Down On Your Knees

Tile: Down on Your Knees

Author: Exis* Exis_@hotmail.com

Pairing: Harry Potter/Severus Snape

Warnings: This fic will contain M/M sex....Gay sex. For thoes who don't like that, you should go away now. It will also highlight a love afair with a teacher so if that makes you unhappy, scram. I haven't finished writing it, but you should assume that it will have spoilers from ALL FOUR BOOKS.....if that displeases you, you can go away as well. My last warning is that this is my first slash fic, and my first Harry Potter fic. I haven't the slightest clue whether it's horrible, and I'd like to pretend it's not....

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, nor am I making any money off this. You know the drill, I won't elaborate.

Dedicated: To my Lovely Beta Tealish. Thanks for your patience, and your trust. And also to ALL THE RAVENCLAWS OUT THERE.......the greatest hero's go unnoticed...and also to the two people who put me on their favorites list.....this is for you.......

Archive: Anywhere you want to....just mail me to let me know

When he swears up and down
That there is a monster under his bed
Please get down on your knees
And search the entire room
Try to sweep out the demons
With only a broom -I Gave My Child to You


Chapter 12 "Try to sweep out the demons"

The glossy light of the morning sun infiltrated his flimsy curtains fully at about nine o’clock. Harry’s hair stuck up in all directions and he slowly began operating his muscles. He opened one eye, and looked up to see the morning light. Harry didn’t remember the last time he has slept through the night. He cautiously opened the other eye, and finally remembered why he had slept. He shut both his eyes again and pulled the pillow over his head. He hoped the bed would swallow him whole.

“Oh no you don’t,” said the voice of Hermione, as she pulled the pillow from over his head. All around his bed, his friends and family stood, looking down on him. He felt like a zoo animal. He felt the covers sliding off of him. Finally, he gave in, opened his eyes, and faced his friends. He sat up slowly and pulled on his glasses. Ron looked perplexed, Dumbledore looked sickeningly cheerful, and Remus was worried and holding hands with an uptight Sirius. Hermione just crossed her arms, pinning him with a serious McGonagall look. “You have some explaining to do,” she said simply. Harry sighed.

Harry changed his shirt, under the scrutiny of everyone there. They weren’t even going to let their eyes off him a m a moment. He heard everyone into the living room and took one of the chairs. Dumbledore took the other, and everyone else sat on the floor. It was then that Harry saw Snape. He stood in the kenetenette stirring what looked like a cup of tea. Harry realized that he must have not slept. He seemed totally aloof to the going-ons in the living room. Harry wasn’t sure whether his presence comforted him or unnerved him. Whichever it was, Harry had a story to tell, and tell it, he had to.

He started at the beginning. He told everyone about the dream, and he told them about the Restricted Section. He talked of the practice he had, and how he had attacked the Death Eaters. Everyone but Sirius and Dumbledore looked a little sick at the thought of Harry killing people. It made Harry’s mind ache. But, as if reading his mind, at that moment Severus walked around from the kitchen to the living room. He caught Harry’s eyes and nodded at him, just a little. That tiny affirmative action gave Harry enough confidence to continue with his story, and he began to tell them about his one-on-one fight with the Dark Lord.

Harry had gotten to the point in his story where he had to confess that he intended to die. This was the hardest part to admit, because he knew how it would make them feel. He wanted nothing more than to sink under the table and fall into oblivion, but he couldn’t. Snape’s stare never left him and it had an energy all it’s own, forcing him to keep talking, to keep remembering. Tears slid down Hermione’s cheek, and Sirius visibly paled. Dumbledore’s happy face was dark and his hands shook. Harry felt nauseous.
tol told them all about the battle between their minds. He recounted how he flooded Voldemort with happiness, and how he had gotten control. He swallowed hard, and finally finished his story with absorbing the core, and killing the body. Here came the clincher.

Harry made eye contact with Severus one more time, just for luck, and began to roll up his sleeve. Ron jumped when he saw the mark, and Hermione started crying a little harder. Sirius seemed to be more interested than upset. He reached out and traced it. Once Harry was done talking, everyone sat in silence staring at the mark. Harry wanted nothing more than to roll his sleeve down again, but an invisible force seemed to coerce him into sitting perfectly still. Then, for the countless time, Severus stepped in to save him.

“My mas gos gone,” Severus said softly, and the room jumped. He rolled up and bared his forearm to prove it. “That makes Harry the only person to carry the Dark Mnow.now. That proves that Voldemort is fully and totally gone. He isn’t living inside Harry, and he isn’t just a shadow of life. He’s totally and forever gone.” Harry sighed, and rolled down his shirt, and pulled Hermione into a hug. She seemed the most shaken.

“Oh, Harry,” she said into his shoulder. “You didn’t need to hide from us,” she sobbed. Harry just ran his hand down her head.

“I didn’t want to make you all carry this with me,” Harry whispered to her, and she raised herself and sat back down. Harry just looked back and forth between his shaken friends.

“So, this why you didn’t take the defense job?” Dumbledore stated, rather than asked. He was perhaps the least shaken. Harry’s face fell, and he looked over sadly to his hero and mentor of seven years.

“Professor, you have to understand. I want this job more than anything, but I can’t let myself have it.”

“But WHY Harry?” Ron piped in, speaking for the first time since Harry had woken up.

“Because, Ron. I used a highly illegal and dangerous curse. The Ministry is not going to let that slide if they find out. I have to stay out of the public eye.” Hermione, Ron, Sirius, and Remus lowered their heads in agreement. Severus’s eyes darted from one person to another and he could feel the energy bubble up in him.

“Oh for Merlin’s sake!” he said, and it startled everyone for a second time and they turned to look at him. “Haven’t you been haienouenough yet for the message to sink in. The world loves you! I do agree there are a lot of ill mannered, moronic Gryffindors running around, still under the delusion that doing what’s right is the most important thing, and quite a few occupy this room, but, I think people will agree that under these circumstances, the end justifies the means! You’ve killed VOLDEMORT; I am pretty sure that is going to make a larger impression than how you did it. The world is full of ignorant people. They’ve gotten what they wanted, and they are much more likely to overlook the circumstances than crucify their hero.” Harry looked angry. He squirmed in his chair and fidgeted with his shirt.

“And what if they don’t?” he said, with anxiety in his voice. “I can’t go to Azkaban. I'm not strong enough to live through that, even if my heart makes it out beating.” Sirius looked seriously uncomfortable. Remus’s hand wiggled its way back into his lover’s.

“What’s your other option? Are you going to live like this, with the truth hanging over your head? Your conscience can be worse than any dementor.” Severus stopped to calm down a little. “It’s your decision, but I just want you to remember that if you aren’t really living, you’re dead all ready. I know that from personal experience.” Severus kept his eyes firm, but their glance softened. Harry really wanted to hug him, but he refrained. He had all ready made enough embarrassing confessions for one day. He just tried to send Severus some mental comfort. It was the most he could offer right now.

Finally, he relaxed himself a little. Everyone was looking at him, but he had gotten used to it. He finally cocked his head toward Hermione, who was currently working her way up the Ministry. He cast his gaze on her apprehensive face, and smiled a little.

“Hermione, how exactly would I go about setting up a press conference?” Severus smiled, and for the first time in two days, his mind really calmed. Maybe this would be all right after all...

~*~

The day was so bright it was sickening. Sun poured in from everywhere and it made Harry nervous and uncomfortable. He had spent the last two months in hiding, and on that day near the end of July, the sun made him feel out of place. He was too used to the dark.

Harry was dressed nicely. He had adorned trendy summer robes and a short sleeved white button down. He looked smart as he stood on the white marble steps of the Head Office for the Ministry of Magic. Behind him stood the Minister himself, who had stepped out to witness whatever news was so big that Harry Potter himself had needed to call a press conference. Next to him, Hermione, Ron, and Dumbledore, as well as Arthur and Percy Weasley, stood in support. A few people Harry didn’t recognize also stood in the background, waiting for the show to start.

Reporters from every wizarding publication around the globe were gathering around the steps. Wards had been placed all around the whole affair to ensure that they would be safe from Muggles and the general wizarding public. Harry could feel the muscles in his chest tighten as he looked around the huge crowd that had gathered. Everyone carried Dicto-Quills and other ways to record the statements he would make. They almost all had cameras and press passes, and they chatted amongst themselves about what was about to be said and what the commotion could possibly be about.

However, there was one person among the sea who had none of these things. Severus Snape, one of the only people Harry insisted be allowed clearance, stood all the way to the back. He wore heavy winter robes and stood very tall, looking out of place and annoyed. Harry couldn’t feel anything more than gratitude that he had come. His presence reminded Harry of why he was there, and what was on the line. Eventually the clock struck twelve, and it was time to speak. Harry cast a Sonorus Spell; let the fun begin.

“Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to thank you all for coming. I have called you all here for a good reason. I am sure you are all aware I’ve been less than forthcoming about details that were involved in the death of Voldemort. Well, there is a reason for that as well, and it’s one I am not proud of.

“The first thing you need to understand is that Voldemort was not human. His body no longer followed the rules of physics, and therefore, nothing as simple as Avada Kedavra would have killed him. After careful research, I determined that it was not his body that needed to die, but his mind. The decision came easily after that.” Some of the more intelligent reporters caught on to what he was saying and a low hum started within the crowd, everyone speculating as to what could have happened.

“I used the Intromamatian curse to link my mind with the mind of the Dark Lord. I chose this curse because when performed, if not done perfectly, it kills both people involved. However, it’s very difficult to invoke, and has been generally forgotten about. But, due to the link that had already resided between Voldemort and myself from the first incident when I was a baby, I was able to correctly perform the spell. I overtook his mind, and to fully kill him, I was forced to absorb the core.” A collective cry rang through the room. People talked among themselves and stared in shock. Harry stood there, looking out amongst the people. The only person not being overrun with emotion was Snape. He stood calm and looked sad. Harry rolled up his sleeve.

Screams amplified and pictures were snapped so fast that it resembled a lightning storm. “Because I absorbed the core, I have also taken the Dark Mark, as well as the mark that is associated with the spell. I am the only person with the mark, signifying that Voldemort is totally and undisputedly dead. His body would also carry the spell mark.

“I’ve been very nervous about coming forth with this information. I was totally aware of the legal implications of mind-melding curses, but I totally believed that it would kill the Dark Lord and myself, and therefore, I wasn’t expecting to have to deal with the consequences. After some counseling, I decided to tell people about what happened, in hopes that the era of the Dark Lord can be put behind us. I appreciate you all coming,” Harry finished, and immediate shouts of “MR. POTTER!” rang, as the reporters wanted to ask questions. Harry just turned away and canceled the Sonorus Spell. He turned to Hermione and everyone else, and they smiled at him. Then he turned to Fudge. He certainly wasn’t smiling.

“I’m afraid we’ll have to take you into custody, Harry,” Fudge said, and Dumbledore pushed through with an angry look on his face.

“Surely there is no need for that, Cornelius,” Dumbledore started, but Harry reached out an arm and silenced the man.

“I understand, Sir.” And he handed over his wand. Some of the people Harry didn’t recognize took him by the arm and led him toward the large oak doors of the Ministry. Harry looked behind him, and he could see his dumbfounded friends standing there, as well as the hundreds of excited reporters. But the one image that stood out for him was Severus, looking sad and yet standing perfectly still. Harry could almost hear the promise of the necessary evils of war as he slipped behind the doors and disappeared from sight.

**Authors Note** I just wanted to write you all something nice here. First off, I would like to thank all of you who have reviewed. I know Yahoo makes it more difficult than FF.Net and I appreciate all the kind words you've put forth. Secondly, I'd like to let you all know that this isn't the only fic I am working on. I am doing Moon-watchers challenge, and one story for the fuh-Q. I hope to do more than one for the fest, but I am still a little unsure of myself...we'll see. But no matter what I take on, this will be my first priority. The ending is in site. Thank you all for keeping up with reading this. I love you for it!!!