I'll Be Home For Christmas

Hi! Hope everyone had a good Easter. My apologies for the long wait in updating. Real Life intruded, (along with a little bit of writer's block!) but it's all resolved now, and here's the next chapter for your perusal. Please read and remember to review! It really does mean so much! :)



Harry woke gradually, enjoying the feeling of Severus' warmth spooned around the back of him.

Married he thought with a smile. I'm married!

He lay still in Severus' warmth and marvelled on how he'd never thought his life would come this far. Since realising he was gay and breaking up with Ginny, he'd wondered if he'd ever find someone to share his life with, but he had never thought he'd marry or have a family. And what made it all the better was Severus. He'd been surprised enough to find that the feelings he'd developed for his former enemy were returned, but never in all his wildest dreams of all he hoped for for them had he ever thought this would happen.

I'm married, and we're going to have children!

He felt like getting up and shouting his happiness to the world, but he didn't think Severus would appreciate that very much.

Severus.

My husband!

He couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled out of him then, but checked it as he heard Severus growl into his ear, and felt him tighten his arms around him.

"What is so funny?" Severus grumbled sleepily, pressing his face into Harry's neck.

"Nothing," Harry said, contentedly, "just...I'm happy. Really happy."

Severus grunted into his shoulder, then said, "As am I. Although I would be happier if you would let me sleep."

"Wore you out, did I?" Harry chuckled. "You old git," he added affectionately, wiggling himself in closer.

"This old git heard no complaints," Severus growled against his neck, sending shivers through Harry, "as I recall, you said it was perfect."

"It was," Harry sighed happily, "all of it. I just wish we didn't have to go back to work so soon. We don't get much of a honeymoon."

"I forbid you to spoil what peace we do have until the horde descends," Severus said, and Harry felt the accompanying scowl. "Do not speak of it again. I wish to savour this last day. With you. Here. Alone. In silence."

Silence, however, had never been Harry's strong suit, and after a few moments Severus' sleep was again disturbed as Harry announced, "I'm hungry. And I have to pee."

Severus let him go, and enjoyed a few more minutes of silence before it occurred to him Harry was taking an awfully long time relieving himself. "Harry?" he called out. Receiving no answer, he heaved himself out of bed and went looking for his young husband.

He found him, in the bathroom, leaning against the sink, the bright green eyes swimming in tears. Severus was instantly awake, his face grim with worry as he asked with alarm, "Harry? What's wrong?!"

A bright red flush of colour suffused the tear stained cheeks, and Harry turned away, swiping at his eyes, embarassed. "Nothing. I'm fine. Go away."

"What?," Severus said, "I certainly will not "go away". Something is wrong."

"Hormones, okay?" Harry gasped, "Poppy said it would happen...make me more emotional. I just didn't think they'd have me crying like a...girl!"

Severus bit the inside of his lip to stem the urge to laugh and said as evenly as he could, "What were you crying about?"

Looking rather disgusted with himself, Harry said grudgingly, "Just...you know, I'm happy. Really happy. We're married, getting a family. I was splashing my face, and....." he heaved a loud sigh and said, "I caught sight of my ring and ...all the stuff you said about it....that you did this....and how much it means to me and....I couldn't help it."

Severus felt oddly touched, and pulled the boy to himself, holding him tightly. "I am glad to be able to make you happy, Harry. You have made me so very happy."


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They spent their one day together setting their quarters to rights with the addition of Harry's things, looking over their wedding gifts and writing thank you notes, and just quietly enjoying one another's company, each aware that things would change the next day. Harry helped Severus carry the potions ingredients he'd purchased over the holiday to the Potions classroom, and stood amidst the desks remembering his own time spent there.

Severus came out from the storeroom to find Harry sitting in one of the desks he had frequented as a student, a far away look in his eyes. "Tripping down memory lane?" he inquired quietly.

"Who would have thought?" Harry mused wonderingly. "I used to sit in this desk and think up ways of cursing you into the ground."

Severus laughed and ran his fingers over the edge of his teacher's desk. "As I did you from this desk."

"It's kind of strange," Harry said, "you watched me grow up from that desk. Made sure I was safe. And now, you'll probably be doing the same with our kids."

"Who will, hopefully, be better students than you were," Severus said, "I should not be happy taking House points from my own children. Nor my own House."

"Your own House?" Harry snorted, getting up, "what makes you so sure they'll be Slytherins?"

"A child of mine not in Slytherin?" Severus said indignantly, "surely you jest."

"They might be Gryffindors!" Harry exclaimed as they walked back to their quarters, "they're my children too!"

"Every reason to take a firm hand directly from the start," Severus smirked.

"Ha," Harry laughed, "you're probably going to end up spoiling them rotten. Just think, when one of your little girls looks up at you with her daddy's big green eyes. You'll cave just like you do with me."

"I most certainly do not "cave" to you," Severus said indignantly, although the brat was right. Severus had more than once found himself helpless to Harry's emerald gaze.

"We'll see," Harry said slyly.

"Hush, insolent brat," Severus said, and Harry did just that, silenced by his husband's kiss.


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Morning sickness reared it ugly head with a vengeance a few days later.

One moment Severus was kissing his husband awake, and the next he was clutching thin air as Harry exploded out of bed with a gagging sound and bolted for the bathroom. Severus found him on his knees on the floor retching fiercely into the toilet between gasps of air. He brushed the unruly mop of hair off Harry's sweaty forehead and rubbed his back until he was finished. Harry leaned on the rim of the toilet, his head on his arms, panting heavily while Severus got him a cold cloth and a glass of water.

Harry took a sip and swished his mouth out, spitting it into the toilet and groaned. He let Severus wipe his face, the cold cloth feeling wonderful on his heated skin and said shakily, "I guess I'm not going to escape it after all."

"Apparently not," Severus agreed grimly, "how do you feel?"

"Better, actually," Harry said, surprised. "Still a little shaky, but, my stomach has stopped rolling."

Severus wanted him to stay home from work and in bed resting, but Harry insisted he felt fine, wolfed down a huge breakfast, and went off to work.


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The cravings came next, about a fortnight later.

Severus wasn't surprised Harry was now experiencing morning sickness at all hours of the day, given some of the appalling things he ate. Pilchards and grapes on toast smothered in tomato ketchup. Marmite and peanut butter glopped on custard creams. Steak liberally spread with lime marmalade.


Severus' stomach turned just thinking about it.


Most of the school had heard by now of his and Harry's bonding ceremony, the other staff had been present, and they all knew Harry was pregnant. Severus had endured the indulgent looks from his colleagues as they fondly watched Harry shovel in the stomach churning food combinations that the pregnancy caused him to crave, as well as the snickers from the students.


He'd also stood stoically by and listened to his colleagues smugly congratulate him on his impending fatherhood, feeling slightly embarassed on the outside, but nevertheless rather secretly pleased with himself on the inside. They thought they were taunting him, a few made jokes about even him not being able to escape Cupid's arrow, but Severus heard the undertone of envy in their voices, and couldn't help feeling a bit smug himself.


Others may content themselves with thinking they'd found the one they were truly meant to be with; Severus knew it.


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In the meantime, Hermione Weasley gave birth to her and Ron's first child, a boy they named Hugo.

Severus felt obliged to go with Harry to visit the new parents and babe at St. Mungo's, although he did so grudgingly. But, Ron had been Severus' witness after all and so he went. He despised going to hospital, even if it was only to visit, and he was wary of being accosted by rogue reporters. Although his and Harry's bonding was a matter of public record at the Ministry and the papers had run nothing but articles about them for a week after their ceremony, he and Harry had so far been able to avoid any reporters face to face.

"You wouldn't stand out so much if you'd wear something other than solid black," Harry told him as they walked down the corridor to Hermione's room, "you look like the Grim Reaper paying a visit. Not a good thing in a hospital, Sev."

"Yes, well, if you found yourself splattered head to toe on a daily basis with the foulness that the students never fail to concoct in place of the potions they are supposed to be concocting, you would wear nothing else either," Severus said disgustedly. "Beside which, I sincerely doubt my choice of attire could possibly garner more attention than that garish display of Muggle rubbish you insisted on purchasing," he added with a glare at the handful of colourful ballons Harry was clutching, "you'll frighten the child."

"Says you," Harry sniffed, "besides, Hermione is Muggleborn. She'll like them, and they aren't rubbish," but his husband wasn't listening, having turned his glare upon an unfortunate Trainee Healer who had the audacity to smile at them.

"Stop scaring the staff and come on, Sev," Harry said, pulling his husband along, "this is their room."

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After dutifully oohing and aahing over the newest Weasley, Severus couldn't wait to make his escape from the hospital room. He was feeling rather unsettled and he knew Harry was annoyed with him, although he said nothing.

It was that damned Ronald Weasley's fault, Severus groused to himself. Everything would have been fine if only he hadn't insisted Severus hold his son! Severus could think of no graceful way of declining, and had gingerly held the child hoping desperately it continued sleeping peacefully and wouldn't begin squalling. He found himself, to his own annoyance, terrified of the thing and couldn't help himself quickly handing it back to its father, earning himself a fierce scowl from Harry.

Harry hadn't said anything at all about it, but Severus knew it was just a matter of time before he did, and he was dreading it. He'd escaped to his potions lab where he'd been pacing back and forth when Harry had come and curtly informed him he was going to visit Molly Weasley. After flubbing several attempts at brewing some of the potions Poppy Pomfrey had requested for the Infirmary, Severus had finally given up and resumed his pacing.

He sighed disgustedly at himself as he made another turn of the room, his black robes flapping about him. What sort of father was he going to be if he was terrified of holding a baby?! While he'd accepted that he was going to be a father, and had a daily reminder of it listening to Harry retch over the toilet, it was still a somewhat abstract concept to him. Holding the Weasley's child had been a slap of reality to Severus. It had hit him with the force of a thundering hippogriff that in a few short months he would no choice in the matter. He certainly couldn't refuse to hold his own children!

No, he didn not want his children to grow up the way he did, with a cold and unfeeling father, yet try as he may, he could not picture himself holding and comforting a child, especially little girls, and the thought gave him an uncomfortable feeling of panic. What if his own children didn't like him? While he did not hate children as everybody seemed to think, he was honest enough with himself to admit that he did find them generally annoying. What if his own children annoyed him and he ended up snapping at them as he did his students? What if his own children grew to despise him? What if he was so terrified of his own children that he couldn't hold them either?!

He thought about Ronald Weasley handing his son over, insisting that Severus get in a little practice, and Harry's smile that slowly turned to a frown as he watched Severus. He had felt as if he were holding a ticking bomb, that the child would explode into screams at any second, and had hastily handed him back to his father after only a few moments. Ronald Weasley, Severus scowled, recalling the ease with which he'd handled his newborn son. In his school days, Ronald Weasley had barely been able to wield his wand correctly enough to stir his cauldron, and yet there he'd been, handling the child with an ease and confidence that irritated Severus to no end.

With a start, Severus realised he was jealous.


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