Where Others Fear to Tread

Chapter 13

In a quiet corner of Dumbledore’s reading room Harry sat staring at the wall of books in front of him, completely numb all over as he heard the quiet, nervous chatter of his friends and family outside. The day had passed in a blur, his classes running into one another as Ron led him blindly between the rooms concerned for his friend’s vagueness but not commenting. Tonight was the night they completed the deal the rings and all, and while it hadn’t seemed like anything when Snape had talked about it in the letter, sitting here alone in this little room Harry couldn’t think of anything else. Outside was four of the people Harry considered his closest and only family he had, all of them waiting to witness Harry’s union to a man he despised. The sinking feeling had begun when he’d work up this morning, and only steadily grown throughout the day until sickness was imminent. With his head down the toilet violently being ill, Harry had pondered everything that had happened and was going to happen. After the ceremony Snape was going to take him back to the dungeons and have sex with him. A man, was going to fuck him and above all else that was what frightened Harry the most. After the contract negotiations Harry had put it out of his mind, the idea of having sex with Snape just horrifying but while sitting in the 5th floor boys bathroom being ill, it had all come slowly back to him.

Harry had made his own way up to the headmaster’s office just before 6, leaving behind his confused friends knowing he would return to them tomorrow a changed person. With a sigh Harry had allowed Dumbledore to show him into the reading room to get changed and prepared, not that he could ever have prepared himself for what was to come. Dressed in his new robes Harry sat on the chair staring at his reflection in the mirror opposite him unable to draw his eyes away. In all his life he would never have imagined himself in this position and regret began to build in his mind, about what he would never probably do now he was bound to Snape.

A sharp knock at the door interrupted his miserable musings and Harry barely made it to his feet when Snape strode into the room.

“Potter your godfather………..” Snape trailed off as the potion professor’s gaze fell on Harry. Self-consciously Harry tugged on the sleeves of his new robe his gaze not lifting from the floor as he felt Snape’s gaze travel up and down his appearance in appraisal. Harry half expected to hear Snape sneering something about the colour, the two of them not having spoken a word to one another since the incident in the classroom yesterday. However no comment was forth coming and when the silence continued Harry braved a glance up to meet Snape’s dark gaze. Harry was stunned by what he saw. Snape stood up in a floor length black coat, buttoned from the neck to mid knee. The coat was made of the finest black material and the soft black leather boots just visible beneath seemed almost lacking. Snape’s dark greasy hair was now cleanly washed and was tied back with a black ribbon at the base of the man’s neck. Harry had never seen Snape looking so regal and the man’s presence grew immensely with the new appearance. While Snape brushed up well the man’s appearance did nothing for the way Harry was feeling and as he drew his gaze away from Snape’s Harry sighed heavily unable to stop a single tear from escaping.

“Tell me there’s something beyond this because at the moment I can see nothing but my life slipping through my fingers.” His words were full of pain and hopelessness and Harry felt his chest tighten in agony at the true extent of what he was loosing by being forced into this marriage. Harry hardly flinched as he felt Snape move further into the room, the man quietly closing the door behind him leaving the room only illuminated by the single candle Harry had lit when he’d come in. Cast in shadows Snape moved forward until he was standing in front of Harry, the boys face turned away into darkness. Slowly Snape drew his hand up to cup Harry’s cheek drawing the boys face towards him gently so that the single silver tear glittered in the flickering light. Harry had little choice but to meet Snape’s gaze instantly falling into the dark windows of the man’s eyes. Without hesitation Snape leaned forward and involuntarily Harry closed his eyes and parted his lips knowing what was coming and powerless to stop it.

The first tentative touch of Snape’s lips to his own was strange. Harry had only ever kissed one other person and that was Cho and that had hardly been a kiss, still it was the only thing Harry could compare Snape’s kiss to. Where Cho’s lips were sweet tasting, Snape’s were bitter. The girl’s lips had been soft and supple but Snape’s were slightly chapped but warm. Cho had smelt of strawberries and flowers but Snape smelt of sandalwood and crisp winter air. With his eyes closed Harry could almost imagine the kiss being that of a woman but it was the firmness of the roughened hand on his cheek that reminded him of whom the lips belonged to. All in all the kiss was not unpleasant and Harry stayed completely still when the chaste kiss ended and Snape pulled slightly away. With his eyes still closed Harry felt Snape’s thumb gently brush away the tear on his cheek before another gentle kiss was placed on his cheek were it had been. A soft whisper met his ears although it sounded far louder as the blood rushing to his head made his senses supersensitive.

“Tomorrow is what’s beyond.”

“Tomorrow?” Harry whispered back not daring to open his eyes for fear of what he’d see.

“Yes, Tomorrow you may get lucky and I’ll die.” At Snape’s whispered reply Harry couldn’t help but open his eyes and he look blankly at Snape as the man pulled back from him consciously straightening out his coat, his pink tongue briefly flicking out to wet his lips. Harry could hardly believe those lips were the ones just kissing him and despite himself a little part of him wanted them to return.

“I wouldn’t want that.” Harry whispered softly watching as a surprised smile twitched at the corners of his lips.

“No?” Snape inquired obviously of a different mind.

“No.” Harry whispered again this time accompanying it with a shake of his head. “Who would save me from myself then?” Snape huffed a small laugh at Harry’s comment and the boy couldn’t help but let a small smile of his own play at the corners of his lips. Perhaps McGonagall had been right after all, and that Snape wasn’t the worst person he could marry in the world.

“True.” Snape whispered in return and opened the door to the room, allowing the light from Dumbledores spacious office to filter back in. “Your godfather has arrived and the master of ceremonies is ready to begin.” Snape held out his arm for Harry who having taken a deep steadying breath stepped up to Snape’s side gently taking hold of the man’s arm and sliding his hand into Snape’s just as tradition require of them. Stepping out into the main office, Snape led the way quietly to the steps leading up into Dumbledore’s observatory.

“I still hate you.” Harry muttered cheekily as they began up the stairs feeling better but still not overly confident. Snape’s presence by his side seemed to sure up some of the more radical emotions Harry had been dealing with all day but he still wasn’t perfect. Snape smiled down at Harry as they reached the top of the staircase, the small gathering clustered around the white rose podium in the center of the observatory.

“I would expect nothing less Potter.”

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“That wasn’t too painful.” Harry muttered as he stared at the platinum and gold ring around his finger, its matching brother glittering on Snape’s finger. It didn’t feel as strange as Harry had expected it too. Admittedly it was heavy on his finger but it was not uncomfortable. Snape said nothing in return to the comment and merely continued to eat the raspberries from the punnet beside him. Sirius, Lupin and McGonagall sat opposite them on plush white cushions sharing the picnic feast the house elves had prepared in secret. Elderberry wine, had accompanied soft cheeses and fruit platters, along with turkey and cranberry sandwiches. Like Snape had said it was a very light meal and everyone it seemed, although subdued, was enjoying themselves, quietly chattering with one another. Trying not to be overly romantic Harry couldn’t have picked a more perfect spot to have the ceremony; under the open roof of Dumbledore’s observatory the stars had played silent witness to the pairs union even if only five actual people knew about it.

“I didn’t picture you as a romantic.” Harry whispered as he stared up into the clear sky trying and failing to remember anything from astronomy class that he’d learnt.

“Don’t fool yourself, I’m not.” Snape replied as he politely wiped his fingers on a napkin and reclined easily back on his own plush cushion, his coat having been undone to reveal the crisp white shirt beneath and the tailored fitted trousers. Harry sighed but said nothing, not wanting to upset the equilibrium they were currently sitting on at the moment. Having not spoken two nice words to one another for most of the week, to be back to being civil was almost pleasant. While trying not to think about it, a niggling part of Harry’s mind reminded him that the night was not over when the ceremony was over, but for the moment Harry tried to forget about his impending deflowering.

Snape had kissed him again as customary to the traditions of the ring ceremony. This kiss had been quicker and Harry had noted the tenseness in the man’s lips obviously disliking the public display of intimacy. It was a point Harry made to note, that Snape obviously wasn’t an exhibitionist. Yet again Harry didn’t feel anything especially ‘gay’ about the kiss, in fact it wasn’t any different from kissing Cho in reality. Technically it wasn’t as foul as he would have expected, and his skin didn’t crawl with horror at the memory of it either.

The night wore on with Snape and Harry’s time spent in pleasant company, just as they had back in Snape’s chambers when they’d been discussing Snape’s love of books. There was no ‘Potter’ or scowls only polite exchanges about the ceremony and the food. Eventually though it had to come to an end and Harry was surprised to feel Snape’s hand come up to touch his arm, drawing Harry away from his conversation with Sirius. The moment Harry looked into Snape’s eyes he knew it was time and Harry breathed out awkwardly as he nodded silently at Snape’s request.

“I’ll make our excuses to the headmaster.” With a curt nod Harry watched Snape rise from the pillow, the man disappearing over to where Dumbledore was talking with McGonagall about the stars above them. Harry turned slowly towards Sirius who had silently watched the exchange between the unwilling couple. Reaching out a supportive hand Sirius placed it comfortably on Harry’s shoulder.

“The first is always the hardest Harry but you’ll survive it.” Harry nodded quietly smiling at the chain looped around Sirius’ neck, a thank-you present Harry had brought and given to his godfather after the ring ceremony earlier. “And remember Harry its only once a month. Think of it as a chore and nothing more.” Sirius brushed his hand down Harry’s cheek before leaning in a placing a soft kiss to his godson’s forehead. “And if that bastard hurts you at all, I’ll hunt him down and tear his heart out with my bare hand.” Sirius looked seriously at Harry who nodded in understanding right before a shadow fell over them. Harry sighed as he glanced up at Snape, tentatively accepting the hand the man offered as help from the ground. Harry watched Snape and Sirius stare at one another before Snape turned away and led Harry down from the observatory and over to the fireplace in Dumbledore’s study.

“You first.” Snape handed Harry a small handful of floo powder and Harry stepped up to fireplace, pausing in front of the flames Harry glanced back at the observatory saddened somewhat to see Dumbledore, McGonagall, Sirius and Lupin all standing at the top of the staircase watching him leave. With a sigh Harry waved weakly at Sirius his godfather smiling and waving weakly back. The man had restrained himself well throughout the entire ceremony, not once referring to his hatred of Snape. Like wise Snape had returned the favor although Harry was sure there was only more hatred between them now than there ever was before. Turning back to the fireplace, Harry threw the powder into the flames and having steeled his nerves stepped through into Snape’s quarters.

Not a moment later Snape was standing next to him, the man absently brushing the soot from his clothes as he stepped casually over to his little kitchen and poured himself a glass of what Harry assumed was brandy. Standing awkwardly where he was in the middle of the living room, Harry began to absently turn the ring on his finger around, the motion soon to become a habit. Due to the secrecy of their marriage, the rings had been charmed so that no one other than Snape and Harry could see them. On his second sip of his brandy Snape moved quietly over to his chair by the fire, unbuttoning the last of his coat and taking it off to drape over the back of the sofa before he sat down. Harry swallowed nervously his eyes turned to the floor as he felt Snape’s perusal of him.

“I’m not going to jump you like a wild animal Potter, you can relax.” Snape watched carefully as Harry breathed out for the first time since he’d stepped into the living room, the boy nervously sitting down on the edge of the chair opposite, his eyes still trained to the floor. Harry had no idea what was expected of him now. This was completely new territory for him and no amount of books would prepare him for what was required of him.

“I didn’t expect you would.” Harry whispered trying and failing to make conversation so that he didn’t feel so god damn vulnerable as he was feeling now. Snape huffed what Harry assumed as a disbelieving chuckle before speaking again. “I’m just nervous. When I pictured losing my virginity in no part of it was there another man.” Harry couldn’t believe he’d just said what he had but that seemed to draw Snape into further conversation, which at present was something other to think about than the bed waiting for them in the other room.

“Believe me Potter, there are far worse ways of being plucked than having sex with your male potions professor.” Harry glanced up cautiously into Snape’s eyes and was a little frightening by the way Snape’s expression spoke so wholly of experience in this matter. Harry however didn’t want to ponder how Snape knew about the other ways to loose ones virginity and instead dropped his gaze back to where he was twisting the ring about his finger again. Silence again fell between them and Harry watched from above the rims of his glasses as Snape finished off what was in his glass of brandy before setting it aside on the table. Snape’s gaze then fell back on Harry’s. “As disbelieving as it seems Mr. Potter I do prefer my bed partners willing and having spent a good six years pretending to be impotent my cock has seen little more action than daily urination. While I acknowledge you will likely get very little from our sexual encounters I do ask you learnt to accept this monthly copulation, so that I don’t feel like a dirty, perverted old professor every time we do this.” Harry nodded silently having hardly believed he’d just heard what he had from Snape’s mouth. “Now are there any requests or rules before we enter the bedroom? I know how much this task disgusts you so I’ll do my best to refrain from touching you, anything else?”

“No.” Harry shook his head quietly and watched as Snape gestured towards the bedroom.

“Good. There’s a nightshirt in the bathroom and a fresh towel. I would expect that before entering my bed you would shower thoroughly and use the facilities. If you catch my meaning?” Harry read clearly between the lines and nodded again in understanding. Getting up from the chair Harry moved quietly over to the bedroom door pausing just on the threshold to glance back at Snape who was now reclining thoughtfully in his chair.

“Um do you think I could call you Severus now that we’re….” Snape turned around and glanced over the back of his chair at Harry who had trailed off and was gesturing to the ring on his finger. For a moment Snape seemed to consider the question, Harry assumed the man was going to say no.

“I suppose that would be acceptable, calling me ‘Sir’ or ‘Professor’ seems somewhat a joke now that we are bound. It will only happen in private though.” Harry nodded enthusiastically surprised that Snape had agreed.

“And would you call me Harry?” Harry was sure he was pushing his luck and he was right as he watched Snape turn back around to face the fire, his back to Harry again.

“We’ll see.” Was Snape’s cool reply. Harry sighed but was expecting that answer. Turning Harry hurried into the bathroom trying and failing miserably to prepare himself for the night ahead…

TBC>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>