So Wrong, Yet So Right

Severus’ fingers lazily moved along Potter’s lower arm, as they lay on their sides facing each other on the bed. They had just finished talking about Weasley, which made him glad to know that Potter felt comfortable enough to tell him (even if he had to swear not to tell McGonagall). He assumed his promise not to say anything, instead of doing anything, was because Potter figured he was a professor and couldn’t really harm a student. He couldn’t really be sleeping with them either, but he wasn’t about to point that out to him.

“When did you know you were gay?” Harry suddenly asked him.

Severus grimaced, remembering the exact moment he had known, but he didn’t think Potter was ready to hear about that just yet. “I was in my fifth year,” he compromised.

“Did people know?”

Severus sighed, releasing his hand from Potter’s arm. “Just one,” he whispered.

Harry noticed his slight detachment and scooted in closer, placing his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Are you okay?” he quietly asked.

Severus nodded, closing his eyes. “Just give me a moment,” he stated, taking in a few shaky breaths. He then opened his eyes and let out a breath, staring straight into green. “You really do have your mother’s eyes,” he suddenly whispered.

Harry’s eyes widened at the statement, and he couldn’t help but smile. “Do you remember her at all?” he questioned.

Severus sighed, combing his hand through Potter’s messy hair. “She was beautiful,” he expressed. “And funny, and smart, and gentle. She never judged anyone simply because of looks, or money, or popularity,” he continued. “She was also strong, and fierce, and very protective of the things she loved,” he smiled at her son.

Harry tilted his head, staring at him in awe. “How do you know all that?” he wondered.

Severus slowly leaned in and gave him a kiss, pulling away a few seconds later. “Because we used to be best friends until we finally drifted apart in sixth year,” he replied, noticing the shock on Potter’s face afterward.

“What?” he gasped, quickly backing away from him, though he wasn’t quite sure why.

He chuckled, seeing the boy’s retreat. “Lily – your mother,” he quickly amended, “and I had become friends when we were about nine.”

“You’re joshing me, right?”

Severus shook his head. “No, I’m not. We used to live in the same neighborhood. I was the one who told her all about magic and everything,” he smiled fondly. “She thought she was some sort of freak because of it, though I think that had a lot to do with how her shrew of a sister kept calling her that.”

Harry flinched, remembering how the Dursleys always called him a freak when he was younger, and even to this day, actually. He hated that word with a passion. “I know how she felt,” he suddenly whispered, tears stinging his eyes.

Severus saw the tears and reached out, wrapping his arm around Potter. “Your mother and I were inseparable,” he continued, wanting the boy to forget about his horrible guardians and remember his loving mother. “Even though we were sorted in separate houses, we remained as close as ever.”

“How close?” he curiously wondered, feeling a little sick at the pending answer.

Severus shook his head, knowing what he was thinking. “We never slept together, Potter,” he confirmed.

Harry’s body suddenly relaxed in that knowledge. He wasn’t sure how he would have felt if Snape answered differently. “Were you ever close?” he then asked, wondering if he had some sort of sick pleasure in torturing himself.

Severus tilted his head to the side, not sure if Potter really wanted to know the answer. “Do you honestly want me to answer that?” he inquired.

Harry chewed on his bottom lip in uncertainty. As much as he wanted to learn more about their surprising friendship, he knew it was probably best they stop talking about it. He really didn’t want to have to visualize his mother in the same bed as Snape, if he could avoid it.

Severus smirked, gliding his thumb along Potter’s soft lips. “Let’s just say she made me aware of something about myself in fifth year that I had never known before,” he soon whispered.

Harry widened his eyes, remembering what he had said earlier about fifth year. “That was when you knew you were gay,” he stated.

“Five points to Gryffindor,” he smiled, pulling the boy closer to him and kissing his lips.

Harry wrapped his arm around Snape when their kiss deepened, wanting to feel him closer. He could feel the heat rising between them, realizing how much he wanted more. “Snape,” he suddenly gasped, lifting his neck so the man could have access to it.

Severus lowered his kisses to the boy’s neck, sucking on the sensitive spot he knew to be Potter’s weakness. “Merlin, I want you,” he softly growled.

“Oh take me,” he panted, gently tugging on the man’s hair. “Take me now.”

“Not now,” he whispered, licking at the small bruise he just created.

“Then when?” he strained, his cock painfully rock hard.

“Do you truly believe you’re ready?” Severus questioned, returning to Potter’s lips.

Harry nodded, gripping Snape’s hair tighter. “I’m ready,” he murmured against his lips.

Severus firmly pressed his mouth against Potter’s before pulling away, staring intently in his eyes. “Tonight then,” he stated. “When Draco can be here too. I want him to experience this as well.”

Harry licked his lips and nodded, smiling, “I want that too.”

Severus smiled, glancing down at the erection inside Potter’s pants. “Think you can hold off until then?” he asked, looking back up at him.

Harry bit down hard on his bottom lip, his body trembling. “No,” he shakily answered.

Severus chuckled, caressing the boy’s cheek. “Not even for a few hours?” he teased, aware of what his touches were doing to him.

“Oh,” he groaned, closing his eyes. “That’s not fair.”

He leaned in closer, lightly blowing warm air inside Potter’s ear. “Just think how much more pleasurable it would be if you saved it all for later,” he whispered.

“If I have to save it for later, then you better believe I won’t make it passed the first touch,” he confessed.

Severus smiled, lightly touching the boy’s lips. “Fair enough,” he murmured, grabbing Potter’s swollen cock firmly in his hand.

Harry gasped, surprised by how Snape had swiftly unbuttoned his pants and slipped his hand inside without him even knowing. “Oh fuck,” he moaned, tilting his head back.

It didn’t take long for him to reach his orgasm, his arousal having spiked long before he was even touched. After he came, he wearily leaned his head on Snape’s shoulder, sighing in content. “Thank you,” he whispered. “For everything.”

*****
He stopped in front of the bedroom door, placing his hand on it and closing his eyes. He took a deep breath, needing to calm himself before entering. He was a Malfoy, as well as a Slytherin. If there was one thing he learned in his seventeen years of life, it was how to avoid the truth.

He let out his breath and opened his eyes, slowly pushing the door open and smiling at the intimate sight before him. Potter was snuggled up close to Severus, sleeping with his head on his professor’s chest, while Severus lay awake on his back, softly combing his hand through the boy’s hair.

Draco moved further inside the room, heading toward the empty side of the bed next to Severus. Severus turned his head in his direction, watching him sit down. “Are you okay?” he quietly asked, not wanting to disturb Potter.

Draco nodded, glancing down at Potter. He smiled at his angelic face, his heart melting at the sight. “He’ll never go after him again,” he whispered, looking over at Severus.

“So when are you going to tell him?”

Draco shook his head, “I’m not.”

“Draco,” Severus frowned.

“I can’t, Severus.”

“Don’t you think it’s best that you tell him before he finds out on his own?”

Draco sighed, glancing down at Potter once more. “I threatened him not to say anything to anyone,” he murmured.

“That doesn’t mean people won’t be spreading rumors about him getting beaten up,” Severus sighed. “He’s going to know it was you.”

Sensing him stirring on his chest, Severus immediately silenced himself, glancing down at Potter. Draco nervously swallowed, looking down at him as well, hoping he hadn’t heard them talking.

Harry opened his eyes and yawned, looking up and noticing Malfoy and Snape staring at him. He blushed, backing away from Snape’s chest and laying on his side, his hands resting underneath his head. “How long was I out?” he embarrassingly asked, not believing he had fallen asleep after Snape had touched him.

“Not too long,” Severus smiled, understanding his embarrassment.

“How are you feeling?” Draco asked.

“Much better than before,” he answered.

“Good. Mind if I come over there and kiss you then?” he smirked.

Harry smiled, shaking his head. Draco leaned over Severus’ body, pressing his lips firmly to Potter’s, and then backed away, returning to his place on the bed. He then leaned in to Severus, wanting to give him a similar kiss.

“Where were you?” Harry asked.

“I had to get a few things from my dorm,” he lied, standing up from the bed. “I also brought back some dinner, if you both are hungry.”

Harry licked his lips, realizing how long it had been since he last ate. “Great, I’m starving,” he said, rolling out of bed and exiting the bedroom.

Draco closed his eyes and took in a deep breath, before following him out the door. He suddenly stopped when he felt Severus’ hand rest on his shoulder. “I know what I’m doing,” he quietly said, picking up his step once more.

*****
“I hate that I have to go back to Gryffindor Tower tomorrow night,” Harry frowned, breaking off a piece of his biscuit and putting it in his mouth.

“Are you going to see about changing your room?” Severus questioned, reaching for his drink.

Harry sighed, shaking his head. “He wouldn’t do anything in our room,” he reasoned.

“Fine, but promise you’ll at least put charms over your bed when you’re asleep,” Severus glared at him, letting him know it was not up for discussion.

“Okay, I will,” he promised, eating another piece of his biscuit. He then turned toward Malfoy and furrowed his eyebrows, realizing he had been quiet for a while. “You okay?” he asked, touching his shoulder.

Draco suddenly jumped in his seat, when he felt Potter’s touch. His mind had somehow trailed off, making him forget where he was for the moment. “Sorry,” he apologized.

“It’s okay,” Harry commented. “You just seem a bit distracted tonight. Is everything alright?”

Severus glanced over at Draco, seeing the boy nod. He sighed to himself, taking another sip of his drink and returning to his meal. He knew the guilt was eating away at him and just wished he would confess already.

“Just thinking,” Draco replied.

“Oh so that’s what that burning smell is,” Harry joked.

Draco smirked, throwing a piece of his chicken at him. “Prat.”

Harry laughed, stuffing the rest of his biscuit inside his mouth. He then looked over at Snape, noticing he had now become silent. He sighed, placing his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Don’t worry. I’ll remember the charms,” he assured him.

Severus looked over at him and frowned. “I really wish you’d reconsider telling McGonagall.”

Harry quickly shook his head, looking down at his chicken and poking at the skin, hoping Snape would drop it. He soon heard the man sigh and knew he had acquiesced.

“Listen,” he then sighed, looking up from his food and over at the two Slytherins. “I’m not daft. I understand what you both are saying, but it’s not as easy as all that. He was my best friend. He knew I was gay before this even happened, so I know it couldn’t have all been about that; at least with his part anyway. Now I’m not saying I’m forgiving him for what he did – I still hate him and will never consider him a friend again – but I’ve been giving it a lot of thought and I’ve decided-”

Draco immediately widened his eyes in disbelief. “Don’t you dare say you’re going to go talk to him,” he interjected.

“I have to, Malfoy,” Harry responded. “I have to know why.”

“No,” Draco yelled, dropping his fork on his plate with a loud clatter. “I don’t want you going anywhere near him.”

“I know you’re worried, but Malfoy, I have to know-”

“It was because of me, alright?” he screamed, jumping out of his chair, seeing the two baffled faces staring up at him.

“What are you talking about?” Harry asked.

“It was because of me,” he quietly repeated, glancing away.

“Why would you think that?” Harry questioned, curious where he would get such an idea.

“Because he told me,” he whispered, tears starting to form in his eyes.

Harry suddenly shot out of his chair, realization dawning on him. “You promised!” he screamed.

Draco winced, quickly wiping his eyes and looking over at Potter. “Potter, I’m sorry,” he tried apologizing.

“I trusted you,” he shakily continued, anger boiling to the surface. “I asked you not to do anything and you went behind my back and did it anyway.”

“I just-”

“It wasn’t your fight, Malfoy!”

“But I-”

“Why did you do it?”

“Because I care about you and he fucking hurt you,” he cried, darting out of the room and into Severus’ bedroom, slamming the door shut behind him.

Harry stood frozen in his stance, staring at the closed door. He didn’t know what to do. He knew Malfoy was sorry for what he did, but he couldn’t help being upset. He had already lost his best friend’s trust; he really didn’t want to lose Malfoy’s, too.

“Potter,” Severus suddenly spoke up, breaking the tense silence.

Harry jumped, forgetting the man was still there. He looked over at him and sighed, sitting back down in his seat and lowering his head.

Severus lightly touched his arm, seeing the boy look up at him. “I know what he did was wrong, but I also know what kind of guy Draco is,” he began. “He needed to protect you, protect your honor.”

“I know,” Harry sniffed, fighting back some tears he felt forming in his eyes. “It just hurts knowing that he went behind my back like that.”

“Don’t you think he’s hurting too?” Severus frowned. “Not only did he break a promise to someone he cares about, but he also found out he was the cause of them getting hurt.”

“But it wasn’t his fault,” Harry whispered, glancing over at the bedroom door.

“Of course it wasn’t, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel guilty about it.”

Harry sighed and stood up from his seat, looking down at Snape. “Thanks,” he softly said, before slowly moving toward the bedroom.

*****
He lightly tapped on the door and opened it, peeking his head inside. He saw Malfoy lying on his stomach, his head buried in a pillow as he cried. He took a deep breath before entering further inside, closing the door behind him.

He slowly moved closer to the bed, kneeling on the floor beside it. He reached his hand out and gently placed it on Malfoy’s back, startling the blond.

Draco quickly looked over at him, tears streaming down his face. “I’m sorry,” he shakily voiced. “Potter, I’m sorry.”

Harry nodded, rubbing the boy’s back. “I know,” he whispered. “I’m sorry too.”

Draco sniffed, wiping his eyes. “What do you have to be sorry about?” he asked.

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that,” he began. “I know you were just trying to protect me.”

“I don’t like seeing you hurt,” he firmly stated.

Harry frowned, releasing his hand from Malfoy’s back and moving it toward Malfoy’s face, gently gliding his thumb underneath the boy’s eyes to wipe away more of his tears. “Just as I don’t like seeing you hurt,” he softly replied.

Draco sniffed again, rolling on his side and placing his hands underneath his head. “I’m sorry you got hurt because of me,” he whispered.

Harry quickly shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault,” he explained.

Draco sighed. “But if we hadn’t become closer, he would never have come after you.”

Harry immediately narrowed his eyes at the blond. “Stop it, Malfoy,” he scolded. “I won’t have you blaming yourself for what happened. I know Ron, and I know all he needs is just one thing to set him off and that’s it. If it wasn’t you, it would have been something else.”

“But it was me,” he grimaced, closing his eyes in shame. He suddenly felt a soft pair of lips on his mouth and opened his eyes in surprise.

Harry backed away from him and smiled, licking his lips. “Then it was worth it,” he whispered, combing his hand through Malfoy’s hair.

Draco smiled at him, feeling his heart beat rapidly. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Potter.”

“Well let’s hope we never have to find out,” he smiled, giving him another kiss.

He then backed away, still moving his hand through the boy’s blond hair. “My knight in shining armor,” he teased.

“Yeah, yeah. Just don’t go around telling people that,” he sighed.

“What? That you actually possess the qualities of a Gryffindor?” Harry continued to rag.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Potter,” he muttered, his cheeks flushing in embarrassment.

Harry laughed, noticing the blush. “Don’t worry, Malfoy. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“Good.”

“My little lion,” he smirked, hurriedly running out of the bedroom when Malfoy shot out of the bed and chased after him.