Anything for Love

Chapter 11

I apparate to the Burrow. I’m late. It’s my own
damned fault, if I would have just taken a shower and not lured Harry into the
bath, I would have been on time. But no, I had to be the seductress, the vixen.
I think I have created a monster; the man is insatiable. I brush the imaginary
lint from my robes as I step into the living room.

I look up to see Ron sitting on the couch, staring
absently into the fire. I’m glad I didn’t come by Floo. I probably would have
scared the poor man to death. I clear my throat to make my presence known and
he turns to look at me. He is smiling, albeit not wholeheartedly, but he is
smiling at me. I smile back. Suddenly I realize why we are here, and the
butterflies in my stomach are now the size of bludgers and are flying around as
fast as they can.

“Hi, ‘Mione,” he says as he stands and steps toward
me.

I envelope him in a reassuring hug. “Hello, Ron. He He pulls back and grins cheekily at me. “What?” I
ask and he shakes his head chuckling.

“You’re late.”

“I know, I got held up. I had some things to…
finish.” My god, did that sound stupid? It did from this end.

“I see.” There is a devilish glint in his blue eyes.
He knows that Harry and I had sex. How did I think I could get it past him? I
was married to him for ten years, for Cerce’s sake. Of course he would see the
afterglow.

“Oh, bugger off, Ron.”

“Ooo, such language,” he teased. “So… how was it?” I
look at him, astonished. How could he ask such a thing? I can’t believe him.
Here we are getting ready to inform our children that we are divorced and he
wants me to tell him how sex was with his best friend. I could be mean and tell
him it was the best sex I ever had. It’s true, but I’m not that cruel.

“That, Mr. Weasley, is none of your business!” I
said triumphantly, thinking that would be the end of the conversation, but
alas, I was wrong.

“By the look in your eyes, and the glow surrounding
you, it was pretty damn good.” I cn’t n’t help but blush. I damn my body for
betraying me. “It’s alright, Hermione. I know you love him. I want you to be
happy. I couldn’t do that, he can, and obviously has.” He raises a ginger
eyebrow at me. He reminds me of a redheaded Snape. I grab the closest pillow
and throw it at him. That’s what throw pillows are made for anyway, right?

That one thrown pillow starts a melee of sorts, and
Ron and I start hitting each other with pillows and tickling. I can’t help but
laugh. He knows every spot I’m ticklish and he uses that to his advantage. The
two of us are rolling around on the floor attacking each other like we did when
we were kids in the common room at Hogwarts. I miss those days, sometimes. He
hits me hard upside the head with a pillow and I lunge for his legs. I grab his
feet and start to rip his shoe off when we are interrupted by two pairs of eyes
looking questioningly at us form the kitchen door.

Ron jumps away from me and sits on the couch. “Hi
kids.” I try to tame the mass of tangles out of my hair with my fingers as I
sit next to Ron on the couch. Arthur and Candace come to sit in front of us.

“Grandmum, said you wanted to talk to us,” Arthur
speaks first. I can tell he is confused. He knows something is wrong, and he’s
probably wondering why, if something is wrong, were we wrestling and tickling
each other. I take a millisecond and ask myself the same question. I think we
needed the tension breaker. Yeah, that’s it, I convince myself.

“Yes, your mum and I want to let you know some
things.” Ron sounds so scared. I subconsciously grab his hand, reassuring him,
that we can do this. “Kids, your mum and I are…”

Words have seemed to fail him and I try to take
over, with no avail. “Kids,… um… what your dad is trying to say is…” That’s
when my brilliant nine-year-old son decides to take matters into his own hands.

“You’re getting divorced, aren’t you?” God, I have
never heard him sound so broken, so weak. I look into his brilliant blue eyes,
just like Ron’s, and I nod. That’s all I can do. What am I supposed to say?

“What’s di-forced?” Candace asked in her sweet
little voice. I reach over for her and pull her into my lap.

I take a deep breath and try to explain it so her
three-year-old little mind can understand it. “Baby, a divorce is when
two people who are married, decide to not be married anymore.”

She looks at me with her big brown eyes and asks
innocently, “Mummy, don’t you love Daddy? When you love somebody, you’re
s’posed to marry them.”

My tears are slowly filling my eyes. Why does this
have to be so hard, when it was so easy for us to decide this? “Yes, baby, I
love your daddy. I always will. But I think that Daddy and I are better friends
than we are being married to each other.”

“That’s bullocks, and you know it!”

“Arthur Frederick Weasley, you watch your language.”
I try to hide a chuckle at the idea of Ron scolding anyone for cursing. But at
the same time, I absently wonder where Arthur learned such language. I will
have to talk to the twins, about that.

“You guys are going to get divorced and then we will
have to choose who we want to stay with. You will use us as pawns like in
chess.” Of course he would use that analogy, he is Ron’s son after all. “I
don’t want to have to go back and forth from one house to another. I like it
the way it is.”

Ron looks at our son, who seems so grown-up for
being nine. “Do you really like it, the way it is? That I’m never home, that
your Mum and I fight? Artie, I know you don’t like it.”

“How do you know what I like and don’t like? And
don’t call me Artie!” I can’t believe that my son, my non-redheaded son, is
yelling at the top of his lungs at his father… and Ron’s taking it.

“I’m sorry… Arthur. Do you like seeing your Mum sad?
Do you like me not being home? Do you like having to…” I can tell Ron is having
a hard time with this and I try to step in.

“Arthur, dear. Your dad and I still love each other.
We have been friends since we were eleven. But we are better friends that we
are husband and wife. We’re not in love with each other anymore. I can’t make
your Dad happy and he can’t make me happy. It’s better this way.” I see the
crestfallen expression on Ron’s face and my heart breaks. That sounded so much
harsher than it did in my head. I mentally kick myself with the foot I just
extracted from my mouth.

I am brought out of my self-defamation by a small
hand tugging on my sleeve. “Do you still love us, Mummy?” Candace’s sweet face
looks from me to Ron. “Daddy?”

I squeeze the little person in my arms. “Yes, baby,
we both love you two very much. We want what is best for our family, and we
think that it would be best if Mummy and Daddy weren’t married anymore.”

“Can we all live in the same house?” she asks. I
love her. She is so sweet, so innocent. How can I break her heart like this?

“No, baby. Uncle Harry has invited us to stay with
him for a while.” I hear Ron snort under his breath. “Daddy is going to still
live in our house, so when you see Daddy, you will stay there.”

“Why does he get to stay in the house? He’s never
there! Why do we have to find another place to live, why can’t he?” That boy is
most definitely a Weasley.

“Arthur,” I say warningly. “Harry offered us a place
in his home, so that your dad did not have to move all of our stuff out at
once. Your dad has the money from his job to pay for the house. I don’t have a
job right now, how am I supposed to pay for it?” I am saying this as calmly as
possible.

Ron shudders and whispers toward me, “I would have
paid for it ‘Mione.”

“Yeah, Mum. My friend, Christopher’s parents are
divorced and his dad pays his mum alley money.”

“That’s alimony, dear, and I don’t want your
dad’s money. I have some money in my Gringotts account that we can use until I
get a job.” I want to go to work. I miss working. I miss the excitement of
learning and teaching. That’s what I can do… teach. Maybe I can get a job at
Hogwarts as a teacher, or even a librarian. I heard Madam Pince is planning on
retiring soon. I didn’t realize that I was thinking out loud until Ron looked
at me strangely.

“You don’t want my money? Hermione, I will pay you
all the money in the world, if you need it.”

“Ron, it’s not about money. It’s about being happy,
and you know that money does not make me happy. I want other things out of life
than money.” I guess that pacifies him for the moment, as he turns away from me
and looks at the ground.

“Arthur, please. This is hard for us too. But you
have to understand, that this is for the best.” Ron says trying to stay calm
and collected. I am very proud of him.

“That’s what you say, Dad. But Christopher’s parents
hate each other. They are always fighting and putting Chris in the middle of
it. I don’t want to be in the middle of it.” I see tears running down his
freckled face, before I can reach out to him, Ron has pulled him onto his lap.

“Arthur, I don’t hate your mum, I could never hate
her. She is my best friend. I hope she still feels the same about me. We will
still talk, and maybe we can all have dinner sometimes, but your mum and I just
don’t get along very well when were married. I’m sorry, son. I love you and I
didn’t want to upset you.” Ron gave Arthur a small kiss at his temple. Ron
never shows affection like that. My heart leaps at this new breakthrough. Why
does it take this for him to show that he loves his son? Why does it have to be
too late?

“Son, I am leaving the choices up to you. I know you
are not happy with us right now, and I understand. Your mum has arranged things
with your Uncle Harry to stay with him. When you want to come see me, just send
me an owl or Floo me, and I will be there. If you want to set it up so that you
and Candi can stay with me every other week or weekend, that is up to you.”

I look from Ron to Arthur and then down to Candace,
who has fallen asleep in my arms. Her tiny face is streaked with tears, and I
am torn apart. I look back up at my son. “Arthur, you do understand why this is
happening don’t you?” I ask softly.

“Yes, Mum. I understand. I have seen you cry when
Dad is gone. I know you’re not happy. I see you fighting with Dad when he’s
late. I know he’s not happy. I’m not happy either. I just want it to be the way
it used to be. When we would sit at the table and eat together. When you would
read to me in front of the fire while Dad was reading the sports section of the
Daily Prophet. I want Candi to know how happy we used to be.” My heart is now a
pile of mush on the floor. We have crushed our son. When did he become so
philosophical? I reach out and rub his arm lightly.

He looks up at me and sees the tears in my eyes. He
looks at Ron and sees the same in his. “Why don’t you love each other anymore?”

Ron looks at me like he’s asking permission to tell
the truth. I nod, but speak before he can. “Arthur, I have fallen in love with
someone else. He makes me happy.” Let me take the blame, Ron has enough hurdles
to jump in his relationship with Arthur, no use making it worse. Ron’s eyes are
huge as he looks at me. That’s right Ron, let Arthur be mad at me.

“Mum? Why?”

I look deeply into those blue eyes, “You’ll learn
someday, that you can’t control who you fall in love with. I love your father,
but I am in love with this other man. Like I said, he makes me happy.” I
force a smile. I hate breaking my son’s heart, but I know he’ll understand
someday. I watch as he looks over at Ron.

“It’s all right, son. I want your mum to be happy.
That’s all I want. She deserves it, and I can’t give it to her.”

“But what if Mum decides to marry this other guy?”
Ron looks at me with a small grin on his face. He’s testing me. I dove in headfirst
and now I must try to keep from drowning.

“Arthur, if that is going to happen, it will
probably be a long way away. But if I decide to get married later, the man will
be you’re stepfather. He will not try to replace your dad. Your dad is your
dad. No one can take that from you.” That sounded good. Where did that come
from? My mind is so far out of it; I’m surprised I can even make a coherent
thought.

“And if I decide to get married again, the woman
would not try to replace your mum. She carried you in her belly for nine
months, she gave birth to you. No one can ever replace that. Alright?”

Arthur nods, and wipes his tears fiercely with his
sleeve. “Now go and get your things, so that your mum can take you to Uncle
Harry’s.” Arthur gets up from his father’s lap, but before he can move to go up
the stairs, he wraps his arms around Ron’s neck.

“I love you, Dad.”

Ron closes his eyes. I can tell he’s holding back the
tears. “I love you, too, Arthur.”

Arthur pulls away and heads to the stairs. “Dad?”
Ron turns to look at him. “You can call me Artie, if you want.”

Ron smiles and shakes his head. “No, Arthur, you’re
too grown up to be an Artie. Arthur fits you much better.” Arthur smiles as
best he can before trudging up the stairs.

My arm is falling asleep under the weight of Candace
and I try to maneuver her so I can lay her down on the couch. Ron stops me and
takes her from my arms. He hugs her tight to his body, her red curls falling
over his arm. The tears are now falling unchecked down his cheeks. I reach up to
my face and realize that I am crying too.

He looks up at me with bloodshot eyes. “I’m sorry,
Hermione.”

I move closer to him and wrap my arms around him.
“Ron, you don’t need to apologize. We can both be happy now.” He kisses me
lightly on the forehead and does the same to our daughter.

“It’s better this way.” I’m not sure if he is trying
to convince me or himself and I squeeze his hand in mine. We sit there together
looking at our beautiful girl. A slight sniffling comes from the kitchen door,
and I look up to see Molly standing there, kneading her apron in her hands.

Before she can burst into tears, I stand up and wrap
her in a hug, “Oh, Molly. It’s alright.”

“I know, dear. I know you both are wonderful parents
and I know that this is the best for you and the kids. I just don’t want you to
think, Miss Hermione, that you can just ignore us now. You are a part of this
family as much as anyone else, including Harry. Don’t be a stranger.” I smile
at her scolding tone. She can be very intimidating at times. Right now, though,
with her voice cracking from unshed tears, the ferocity just isn’t there.

I hug her fiercely. She is the closest thing I have
to a mother, now. I could never let her go. “Molly, I don’t think the kids
would let me be a stranger.” I chuckle lightly and she kisses my cheek.

“I love you, Hermione, dear. You know, if you want,
you can call me Mum, everyone else does.”

I look her straight in the eye and smile. “I love
you, too… Mum.”

With that she nods and leaves the room. I am
assuming to let out the tears she has been holding back. I turn to look at Ron
who was putting Candace down on the couch. He turns to me and kisses me softly
on the lips. “I’ve got to run.” I nod at him. This is goodbye. “I love you
‘Mione.”

“I love you too, Ron.”

He starts to walk out the door and then turns
suddenly, “Mum’s right. You are a part of this family. Don’t be a stranger.”

I smile at him and he returns it genuinely. “I
won’t. But you have to agree to the same.”

He nods and reaches out his right hand. I shake it.
“Agreed,” he said.

“I’ll see you later, Ron.”

“Yeah, I’ll see you later. Bye ‘Mione.” I watch the
door as he walks away and disapparates. I close my eyes and sigh, trying to
contain the tears that threaten to spill. I have cried enough. I don’t need to
cry anymore. This is for the best. I walk back into the living room and pick up
Candace in my arms. “Yeah, this is for the best.” I say to no one in particular
before heading upstairs to collect my son and go home.