Devils and Angels

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Okay! Here is what a lot of readers have been waiting for! Just what was inside the journal Harry found? Read and you shall discover! I hope you enjoy!

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Myself Said Unto Me


Flipping the pages, and absently nibbling on a scone from his plate, Harry continued to read while the minutes sluggishly dragged by as he strove to find something new, or useful within the confines of the yellowed leaves. His muscles began to tense from the increasingly growing frustration he felt from not discovering anything different, and he forcefully dashed the journal into the opposite wall. He didn’t receive the satisfying sound he expected, and that fact alone seemed to push him once more into an emotional quagmire. Rage quickly bubbled to the surface, and spilled over with an even more intensity than he had felt before.

“Damn you!” His chest heaved; his face was contorted with anger.

“Goddamn you!” Harry bellowed, and sprang from the bed. He reached over and flung the simple wooden chair across the room as if its mere presence offended him.

Below, in the modest kitchen, a mass of red heads turned upward at the crash. Thoroughly alarmed, Molly started for the stairs, but Arthur gently grasped her by the elbow, and quietly said, “Leave him be for now, Harry needs this – he has to get it out of his system.”

“But Arthur…” She was interrupted by another crash, and more bellows of rage from above, and Arthur guided her back to her chair.

“You bastard!” The bedside table flew threw the air, only to crash into splinters.

“You son of a bitch!” Hedwig innocently landed in the open window, flinched then fled for the safety of the air when the wireless came sailing her way.

Harry turned and heaved the small desk away from the wall, and it landed with a thud on its side, spilling its drawers as its contents fanned out around them. Not satisfied with that, he raked his arms through the small shelves, sending the books scattering across the floor.

Sinking to his knees in the middle of the mess, he cried out, “You left me, you bastard!” The distraught wizard’s voice cracked into sobs, “You left me…”

Anger and sorrow were quickly replaced with panic when he realized he couldn’t see the journal. Even though he believed it to be useless, he wanted it just the same for it was something that belonged to his lover. Anxiously, he pawed through the chaos as tears began leaking for the second time that day. He swiped at the tears and spying it in the corner, he grabbed it and smoothed the wrinkled pages with still moistened hands.

The slanted scrawl began to smear, and Harry quickly dried his hands on his trousers. He blinked once, and then twice as he stared in disbelief at the blurred sentences as they began to shimmer then slowly shift as they moved gracefully upon the page to form new words.

“Wha...?” The young man whispered to himself as he read the new script and understood he was looking at his lovers’ most intimate thoughts.


1971 September 15
It is the first day of scholl and I can’t believe I am here at last. Ive been sorted into Slytherin House, which is all right by me, and no one has spoken to me yet but this boy with pale hair keeps looking at me. I have learned my house was named after Salazar Slytherin whoever that was. They say he hated muggles and practiced the dark arts. The dark arts are what I am most interested in anyway. I sent Mother an owl to let her know what house I have been sorted into – I hope she is okay.


1971 September 16
A boy named Potter is to be watched out for. He tripped me and caused me to fall on my face because he said I was ignoring him. I wasn’t ignoring him, I just didnt hear him and he didnt believe me. It’s not my fault I cant hear so good out of my right ear. Its been that way since Father hit me last summur.


1971 September 20
I’m in trouble again with the Headmaster and its not my fault – I didn’t do anything. Headmaster Dippit thinks the muggle magazeen was mine, but it’s not – I never saw it before. He claims it’s not the ‘proper sort’ for any young man to see and now I have detention for a week. I think Pettigrew had something to do with it because I saw him talking to Potter and his friends and they laughed when they saw me.


Harry quickly skimmed through the first entries, smiling for the first time in weeks at all of young Severus Snape’s spelling and grammatical errors, and stopped at one that caught his eye, and shocked him at the same time.


1972 October 31
He killed her! I just know he did! I hate him! I hate him! I hate him! Professor Dumbledore told me I didnt have to go home, but I think he was lying just to make me feel better. Knowing my Father as I do, he probably told the Headmaster he didn’t want me anymore…


1973 January 09
Happy Birthday to me, big deal.


1973 January 10
I got a surprise today. When there was a decent break between classes Malfoy told me to meet him at the owlery tonight. He was waiting for me when I got there. He gave me a birthday present. It is a black quill and it is brand new, but the good thing about it is he charmed it so only I can use it and I am using it now. Potter won’t be able to hide this one from me and get me in trouble for not having a quill in class. Lucius said it would burn the hand of anyone but me.

I really cant wait for Potter to try something with it…


1973 January 12
Ha! He tried! He went yelling threats at me all the way to the infirmary holding his burned hand!


Harry marked his place with his finger as he scrambled to his feet. Jerking the mattress back onto the bed frame, and quickly grabbing what pillows that had not burst open during his tirade, he settled back against them and opened the journal once more. Not finding anything of particular interest, he moved toward the middle, and read with concentration.


1976 February 15
After the ball last night, Lucius came to me and asked if I would go with him. He said it was a secret. He took me to the Room of Requirement. We sat and talked for a long time, then he just leaned over and kissed me. He watched to see if I would get upset, and when I didn’t he kissed me again. One girl did let me kiss her last night, and that was nice but nothing to what I felt when Lucius kissed me. I can’t even begin to describe the feelings.

We kept kissing and the next thing I knew we had no clothes on and he was on top of me. His hands were everywhere, and I thought I would die, I wanted him to get off so I could dress and find someplace private so I could wank. Instead, he took me in his mouth – it was glorious. After he had taken care of my problem, it was his turn.

We stayed there all night doing things I never dreamed of…


Blushing furiously and feeling a stab of jealousy surge through him, Harry decided to read closer to the end, and what he read touched him deeply.


01 August 2007
He is the most beautiful creature I have ever seen. I could get lost in those green eyes for an eternity. I had begun to notice how attractive he has become, and I certainly didn’t answer his invitation in the hopes of bedding him. When Harry looked at me, and offered himself, and honestly wanted me, I could not refuse or restrain myself.

I feel alive again…


02 August 2007
It was all I could do to keep from obliterating Black from the face of the earth. As far as I am concerned, he should have fell through the veil, instead of jumping behind it to save his skin. He had hurt my Harry – yes MY Harry, and insulted us both.

Harry had nightmares obviously of horrific proportions, which made him ill for a time. I worry for him…


03 August 2007
I have never met anyone who had the capacity to touch my soul in the way Harry has. When I am with him, my defences fall, and they most certainly fell last night. I think for the first time in my life, I am actually in love.


Harry read on to find just how ill the Headmaster had become from destroying the Marvolo Gaunt ring, and the only thing keeping him alive was Severus’ extensive knowledge of potions. Even those were barely keeping the old wizard in this mortal coil. There was a brief reference to a visit from Narcissa Malfoy and her sister Bellatrix, and another involving a heated argument with Dumbledore himself.


15 October 2007
I am at the mercy of my own foolishness. I took pity on a mother’s tears, and have endangered everything that has been gained. I have never been able to hide very much from Albus, and as usual he was in top form in that regard. We argued bitterly, and naturally he prevailed once more, though for not my lack of trying to convince him otherwise. His other concern is Harry, I cannot divulge anything to him, for he is so open with his emotions and feelings, that it would be a danger to him and to myself for me to do so. Perhaps I should go ahead and play the bastard everyone believes that I am, and be done with it.


Harry snapped the journal shut; his heart beating slow and hard under his breastbone, so much so, that it actually pained him. He now had something to go on even though it would not be considered absolute proof. A witness, or even a pensieve would be needed for that, but as for himself, he required nothing more than the words bound between the tattered black leather.

“If it’s the last thing I do, I going to show them all you’re not the bastard they say you are,” he swallowed fighting the lump that threatened to form, and said to himself, “I swear it on my magic, we’ll be together again.”