Lacerations of the Soul

Hermione was tossing and turning her sleep the light was streaming in the windows when she woke. She’d had a horrible night, plagued with dreams of disasterous things, and death. She kept replaying her mother and father’s demise, and then switching to seeing Severus’ tortured, and a name was on her lips… Davina Morgan… Whatever the fuck that meant.

She sat up bolt right in the bed, her heart ached as she slipped from the covers, wearing a thin satin camisole and a pair of pink knickers to match. She didn’t expect Severus to be home yet, but the hope was still alight with in her.

Imagine her surprise when she walked into the kitchen and heard a resounding pop behind her. She turned around quickly, her hair a mess from sleep, the ringlets bouncing every which way. “SEVERUS!” She raced towards him careful not to hug him, in case he might be hurt badly. “You made it back! Are you ok? Sit sit! Let me check you over, I don’t want you to have any pain at all, and when I’m through with you you’ll feel like a new man!”

“I’m fine Hermione, honestly.” She forced him to sit at the table, and he did so with a sigh and a grimace. It had been a short cruciatus but it did leave certain undesirable effects. He had a raging hard on, that hadn’t went down in the hours after his dispersal from the Dark Lord’s throne. That wasn’t the only after affect however, his head was splitting with the start of a migraine, and he needed a pepper up potion as quickly as possible.

His limbs ached, but not as badly as they had before, and for the first time in a long time he didn’t need medical attention for blood loss. It was an uneventful night, as far as pain goes.

“You don’t look fine, Sev… You look like death won over. You have dark circles under your eyes, your paler than normal, and you are shaking. Let me go get you a few potions.” The sound of her bare feet padding against the marble tile floor caused a smile to worm its way onto his face. He could get used to having the woman around.

“Here drink this love.” Her eyes went slightly wide at her choice of words, “Did I just call him love? OH god, he’ll think I’m a bloody tart! I can’t possibly love him yet, but it is just an expression normally… Perhaps he’ll think that that’s all it is.. I hope.”

“What is this?” He knew, oh yes as a potions master he knew exactly what each potion was,(and after all he’d brewed all of the potions in his stores) but he wanted to make sure that she knew what she was giving him.

“Sev, I know you know what they are, just take the bloody pepper up potion and pain potion, oh I added something to the pain potion that will enhance the flavor as well as help with the shakes.” Severus’s eyes went wide.

“You can not tell me that you added something to an already created potion and hope that it will not have adverse effects! I thought that surely you would have listened in potions at some point.” He was beside himself, now he knew he couldn’t take the bloody thing.

“Well of course not! I brewed them up myself! If you would have thought back to your abrupt leaving, you would have realized that your stores are warded to your signature. However your supplies are not. I merely made them from scratch, and don’t worry I know they work, I’ve used them and not had any qualms before, Pomfrey actually started using some of my pain potions last year, because the taste was so much more pleasant.” She huffed back. “Now drink the god damned potion before I pour it down your bloody throat!”

She turned on her heel with tears in her eyes. It was as if he wouldn’t believe that she was capable of anything, she felt that the other night meant nothing, and that there would never be another moment. Everything began to crash down around her, the worry of the night before, the hours she spent slaving over a hot cauldron to have these very potions ready for him when he returned, and the now diminished hope that they could at least talk of what transpired the night before, much less continue on.

She crumpled in an oversized chair in her library, curled up in the fetal position and wished to God or whatever the bloody hell was interfering in her life that they would just leave her the FUCK alone.

She was still crying silently, sniffling not so silently, when Severus found her. “Mione, look… I … I wish I … well…” Damn apologizing was hard for the man, he wasn’t sure he’d ever even done it before. “Look, I wasn’t thinking of how you would feel, I didn’t know that my stores were locked and warded, I haven’t even thought of them the entire time we’ve been here, and I mean seriously it’s only been what two three days at the most?”

“You think I’m an idiot!” She cried as a sob escaped her lips.

“No, I do not, I think you are an exceptional bright witch, I think that you will be a wonderful whatever you choose to be one day, and I appreciate you allowing me to try to help you. I know I know I’m an ass, and I’ve not ever tried to be anything else, in fact there have only been two people in my life that have ever seen this side of me.”

“Your mother and…”

“No it was not my mother…” He sighed and tried to come up with a way to get out of discussing his innermost demons. The look on her face told him he’d have to tell at least some of it. “It was Lilly Potter… Harry’s mother. We knew each other as children, and then we were both sent to Hogwarts. I loved her more than I ever thought possible. As a child we would play in the field between our houses and we’d pretend that we’d be married. IT was a wonderful thought, but it was not to be. She found happiness with James. I hated him. I still would if he were alive. He was cruel and vindictive and he did not deserve her. But I didn’t either.

“I can tell a beautiful intelligent witch when I see one Hermione, and you my dear are just that. I don’t know why fate has decided to thrust us together, nor why I am the one who has come to your aide. I have failed miserably in the past, I just hope that this time I will be successful.

“About last night…”