Smile Like You Mean It

NOTICE TO ALL MY READERS!!!

Ok, I'm very sorry to inform you all that I have to go away until the 9th of June, so I'm afraid there won't be any updates until then.... I'm so sorry!

But I promise the story will resume as usual, with regular updates as soon as possible!

Have a fun week!

xxx Aera Vale


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Chapter 13 - Confrontations


Snape stormed into the tower room, slamming the door open so hard it ricocheted off the wall.

"Albus!" he snarled at the elderly man seated behind a desk at the far end of the room.

"Severus." replied Dumbledore calmly. "What can I do for you?"

"Don't play coy with me, Albus!" roared Snape, advancing until he was standing just in front of the desk. "Lily's daughter! In my classroom! Why didn't you tell me?"

For a long while the old man just watched his friend, chin resting on steepled fingers. Snape remained standing, fists clenched at his sides, breathing heavily. It had been a long time since Albus had seen Severus so incensed. He sighed.

"Think about it, Severus. Do you think I would have acted thus for no reason? Aera was kept hidden from the wizard world, not just you. I needed you ignorant of her for the reason of keeping her safe. You know I thought Voldemort would someday return. I believed that Aera would benefit us best as a shadow, our secret in case we someday needed her services. That day has arrived."

"You could have told me of her before the start of the school year. That may have saved me from entering my classroom and finding myself at a loss as to why the new girl was the image of Lily." Snape said coldly. Dumbledore smiled inwardly. At last Severus had returned to his characteristic sarcasm and coolness.

"You had a meeting with Lucius Malfoy. Do you really think you could have kept her identity hidden at such short notice?"

Snape didn't reply but settled himself into a seat across from Dumbledore. He glared at the headmaster with icy chillness.

Dumbledore folded his hands and rested back against his chair. "Aera will aid us. Harry has faced Voldemort five times and failed to vanquish him. I believe she is the missing part of our puzzle."

"So you intend to use her, just as you use everyone else." said Snape quietly.

"You didn't appear to have a problem when I told you about my plans for Harry!" snapped Albus, though the anger was quickly hidden. "Is it really so hard for you to comprehend, Severus? She is important and I mean for her to play her part."

"She is Lily's daughter! You knew I should have known about her."

"Lily chose to distance herself from you when you became involved with the Death Eaters. It is not my fault she didn't tell you."

Snape sneered. "It is your fault that you didn't tell me." He rearranged himself on the chair. "Harry does not know. What are your intentions there?"

"I have advised Aera not to tell Harry who she is, though I doubt she will hold out on that for much longer. Aera has known about her lineage from the beginning. I believed this would aid us in security. If I were to die before now, she would at least have had the knowledge to act upon. I did not think we needed another with that information."

Snape's eyes flickered to the pensieve, half hidden in an alcove. He had surrendered many memories to Dumbledore, allowing the old professor to examine anything he thought would help the side of the light. Now Snape felt a twinge of jealousy. There were memories of Lily in there. Ones he had coveted for many years.

He looked back to find Dumbledore watching him. "You wish to look inside the pensieve?"

Snape hesitated. He wanted to see her again, as solid as life itself. Yet he thought the experience would torture more than compose him. He shook his head.

"Aera doesn't... know, does she?" he asked, hating himself for stuttering.

Dumbledore gave a kindly smile which made Snape want to poison him. He didn't want pity. "No."

Severus couldn't stop the sigh of relief. Aera's face appeared in his mind and he felt the stir of something deep inside him, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. He examined the feeling, turning it through his mind. But the emotion was gone, leaving him feeling empty once more.

"Severus." He looked up at the soft voice of the professor. "Teach her potions. Help her to recognise poisons, brew antidotes. This is the best way for you to help protect her."

Snape gave a half smile. "She hardly needs it. She has the same gift for potions as Lily did. But I will do all I can. Lily's daughter will be safe in my class."


++++++++++++++++++++++


Aera was making her way down to breakfast when Ginny came running up from behind her.

"Hey!" Ginny called, laughing as she came alongside Aera. "So? What happened yesterday?"

Aera tried to look confused but Ginny thumped her on the arm. "You don't get away that easy! You were up in the hospital wing all day with Blaise Zabini, one of the most sought after guys in Hogwarts. Now I demand to know what happened."

Aera grinned despite herself. The image of herself and Blaise locked in a passionate embrace had leapt to mind. Despite her immediate horror at what had occurred, she had enjoyed it. "We kissed."

Ginny stopped dead in her tracks, mouth open. "You did what!" she screeched.

Aera felt herself go red as a group of third years stopped and stared at the display. Gripping Ginny by the arm she led her into a deserted classroom.

"We kissed. And if you tell anyone I'll hex you." she said once she was certain they were alone.

"Oh Merlin!" gasped Ginny. "But he's knicker-wettingly gorgeous! You haven't even been here a week and you're already in with the Slytherin Italian? Shit, Aera." This new revelation made Ginny give Aera a top to toe look over. "I suppose it's not that surprising though. I mean, you're pretty hot yourself."

"Ginny!" groaned Aera, feeling the blush take a solid hold of her now. "It wasn't intentional. The Sense Potion kind of took over. It was magically induced."

"Yeah, and I'm a Gringotts Goblin." said the red-head with scorn. "You really think he wasn't interested in you from the start? You're nuts." she finished with conviction.

Aera sighed and sat up on the edge of a desk. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about Blaise. Sure, he was hot. But for some reason, while her intense kiss with him had been wonderful, her kiss with Draco Malfoy somehow over-rode it.

"Have you kissed anyone else?"

The question came out of nowhere and Aera made the mistake of pausing before answering. Ginny's grin grew even wider though she waited for an answer. Aera, realising a lie wouldn't suffice, phrased her words carefully.

"Yes, but I don't want to tell you who it is yet, ok? I'm still trying to work out what it all means." Ginny nodded, though she looked disappointed.

"So, what's going to happen with Zabini?"

This same question had prevented Aera from getting a decent night's sleep. "I... I don't know. He implied that it wasn't finished, but I don't know what he meant." The gong for breakfast sounded loudly. "I suppose I'm about to find out."


++++++++++++++++++++++


Zabini had deliberately tried to avoid Draco since the day before. It had been easy enough until they had come face to face outside the Dungeon common room. By the stoney expression on Draco's face it was clear he had been waiting there for precisely this reason.

"What happened."

It was no secret that Blaise was quiet, but he would usually be quick enough to answer a straight question. Now, he hesitated, wondering how best to phrase his answer. He decided on honesty.

"I succeeded in lulling her into civility. I kissed her, knowing that the Sense Potion would affect her senses enough that she would return the kiss. When she pulled away, I told her that it had not been my intention. This helped her open up to me, talking enough to assure me that my plan to get closer to her was effective." He didn't add that he had come very close to losing himself in the kiss as much as she, that he had progressed further than he had planned. The feel and look of her breasts were very much detailed in his mind.

Malfoy's face twisted into a snarl. "You didn't tell me that was what you had planned."

Zabini shrugged and prepared to continue on his way. He was surprised therefore when a strong hand gripped his upper arm, holding him in place.

Blaise turned so that he faced his friend. The scowl was still evident and realisation hit Zabini. He wondered if his powers of observation were failing that he had not seen how much Draco felt for this girl.

"Drake," he said softly, using their childhood name. "I have no intention of taking what you have already decided to possess. The kiss was a means to an end, I am only doing what you bid me. She will confide in me, and I will tell you all I hear."

The fingers, which had begun to bruise the tanned skin, slackened slightly. Zabini waited until Draco had completely let go and then laid a hand on his shoulder. "Come friend, let us go to breakfast. I will tell you of my plans along the way."

Draco didn't move, giving Zabini a long hard look. "You alone know of this Blaise. I mean only to discover her secrets, that is all. You understand?"

More than you would guess, Drake. Zabini thought, but he nodded in confirmation.


+++++++++++++++++++++++++

When Aera entered the Great Hall with Ginny, she felt her mind sigh in relief. Her eyes had flickered towards the Slytherin table, but there was no sign of Zabini. She didn't know what was going to happen when they met each other next, but the memory of how she had reacted to his kiss was still fresh enough in her mind to be embarrassing.

"Buona mattina, Bella."

The Italian drawl made her jump as she spun around. Zabini had entered the hall behind her, with Malfoy at his side. She ignored the blonde as she smiled at Blaise.

"Good morning." she paused, unsure of how to continue. But the tall dark man had been educated in conversation.

"You have Charms this morning, yes? I'm afraid I have Runes. But perhaps I could ask you to join me for a short stroll down by the lake after supper?"

Aera felt herself begin to blush and she stamped it down severely. Ginny was off to her left, grinning like an idiot. She gave a short nod, feeling nervous. She wasn't used to this sort of thing. Coming from an all girl school she had no idea how to behave when being asked on a date. If it even was a date.

"Wonderful." said Blaise, his lips curving into a handsome smile. "Until later then." He dipped his head in a gentlemanly bow and moved towards the Slytherin table.

As Malfoy passed, Aera couldn't help but look into his face, wondering why he was so silent. At that moment their eyes met and she felt heat suffuse her body, as if his very gaze was enough to set the fire alight once more inside her. She turned quickly away and made her way over to where her friends were seated. Ginny followed, for once not commenting.

"Mornin'." said Ron, stretching his arms above his head. Aera smiled at him. She liked Ron, with his easy-going demeanour.

"Morning." she replied as she sat beside him. Harry was across from her, watching her carefully. "What's up Harry?"

He shrugged. "I was wondering if the potion had left any after-effects. But you seem fine, a little flushed though. We've started making it."

For a moment Aera didn't understand what he was referring to, then her plan involving the Veritaserum popped into her head. "Oh, right. Well, if you need any help, you know you can ask me."

Hermione leant in towards them, taking a sip of coffee. "Actually we were thinking we might exclude you from the preparation altogether. Just so that it doesn't become compromised."

Aera felt anger rise inside her. Without thinking she snapped at the bushy-haired girl. "You know, if you're going to imply that I can't be trusted, or that I intend to sabotage the potion, there are nicer ways to say it!"

Hermione's jaw dropped and she sat back quickly, her coffee spilling over the table. Then her eyes narrowed. "If you had decided to include us in your secrets perhaps there wouldn't be such a lack of trust. This was your doing from the start, Aera Vale."

Fury was pumping through Aera now and she clenched her fists. She turned her body to deliberately face Hermione and spoke very slowly. "Perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to judge, Hermione. You may know more than most people about things that can be learnt in books, but you are the most naive person I've ever met when it comes to the real world. Has it occurred to you that I have a reason for keeping secrets? Please, for once keep your mouth shut and think through what you want to say, because all I can hear from you is the stupid fucking ramblings of a little girl who has no idea what is going on if it isn't written down for her first!"

Aera pushed herself to her feet and stormed out of the hall, aware of people turning to watch. That last sentence had been said a little too loud, but she didn't really care. Hermione's shocked expression floated in her mind and she felt surprise at her own spirit. It was true that she stood up for herself, but she had not expected to put Hermione in her place with such harsh words.

The grounds called to her and she made her way outside, where a chill wind was blowing. Wrapping her cloak around her she made her way down to the lake. Waves, created by the wind, were lapping against the shore. She crouched down and dipped her fingers into the cold water.

It was all so simple when you looked at things from the outside. But suddenly you were in the middle and emotions, feelings, other people got in the way. She liked Hermione, despite the way they grated against each other. But the know-it-all personality irked her when she knew that Hermione had no idea what was going on for Aera. She didn't want all these secrets.

Frustration built up in her throat and she let out a ragged scream, eyes squeezed tight. The sound was carried away by the wind across the lake, travelling out of hearing. When nothing could be heard again but the howl of the wind, she stood, focusing on calm.

The sound of footsteps came from behind her but she didn't turn around. She didn't want company. She didn't want to try to explain, once again, why secrecy was better, at least for the moment.

Two strong arms wrapped around her and she leant into the embrace. "It's all right to let go sometimes, Aera." It was Sirius Black, his long dark hair tickling her cheek. For another moment she just stood there, fighting the feelings that were threatening to overwhelm her. "You're safe Aera, let go."

The tears came then, pouring down her cheeks in unstoppable cascades. It wasn't the genteel weeping of a distressed teenager, but the heartbreaking shuddering sobs of a little child, when crying appears to generate more tears. She clung to this man, who had been a friend of her parents. He held her so carefully, guiding her down until she was seated on the rough stones of the lake shore, his arms still around her.

She cried because she didn't know what was the right thing to do, she cried because her brother didn't know who she was, she cried because men had suddenly become a confusing part of her life. She cried because there was no way to understand just what it was the world wanted of her, after all she was but sixteen years old.

Eventually the tears began to slow. She used the edge of her robe to wipe the last few from her cheeks and lifted her head from where it had been snugly rested against Sirius's chest. He was staring out across the water, but he looked down at her when he felt her move. He smiled softly, running his thumb along her cheek.

"Feeling better?"

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak just yet.

"That's good. Now I think it's about time we had a chat about what you saw in the mirror. No need to look so scared, I'm not forcing you to tell me. But you saw something that made you frightened. I'd like to know what that was."

Aera took a shuddering breath. Her head ached from the tears, but it was a good pain. "I saw myself, but I was... different. I'm not sure if I could explain how. The mirror me called me a liar and deceiver. I thought it only showed you what you desired? I didn't understand."

Sirius exhaled gentle. "Ah. Well, there are many different ways to interpret that I suppose. But it is simple enough, I believe. You don't want to tell Harry."

Aera blinked at him in confusion. "Of... of course I do-"

The look Sirius gave her made her stop and she tried to sort through her thoughts. Yes, she wanted to tell Harry. But... I don't want him to know either. It's my secret and it keeps me safe. Like this I don't have to measure up to anything, I'm anonymous. If I'm seen as a Potter, what will people think? I could never be as good as Harry at flying, as brave in combat, as clever as our mother at brewing potions...

Sirius must have understood more of her thoughts than she realised and he gave a satisfied smile. "There you have it. You want to tell him, but you desire the lack of identity that you now possess. There is a part of you that will always want to lie, but that is because it is what you have been taught. Perhaps telling Harry the truth will help change that."

Aera finally gave a shaky smile in return. "Maybe you're right."

As they got to their feet and began their way back to the castle, Sirius made one last comment.

"If you ask me, I think Harry would be very proud to have you as a sister."

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Please be sure to have read the notice at the top of the page. I hope you all enjoyed the chapter and please be sure to review!


xxx
Aera
p.s. I'm sorry for any mistakes or bad writing. I wrote this chapter in a bit of a rush, so it might be a bit sloppy!