Change My World

The cradle is soft and warm
Couldn\'t do me no harm
You\'re showing me how to give
Into temptation
Knowing full well the earth will rebel
-- Crowded House


Isolation wouldn\'t have agreed with everyone as well as it agreed with Draco. His new living quarters were not far from Dumbledore\'s office and had been specially warded with a Sanctuary spell and the Fidelius charm. While several children of Death Eaters tried to track Malfoy\'s movements, they couldn\'t place where he was staying. They might see where he was headed and would try desperately to memorize the location. However, as soon as they had committed it to memory the thought would evaporate and they would find themselves standing perplexed in the hallway staring blankly at doors unsure of how they\'d arrived in this corridor.

Dumbledore nominated Snape to be the Secret Keeper which most everyone agreed was sensible. That is, everyone but Harry. Though the Gryffindor tried valiantly to argue that he was the one who should hold Malfoy\'s secret, it was Draco who ultimately shot him down. \"You\'re still too vulnerable, Harry. I don\'t want to be murdered in my sleep because the Dark Lord took over your dreams and found where I was.\"

The comment stung, and in defeat Harry dropped back into the chair in front of Dumbledore\'s desk and let out a long and irritated sigh, \"But Snape won\'t tell me where you are.\"

\"Right now I don\'t want you to know where I am.\"

\"But my lessons are going well!\" protested Harry.

\"I...\" Draco turned to look at Snape, his brows furrowed in worry for a moment, unsure of his resolve to really resist Harry\'s pleas.

\"As well as they may be going, Mr. Potter, you still have a long way to go. Are you so impudent that you think that after a couple of lessons where Mr. Malfoy likely indulged you that you are ready to master the Dark Lord\'s full attention?\" questioned Snape.

\"He didn\'t indulge me! He-\"

Draco shook his head at the situation and shifted his weight in his discomfort at dealing with such a personal situation in front of so many people, \"You are doing well, and no, I haven\'t indulged you. I\'m just not comfortable...\" His voice trailed off and then broke entirely as he glared defensively around the room.

\"I\'m sorry,\" Harry repeated. Sometimes it felt like that was all he said to Malfoy. He was sorry that he\'d lost control to Voldemort and throttled him. He was even more sorry that it had created such a vast space between them. Draco was afraid of him now. No, not afraid of him, he was afraid of Voldemort, which was a sensible fear. It was just maddening, as Harry wanted so desperately to comfort Draco and be comforted by him.

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes at Harry he stated, \"Don\'t be sorry, just keep practicing.\" Then, for the briefest of moments, Draco gave Harry a quick smile of support.

The scant bit of encouragement was enough for Harry to hold onto for now. He wasn\'t sure that his mind would ever be completely Voldemort-proof, but Draco appeared to have faith in him. Snape, on the other hand, continued to glower callously at the brunet with skepticism written all over his sallow face. At that moment, Harry made a vow to himself and the rest of the room, \"I will. I will be an Occlumens.\"

--

In spite of Snape\'s derisive scoff at Harry\'s assertion that he would master the art of Occlumency, the determined Gryffindor was making excellent progress. It wasn\'t simply that Draco turned out to be a rather focused teacher; Harry had managed to recruit Ron to assist him in practicing. He had initially approached Hermione to help him, but she was much less understanding of his relationship with Malfoy than he had hoped she would be by this point. In fact, after her rejection Harry had decided that he would attempt to practice by himself when he was floored by Ron\'s offer of assistance.

\"Um... I heard you asking Hermione... in the Common Room,\" Ron said sheepishly later that night, whispering across his neighboring bed.

\"Asking? Oh, about practicing? Yes. There\'s-- well I can\'t blame her, I suppose. There\'s so much... and he\'s never been anything but an ass--\"

\"Yes, he\'s an ass. But look, I\'ll help you,\" Ron said.

Harry was shocked. This was about the most Ron had spoken to him since the news about he and Malfoy had broken, and it was an offer to help? \"Really? You want to help us?\"

Ron\'s face contorted with disgust as he shook his head, \"No, not helping Malfoy. I want to help you. I\'m still not convinced that Malfoy hasn\'t cast some sort of sex charm on you or something, but I don\'t know. You need to know this stuff. I\'ll help you because you\'re my friend and because I don\'t want you to die. It\'s not for Malfoy and it\'s not because I think you being with him is right. I still think it\'s a trap or something. But we\'ve known you need to know Occlumency since last year. So that\'s why I\'m helping.\"

Harry nodded his agreement. That was fine. He couldn\'t exactly blame his friends for not understanding. He wasn\'t sure he understood either. It was good to feel like he was mending fences and had at least one friend again. Beaming at Ron, Harry started to snuggle back down into his covers. \"Thanks, Ron. It-- I\'m glad.\"

\"Just um... don\'t think about Malfoy or those... whatever you do with him,\" Ron said as his visage twisted up into a look of teasing revulsion.

Enjoying the cheery familiarity that was blossoming again between them, Harry retorted, \"Not even a little bit curious to watch, Ron?\"

The redhead snickered and shook his head, \"I\'d rather watch spiders mating than Malfoy naked.\"

--

Snape was rather enjoying his new position of being virtually the only person in Draco\'s life. Though it irked him that the first half an hour to an hour of his nightly visitations to the secluded boy were filled with a mixture of pining for and bragging on the boy who lived, the potions master could eventually steer the subject matter to something he found more interesting.

Even though throughout Draco\'s scholarly career at Hogwarts he\'d spent a fair amount of time chatting with Snape, it was spent talking about Lucius or how much Crabbe and Goyle annoyed him or other petty issues in Slytherin house. Snape had often used those meetings to try and find out what he could about the movements of Death Eaters by exploiting what Draco might have overheard from his father. It always filled him with a bit of shame to abuse the boy\'s trust like that, but this was a war.

Now, however, their conversations were free of the burdens of what Snape needed or wanted to find out and were more personal and even at times philosophical. The more Draco spoke, the less the older man saw of the youthful arrogance that Draco shielded himself with and the more he saw of the adult he was shaping into. Snape felt an odd sense of pride when Draco would occasionally drift off into rambling ideologies that he knew he had sown the seeds for.

And sometimes, just sometimes, the older man found that he was hypnotized listening to Draco speak and watching his mesmerizing gestures. The way Draco\'s pale hands would flutter when making a particularly salient point, and the self conscious way he\'d draw them back in when he realized his hands had gotten away from him. How the youth tossed his hair back and smiled dreamily at the ceiling when he was particularly proud of what he\'d said. The way his quicksilver eyes would cast down and he would sigh when he couldn\'t fathom an answer. In these moments, Snape would simply lean forward slightly, entranced with the strange tango of his mannerisms and how Malfoy fought to control them. He gazed at the oblivious blond who prattled on, lush lips moving over words, forming them with haughty carelessness. Snape couldn\'t quite stop himself from abstractly wondering what those lips felt like... tasted like--

\"Professor?\"

\"Pardon?\"

\"Just seeing if you\'re still with me. You seem kind of out of it. It\'s late,\" Draco observed as he glanced at the clock and made the assumption that Snape\'s fixed stare had to do with how late it was. Or perhaps even that his professor was that engrossed in what he was saying. Not that Draco even remembered what he\'d been on about.

\"No, no. I\'m fine. As you were saying...\"

--

Draco hoisted himself to sit atop an empty desk as he watched Snape and Harry align on either side of Snape\'s large desk. This time there were no wands. Most Legilimency took place without the use of them and Harry would have to protect himself through the force of his will and his training. Draco was only slightly uneasy about this confrontation. He felt pretty secure that Harry was ready for it, even though he may have rushed things a bit as he\'d been growing impatient for their celibacy to end.

Snape gave no warning before he met Potter\'s green eyes and glared intensely into them. There was no noise in the shadowed dungeon. Past curfew on a Thursday night led to a silent castle making it easy for both men to battle their wills without distraction. The teacher was surprised at how well and for how long Harry was able to keep him at bay and remain completely detached from any sort of emotion. Harry withdrew himself from the situation; his mind went to a foggy and cloudy place that was comfortable but not happy or sad. It was a technique he\'d grown quite accustomed to, although creeping into his consciousness were a few faint strains of pride at his success at stymieing Snape and the rustling of Draco\'s uncomfortable fidgeting behind him.

Like a nervous mother, Draco had been fretting and as the minutes ticked on he was growing restless. Looking up at the clock, he counted out that they\'d been at this unblinking staring contest for about ten minutes. How much more proof did Snape need? It was enough. Draco let out a long sigh and then shoved off of the desk, his feet clattered onto the stone floor in an uncouth gesture that caused Snape\'s eyes to divert from Harry\'s.

It was a brief and terrifying moment for Potter as Snape\'s attention was sidetracked to the pale, lithe form of Malfoy. For while Snape was distracted and his defenses were down, Harry had carried on his concentration and caught the stray tendrils of lust that laced the older man\'s thoughts in regards to Draco. Snape turned his attention back to Harry just as the Gryffindor\'s eyes narrowed and lit up with fury. Allowing himself the briefest of sneers, Snape shut Harry back out before he was probed further for how far things may have gone between the two Slytherin. \"You\'ve done a considerable job considering what you were given to work with, Draco,\" Snape said, using the student\'s first name to further infuriate Harry.

Beaming, Draco nodded but then admitted, \"He did loads of work on his own. Didn\'t you, Harry?\" The slight blond tossed back his silvery fine hair in a preening gesture and waited for Harry to turn around so he could congratulate him. Disappointed that Harry was still facing Snape, Draco let out an exasperated sigh and started towards him with his brows furrowed in concern.

Potter watched in a weird fascination as Snape quickly bypassed the desk and swooped around him to wrap his arms around Draco in a rather uncharacteristic show of affection. Draco\'s visage clouded over in a shifty-eyed confusion as he found himself being hugged by, of all people, Professor Snape while Harry glared at them.

\"Oh, um, thanks, Professor,\" Draco said as he politely extracted himself from the embrace. \"I suppose now you can tell Harry where I\'m staying and you won\'t have to baby sit me anymore,\" he said gaily as he side stepped the older man and moved over to Harry\'s side. His grey eyes cast over the seething boy curiously and then peered back at the teacher waiting for a response.

\"Yes, Professor Snape, why don\'t you tell me where Draco is living so you can leave him alone,\" Harry hissed through his teeth as he wrapped a claiming arm around his lover.

\"Are you sure that is wise, Draco? You never know when Potter might lose it again.\"

\"He...\" Draco looked between the two queerly for a moment and then shook his head. He had no idea what the current tension was about and wrote it off to the fact that the two never got along, although this did seem to have a fresh edginess to it. \"He won\'t. He knows how to block it out now. He and I have tested it several times and now he\'s kept you out, so I\'d say he\'s ready.\"

\"I am not the Dark Lord,\" stated Snape.

\"No, but you keep him out of your head. I\'m sure you gave Harry as strenuous a test as you were able to,\" Draco said, smiling a little to try and break some of the angry tension in the room.

\"Look at him now, he\'s out of control. I can practically taste his anger.\"

Draco turned his head to look at Harry\'s obviously rankled form but shrugged, \"It doesn\'t take a Legilimens to see there\'s no love lost. But I don\'t suspect the point of this exercise is to make the Dark Lord think that Harry will be his friend, just to keep him out.\"

\"His anger is a danger.\"

\"His anger is justified,\" hissed Harry who was doubly irritated with what he saw in Snape\'s thoughts and further that the two Slytherin were talking about him as if he weren\'t even there.

Draco looked at the two once more feeling slightly unnerved that he was missing something. \"Just go ahead and tell him where I\'m living,\" Draco said, his eyes finally resting back to Snape whom he was addressing. \"I\'m taking him there anyways; I\'d just prefer not to have to bring him there every time. Please, Professor. I\'m tired and I\'d like to go to my room,\" he appealed.

Snape smacked his lips in distaste as he glared at the way that Harry\'s arm wrapped so insistently around Draco\'s waist. Seeing where Snape\'s eyes roved, Harry brought up his other arm to interlace his fingers so that his arms fully encircled the bewildered blond boy. What could Snape really do? As much as he wanted to throw the boys apart and to shout at Harry never to touch Draco again, he wasn\'t sure what purpose that would serve. Draco wasn\'t going to give up on Harry without a reason and the repressing elder Slytherin couldn\'t vocalize one to the boy. To that end, Snape didn\'t have a particularly rational reason not to tell Potter where to find the exiled Slytherin.

Giving a defeated sigh, Snape expanded the circle of the Fidelius charm to include Harry Potter by telling him where Draco was living in the castle. Excitedly, Draco wriggled out of Harry\'s claiming arms to grab his wrist and started to drag him to the door chirping thanks to his ex-Head of House as he flung open the heavy door. Harry\'s eyes never lost contact with Snape\'s as he focused one singular thought to broadcast to the lecherous older man, \"If you touch him I will end you. He\'s mine.\"

--

There wasn\'t a part of Draco that Harry hadn\'t missed, even if he hadn\'t completely experienced everything about him yet. He admired the way his rough and calloused hands appeared sliding over the smooth, even tone of Draco\'s pale abdomen.

\"Harry...\" the pale boy crooned as the fingers ghosted over his flushed and blotchy narrow chest. His nipples perked and begged for the pinching that the golden boy gave them as he lowered himself atop the splayed porcelain-skinned youth.

One of Harry\'s bronzed hands shot out to the nightstand for the lubrication as he kissed along Draco\'s collarbone. He wanted this to be perfect, but thus far they\'d been lucky not to sustain permanent injury. Once they\'d gotten inside of Draco\'s new home, the private room usually reserved for visitors and guest speakers to Hogwarts, the Slytherin tripped backwards into the room from the force of Harry\'s passionate kisses. Their clothes had been savagely ripped off and were strewn chaotically through the otherwise immaculate room. Draco crawled from the floor up into the bed rubbing at his bruised side. Harry, in an attempt to be seductive, had tried to maintain Draco\'s pained come-hither gaze only to find himself stumbling into the bed after tripping over a hastily dropped shoe. Finally though, they made it to the comfort of the bed together with no uninvited guests to crash their fun.

Fumbling with the screw top, Harry huffed his silent frustration with the inelegance of his rather imperfect performance. Draco smiled and took the bottle and pressed one side down, flipping it open and handed it back to his rosy-cheeked lover. \"I\'m sorry... I wanted it to be...\" Harry started.

\"It is. Just relax,\" Draco whispered as he reached out and drew his pale fingers along Harry\'s blushing face.

Harry closed his eyes and pulled his hand up to cover his erstwhile rival\'s hand on his cheek. He let out a long breath and then opened his unguarded eyes to see the fuzzy vision of his supine lover looking back at him. Buoyed by Draco\'s words and intimate grin, he squeezed out a measure of the clear fluid and slicked it over his erection and his fingers.

After Harry discarded the bottle back to the nightstand, Draco enfolded the other boy in his arms, drawing him atop him. Again their lips met, then parted. Their tongues reacquainted and revisited all of the humid and velvety places they\'d missed. Harry tenderly worked his fingers inside of Draco, feeling the automatic recoiling of the dense muscles against the invasion followed by the pliant yielding that signaled his readiness.

Before pushing into Draco, Harry looked down at him with utter adoration. His unmanageable hair framed his face, shading it slightly from the gaslights that infused the room with a warm, golden radiance, Harry spoke just above a whisper in a timid voice, \"I love you.\"

Afraid of what fresh hell this utterance might unleash, but unable to restrain the inevitable vigor of the words deluging his heart and mind, Draco responded, \"I love you.\"

And this time, the world didn\'t end.

No one rushed the door.

The lights didn\'t fade.

There wasn\'t even an ominous clap of thunder or a flash of lighting.

Everything was absolutely ordinary.

Harry pressed his hips forward, embedding himself deeply into his lover and he reengaged their kiss. Leaning his weight on his left arm, his right moved between them to stroke Draco\'s length between them. They moved together leisurely in crumpled sheets to a chorus of their own soft sighs. Their groans melded, as they tasted one another\'s sweat and lust. Quiet showers turned to torrents of the squelching sounds of bodies colliding. Draco wrapped his legs around Harry\'s back as they drove more vigorously against one another.

Kisses turned to gasps. Soft pushes turned to passionate, needy thrusts. Eyes opened wide and fluttered closed. Hands groped and grabbed. After a last few panicked thrusts, the simultaneous flood of molten slickness spilled between them and inside of Draco.

Finally, with the sound of a fearless exchange of \"I love you\" still resounding, the boys drifted off into a peaceful sleep.