Burn me alive

Harry awoke in a way that he hadn\'t for years, completely panic stricken.

He shoved himself away from Draco so hard that he fell off the bed.

Draco rolled over gripping the sheets where Harry had been and grunted, dried blood streaked down his chest, face bruised, hideously purple marks across his torso from the...burns.

Harry\'s stomach turned and he gagged, suddenly so nauseous he didn\'t think he could stand.



Somehow he managed to drag himself to the bathroom. He had a new understanding of Draco\'s fondness for showers.

He felt dirty, filthy, horribly evil and vile and disgusting. How could he possibly be taking advantage of a severely damaged and disturbed person? How could he be harming someone so vulnerable?

It was ok to have feelings for Draco...but not THESE feelings. Not this unruly desire to harm him...but that face. That perfectly delicious face that he made with his nose scrunched up and his head thrown back and his mouth open wide...And those sounds...

Harry abruptly shut off the water. It was bad enough that he had done it, he wasn\'t about to masturbate thinking about doing it.



"You look distraught..." Draco drawled, sauntering in to the bathroom and picking up his tooth brush and beginning to brush his teeth.

Harry gasped and wrenched a towel off the rack, wrapping it around himself.

Draco snorted,

"I think we\'re past that now, Potter."

Harry hung his head,

"Draco... I-"

"Shut up" Draco snarled as he rinsed his mouth.

"You know, I don\'t know what\'s worse. The fact that you constantly tell me I\'m fucked up and then do fucked up things to me, or the fact that you make me feel absolutely amazing and then appologise about it or act like someone kicked your puppy or something."

Draco put his hands on his hips,

"I have a perminantly ruined sexual preference. I can live with that. I can\'t live with you telling me it\'s disgusting all day every day and insisting I\'ve completely gone around the bend and then teasing me with my own fetishes."

Draco threw his tooth brush in the sink and stomped out.

"You think you\'re so much better than me!" He growled.

Harry stepped out of the tub and dried himself off, realizing he\'d not brought any clothes in to the bathroom with him, he crossed the hall to his room to retrieve some.

"What if I left, Potter?"

"Draco.. no" He quickly pulled a shirt over his wet hair.

"No, really, you act like I\'m a sick little pitty party who needs you desperately but what if -I- left? Hm? You\'d have to deal with the real world. You\'d have to go outside."

Harry went into Draco\'s room and found him putting on a coat.

"If I left right now..." Draco turned at him, fire in his eyes.

"You\'d have no reason to continue blowing off your friends and ignoring the existence of the world outside of this house."

"If you left you\'d end up right back in that alley with a death eater who recognized you fondling you again-"

"And that\'s so much worse than you ripping me open with flames JUST LIKE THEY DID and making me feel fucking wonderful and then APPOLOGISING and reinstating in my mind that feeling good is actually very very bad?"

Harry winced.

"I... will you let me heal your chest..." He changed the subject to something he could fix right now.

Draco just stared at him.

"It\'s..difficult for me to see...But... I really enjoy" Harry approached him and pulled the coat back, dropping it to the floor.

"..I really enjoy looking at you but I just can\'t see that..."

He placed his hand on Draco\'s chest over his shirt and mumbled a healing spell.

"NO!" Draco shouted slapping his hand away.

"I LIKE it. I like how it looks! I like the evidence. The proof." Draco clawed at himself.

"I am here and I am real. I bleed. I scar. You love me! This is what this is. This is love."

Harry\'s eyes got wide and he stared at Draco for a moment,

"Maybe you should leave..."

"Maybe you should stop being in denial, you like hurting me. You\'re a sadist, but I\'m a masochist so really, it\'s fine."

Harry cringed,

"Don\'t talk like that of course I\'m not and of course it\'s not FINE!"

"You could try cuddling me and whispering sweet nothings in my ear after hours of gentle love making until you\'re blue in the face, I\'d just end up lying there bored to pieces and incredibly uncomfortable."

"But how do you even know that!" Harry threw his hands up.

"Because simply saying that sentence made me terribly uncomfortable!"

"Every time I try to be nice to you, you start insulting me and trying to get me to hit you!"

"Potter, let\'s be serious for a moment, when have we ever been nice to each other?"

Harry thought for a moment.

"I\'m not going to be in a relationship with-"

"This is not a relationship" Draco corrected him.

"This is... like when a baby bird sees a cat when it first opens its eyes and becomes hopelessly attached to it. You just so happened to be there when I opened my eyes... and stuck around when I continued to close them and pretend to not exist...You\'re bloody Harry Potter, you killed Voldemort. I can\'t make you do a damn thing you don\'t want to do, so don\'t act so helpless in this whole thing!"

"It\'s not like I WANT to hurt you!" Harry yelled stalking up to Draco and getting in his face.

"It\'s not like you give me a choice! It\'s like... It\'s like you just make my fucking blood boil or something!" He grabbed Draco\'s shoulders.

"You are just so real! So solid and... and you don\'t leave even if I want you to, you\'re so selfish, you never ask me about me! You don\'t make me think about all those stupid things and when I get angry at Ron I can\'t just punch him in the face and shag and it\'s all well and good!" He shook Draco.

"Do you understand?!" He shouted in his face.

"You make my fucking blood sing and my skin tingle and I just feel so strongly that... It\'s like something inside of me is burning! Like something is on fire and no matter of gentle touches and \'I love you\'s would satisfy it. It\'s so strong I just have to MAKE you feel it. I have to engulf you in this like it engulfs me!"

Draco tipped his head to the side, squinting, as if trying to read Harry\'s mind or possibly something written backwards on his forehead.

Harry sighed and released Draco\'s shoulders,

"Just touching you," he cupped Draco\'s face, sliding his hand down his neck and around to his hair.

"It\'s...It\'s not enough, Draco. I need to... I need to feel you I need to make you feel... as intensely as I do..." He gripped his hair and Draco\'s head jerked back, his lips parting slightly as he squeaked.

Harry gripped harder,

"THAT!" He shouted jerking Draco\'s head back and slamming his back into the wall.

"That SOUND."

Draco moaned as his body collided with the wall and Harry pressed tightly in to him.

Harry breathed heavily down Draco\'s neck.

"This is how we\'ve always been... You have always been this... permanent fixture...You run up and say stupid things and then I hurt you and you hurt me more so I hurt you more back and we fight and throw punches and we bloody well HATE each other and then we get up and walk away and go back to our lives feeling better because we were each others coping mechanism." He nipped Draco\'s neck.

"You think if I didn\'t enjoy hitting you just a little I would\'ve kept doing it for seven years?" Bite. Gasp. Moan. Arch.

Draco dug his nails into Harry\'s back and pulled in his shirt, he chuckled,

"Oh, Potter, you\'re not as dumb as you look. But you still think I\'m the spoiled brat." He hopped up wrapping his legs around Harry\'s waist.

"We meet, I try to make nice, you turn me down." Harry dug his teeth into his neck deeper.

"ngh... We land in separate houses, you have all the friends in the world, I have enemies who call themselves my friends."

Harry growled,

"You had a fucking family Malfoy."

Draco laughed again, squirming as Harry removed his mouth and latched on to his shoulder, grinding their hips together. Draco shuttered.

"You find solace in beating my arse in quiditch, something I thought I was genuinely good at. I go home and my dad beats my arse and my mums drunk as fuck and come back to school pissed, see you, start a fight, you get to pummel me and feel good. Big and important. Your life sucks a little because too many people love you."

"You know nothing" Harry hissed lifting Draco and carrying him over to drop him on the bed.

"Meanwhile I\'m in a hole somewhere getting fucked ten times a day and torn to shreds. You need your release back. Your coping mechanism. And life just drops me off on your front porch, ready and willing to have the shit beaten out of me whenever you need a good wank." Draco laughed maniacally. He slid a hand up his own chest, lifting his shirt and fingering the scabs from last night.

Harry hung his head.

Draco stopped laughing.

"I always wondered what could have you so wound up though... Always ready to pound my ass into the floor. Too many people falling over themselves to love you?" He sat up and cocked his head to the side, resting his hands on Harry\'s hips and nuzzling his crotch.

Harry looked down at Draco, poison dripping from his eyes.

He lifted his hand and swiftly struck Draco across the face.

"You. Know. Nothing. I had no one. I lived in a closet. My \'family\' used me like a house elf, they starved me and beat me and said horrible things to me and I could never fight back." Harry spat.

Draco turned his face back towards Harry, a smile creeping across his lips.

"You\'re angry at them, then?"

"WHY are you smiling?" Harry demanded.

Draco leaned forward, touching his nose to the button on Harry\'s pants before catching it in his teeth and pulling, slipping it through the hole.

"How angry are you at them?" He grabbed the zipper between his teeth and pulled down, gently.

"Did they insult your mother? Your friends?"

"SHUT UP" Harry ground out, smacking Draco again.

Draco cackled.

"He liked to strike you in the face, didn\'t he. And you just sat there and took it like a little bitch-"

A fist this time. He shoved Draco back and smashed the side of his face in to the bed straddling his hips, looking at the blonde hair tangled around his fingers which were turning white from the force he was using to keep the other boys face in the mattress.

"I couldn\'t do anything! If I left that house Voldemort would\'ve killed me!"

He quickly let go of Draco\'s face and covered his own,

"I have to stop. I have to stop doing this. I can\'t hurt you. I can\'t take this out on you I..." Draco pried Harry\'s hands from his face and smashed their lips together.

"We\'re very similar." Draco muttered into Harry\'s lips as he bit down trying to get him to open his mouth.

"You just adapted one way and...I adapted the other."

Harry pushed Draco away.

"It\'s here." He put one of Draco\'s hands over his abdomen.

"It\'s...it\'s like fire and it gets bigger and bigger and it clouds my mind and makes me different...powerful. But just with you... Only when I hurt you..."

He buried his face in the nape of Draco\'s neck.

"It\'s like you\'re a match dropping into a pool of gasoline...it feels like you\'re going to burn me alive..."

"Fire\'s my favourite" Draco mumbled darkly.

"I seem to be fond of it as well..." Harry whispered.



















It had been weeks, months, maybe a year, who knows. The instances of Harry losing control of his better senses became more and more frequent. At some point they both decided it was time to go back to work, only Harry wanted a new partner. Ron had long since removed himself from the picture.



He felt warmth start in his core. A tingly, nearly uncomfortable feeling as he slammed into the screaming blonde over and over again as he begged him to stop like the wanton whore that he was.

He gripped his wrists so tightly he was certain they would snap in half. Draco\'s whole body arched upwards and twitched as his hands became red and Harry thoroughly attempted to bruise both Draco\'s ass and his own groin.

"no." Draco said as his erection bobbed.

"shut.up" Harry snapped,



Draco wrapped his legs around Harry and pushed his ass onto his hips pulling Harry closer with his heels.

"no-touching" Harry snapped smacking Draco as hard as he could across the face.

Draco cringed and writhed as he came all over Harry\'s abdomen. He dug his foot into the middle of Harry\'s back, earning him two more smacks, one drawing blood.

Harry growled.

Draco cried arching, clearly eager to cum for the third time.

Harry began ramming into the smaller boy faster and faster. He could feel it. The fire in his core. It threatened him. He knew what it was trying to do.

His stomach tightened and he grabbed Draco\'s throat, telling him to tighten. Draco shook his head no and coughed while his face began to redden.

"DO IT" Harry gripped his neck more firmly. Draco opened his mouth trying to scream, but all that came out was a pathetic squeak.

He tightened his ass and Harry rammed in sloppily as he felt the tingly flames spread from his core down his thighs to his knees which weakened and up through his shoulders and his arms, attempting to shatter the hand he had around Draco\'s neck.

Harry latched on to Draco\'s neck, drawing blood.

Draco rasped as he began to turn purple, on the verge of passing out.

Harry let out a monsterous growl as he rammed into Draco and then fell onto his chest, his hand going limp and his body arching and falling out of his control as he came into him.

Draco dug his nails into Harrys wrist prying the hand off of his neck, his hard on still prodding Harry\'s stomach as he lied there staring at the wall.

He gasped several times, coughed, waited for the room to stop spinning.

Harry trailed nibbles down Draco\'s neck and swiftly pulled out, hopping out of bed, Draco did not enjoy being cuddled, well at least not in this state of mind anyhow.



"I\'m gonna shower and get to work, you should too." Harry commented over his shoulder as he strutted out of the room.

"For fucks sake Potter, give me two seconds-"

"Up, NOW." Harry demanded.

Draco got up and followed him in to the shower.

"Good boy." Harry said as he shut the door behind them.