His

I pulled helplessly against my binds with no success of escape, definitely magic. I couldn’t remember everything from yesterday, just flashes, but as time went on things got clearer. I kept seeing Voldemort’s face and soon every part of him…doing things to me-and I was enjoying it! Draco…I couldn’t believe I even touched him! And all those followers, looking at me while I was in next to nothing! I really thought I could fight it but I just couldn’t!

The door opened slowly and a dark hair man came in, Snape. I looked at him in disgust still struggling against my bonds.

“So you’ve finally got over you ‘little spell’”

“fuck you! This is your fault! You gave him the potion! The first time I leave my prison I come to your place!”

“If I hadn’t it would have been my neck on the line”

“I don’t care! Im so humiliated! I fucked him and begged for more! Look at me! My dress is now just a piece of fabric held together by a few strands, and Im covered in cum and Merlin knows! Whatever I did yesterday I am never giving a repeat performance of!”, I shouted at a now sitting Snape next to me on the bed, “I bet you loved seeing me like this! I hate-…you-you didn’t touch me…I remember now…why didn’t you? You could of taken advantage of me like I guess many did…”. I was confused and stared at him curiously, he looked at me for he hadn’t looked into my eyes before this.

“You were my student once, no matter how much I detested you. Lets just say I wouldn’t get anything out of using and abusing you, your just a child in my eyes…”, he said quietly,

“That didn’t stop him-”

“You hate me, I know that but you should know I don’t hate you…as much anymore. You’re the cleverest witch of your age, the most powerful of the entire population but still you choose the light, you are strong but don’t overestimate you strengths. It wont last, especially under the dark lords watch”. He finished and got up, releasing me from my bonds. My limbs were aching and I struggled to get up for a moment, when I finally did I gave Snape a questioning look.

“I still don’t trust you, but thank you. I have a weird feeling about you, but I cant place it yet…”

“I understand, now I am to take you back to the dark lords chambers-”

“I hate him so much! Cant I just go home, Im growing tired of fighting him anymore, I don’t want to admit it…but Im losing the will to stand up for the light. They all think im against them, I just don’t know what to do anymore…”

“Miss granger, Hermione, do what you think is right, its your decision whatever your choice”

“Don’t tell anyone I said that, especially him”

He didn’t reply just gave me an old boot, I touched it and I was transported alone to Voldemort’s empty chambers. I rushed to the bathroom, ripped of what was left of my dress and jumped in the shower. I scrubbed my skin red raw for ages, I didn’t want any trace of him on me, then I felt my neck…what the hell is that? I got out and looked in the mirror for the first time since returning and saw the c glistening on my neck. Hasn’t he made it clear enough already who I belong to? I don’t even remember getting it, it made me feel like a real slave now, just what I wanted…I noticed a few hickeys/love bites on my body, especially my neck and breast-not exactly love bites more of hate-fuelled-with-lust-bites.

I tugged at my collar but it had no opening, it just went round my neck without an end, a buckle or anything! He better take it off soon, I don’t want to remember yesterday anymore!

A house elf was waiting for me next to the door of the bathroom, it bowed when I noticed it and came forward quickly.

“Master wants miss to wear dress! Master says shoes and underwear aren’t needed!”, it squeaked bowing lower than before, it handed me a piece of white clothes with golden thin rope like ties.

“I refuse! Tell him to go fuck himself!”, I cried throwing the ‘dress’ to the floor and walking out to the bedroom.

The house elf appeared in front of my holding the dress

“If miss wont wear them herself, Iddy will do it for her!”, it snapped its finger and the dress pulled itself over me, I moaned out of annoyance, “Iddy is sorry miss, but master wants you ready! Master wants to talk to miss then practise her skills!”. it left without another word, I stalked off to the mirror to get a better look at myself.

It wasn’t even a dress! Just two pieces of fabric held together by about four or five golden ropes belted around my body, it didn’t matter that the fabric fell to my feet, both sides of my body were on full view so it didn’t exactly hide much. My collar still hung tightly around my neck, still not budging, still I was without underwear. Yet another typical outfit given to me.

I didn’t want to see him but I was forced to, the imperio like curse he had on me had come into play and I was forced to go down stairs. He was there sitting on his throne looking at me thoughtfully, his wand locked in between his fingers.

“Ah, my Obscurus Angelus, my slave, my key…Your looking…nice today”, he stuttered a bit on the word nice, it wasn’t exactly a word what was in his head much, I stayed silent, glaring into his eyes. “I hope you enjoyed yesterday as much as I did, and a few of my followers liked you how you were as well!”, he was trying to tease me on purpose but I would say a word, my fists clenched tightly while I looked deep into his cruel eyes.
“I cant wait for when we next…get together…I know you would enjoy it, you seemed to be screaming my name a lot yesterday-”

“Whatever I did yesterday wasn’t real! So forget about me enjoying anything with you!”

“Ah you see that’s where your wrong, remember when you slept with me willingly? Without the need of a potion? Well you see, that lust potion was a normal lust potion for you when you were with other people, so you lusted for everyone! But when you were alone with me, you only wanted me, even with the Draco boy you were thinking of me. That’s how the potion works, it heightens the lust for the person you want most”

“You’re lying! Just another of your stupid ways of confusing me!”

“Why would I lie to you? I am lord Voldemort, I have no need to lie”

“Well your wrong! Your no lord of mine! You are just Tom Riddle!”, I screamed, wrong move, fury filled his eyes. I was hit with several madness filled Crucio’s lasting what seemed like hours, no matter how many times I had been hit with the curse, it didn’t make them anymore easier to take.

“You are also wrong, I am not Tom riddle…anymore, I am lord Voldemort, the most powerful of all! You will never repeat my birth name ever again! Is that clear enough for you?”, he asked in a voice in such a tone, it was like he could kill with it.

“Crystal”, I whimpered though clenched teeth as I stood up. He motioned for me to sit at a table filled with food, I ate slowly without looking at him.

“Good. As you know later today I take the potion Severus has been brewing for me, he will begin your occlumency lessons after this and I want to see if you’ve improved in your duelling, now lets begin!”.

A few hours later I was being healed for the hundredth time possibly, I did well, but no one could defeat the dark lord, I am no exception. He patted my head like a dog reminding me of my wretched collar.

“When can I be free of this collar?”

“Your sign of ownership?”

“No, I already have two of those remember, this is just a way to humiliate me, I don’t have a clue when and why you put it on but can you remove it?”

“Ah yes, your dark mark, but im confused about this other mark you talk of…”,he said gently, lightly brushing my left thigh as I stood up.

“Stop being sarcastic, those initials of yours scared onto my stomach forever more!”, I was getting so angry now

“No that was your doing, its just to give you some discipline”.

“How was it my doing!”

“You wanted to duel dirty so I gave you a curse you couldn’t handle. Simple as that. Now stop bickering with me, I don’t care for it. The collar isn’t removable by my own means, such as a spell etc.”, he started twiddling his wand like a lost school boy.

“then what?”, I asked impatiently.

“You must prove you don’t need a collar, do not ask me it can be something to keep you occupied. I must leave now, I take my potion later and will return to my former body!”

“I don’t care how you look, inside you still have a rotten core! don’t flatter yourself either, I bet your not even that good looking. Well I guess anything’s an improvement!”

“Im not going to torture you for that seeing as you lust after me like this how will you be then? but I think I might have to torture you if you don’t start calling me by my title…”

“Yes, master”

“I will be gone for a few days, a week at most, my body needs to recover from its new self. I wont be any weaker at these times, I will just need rest, being around you certainly wont aid that! Severus will be taking your lessons in that time”

“I understand master, Erm can I ask something?”, he nodded slightly, “Why do you always use Snape? He may be a bit overworked…”

“He has skills in most aspects of my work, he is useful. Ill keep that in mind. Im going to reward you for the pleasure you brought me yesterday, I think the daily prophet every morning should be good enough, you can see how life is outside of these walls”.

“Thanks master, but I have a request, can I see someone other than your followers? Just a friend of mine for just an hour even, please if I don’t im going to go mad! The last time I saw any of my friends I sentenced one to death…please master…”, I said slowly, my voice almost a whisper, I knew it was unlikely but it was worth a try.

“Ok”, my head shot up, did he just say ok? “We can go now, take my arm”

“Wait a second! Why are you doing this?”, I asked quickly while he pulled me over to hold onto his arm

“Mr potter and a few other order members are at the burrow, repairing the damage, removing the bodies and whatever…don’t look shocked, just because im the dark lord doesn’t make me attack like some animal at every given opportunity!”

“But why did you agree so…easily!”

“No important reasons, one of them is that its my last chance for the order to see me before my body changes, it could be a bit of a going away party”, he said sarcastically, it was so weird when he was sarcastic, “the body change is another part of my plan…”. I held on to his arm and we apparated to the remains of the burrow.

It was the same as we left it, just it had collapsed a bit, I could see a few shadows inside, moving about, moving things…moving corpses…

“I cant do this”, I whispered

“You can and you will, you requested to see them, and I don’t go back on things!”, he cast a protective spell and another spell I never heard before on me and motioned for me to go forwards, “You cant go out of 10 metres of me, they cant physically harm you in any way but you can feel pain. So im allowing you to go in alone, as long as you remember them three points”.

“Yes milor-master…!”, I quickly said, I turned towards the house bracing myself and then walked forwards. I slowly pushed open the blood stained door, a cold breeze hit my body and a feel of death sent shivers up my spine-a far cry from its usual warmth and love inside. I gently pushed the door further forward and crept in, I thought it was empty until I felt a wand pressing against the back of my neck.

“Who is this? An unlikely random entrance or a death eater in disguise possibly…”, it was mad-eye, I recognized his voice from fourth year. I turned around slowly showing him my face, his eyes widened in shock but then flicked his wand, calling everyone else in the burrow to come over. Harry, Ron, Shaklebolt and Dumbledore came forward, all looking shocked with their wands pointing at me.

“Hermione, what a pleasant surprise!”, Dumbledore said as if I had just popped back from holiday,

“We cant trust her Dumbledore, we don’t know if its really her, could be an ambush of some kind…even if it is her how can we trust her?”, mad-eye said from behind me, still his wand at my neck.

“Please, its really me! I haven’t got time, I don’t know how long but its not going to be long!”, I cried, pleading with my eyes for them to trust me, “Im here because I wanted to see you all! I understand you probably all hate me but you must believe me I had no choice about Ginny…it was either her or both of you Ron!”.

“Don’t ever talk to me directly you evil bitch!”, Ron snarled, he seemed so different but I understood why.

“Ask me anything please, let me prove to you im not on his side!”

“How can we trust her Dumbledore?”, mad -eye asked not taking his eyes off me.

“As it happens I always keep a spare Veritaserum on me always, you never know when it would come in handy”, Dumbledore replied taking a small clear bottle out of his inner robe with a smile, he was unusual but clever at the same time. “No miss Granger, I understand how your feeling but you must understand that we need the truth”.

“I understand professor”, he poured the liquid into my throat, he waited a few minutes for the potion to work. It felt so strange, I couldn’t control what ever I wanted to say, I couldn’t talk…

“First things first Miss Granger, why are you here?”

“I requested to see my friends”, was all I could say.

“Why would Voldemort allow that?”

“He rewarded me with some daily news, I refused because id prefer to see my friends or id go mad. The only people I ever see is his followers or himself, don’t you understand that?”.

“Yes miss Granger its understandable. Now, have you in any way aided the Voldemort in his plans?”

“That’s hard to say, the fact that im his slave does help him, but I have not aided in anything against the light that im aware of”

“Even under a truth potion I don’t trust her! Look at all her marks! What are they, love-bites? Disgusting! And a collar around her neck like some dog! Have you had consensual sex with him then?”, Harry shouted, he looked so angry.

“The collar was a punishment, I don’t know what I did to receive it, it can only be removed once I prove I don’t need a collar. And for the majority of my stay no, even Lucius malfoy raped me but he was killed for that-”

“Malfoy senior is dead?”, Dumbledore ask curiously, when I nodded he nodded in what seemed like lost thought.

“So you have had sex with him willingly?”, Harry spat at me

“Yes once willingly, plus yesterday I was tricked into taking a lust potion, I have no idea what my actions were. I have little memory of it, just I keep seeing his face…”, a few tears ran down my cheek as I heard Harry and Ron mutter some insults at me.

“Im sorry Miss Granger, but we must move on…do you know what his plans for you are?”

“Only that he wants to use me to defeat the light, I don’t know how, but he’s trying to train me in the dark arts”

“Ok miss granger, one last question…is there good and evil in the world?”

“No, only power and those to weak to seek it-”, I quickly covered my mouth in shock, no! I don’t think that!

“I knew it! She is a traitor! Lets take her down to the order now an really interrogate her!”, mad-eye shouted, he hit me with a stupefy but I rebounded off of me. “Oh so now she’s protected!”

“She’s betrayed all of us! I cant take this anymore! If she’s got a protective charm on her there’s only one way to break it! CRUCIO!”, Harry shouted the one thing I never thought he would shout at me. Halfway through saying the curse, I felt magic spreading though me, the curse hit me but didn’t affect me at all. I felt anger I had never felt before flow in me, I returned the curse and Crucioed Harry until Dumbledore froze me. Harry was shaking on the floor and everyone was either staring at me in shock or helping Harry.

“Miss Granger, its too late for you now”, Dumbledore told me

“No! Im sorry! He cursed me first! I-I just want you to help me…”

“I wish I could”, Dumbledore replied sadly

“How touching, it’s a shame your little reunion didn’t go so well”, Voldemort mocked from behind me, he just apparated with no warning as usual. The whole order pointed their wands at him nervously, he pulled me to him tightly.

“It was a mistake coming here Tom”, Dumbledore said calmly

“I haven’t done anything wrong have I? I just brought my slave to see her so called friends…it was your order who attacked first”, he was right he hadn’t actually done anything wrong yet, surprisingly. “Don’t try to attack me, you know you will just fail, now if you don’t mind we need to go, I am busy”.

“Tom, you ruined that girls life”

“No, she still fights me in support of your pathetic people, its just your to naïve to see that. Its you who ruined her life, if you trusted her like she wanted maybe you wouldn’t of lost her-”, I cut into his sentence by turning and putting my fingers to his lips.

“I don’t support you master, but I cant fight for an order who wont fight for me. I don’t want to be your prisoner but I also don’t want to be with the order anymore, now I know they didn’t help me when I needed it most”. I spoke words I never thought id say, but realisation hit me that I was right.

“Evil death eater whore!”, Ron shouted at me, I hit him with a minor crucio but he still screamed in so much pain, I didn’t even realise I was doing it. I quickly removed the curse and collapsed to the floor in shock.

“What’s happening to me?”, I gasped, I didn’t want to be doing this!

“Miss granger im sorry, I should of tried to help you earlier on, now its to late”, Dumbledore apologised, I didn’t care, I didn’t want apologies I wanted help!

“No its too late for you, I however have forever!”, Voldemort smirked and took my arm, we apparated without warning to his chambers.
“You have proved to me you don’t need your collar, its gone. You will succumb to the darkness”

I was collapsed on the floor crying, I had no idea what to do.

“Crying wont change a thing so stop wasting my time! Your still being affected by the truth potion, it should last a few more minutes…this should be entertaining!”. no!
“do you want power?”

“yes”

“Do you want to go home?”

“…no”

“where do you want to be?”

“I don’t know, I don’t want to go back but I want to be free”

“Ok the, do you hate me?”

“No”, I said simply, but that just wasn’t true I do hate him!

“Why not?”

“You are intelligent, powerful and skilful. I respect you for all of that, you are always in control and you’ve taught me great things. I should hate you for your sadistic ways, but I hate your sadistic ways not you. When you show some rare affection for me, it makes me feel good even though I don’t believe it, I don’t know what I feel for you but its certainly not hate…anymore”. I didn’t want to say them things, I didn’t even know I felt that way! Voldemort looked a bit shocked, but then nodded and apparated without warning.

Why did I have to say all that? that’s not how I feel! I do Hate him! What do I do now? Im hated by all my friends, I’ve admitted I don’t hate the dark lord and im still stuck here once again, alone with no one and pathetic. At least the degrading collars gone, but I don’t get how I got rid of it…

“How’s the dark lords pet doing today then?”, Draco. Just what I need…“What? No response? You seemed to be using your mouth a lot more yesterday-”, I silenced him with the magic Voldemort forgot to take away from me, I didn’t even realise I still had it until now.

“Yes Malfoy, but you seem to forget I was under the lust potion, in reality I wouldn’t touch you with a 10ft long broomstick!”, I snarled and sat down on the armchair quite happy with myself, Draco removed the silencing spell from himself with his wand.

“You little bitch! How dare you use magic against me! You will pay!”

“How exactly?”

“You’ll see. Also for getting me punished yesterday, it was you who touched me! Anyway seeing as your distracted because in love with the dark lord it should be easy-”

“What! Where the hell did you get that idea!”, great rumours are spreading and they aren’t even true!

“I heard what you said to him”

“If you were listening you would of heard me tell him I don’t hate him, there isn’t only hate and love in the world malfoy”

“When you finally do admit your love for him, remember he doesn’t feel love, he will only reject and humiliate you-probably torture you a bit while he’s at it…”

“Fuck off! I don’t love him! I don’t give a fuck what he or you or anyone does to me anymore! And I just want to leave this prison!”, I screamed, he just smirked, “Stop smirking at me! Im sick of people using that expression in front of me!”

“Its just funny, golden girl Gryffindor is finally defeated by the dark lord”

“Get lost, go torture some poor defenceless muggle or whatever you usually do!”

“You know, I would but I have to stay here. The dark lord asked me to watch over you for a few hours, im not really into babysitting but for you I made an exception”.

“I don’t need someone to watch over me I’ve had enough experience being alone here!”, I walked out to the bathroom an banged the door shut behind me. I locked the door with a few charms knowing he wouldn’t be able to break them if he tried and went straight to the library door, there was a note. I walked into the library and sat down while reading it.

I left the library open for you while im away, anything in there is open for you to learn and read about.
The balcony is open if you need some fresh air, you know you cant escape the gardens so im not worried about you trying to escape. When I return, I will be more disciplined on you, lately I haven’t treated you as harshly as I should, be prepared for it.

What! The bastard! Not treated me as harsh as he should? He’s got to be having a laugh!

No. im not doing this anymore, I’ve had enough with these mind games, these stupid things! I have nothing to lose…
I wrote a note on the back of his and folded it under one of the belts on my dress so it was secure. I walked up to the double doors leading to the balcony and pushed them open, a cool summer breeze swept across my body, it felt so nice, so fresh.

The balcony was beautiful, flowers and chairs covered it, it was so unlike him. I walked slowly to the wall of it and sat on the ledge, looking down I could see a long drop, not to long but it should be higher enough. I sled my legs over so they were hanging gracefully over the edge, the summer breeze felt so nice, it was midday and the sun was shining against my skin, warmth, something I hadn’t really felt for so long.

Closing my eyes tightly with a smile, I fell. Like Alice down the rabbit hole, I fell into darkness, the unknown, I was free.

Lying on my lifeless body was the crumpled up note, spotted with blood.
I don’t want this anymore, I never did. I wont help you, you always knew that but you still tried, I don’t know why but if you ever do get what you want, grant me one wish, keep my parents alive and make them forget me, I don’t want them to feel my torment. Please.
I have nothing to live for, prove me wrong.


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Thanks for your reviews! Oh by the way the story isn’t finished! And don’t worry about Hermione, but I think you can guess why not…well of you cant wait till next chapter!