Darker Side of Me

Darker Side of Me –Chapter 13

Draco was rather taken aback by Harry’s sudden promise. He had never heard Potter ever condone murder or promise to commit one. He felt a tingle of mute excitement at the glimmer of this darker side of Harry Potter. Yet something still bothered him. He himself was a Death-Eater still, no matter whether he acted like one or not. He wondered if Harry harbored this same hatred, at least in some measure, for him as well. He wondered whether the Gryffindor would ever be able to fully trust him, knowing where he came from and what he was.

“Oh Harry!” a bright and bubbly voice came from the doorway. “It’s so wonderful to see you again! How have you been?” A very strange young woman entered the room, happily waving her arms about for Harry. Her hair was short and a neon pink colour. It almost offended his person in its brightness but Harry seemed happy to see her so Draco decided to hold his tongue.

“Tonks! Hey,” Harry greeted, accepting her welcoming hug. “I’m doing alright.”

“Wonderful,” she replied. “Remus told me that you will be staying with us for a while along with…” Trailing off her sentence, the woman identified as ‘Tonks’ suddenly turned and opened her mouth at Draco, as though only just noticing his presence.

“This is Draco Malfoy,” Harry introduced, sensing confusion. “He’s with me and yeah, we’re staying here for a while.” He nodded to Malfoy, who was entirely lost as to how to react.

“Hello,” he decided to try, holding his hand out to greet her. Tonks chose a different way.

“Oh, Draco!” she exclaimed, as though just remembering his name. She wrapped her arms around him as well. Draco decided that she was obviously far too easily excited and decided to keep his distance in normal circumstances. He was not comfortable around overly perky people. “Nice to meet you. I’m Nymphadora Tonks.”

“Pleasure,” Draco murmured. The name seemed familiar for some reason now. He glanced back at the Black Family tapestry and his keen eyes found her name amongst the end branches. She giggled from behind him.

“I’m part of the Black family too, yes,” she said smiling, though Draco could see a cover of sadness shield her eyes. He assumed that she was cousins with Sirius and so was also dealing with his loss. His thoughts drifted back to Bellatrix Lestrange, who was kith and kin to these people who were so important to Harry. She was their cousin and yet she killed Sirius and embraced Voldemort instead. He was kith and kin to that and he could not stand it.

“Er, is there any lunch?” Harry asked, wanting to break up the awkward silence that surrounded them now.

“Ah yes! Remus prepared some food for you in the kitchen,” she informed them. “I have some Order business to take care of right now but you go on in and serve yourselves. I’ll be in there in a moment to tell you about your room arrangements and all.”

Harry nodded to her and led Draco into the room across the hall. He did not spend much time taking in the décor of the room. Once he got in there and smelled the prepared food, he realized just how hungry he was. Harry got some plates for them both and they served themselves of the dishes set out before them on the counter.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked, noticing Draco’s distraction as they ate. The blonde looked up.

“Nothing, I was just thinking about everything you said in there,” he admitted subtly.

“What in particular,” Harry pressed, picking at his vegetables.

“About what you said about Bellatrix Lestrange,” he mumbled, his face dark. Harry said nothing. “You harbor such harsh feelings towards her and I’ve never seen you so angry at anyone before. I’ve never heard you threaten to kill someone and know that you really meant it.”

“I told you why I hate her,” Harry replied quietly. He did not look at Draco. “I know she’s your aunt, but too many people have been taken from me and I’ve never been able to do anything about it. She should suffer for what she has done. I feel the same way about Peter Pettigrew for betraying my parents. I will kill those I have to kill in the end to destroy Voldemort and make all his bloody followers pay. You should understand that.”

“That’s just it,” Draco admitted. He looked away and stared at his forearm. “You hate all of his followers and yet, like it or not, I’m still among those people. I’m still a Death-Eater. And I was born of that. What does that mean about me?”

“I…” Harry started. He was staring at Draco, unsure of what to say. “You’ve renounced being a Death-Eater though. You have the mark but you aren’t a part of them. Are you?”

“I’ll always be a Death-Eater,” Draco answered. He choked on his words and clenched his jaw. “I hate it but I cannot deny it. I can never be clean of what I’ve done…no matter how much good I try to do in return.”

“You aren’t like them though,” Harry protested, placing a hand on Draco’s arm. “You don’t know Bellatrix and those kinds. You haven’t done the kinds of terrible things they have. You never will be like them.”

“I do know her,” Draco finally admitted. He turned to Harry, his eyes glazed in sadness and regret. “She was my main mentor while I trained to become a Death-Eater. I’d never met her until then, but I know my parents have mentioned her.” He stopped for a moment to look away, unable to hold Harry’s gaze.

“Draco,” Harry whispered, but Malfoy shook his head.

“She taught me the Unforgivable Curses,” he continued. “She is the one who first made me feel the Cruciatus curse. She is the one who brought out the anger in me that caused me to use in on the other Slytherins in training.” He shut his eyes, not wanting to see the images in his mind of those he once called his friends writhing on the ground from his own spell. “I have seen what they are like and I have done terrible things.”

“Draco,” Harry whispered to him, moving closer to him. “They abused of their power. They put you in a position where you wanted to vent your anger and take it out on whoever was closest. I know how that feels. I’ve used the Cruciatus curse before too.” Harry admitted his crimes to Draco, hoping to quell his worry and his pain. He had used the curse before on Bellatrix herself. He would have done it again and again without remorse if he had been given the chance.

“She said I was a ‘natural’,” the blonde answered back, angry with himself. “Harry, there is nothing I can do about it, I am my father’s son and my aunt’s nephew and I always will be. Nothing will change that. I’m going to end up as cruel and heartless as they all are…eventually.” He stared at Potter, pearly tears falling silently from his eyes. “What will happen when that comes true? What will you do, Harry?”

“Draco, you are not doomed to become your family,” Harry argued, not entirely sure of what he was saying. “You chose to be different. Look at Sirius! He chose to take a different path and ended up nothing like his family at all. Tonks did as well! Her cousins are Death-Eaters and she’s an Auror.” He grabbed Malfoy’s arm and pulled him closer. “You will not be your father’s son and you are nothing like any of those cowards who follow Voldemort.”

“How can you know that?” Malfoy grimaced from his frustration. He could see that Harry was fighting tooth and nail for him and yet he could not understand why.

“I could not possibly love a Death-Eater,” Potter replied with no hesitation. “I could not love you if I knew you were like them. But I never stopped loving you even when you broke my heart and when I wanted to hate you. I couldn’t. I know that you are different than your father, Draco. I know it and you will have to trust that I know what I’m talking about. I’ve dealt with enough dark wizards and enough mistaken identities to be able to tell.”

“Harry, you haven’t yet seen the darkest side of me,” Draco told him honestly. He revealed his burning red mark to Harry as he spoke. “And I’m afraid of what is going to happen when this finally takes over and turns me into the animal I was born and trained to be.”

*_*_*

Harry stared at the dark mark that tainted Draco’s otherwise perfect porcelain skin. He felt a burning hatred suddenly for Draco’s father. He breathed heavily and tried to understand why any man would do anything like this to their son. He could not imagine why any parent would sacrifice their child to the devil and claim that it was the child’s fault. He cracked his fingers under the table for a moment as the anger coursed through him.

“Draco, listen to me,” he ordered quietly. Harry’s eyes were set and his expression was stony. “I will be next to you no matter what. I will protect you and you don’t have to be scared anymore, alright? Just don’t doubt me and promise me that you won’t go back to them because you think it’s where you deserve to be. Promise me.”

“I… I promise,” Draco answered finally. He stared deep into Potter’s eyes as he agreed and felt himself calm down. No one had ever promised him loyalty like that and he wasn’t sure how to react.

Harry sighed heavily, feeling a great sense of relief. He tried to forget all his anger and frustration. He leaned in to kiss Draco, wanting to be close to him and taste him again to rid himself of the negative feelings. He stopped suddenly, however, when Tonks opened the kitchen door and walked in to sit with them.

“I hope you are enjoying your lunch, boys!” She sat down happily at the table and picked up a piece of bread from the basket in the centre of the table. “Now, about your rooms,” she began, pointing to the air as though to indicate the subject. “Dumbledore explained your predicament to us and so, due to the situation, we decided that it was probably best you both stay in the same room. The problem was, however, that most of the rooms are rather small for two teenaged boys to live in for three months or whatever. So, we decided to give you the master bedroom upstairs. It’s slightly larger than the rest so you’ll both fit in nicely, but there’s one other problem.” She took a moment to take a bite out of the bread. “The room only has one bed in it. Now, it’s large enough for two to sleep in –it’s a queen sized bed after all –but if you don’t feel comfortable like that, we can change the bed and give you two singles, though that will take a week or so. So what’ll it be?”

“The one bed should be fine, I think,” Harry answered with a small, coy smile. “We wouldn’t want to be any trouble.”

“I suppose I can rough it and share a bed with you, Potter,” Draco drawled, languidly retrieving his natural tone. There was, however, a hint of amusement in his words.

“Great! Well all your stuff is already up there, so you can go up when you like!” Tonks mussed Harry’s hair happily as she spoke then went off to take care of some more Order business and left them to their lunches.

Harry and Draco both finished their food quickly and quietly. They cleaned their plates and headed off to the upper floor to seek out their room. Harry led the way, while Draco took in the details of the house. There were large dark rectangular marks on the walls where paintings must have once hung. The walls were bare now, however, except for a choice few paintings of still life.

“Why are there no paintings anymore?” Draco asked, rather confused. Harry laughed.

“They wouldn’t stop yelling at everyone who passed by about how we were traitors and intruders in their sacred pure-blood home,” he snickered. “They were particularly vocal about Sirius and I so eventually I think Remus got sick of them and tossed them into Kreacher’s room.”

“Who is Kreacher?” Malfoy asked, becoming more and more aware of just how strange this house was.

“He’s S-…well, he’s my house-elf now, I suppose.” Harry shrugged. “He doesn’t like me much and won’t really listen to me though.”

“Why not? He’s a house-elf, he has no choice,” Draco spat rather snobbishly.

“I’m not a Black,” Potter admitted. “He doesn’t have any reason to want to obey me except that he is bound to the Black family and Sirius left him to me.”

“Call him,” Draco ordered, frowning. He did not appreciate disobedience from subordinates, ever. He was a Malfoy, that is how he was raised.

“Kreacher!” Harry called out, shrugging. With only minor delay, a small wrinkled house-elf popped into the hallway before them. He gave Harry a dirty look as he clutched the old pair of slacks that hung over his shoulders, no doubt belonging to Sirius’ father.

“What?” he asked, showing Harry no respect at all. Draco glared.

“You will show your master proper respect, you worthless little servant,” Draco ordered, his voice strong and demanding without being loud. Kreacher gave Malfoy a glimmering look of acceptance and bowed his head before the blonde.

“Yes, Sir,” he said, fully compliant. “Is there anything Sir would like?” Harry was bewildered.

“What, can you smell Slytherins or something??” he asked the house-elf in disbelief. “He’s only part Black!”

“Apologize to your master, elf,” Draco ordered, pointing at Harry.

“Kreacher asks your forgiveness, Sir. Kreacher was rude and out of place, Sir,” He bantered, bowing his head at Harry. Potter stared, his eyes wide and incredulous.

“Alright,” he answered. “That’s all, Kreacher. You can go now.” The house-elf bowed very low to them both and disappeared in an instant. “Apparently, he likes you,” Potter laughed to Draco. “At least maybe he’ll listen to me now.”

“He has no right to be so disrespectful,” Malfoy spat, disgusted with the idea of servants disobeying. “He should be groveling at your feet in thanks for keeping him when you have no reason to.”

“Right,” Harry muttered, still laughing about the whole thing. They stopped before an old black wooden door with a brass handle. “This is us I think.”

They stepped inside to find a rather spacious but sparsely decorated room with dark wooden walls in keeping with the rest of the house and a beautiful old carpet covering the wooden floors. The large bed against the far wall of the room was covered in a thick green blanket and the bed hanging bore the Black family crest. The windows were wide and bright to the right and there was a small closet to the left of the bed. As they stepped in, they noticed a few strange items that seemed rather out of place.

There was some rope curled in the corner next to the fireplace, along with some leather straps that Harry did not dare inspect. In the closet there was a basket full of sheets and a number of wooden clothes pins.

“Some strange things in this room,” Harry remarked, noticing that the drawers of the bedside tables had padlocks on them. “I don’t really know what they are all doing in here.”

“Oh, I’ve got a fair few ideas as to what they might be useful for.” Draco smirked devilishly at Harry and stepped over to the bed.


A/N: Thanks for all the reviews, I had to make some changes to this chapter so it's a little late. I'll post 14 along with it just for fun :) And after that it gets steadily darker and more angsty so I hope you are all up for it! Review and receive! hehehe *love to all*