With A Dragon's Heart

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: The Commencement


Draco Malfoy knelt between Harry Potter’s eagle-spread legs, which were bound to the bedposts. His wrists were also tied to the ones over his head. Harry had closed his eyes in hopes that he would wake up to find this all a bad dream. It wasn\'t like he wasn\'t used to his nightmares, but they were always about the same people; not about the boy that was kneeling before him right now. The one on the bed in front of him.

Harry wondered why this boy, along with his Potions Professor, wanted to help him so badly. Its not like they owed him anything. And it certainly wasn\'t the fact that they were friends. On the contrary, the three of them did nothing BUT fight. So much in fact, that Harry tried to go out of his way just to ignore them altogether. But all that changed in just one day. Harry still couldn’t believe it. One day. In one day, all of his secrets came crashing down. In one day, he was exposed to the two people he loathed the most. And now the two of them had his entire future in their hands. And yet they chose to help him instead of destroy him. Surely the world has gone mad.

Draco Malfoy was the one who witnessed Harry’s self-abuse moments. The first time, Draco shoved it in his face and it had infuriated Harry so much, that he became deadly violent. The second time was just as bad if not worse. Draco had seen the damage result up close. Not only did Harry become angry that he was actually caught, but also he became defensive. It isn’t like he means to do that to himself, it just happens. Partly because it’s the only way he’s known, and partly because he’s angry that he has to touch himself in the first place. He did mean what he said to Draco. He wished he never had one at all; it had only brought him nothing but pain. Physically and mentally.

Harry even began searching in the Restricted Section in the library for any type of spells that would render it useless. But none existed. At least what he could find. He suspects any would be a dark spell. Then he considered the possibility of an operation to remove it permanently. But not only would it be expensive, but it definitely would make the headlines of the Daily Profit. That’s all Harry needed. More unwanted notoriety. So in the end, he had no choice but to keep it. And that angered Harry more. It was his body so why couldn’t he do what he wanted? And why suddenly has it become the focus of recent events? He doesn\'t understand what the big deal is.

He understands completely about his explosive temper and how he must learn to control it. And the fact that he’s slightly mentally unstable from all the years in which he was tortured. THAT he understands. He does need help to be rid of the demons that haunt him. But what does that have to do with his body? Or what he chooses to do with it. It’s HIS body, not theirs. Why can’t they just let it be? He heals himself afterwards, and in some sick way, he actually feels better when he’s done. So where’s the problem?

And if that’s not enough, now he’s being told that what he’s doing is not normal, and that it should feel good. Even sex should feel good. Harry shakes his head at that, thinking maybe it’s just different for each person. Kind of like alcohol. Some like the taste, where as others have no tolerance for it. Sounds logical enough. Besides, Harry thinks, eliminating body waste is natural and has to be done, but it doesn\'t actually feel good. So where’s the difference? The other is only a choice if someone wants to or not. And that choice had already been made for him a long time ago. He can’t even remember a time when it WAS his choice.


~*~*~*~*~


It has been hard for Harry these past few days. The last thing he ever wanted was to be different from everyone else. But he knows that’s impossible simply because he is ‘Harry Potter’. Being born Harry Potter was not his choice, nor was living with his so-called relatives. So, one part of his title brought him fame, whereas the other brought him nothing but loneliness, pain, and a lack of self-worth. And now there was this. It was just one more thing to alienate him further from ever being normal.

He finds himself without a choice once again. Stripped of his most private moments, he now lies naked and exposed before those who could care less about him. He himself, has never cared for either of them, let alone trusts them. And yet, here is one of them asking Harry to trust him. Trust him to touch him intimately. Trust him that he will not to hurt him. Impossible Harry thinks. How can he put his trust into this fair-haired boy? The one who has tied him to the bed against his wishes. He had refused to listen to his pleas. So here once again, he has been given no choice.

This time, however, Harry listens. He doesn\'t know why, but he does. Perhaps his way of thinking was just another form of abuse induced by ‘The Bullies’. Perhaps he was wrong. The things discussed with Draco DID actually make sense. Harry couldn’t deny that. But about Draco’s motives? Harry decided it wasn\'t to establish power over him.

So what was it then?


~*~*~*~*~


“Potter?”

No reply.

“Potter? Can you hear me?”

Harry fluttered his eyes open and stared at the grey-eyed boy. Draco Malfoy had rested his arms on the bed on each side of Harry’s head. He was looking down at the raven-haired boy with concern.

“Potter? Where were you just now?”

Harry turned his head to the side. “I was just thinking,” he replied solemnly.

“I’m so sorry for this. I shouldn’t have done it. And…” he paused looking away. “I didn\'t mean to scare you. I just thought,” Draco stopped. He sighed and sat back up on his heels. “I’m sorry,” he repeated.

He rose up to his knees and reached over to the side of the bed to grab his wand.

“Don’t,” Harry whispered.

Draco quickly turned his head to look at Harry’s fixated eyes. “What?” he asked, confused.

“I know what you\'re trying to do.”

Draco cast his eyes down and shook his head. “But I had no right…”

“No you didn\'t,” Harry said harshly. “But…” Harry paused and lowered his tone. “Perhaps this is the only way.”

Draco furrowed his eyebrows. “What way?” he asked, knowingly.

Harry inhaled and softly said, “To - to help me.”

Draco warmly smiled. “That’s all I wanted to do.”

“I know.” Harry paused again. “If I say stop…”

“I will. I swear it.”

Harry closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. “All right then.”

“Don’t you want me to untie you?”

“No. I might not be able to…”

Draco nodded, understanding what he was trying to say.

“Please trust me. I won’t hurt you. I only want to help you. All right?” he asked sincerely.

Harry could only nod in response, but added, “I’m scared.”

“I know Harry.”

Harry lifted his eyes to the Slytherin boy who just called him Harry.


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