All That You Leave Behind

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Harry felt Severus' sobs subside somewhat and knew now would be a good time to leave. He gently disentangled himself from his patient and went into the bathroom. He had still not quite recovered from his crying fit, but he splashed cold water on his face, spattering his glasses in the process. He removed them and bathed his swollen eyes. He wanted to go back to Snape, to ask him to talk about Lily, to tell Harry something about eh woman who had been his mother. A woman he had no memory of ever seeing in reality. He wanted to, but couldn't do it. Snape would be annoyed enough that Harry had witnessed his breakdown. Now was definitely not the time to bring up painful memories. He sighed, wondering when life had become so complicated.



He was lost in his meditations when the squawk of a bird disturbed him. He sniffled and turned, rubbing his nose on his sleeve. Kreacher was wheezing, standing by the door, clutching a letter. Silently, he held it out. Harry nodded his thanks and took it frowning. The only people who could contact him were Hermione and Madam Pomfrey, no one else knew where he was. He unfurled it and read.



In the mirror, his face registered shock, bewilderment, and joy.



Three hours later, Harry sat downstairs by the fire, the letter still in his hand. What should he do? He glanced up, as noise arrested him. "Pig!" he gasped, seeing the tiny owl pecking at the window. He let the animal in, took the letter, hoping it was somehow from Ginny, and began to read:



Dear Harry,



Ron says that Kingsley Shacklebolt has asked you and him to join the Aurors’ Office at the Ministry of Magic. Harry! You're only 17! I mean, I know it's a great honour, and obviously Kingsley wouldn't have written to ask you if he didn't think you were up to the training, but it's so dangerous! And Harry, you've just saved the wizarding world. You're a hero, well...you were always a hero to me, but haven't you had enough danger in your life? I don't want you to do this. I want you to come to the Burrow and so does Mum.



I've hardly seen you at all this summer, and you won't tell me where you are! I know Hermione knows where you are and what you're doing but she won't say either. What is going on that you can share with her but not tell me?



I don't mean to sound like a whinging nag, but Harry, I'm worried about you! You're not secretly already an Auror, are you? Off again doing something incredibly stupid but noble? I just miss you, Harry. It's hard having a boyfriend who's never around.



Please come to the Burrow.



Love,

Ginny



Harry sighed as he re-read the letter Pig had delivered earlier. He couldn't really blame Ginny for her feelings. She'd been more than patient with him for far longer than she should have had to be. It wasn't that he didn't want to tell her where he was and what he was doing. He did, he felt that she above anyone else would understand why he was doing this, why he had to do this. But Severus had made him promise to tell no one. Especially not any of the Weasleys. Not Ginny. Not Ron. None of them.



Ginny.



He let his mind wander back to the kiss she'd given him on his last birthday. That kiss had sustained him through the horrors that followed, given him strength and a reason to persevere in what he'd had to do. He felt a familiar pang in his heart.



She missed him.



And he missed her, too. Very much.



Harry suddenly got up and went to Severus' door, opening it just a tiny crack, and peeked in. The man was still on his bed, fast asleep. Harry quietly closed the door and went back into the living room, saying quietly, "Kreacher?"



Instantly the wizened elf appeared from the kitchen saying, "Yes, Master Harry? You called?"



"Yeah, Kreacher," he replied, "I have to go out for a bit, and I want you to look after Professor Snape for me. He's still sleeping, but he's going to need another dose of his potions when he wakes. Can you be sure he takes them? And reassure him I’ll be back soon?" Harry’s mouth twitched at Snape’s likely comment to finding out Harry would be returning.



"Certainly, Master Harry," the elf wheezed, "Kreacher will take best care of Master Snape for you."



"Thank you, Kreacher," Harry smiled, "I'll be back in a couple of hours."



Once outside at the apparition point Harry, with the image of the Burrow firmly in his head, turned on the spot and vanished.



Harry walked up the lane towards his favourite place in the world, and paused at the door, looking through the open top half and spotting Mrs. Weasley moving about her kitchen. He could only see her back, but, even as distracted as he was by thoughts of Ginny, he spotted the defeated slump of her shoulders. He cleared his throat to make her aware of his presence and she turned around, with a sad and distracted look on her face, which changed to a half-hearted smile at seeing him.



"Harry!" she said, "What a nice surprise! Come in, dear. Would you like some tea?"



"No thanks, Mrs. Weasley," he began, just eager to see Ginny, to hold her.



"Ron's not here, dear, " she said, "he's having tea with Hermione and her parents."



"I didn't come to see Ron," Harry replied, snickering to himself at the thought of Ron stuttering through tea with Hermione's muggle dentist parents, "I came to see Ginny."



Mrs. Weasley brightened instantly, a genuine smile blossoming over her careworn face. "She's upstairs, dear," she said warmly, flicking her wand and producing a pot of tea, the sugar bowl, a flowery cup and saucer, and a small pitcher of milk. "You sit, and I'll go get her."



"Erm....okay," Harry agreed with some amusement. Mrs. Weasley smiled at him affectionately and fairly sailed out of the kitchen.



A few moments later Harry could hear the sound of footsteps hurrying down the many flights of stairs overhead and stood up, his heart skipping crazily in anticipation. There was a flurry of auburn hair through the kitchen door and then suddenly his arms were full of Ginny.



He had missed her, keenly, but until that moment he hadn't realised just how keenly. She felt so good in his arms and he hugged her tightly, breathing in the flowery scent of her perfume, his head spinning pleasantly. His mind was suddenly transported back to his 6th year, his first day in Potions with Slughorn. The sensual smells coming from the simmering cauldron. Wooden broomstick handles, treacle tart, and......Ginny, his surprised mind realised. That pleasant realisation made him tighten his arms around her even more.



"Oh Harry," she breathed, her breath soft and warm against his neck. "I've missed you so much."



"I've missed you too," he murmured into her hair, "...really missed you, Ginny."



They stood there in their own little world, quietly revelling in being able to hold one another again until a contented sigh from the doorway broke through their reverie. They both turned, slightly surprised, and saw Mrs. Weasley standing with clasped hands beaming at them, her eyes suspiciously bright.



Harry relaxed his grip on Ginny, although he kept an arm around her slender waist. She turned towards her mother, a please leave! look on her face. Mrs. Weasley ignored that and said, "Harry dear, you must stay for dinner. Congratulations are in order after all, for both you and Ron."



"Oh...erm...thanks, Mrs. Weasley," Harry answered uneasily, feeling the girl tense at his side, and remembering why he was there, "but I really can't. I have to be getting back soon." Seeing Ginny's frown he added, "I just wanted to see Ginny and maybe take a walk." He nudged Ginny with his hip as he said it.



"Yes, let's," she said immediately, "a walk would be nice."



Mrs. Weasley smiled knowingly and said, "Of course. You'll want to catch up...."



Before she could say more Ginny had fairly hauled Harry out the door and across the garden.

Once they were out of earshot she turned to him and said, "I am happy to see you, Harry, more than you know, but I also want you to tell me the truth about where you've been and what you've been doing!"



Harry smiled down at her affectionately. He was so happy to be with her even her annoyance at him was wonderful. "You know, it's true," he said attempting to pull her into his arms again, "you are beautiful when you're angry."



"Harry!" she spluttered, pushing away, "I'm worried about you! You have joined the Aurors already, haven't you? You're off risking your life again, trying to save the world! You've already done it, Harry! You've fulfilled the prophecy, done your duty! You don't owe them anything else!"



Her fast-filling eyes and trembling lip both touched him deeply and made him feel guilty, and, truth be told, gave him a sort of satisfaction at knowing she cared so much. Ginny wasn't the sort of girl easily given to tears.



"Ginny, Ginny, hey..." he soothed, gathering her to himself. "Kingsley's written to ask me to join the Aurors, but I haven't done it yet..."



"Yet?!" She shrieked, looking up at him, "Harry!"



"Ginny," he said, "I haven't joined yet, no, but...it's what I've wanted to do ever since I found out what an Auror was. I know I'm only 17, but I'll be 18 soon, and I won't be going out on missions right away, there's a further three years training to get through first. They don't send you out if you aren't properly trained and prepared, and I'm lucky, Gin, to be asked by Kingsley himself, at my age, and especially since I didn't finish my 7th year."



"You defeated Voldemort," she sniffed, "I would hope that would carry more weight than finishing your 7th year would!"



He smiled and said, "Well, so you can see then, can't you? Especially as it's what I've always wanted to do."



She pulled away from him with a large sigh, and stood looking out over the garden, her arms crossed over herself.



"Come on, Gin," Harry cajoled, reaching out to gently rub her tense shoulders, "Don't be angry..."



She looked back at him, sighed pointedly, and said, "You're going to do this anyway, aren't you? Even if I don't want you to."



"I don't want you to be angry with me," he responded, sidestepping the question.



She gave him an exasperated look and shook her head. "You are. I know you are, because I know you. It’s something you feel you should do. And I won't stop you, because I would never stop you from doing something you really want to do, and you know that."



"If you really don't want me to, Gin, I won't," Harry said, meaning what he said, but he also knew what her reaction would be.



"Oh absolutely," she sneered sarcastically, "and then I can go the rest of my life knowing that I kept you from the only thing you ever really wanted to do. Yes, I'll be able to live with that hanging over my head alright! No thanks!"



"That's not the only thing I've ever wanted to do," Harry murmured, pulling her back into his arms and kissing her. When they broke for air, she turned her warm brown eyes up to fix upon him.



"This is one of those stupid, noble things you have to do......and I'm going to worry about you every step of the way," she said reproachfully, but her expression softened when she added, "but I won't stop you, Harry. I want you to be happy, and if this is what will make you happy, I'll be behind you all the way."



"Well then I can't go wrong, can I?" Harry smiled, kissing her again. "What would I do without you, Gin?"



"Good question, Harry," she countered, "I don't know. What have you been doing without me?"



Harry sighed, knowing this had been coming. It was, after all, what he'd come to talk to her about. He felt bad, knowing he’d promised Snape, but Ginny had the right to know. He owed her that much.



He clasped her hand and led her through the hedges and into the orchard, further from the house and any prying eyes or extendable ears. He found a comfortable spot under one of the trees and tugged her down to sit next to him.



Still clutching her hand, he took a deep breath and admitted, "Snape...Professor Snape. He's alive, Ginny."



Her brown eyes wide, she gasped, "What? But....I thought he died in the Shrieking Shack. That's what you went there for; why I found you there! How could he be alive?! You and Hermione said you saw him die; bleed to death when that hideous snake bit him! And the Shrieking Shack was burnt to the ground! That's what shocked you so badly!"



"I know," Harry replied, face full of remembered pain, "and at that time I did think he was dead and his body burned. After I woke up, Hermione told me the truth. After she and I saw Nagini bite him, and Voldemort leave him to die, we went to him, but it was too late. He was bleeding to death..." Harry shuddered at the horrific memory, "and…his thoughts and memories were pouring out of him along with his blood. He said to take them, and Hermione conjured a flask to catch them. Then...he grabbed my shirtfront and made me look at him, and then...he died."



Harry paused to get a grip on himself.



"I took the flask to the Head's office and put his memories into Dumbledore's pensieve, and that's how I found out he'd been in love with my mother, and that all these years he was on our side, spying for Dumbledore and reporting to the Order about Voldemort. All that was true. And he was protecting me all these years, making sure I stayed alive, sacrificing everything for me, Dumbledore, and because he loved my mother. The things Dumbledore made him do, Ginny!!”



She interrupted quickly, seeing his growing distress. “I know, Harry. Remember Ron and Hermione told me all about it, about Dumbledore begging so that Malfoy wouldn’t be a murderer, about you being tricked to see what you were meant to so that Snape was protected if the Dark Lord invaded your mind. I know all about everything, Harry.” She stroked his arm softly.



"Hermione didn't tell you all of it," Harry said and took a deep breath. "After the battle, the three of us went to the Head's office to talk to Dumbledore's portrait, and I told him everything, including what I saw in the pensieve, about Snape being in love with my mother his whole life. I noticed that Snape's portrait wasn't hanging in there, which it should have been, because he was dead, and I asked Dumbledore why it wasn't. He told me it was because Snape had abandoned his post as Headmaster, and I just got so angry. I'm still angry about it.”



Ginny tried to calm him, concerned at the growing fury she saw on his face. She understood his resentment, but could do nothing but let him speak, so she did, knowing it would help him.



“After all he did, everything he sacrificed, and they refused to let his portrait hang next to them because he abandoned his post when he didn't have a choice? Voldemort called, he had to go, to keep the side up, his cover, and that was Dumbledore's doing! It was so unfair, and I made up my mind that I had to do something for Snape, that I'd go and get his body and see him decently buried before the Death Eaters got hold of his body, and make sure everybody knew that he was the real hero, not me. And that's when you found me…” he stopped as Ginny finished for him:



“In the tunnel, without Snape’s body, and with the Shrieking Shack completely destroyed.” She nodded in understanding, “No wonder you were so upset.”



Harry agreed, letting his forehead touch hers for a moment. He loved this about Ginny, loved that they understood one another. He went on, “I didn't know then what Hermione had done. She has a time turner, Ginny, and when we were in the Head's office talking to Dumbledore, something he said or did made her remember she had it. See, we'd used it once before to go back in time and save Sirus and Buckbeak, and Hermione thought she could do the same for Snape, so she did. She went back to just after she and I had left the Shrieking Shack, and found Snape barely alive. He came to long enough to tell her to take her to his house in Spinner's End, near Manchester, rather than the infirmary, and so she did.”



A small smile lifted one corner of his mouth. “You know Hermione, she had loads of books with her when we were looking for the horcruxes, and she got some potions from Madame Pomfrey to help heal Snape. She called Kreacher to help too, and Snape himself, after he came to, was able to help her mix the right potions.



“I made her take me there, and then I made her leave, and that's where I've been and what I've been doing. Looking after him and helping him get well, Ginny, I have to. He saved my life so many times, he protected me all these years, he risked his own life for me, he sacrificed everything for me, and I can't not help him! I owe it to him, but it's not just that. He loved my mother, and I was so horrible to him all these years. I never trusted him even though Dumbledore told me he did, and that should have been enough! And he is a hero, Ginny, he's the real hero, not me. If it weren't for him, I probably wouldn't be here right now, and there's just no way I can not help him! You understand that, don't you?! You understand why I have to do this?! You..."



"Harry, Harry...it's alright, of course I understand," Ginny soothed gently, "I..I just can't imagine the things he must have suffered....and to be left to die like that...you and Hermione did the right thing." She pressed a kiss to his lips.



"But just helping him get better isn't enough, Gin," Harry said, "I have to clear his name. He'll never have a life otherwise, and he deserves one. He shouldn't have to hide the rest of his life, constantly be on the run, like Sirius was. I couldn't bear that."



"No," she said, "that wouldn't be right. That's no life. And what if the Death Eaters found out he was still alive? They'd hunt him down and murder him as a traitor to Voldemort."



"Right," Harry agreed firmly, "even after I get him cleared, and I will, no matter what it takes. That's also why I want to be an Auror, so I can hunt them down before they hunt him down. To protect him, like he did me. I owe him that. And there's another reason," he added quietly.



"Your mother," Ginny said rather than asked. She knew her Harry.



"He loved her....and he's the only one left," Harry murmured, "and....I....want him to know that....well, that I'm not exactly like my dad. I was horrible to him, I never gave him a chance, just like my dad, and I want him to know I realise I was wrong. And....it's difficult to explain, but I can't help thinking how awful it must have been for him protecting me all these years, even though he loved my mother, knowing I'm James' son."



Ginny nodded her understanding. "Yes, he must have really loved your mother to still protect you, knowing how much you look like your father.” She paused before saying suddenly, “I want to go with you, Harry. I want to go back to Spinner's End with you and help you look after him. I can help and we can be together."



"You'll be starting school soon," Harry pointed out, "and your parents would never let you come, you know that...."



"I don't want to go back to Hogwarts," Ginny said, "I love it, the school, but right now, there's too many bad memories there, and...you won't be there."



"I wouldn't have been anyway," Harry countered, neither of them mentioning the one person who was in their minds, the Weasley who hadn’t survived the battle.



“You have to finish your education."



"You didn't," Ginny shot back, unfazed, "neither did Ron or Hermione, and it didn't hurt any of you any. You've been asked to join the Aurors."



"Ginny," Harry sighed, putting his arm around her, "you have to finish your education, it's important and you know it. And as for coming with me to Spinner's End..."



"I know, I know," she said with her own sigh, "another noble thing you have to do. It’s just...I miss you so much, Harry, all the time. I understand why you finished with me before, even if I didn't like it, but..."



"But I'm not finishing with you, Ginny," Harry insisted, "and I never wanted to then, but I couldn't risk Voldemort hurting you again. When I came back to the Burrow for the wedding, it was all I could do not to run to you and hold you. That kiss you gave me for my birthday was what kept me going through everything, that and the thought that if I survived, I knew....you would be at the end of the journey." That wasn't exactly what he wanted to tell her, but this wasn't the moment.



"Oh you knew that, did you?" she smiled, eyes shining.



"Well, I hoped," Harry smiled back.



"Well, just so there's no more doubt," she said before she kissed him. "And seeing as it's nearly your birthday..." and kissed him again only this time it was like it had been then, and he eagerly returned it. He pulled her down onto the soft moss with him and they had several passionate minutes before they heard the voices of Mr. Weasley and Percy as they walked from the apparation point to the house.



Reluctantly Harry sat them up again and said, "I didn't realise it was so late, Ginny. I have to get back."



"You'd better say goodbye to Mum or she'll never forgive you," Ginny warned smiling, "don't worry, I won't let her keep you long."



They walked back to the house hand in hand, and Harry said reassuringly, "I'll try to visit more, Ginny, and I'll write and firecall you. I don't like being away from you, you know."



"It's going to be a long summer, and a horrible year at Hogwarts," she commented forlornly, "I really don't want to go back."



"I know, but...well, don't you think our kids should have at least one parent with a full education?" Harry said not able to hide the smile that thought brought.



She stopped and turned to look at him wide eyed and slightly open mouthed in wonder. They remained looking into one another's eyes, and Harry knew she understood he wasn't asking yet, but was serious nonetheless.



"Yes," she said softly, "yes, I do."



Holding hands, they walked out to the apparation point, and he kissed her again. Before turning to go, he pulled out the sheaf of parchment that was his letters to her, and handed them to her.



"What's this?" she asked.



"For you," he said, cupping her cheek in his hand, "you're never far from me, Ginny," and with that, he turned and apparated away.



---



By the way, if, at some point Ginny's eyes change to blue, let us know! We did change all of them (we think), but if we missed one, let us know! (God save the Lexicon!)