Fighting For My Love And Right

First planned to upload this chapter around New Year, but the chapter was just a mess, I hated how it went and how it ended. It took me 20 extra days to rewrite the whole thing, but I like how it’s now, it’s going in the same direction I wanted it and is not a crap chapter that would surly make everyone not wanting to read it anymore.
Thanks to those that review, and to those that read it. My deadline for the next chapter is next month, I hope to finih it sooner, but I’ll see how fast I can get it done.


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Harry woke up the next morning and weakly remembered a bright flash; he couldn’t recall his dream but was sure it was nice since he felt relaxed as he woke up.

He slowly sat up to look at the clock; it was six in the morning. Since he didn’t feel at all tired he sat up silently and gathered his things before he left for the bathroom. A shower; or maybe a bath would be good right now.

The temperature in the bath tub was perfect, and it seemed to be the right amount of bubbles around him, he couldn’t be happier at the moment. Everything would be just great if he wasn’t thinking about Draco and the day he accidentally went under the water. All his thoughts wondered back to that day that seemed ages ago. He could still remember Draco’s soft skin, and the smell, and his eyes. Thinking about Draco made him get up from the bathtub after only ten minutes; he couldn’t enjoy himself there when he didn’t know where Draco was, or if he was in good health. Lucius Malfoy was not pleased about what had happened at all, Harry only hoped that the spell backfiring wouldn’t be taken out on Draco. With mixed feelings he quickly walked down to the main hall, the only thoughts he had was about what he would do to Lucius Malfoy if he even lay his finger on Draco.

He stopped to breathe; there was no point in getting himself all worked up at the moment. The chance for him finding Draco, or even Lucius was so small that he would need a telescope to see it. He continued down the stairs when he was sure his feelings wouldn’t spill out by even the wrong comment by anyone.

The main hall doors opened up and Harry found himself all alone. They were probably all sleeping since it was Sunday, even teachers didn’t bother to wake up this early. In a way Harry was happy he was alone, no one to look at him or come over and try to make a conversation.

After a tasty breakfast he went back up to the common room and found his broom, it seemed to be a nice day so maybe a spin outside would be good for him, even if Pomfrey forbid it.

Most of his rage was taken out racing with the wind, he felt so alive and happy for a short moment; that was before Draco came back into his mind. While he was flying by the forest he felt some kind of strange magic, he turned around to see if someone was around him, but there were no one out, Harry didn’t think anyone was awake either. It quickly hit him that it could be one of the spells put on the school. The magic felt stronger when he got closer to the forest, it must be protecting something in there, or the school. Harry’s conclusion was that it was the pregnancy that gave him this power, it wasn’t a skill any wizard or witch would have; Harry wasn’t even sure any pregnant woman had skills he slowly possessed.

He often thought about what happened to him that day that he became pregnant, and who could have raped him. The strangest thing was that he didn’t think he was raped, it surly didn’t feel like that since he couldn’t remember anything. In one way he had accepted it, the rape was something that helped him stay alive, and give life to someone else, so it couldn’t be all that bad. If he did remember what had happened he might not think at all about the positive things the pregnancy has given him, he would surly ask for a potion as quickly as he found out.

Harry flew a couple rounds around the castle, made sure he wouldn’t close up on any window where he could be seen. As much as he tried to think happy thoughts and not about Draco the worse he felt about not trying to think off a way to help him. But whenever he tried to think about a way to find Draco he didn’t get far, he only came up with save him, that poor plan made him angry with himself. The one he loved was probably in danger and he was riding his broom trying to enjoy life.

When he was sick of flying he walked around on the school ground, ignoring everyone he met that had woke up, they were like ghosts for him. The only thing he could think off was how stupid and careless he was, how he couldn’t think of any plan to help Draco, he hated himself.

Harry didn’t know for how long he was drifting like that, but suddenly he stopped up and felt too tired to move forward, so he turned around and walked over to his the Gryffindor tower, heading straight for his bed. It was welcoming and comforting from the first second he la down on it, and soon fell into a deep sleep with no worries.

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He woke up and realized that it was the next day, someone was in the room and making a lot of noise; it was Dean who was looking true his trunk for something. Harry quickly got up and went over to the bathroom before returning to the bed again. When he couldn’t sleep again he sat up and called on Dobby, he was hungry and wanted to eat without having to go down to the main hall. The house elf came back with more food than Harry would get from his relatives the whole summer, but he actually ate more then he thought he could manage.

After the big breakfast he decided on a quick walk around on the school, maybe it would make him relax more easily. He realized that he wasn’t doing anything at all, just drifting around like a ghost, but he didn’t see any reason for doing anything as long as Draco was gone. After a short walk he went back to his bed to sleep again, nothing interesting could happen anyway.

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The third day he didn’t even bother getting up from bed. He didn’t notice it before but he was still wearing the same clothes as he was on Sunday, the only thing he didn’t have on was his shoes that he had somehow kicked off. Dobby came with a tray with food at one point that morning, Harry quickly glanced over at the food before closing his eyes; it didn’t seem good at all.

Sometimes he would be half awake, he could then hear his room mates walk around in the bedroom, but he didn’t want to wake up so he continued with his sleep. And other timer he felt himself be shaken and called on, but they never woke him up since he went straight to sleep again.

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‘Harry, wake up, please.’ Harry felt himself be dragged from the dream; he tried to go to sleep again; there was no point in getting up. ‘Don’t you dear go back to sleep. Wake up or I’ll kiss you.’ Harry wasn’t sure who was talking to him, but it surely wasn’t Draco, and he didn’t want to kiss anyone besides Draco. He was shaken once more, harder this time. When his eyes were open enough to see who was brutally waking him up he could see Ginny.

‘Go away.’ The word barley made their way out, but Ginny heard him.

‘Wake up; this is no way to act only because you lost your man, I know all about it. Now get your lazy ass up from the bed, six days is way too much to be sleeping, even for you.’ Harry didn’t think he heard right, six days, how could it be possible? ‘Come on now, a shower first and new and clean clothes. Why didn’t you change into your pyjamas at least?’ Harry found himself be lead by Ginny from his bed to the shower where she gave him a towel; she then pushed him the last time before closing the door behind him. Harry didn't know what to do besides obey her; slowly he undressed himself before walking under the water that seemed to be the right temperature and cleaning himself.

When he was done in the shower he found clean clothes on a bench waiting for him, he had to remember to thank Ginny for what she was doing for him. But he really wanted to go to his bed again, what was the point in staying awake when the one he cared about was gone?

Ginny was waiting for him outside the door; she seemed pleased with herself when Harry came out clean and awake.

'Now we must get you some food. Breakfast is over but I bet Dobby won't mind finding something for you.' She took his hand and dragged him up to the common room that was empty before calling Dobby.

While he slowly ate she talked about what had happened the days he spent in his bed, nothing really interested him but he could at least listen to her.

Luna and she had apparently got straight O’s on the last three exams, transfiguration, DADA and potions. Harry tried to smile as he congratulated them but the smile seemed to hurt more than talking did.

‘What has happened Harry? Why are you doing this to you?’ Harry didn’t want to talk to Ginny about what had happened, but he couldn’t keep it hidden from her. He slowly started to tell her, and he even trusted her so much that he told her about the Cruciatus curse and what Malfoy said. If Harry should chose now who he would tell these things to between Ginny and Hermione he thought it would be Ginny; she didn’t jump over to him and started to tell him about how he had to report it. Ginny sat there without saying a word for five seconds before asking him what he wanted to do about it; Harry was pleased with her simple answer with a question, it made him feel like he was important and not a boy that couldn’t take care off himself like Hermione made him feel.

Ginny told him that Ron and Hermione thought it was their faults he was sleeping for days, because they have been spending their time together and didn’t see him that often. Ginny had even talked to others that thought it was their faults, even the ones in the other houses. Knowing that people thought they might be the reason for his absence was flattering, he thought nobody cared about what he was doing now that Voldemort was dead.

Harry felt much better after a couple of hours, and it was all because of Ginny. But she couldn’t spend her whole day with him, she had to go and meet Luna to practice for their upcoming exam. After making sure Harry was fine and made him promise not to go to bed again Ginny left, her push that day had been more than enough for him to stay awake.

As soon as she was gone he thought about what he wanted to do, he promised to not go to bed before bedtime so he had to find something to occupy his time with. Maybe visiting someone, Hagrid, or Dumbledore maybe, then he could get some answers to what had happened.

Of course Dumbledore wasn’t in his office, he never was when Harry needed him, or when he needed some answers that probably only he could give. Maybe this was the fifth year repeating itself, Dumbledore ignoring Harry because it was for the best. Of course he saw in the end that it was a mistake, maybe he forgot about how it had ended, he was after all getting older.

‘Hey potato head!’ Harry took one last deep breath before turning around to face the two baboons that has still not learned to not mess with him.

‘What you stupid matching set of asses.’ It took them a few seconds to figure out his comment, they were hopeless without Draco; not that Draco would ever be like them again.

‘Don’t you dear talk to us like that, when Malfoy gets back he will make sure you’ll pay for it.’ Harry wanted to laugh and tell them that Draco loved him so he would never do anything to hurt him, but he wasn’t stupid. ‘Hex him Crabbe.’

‘No, you do it.’ First now did Harry notice that their wands has been half way pointed at him, and he was sure it was because they were too afraid to face him unprotected. Goyle raised his wand a few inches and muttered a spell Harry didn’t know. He could see the dark pink colour exit the wand tip before it surrounded him, just then did he remember that he didn’t have his wand with him. He was sure the spell would hurt because in the next moment he saw the two Slytherin’s fall down screaming like pigs, and that surly drew attention their way.

Harry’s first instinct was to run before anyone could see him but he couldn’t move at all, he was shocked by what was happening in front of him. It seemed like their eyes would just pop out any moment, of course it was only because they didn’t close them and screamed louder than the mermaid voice on land. Three persons were now surrounding the screaming boys. Harry quickly saw that it was teachers, and he was sure they all thought it was he that had cursed them; he stood unharmed next to them while they were screaming like pigs. The students that was awake and found their way over there was standing and looking at the whole thing, but none of them said a word.

‘Potter, what did you do? What spell did you use? Tell me Potter.’ Harry didn’t know what to say, he was too shocked to do more beside stand there an open his mouth. McGonagall walked over to him with a worried look, it seemed like she wanted to grab him and shake him till she got an answer; but she didn’t touch him. Harry wasn’t sure if that was because she might be afraid he would curse her or because the pregnancy, he only knew that she didn’t want to touch him.

‘Potter, come with me.’ A dark voice reached their attention, Snape was standing behind Harry. ‘Minerva, I suggest you give them milk and a hot bath, that should clear most of the pain by the spell, later give them some herbal tee with honey. Potter.’ Snape turned around and walked downwards to his dungeon, Harry could do nothing besides following him. Just before he turned the last corner he noticed the students standing and watching him, this was like the second year with the chamber of secrets, why was history repeating itself? As soon as the dungeon door closed behind Harry he saw a chance to say something to Snape.

‘I didn’t do anything professor, I swear.’ At least he didn’t interrupt Snape‘s shouting for harming two of his Slytherins.

‘I know you didn’t Potter.’ Harry wasn’t sure he heard right, was it Snape speaking or was it all a delusion, maybe he was still in shock from what happened with the baboons. ‘Sit down Potter.’ A chair appeared in front off him, without arguing he sat down; it could be a trap, but he had extra power to protect himself, Snape couldn’t harm him.

‘You’re not gonna shout?’ Harry had to be sure he heard right, he still didn’t think Snape hadn’t screamed yet.

‘Potter, compared to the others I saw what happened.’

‘That would never have stopped you before; a reason to harass me is always something you grab while laughing like an evil bastard.’

‘Do you want me to shout at you?’ Harry could see that he had almost stepped over the line; apparently Snape wasn’t in a mood to argue. ‘Even if I didn’t see what happened I would not assume you did it since you had no wand with you. And I also know you have no idea what spell was used, only followers of The Dark Lord knows that one, and they are the only one capable of teaching it to others, and none of his followers would be so stupid to teach you. But I would like to know how it did not affect you at all.’ Harry couldn’t tell him about the extra powers he discovered he had, that would be like telling the enemy about his plan; it was a stupid thing to do, even if Snape hadn’t shouted yet.

‘I can’t tell you.’

‘Potter, tell me or I’ll make sure you won’t see what you want the most.’

‘What?’ Harry wasn’t sure what Snape was talking about, but he could surly not know what he wanted the most.

‘Malfoy Potter, I assume he is the one you want to see most off all.’

‘How?’ How could Snape ever find out about Draco?

‘Your little Weasley friend came to me all worried about you, she knew that Malfoy was gone and that I might know something about what had happened.’ The pain Harry felt in his chest by the knowledge of betrayal, how could Ginny ever do that to him? He didn’t have words for Snape, Ginny was the only thing he was thinking about, how could she? Snape must have seen that he was shocked because he continued with a softer tone. ‘You can trust her, and me Potter, I am not the careless Death Eater you believe I am; I have been fighting for the good side a long time.’

‘To bad you fucked up at first, isn’t it?’ Snape knew exactly what Harry was heading for, passing on the information about an equal to Voldemort so he killed his family.

‘If you want to open up old wounds then go ahead, I am sorry that I am the one responsibly for your parents death and for you growing up in that magic hating family you call relatives. But I am not in the mood for fighting right now. So if you will please tell me what you did so the spell wouldn’t harm you.’ That was the first time Harry had heard Snape apologize and ask nicely, it was surely not Snape.

‘Who are you?’

‘What?’

‘Who are you?’

‘What are you playing at Potter?’

‘You aren’t Snape, he would never be this nice to me.’

‘What about the night Pettigrew escaped? Do you remember how Remus became a werewolf, and how I foolishly tried to hide you and your little up to no good friends behind me after you knocked me unconscious?’ Harry knew for sure it was Snape now, but this was far from the Snape he knew. ‘Do you want more?’

‘No.’

‘Then tell me, you can thrust me.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Then I will keep Malfoy from coming back to school.’ That was a threat he really didn’t like. Maybe he could trust Snape, it didn’t seem like he wanted to harm him, and if he tried to hex him he would pay for it.

‘I think it’s because of the pregnancy, it’s giving me an extra power or something like that. I think that was what protected me when I was facing Voldemort, but I don’t remember anything from what happened then so I can’t be sure.’

‘I can believe it was the pregnancy, the killing curse had almost the same effect as the spell had on you today, only that it seemed to take forever before it ended with the Dark Lord, maybe because the spell was more powerful.’

‘I have gotten stronger. What happened to me that day when I was facing him?’ Harry wasn’t sure how Snape would react if he said Voldemort, maybe it would snap for him.

‘The Dark Lord summoned you with an ancient hidden and forgot spell, it’s meant to bring something back that is lost, but the owner must have some kind of connection with what is lost. As you know you and the Dark Lord have a connection, so it was possible for him to summon you. The spell had never been used on humans, so we didn’t know how it would end. When you came you had no idea who you were or what was happening, you had a memory loss. The Dark Lord was amused, and played with you for quite a while, but stopped when he suddenly felt something; I can only assume it was your extra power that backfired the spell. Dumbledore told you what happened afterwards, you were both consumed in a light, by the killing curse of course, and then you were both gone.’ Snape glanced over at Harry, he wasn’t sure if it was the right time to ask a question so he sat still. ‘If you want, and allow me to then I can go into your mind and try to see if I can find out what happened afterwards.’

‘But that hurts.’ That he worried about the pain rather than Snape trespassing into his privacy was shocking; maybe he didn’t worry about him taking advantage of him after his moment of good.

‘Not if you allow me.’

‘You won’t abuse your power?’ There was a short pause, and Harry really didn’t like it at all.

‘No.’ He wasn’t sure if he should believe him, he was a Slytherin after all, and had always been mean to him. But there was something telling him to relax, and that feeling has been right before, so it must be right this time too. Snape walked around the desk and stood now right behind him, Harry wanted to get out of the chair when Snape rested one hand on his temple and his wand touched the other side. ‘Relax, I won’t abuse my power.’

The next thing Harry could see was Ginny, it had already started. Every memory went backwards fast; he saw his ride on the broom, Lucius Malfoy, Snape stopped up there a short second. ‘Well done Potter.’ Harry wanted to laugh; hearing Snape tell him that making Lucius Malfoy pay was well done was amusing and scary at the same time. His memories continued, and he was happy Snape didn’t take a short brake when he reached Draco, everything seemed to go quicker whenever Draco was in the picture; Snape was actually a decent guy.

From time to time he saw nothing but white light that reminded him about his dreams; and that was mostly the times he had his blackouts. The same happened during the period when Voldemort died, everything was white. When the light was over he saw himself in the main hall, he didn’t have any memory at all about how Voldemort died. Snape stopped and took one step back.

‘You may go. And I will try and see how soon I can get Malfoy back at school.’ Harry got himself up from the chair and turned against Snape, his vision of the man was completely changed. Snape was back in his chair when Harry was closing the door; he could see the potion master smile lightly. The first thing Harry wanted to do was open the door again and ask what was so funny, but he knew he would have the chance later on. What could he be smiling about? Was it about Lucius Malfoy? Or Draco? Was Snape laughing because he was having an affair with the blond? He was so close to turn around and go back; he didn’t like that people was making fun of him and his decisions in who he wanted to love.

‘Harry, are you all right?’ Ginny was looking down at him from the floor above, seeing her reminded him about what she had done.

‘How could you tell him?’ She wanted to say something but he had walked away from her, not turning around when she called on him. He needed some time to think, she wasn’t what he was angry at, but she was the only thing he had at the moment to shout at. He would apologize to her later on of course, but at the moment he had to find something to release his anger at.