Unjust Peace

A/N Mega thanks to Nerys and Serp for beta-ing this chapter. You two rule!
Since I went completely mad with all the formating, Nerys did this and the next, last chapter that I have written. After that..well, you'll have to wait for updates.

Chapter 12
xxxxxx
Insanity knew he had to be careful. He had this ugly feeling in his gut, a feeling that drove him nuts.

Insanity knew he was insane, but he was not stupid. He was far from being stupid, just crazy, he thought.

However, while being all giggly and happy about his new toys, he was also a bit scared. One of his four toys was scaring him, and it definitely was not Death or Fate; it was that tall guy that arrived with Hermione.

Hermione Jean Granger was his friend, so Insanity already knew her pretty well. The other guy, however, was a mystery to him - there definitely was something off about him, and it scared Insanity big time.

So, his plans had to be amended a bit, Insanity decided. He would not approach the holy four until he understood what was wrong with Red Eyes.

xxxxxxx

Death was still sobbing in the corner when Fate received her "spa" treatment from Voldemort.

"What are you doing?" Hermione screamed at Voldemort. It was one thing to Crucio the shit out of Death, who was responsible for all those horrible days Hermione had to spend with the Dark Lord, but the old lady? They hadn't even met her!

"Before you receive your portion of my favorite treatment, I can answer your question," the Dark Lord answered in happy voice. "Look at this thing." At that, Voldemort nodded his head towards the old lady who was writhing on the floor under the Cruciatus Curse. "It is another form of that motherfucker who played games with me."

Hermione looked closer at the old lady, and with disbelieving eyes, she turned to Voldemort.

"The same one who was supposed to be on our side?" Hermione asked quietly.

"Yup," was all Voldemort said.

"Then why are you torturing him or … her now?" Hermione demanded to know.

She couldn't believe it. They were in some completely crazy place with an insane Harry who cast Fiendfyre as if it were a mere Lumos; they had Death sobbing in the corner after receiving an extremely powerful and long Cruciatus; and now, Voldemort was torturing the only person who was on their side.

"He, or she, called me a moron." Voldemort smirked at the old lady after finishing the curse and turned to Hermione.

"Your turn, bitch!" Death managed to bark from her corner.

"I am your only hope!" Hermione grabbed Voldemort's robes and didn't let go, even though he tried to push her away.

"Without me, you will become her favorite toy!" Hermione tried to persuade the Dark Lord, all the while glaring at Death.

However, if Death's and even old lady's smirks were any indication, then she was also in for a ride.

"I have a fragile mind," Hermione tried again.

Voldemort smirked and pointed his wand at her.

"I will call you Tommy boy for the rest of our lives!"

Bad idea, Hermione thought when she saw what effect it had on the Dark Lord.

"Cruci-"

Voldemort's curse was interrupted by a maniacal laugh coming from a person who was approaching them from the left side of the manor.

"Oh shit," they all heard Fate say.

In unison, they turned towards the approaching figure who still kept laughing. When the insane laugh turned into a sob, all four travelers shared a knowing look. One more insane weirdo was coming their way.

xxxxxxx

Hermione saw the figure of a female with long, dark locks approaching them.

Putting two and two together, Hermione came to the conclusion that they were going to be graced with the presence of none other than Bellatrix Lestrange.

Another burst of insane laughter followed by a cry of frustration just cemented her guess.

All they needed now was Bellatrix because they had such a boring company: Death, Fate, Hermione and the Dark Lord Voldemort.

When, whom Hermione believed to be Bellatrix Lestrange, came closer and some light from the opened windows illuminated her figure, Hermione really, really wished that she had been correct. However, with dawning horror, she saw herself approaching their group.

With increasing interest, Voldemort looked at the "Mudblood Volume Two" as he started to call her in his mind.

She looked like trash: tiny pink skirt, red bra and slippers accompanied by red eyes with no pupils and make-up that rivaled even Bellatrix's. Even Voldemort, who didn't spend his free time reading fashion magazines, knew when enough was enough.

However, he could still appreciate good things when he saw them.

"Nice tits, Mudblood," Voldemort pronounced mockingly, looking at the real Hermione, who in turn, glared at him.

"Maybe we'll see you in strings," she bit back, "so, better shut up!"

Death and Fate tried to keep a straight face, but those two were too hilarious to be true, and they failed miserably.

"What the hell are you?" Hermione asked her whorish clone.

"I am not hell. I am Barmony Jane, but all friends call me Barmy!" the clone cried all of the sudden, making all four cringe.

"I wonder why," Hermione and Voldemort voiced their thoughts in unison.

"Barmy, Barmy, Baaaaarmy!" the insane clone roared and jumped towards Voldemort.

Barmy Jane or be it the Princess of the Moon herself, Voldemort did not like people jumping at his mighty persona.

"Crucio!"

And with that, Barmy was on the floor, laughing and crying under the torture curse.

Death and Fate moved from their respective corners to stand closer to Voldemort.

Both Fate and Death decided that it was better to get some shitty curses from Voldemort than to interact with the weirdos from this place. They had known Insanity for a very long time, and not even Fate could predict what that fucker could come up with or what he had already done to this place.

Hermione also moved closer to The Dark Lord, even grabbing his sleeve in desperation when the doors of the main hall opened and someone came in.

xxxxxxx

Upon seeing one of his best friends on the floor, writhing in agony, Harry James Potter laughed. And cried.

"Barmy! Why didn't you invite meeeee?" Harry crawled towards Barmy who was now lying still.

Voldemort had broken the connection of the curse as soon as Potter walked in.

"You! Why did you let her have fun without meeee?" Harry roared and sobbed, glaring at the Dark Lord through his broken glasses.

"Do you know who I am, Potter?" the Dark Lord inquired.

If Granger was here as Potter's friend, then, where was he himself? And how the fuck did Potter manage to become a Dark Lord?

"Daddy?" Harry answered eagerly.

Hermione coughed so hard that she thought for a second that she lost a lung in the process. Death hid her face in Fate's dress. Fate bit her cheeks so hard that she could taste blood in her mouth. Voldemort himself was smiling. Potter was not only a moron with the mind of a two-year-old, but he was also insane. How wonderful.

"No, I am not your daddy, Potter. But I can show you some fun as well if you want."

Voldemort was talking to Harry in a calm, endearing voice, as if he were talking to a complete retard. Well, he was actually talking to a retard, Voldemort decided and continued his play.

"Do you want to see some funny spells, Harry?" Voldemort asked nicely.

"Waaaa, YES!" the Pyro Lord cried in joy.

With dawning horror, Hermione saw Voldemort make a swift movement with his wand, and she just knew what was going to come from that wand. No way was she going to let Voldemort kill Harry again. It didn't matter that this one was as insane as Voldemort was. So, Hermione grabbed The Dark Lord's hand and jumped on him, thus restraining him from any movement.

"You bitch! I will not let you stop my new friend from playing with me!" Harry cried in despair and cast Incendio on Hermione, who was still tangled with Voldemort's form.

The spell did not reach them as, it seemed, Voldemort did not need to point his wand to cast a simple Aguamenti.

The Dark Lord grabbed Hermione's hair, making her huge brown eyes look straight into his red ones.

"You better behave, Granger." Voldemort kissed her tenderly on the nose before pushing her to the ground and finally casting his favorite curse on her.

His Cruciatus was short, as he didn't want Granger to go all barmy as well. One of them was more than he could bear. However, nobody jumped on his almighty body without permission. Nobody.

Hermione looked up from the floor, relieved that the pain was gone. She winced briefly. If that was a mild Crucio, as she knew it was, then she really felt sorry for Death, whose legs and arms still twitched from time to time. Well, maybe she would feel more sorry if them being here wasn't all Death's fault. Come to think of it, she hoped Death really, really hurt. Her best friend … well, his alter ego, but still ... a Harry had cast a spell on her that could have caused some major damage. Hell, it could've even killed her, Hermione thought upset. So, Voldemort was right. This was not Harry, in any shape or form. It was some crazy shit, and if Voldemort felt like having fun with it, then she would let him be.

Without any further disturbance, Voldemort smiled and pointed his wand at an eagerly awaiting Harry.

"Avada Kedavra!"

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"You can't do that!" Death threw her cards onto the round table that Hermione had conjured almost two hours ago.

"Yes, I can. It's not like I am cheating!" Fate replied and put another point after her name.

Fate-89.
Death-0.

Death always had known that playing poker against Fate was not a good idea. Now she was a thousand dollars short. Annoyed, Death glared at Hermione who was still trying to persuade her barmy clone to dress up and remove the make-up. Death and Fate had been playing Poker for the last two hours, and it was getting boring, so Death called Hermione.

"Hermione, do you want to bet?" she asked the witch who had given up on her moronic clone and was now just wandering around.

"On what?" Hermione replied somewhat relieved. She was so bored that she felt she would soon join her barmy clone in her happy club.

"How many times more Voldemort will cast the Killing Curse in vain?"

Death moved closer to Hermione and was now observing the object of their betting.

"Avada Kedavra!" was heard again and Hermione sighed.

"Fine. I bet: five more times and he'll return," Hermione bet.

"I say ten more at least before he gets back," Death bet.

"And what is the price for the winner?" Hermione asked when she heard two "Avada Kedavras" in a row followed by loud cursing and a frustrated, nearly desperate cry. Apparently, Lord Voldemort's inability to cast his normally most effective curse made him lose it completely. Of course, it didn't help that the target in question was one who had a track record of evading his Killing Curse in whatever realm he was in.

"Ten dollars," Death offered.

"Sure, why not?" Hermione wondered if she was still sane. Betting with Death on how many times Voldemort would cast the Killing Curse on the still-alive-and-even-crazier-than-before Harry Potter before he got tired didn't sound like the thing sane people would do.

"Fuck you, Potter!" was heard from the hallway, and soon, both Death and Hermione saw Voldemort march into the room.

"Nooo, please don't go! I need three more, otherwise I am not pretty!" a whiny voice belonging to Harry Potter was getting closer as well.

Soon, a running figure of Harry Potter covered in lightning bolt scars all over his face was seen as well.

"I need two on my arse cheeks and one … there!" Harry screamed in agony, pulling down his pants to reveal his balls and penis. As soon as he saw that he had the attention of all the occupants of the room, he started shaking his equipment all the while crying out for "more".

Even Death stood quietly at the sight. She was sooo glad that she had never been close to Insanity until that fucker was locked up for good. Well, for good …

Fate kept trying to erase that vision from her mind.

Hermione was trying to shake Voldemort into action. " What are you staring at? Just kill him already!" She was still three more Avadas away from beating Death in their bet after all.

"Kill him?" Voldemort roared at Hermione. "And what the fuck do you think I have been doing for the last two hours: Cleaning the fucking house? Every fucking Avada hits that fucker, and every fucking time, he faints. Then, he jumps up happily with another fucking scar on his body. He even started to show me places where I should point the curse to! His arse and dick!" Voldemort continued screaming in frustration.

"Do I look like a fucking decorator to you?"

The decorator shook Hermione who kept staring at him with huge unblinking eyes.

Hermione turned to Death for confirmation.

Death sighed dramatically and answered Hermione's silent question.

"Yes, I have no power here, so no one can die." Death continued before anybody could become too excited, "They just go insane."

Barmy decided that she had had enough- no one was paying her attention!

"Dwaca!" she roared into empty space.

"What is a 'dwaca?'" Hermione whispered to Death who was busy giving Hermione her well deserved ten dollars.

Death frowned and tried to think of any creature that went by the name of Dwaca. Getting no results, Death turned to Fate who also shook her head in a silent "no."

"Voldemort, who or what is a 'dwaca?'" Hermione finally asked the Dark Lord who was pacing back and forth, annoyed beyond imagination.

"How the fuck should I know? With Barmy and Pyro, it could be anybody," he snapped back.

"Too true, it's Insanity's realm, so anything could be possible," Fate mused quietly.

"Insanity?" Hermione asked in horror. That explained it all.

"Yes. Insanity exists, just like Fate and I do. The only difference is that he was locked up in a cage deep down in Limbo ages ago. All gods and goddesses locked him up for good after he turned Innocence into a whore. How this shit escaped, we do not know," Death explained in a bored tone.

"We asked for help, but all our friends refused to come, too afraid of going off their rocker. Insanity will get to you if you touch him. So, in case you see anything: Don't touch it," Fate warned them.

"So, Harry and Barmy are affected? Can it be cured?" Hermione asked, hoping for an affirmative answer.

A loud snort came from Voldemort. Cured? he thought, amused. She obviously hadn't seen Potter's or Barmy's brains, which were non-existent.

Annoyed, Hermione glared at him. "Shut up, Voldemort. We are not telling jokes here, you know!"

"Volmorty?" They all heard Harry say.

"Say what?" Voldemort came closer to Harry before firing one Crucio. "My name is Lord Voldemort, you moron."

"Lo Valmora?" Harry asked happily. Maybe his friend would be in a good mood if he just repeated his name and would give him a new scar?
Harry was really angry at Barmy. They had drawn his first lightning bolt scar with iron scissors when it could be done with a fun spell that made you fly as well!

"Crucio."

A scream, then seconds later: "Vlmartoid?"

That didn't even sound similar, Voldemort thought, annoyed since his Cruciatus seemed as ineffective as his Killing Curse had been on Potty.

He was quickly becoming more irritated with this version than he'd been with the other one. At least that Potter had the decency to die and remember his name. Although, that Potter had had the nerve to call him Riddle. Perhaps they were equally moronic? His frustration grew and he barked out: "Crucio!"

"Voldemorta?" The Dark Lord heard maniacal laughter erupting from the Mudblood: the sane one. Well, sane until he was done with her for laughing at him.

"Vol-de-mmmortaa," Hermione repeated between laughing and coughing. This was way too good to be true.

Still hiccupping from laughter, even after one small Crucio, Hermione saw a new figure approach them.

"Dwaca!" Barmy roared again.

Lord Voldemort and Hermione Granger had similar expressions of pure disbelief on their faces. There, just a couple of meters from them, stood the one and only Draco Malfoy dressed in a small pink dress with a Russian made-for-the-North-Pole heavy hat with ears on his head.

"Masturs?" the before unidentified creature now known as Dwaca asked Pyro and Barmy in low, hushed voice.

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Lord Voldemort, after seeing pure-blood Malfoy Junior as a house-elf, did not even want to think where the hell he himself was. No doubt adopted by Dumbledore, or better yet, playing a doting husband and a father to a hoard of insane weirdos.

Now that they all were seated in a room prepared for guests, Voldemort had some major questions to ask, and he'd better receive proper answers as well. The "or else" part was left unsaid, as the other occupants of the room perfectly knew how that one ended.

Hermione sat on a large bed thinking over what she had found out.

Apparently, Insanity became Harry's (or what the hell it was, since it definitely was not Harry) friend at the age of five. After that … everything was history. Hermione asked her whorish clone, who kept eyeing the Dark Lord the entire time, where they learned magic, and in reply, she got: "School."

The facts that Hermione had in her head were pretty simple and straight to the point. And that made the situation even more awful.

Insanity was the Master of this realm, whereas Death and Fate had no powers here whatsoever.

Harry Potter became the Dark Lord knowing only three spells: one Fiendfyre, one Incendio and one Lumos. That was all he knew. And how to light a match.

Her whorish clone, Barmony Jane, also knew only three spells, and was deeply in love with fashion.

Hogwarts was never built.

Albus Dumbledore existed and was believed to be Harry's grandfather. The said grandfather was now in Alaska improving his tan. Hermione guessed he was also nutters.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, also known as Lord Voldemort, had never been born.

And that was a huge plus point. Since Voldemort was the only one here that didn't otherwise exist in this realm (Fate and Death did not count), then he was also the only one who could survive a meeting with Insanity.
Hermione truly believed that this was not the reason. She believed the truth was that Voldemort could drive anyone insane, Insanity itself included, and he already was "not there in the head."

Death voiced her thoughts. She believed that Voldemort's Horcruxes kept him stable here, but later, even Death gave up and agreed with Hermione.
Fate was silent, happy that they were away from those weirdos, who were caught outside the lovely room warded by Voldemort himself. Fate doubted that even Hogwarts had such wards as their room did now.

It was after "The Dwaca" showed up that they were offered a room to stay, well, two rooms to be exact. However, after Death, Fate and Hermione declared in unison that they were staying in the same room as Voldemort -at which he actually groaned in agony- they got one room on the second floor of the mansion.

Hermione looked up, finally emerging from her thoughts, to see Voldemort interrogate Fate and Death.

"I will go and catch that motherfucker you are so afraid of and I will bring him here to you. Is that clear?" Voldemort asked in happy voice. Finally, he had the upper hand in Death's realm.

Both Fate and Death nodded. Reluctantly, but they nodded anyway.

"So, I will ask again. Now that we have Granger back from her la-la land, I am asking once more. How do we escape the House of the Rising Sun?"

"I do not know!" Death cried in frustration. She had been trying to explain to Voldemort that every person had their own way out. How the hell was she supposed to know? "Ask Fate, not me. I just play with people and turn them into Dementors, that's all!"

Fate glared at Death who glared back.

A glare from Voldemort made Fate speak. "I also do not know. Everyone has their own destiny, their own way out!" She was also annoyed. Voldemort was either stupid or just wanted to torture them. She decided the last idea was the correct one.

"So, we are being thrown from one place to another and there is no secure way out?" Hermione interrupted Voldemort's investigation. She was as much of a victim as he was!

"Well, I wouldn't be so dramatic about it, Hermio-" Fate was interrupted by a double glare coming from Hermione and Voldemort.

"Fine. Then tell me this: Has anyone ever escaped this shitty place before?" Hermione asked.

Voldemort nodded; he also wanted to know. Because if the answer was no, he would kill them all here and now.

Death and Fate shared a look, before Death whispered a quiet, "Yes."

Hermione beamed, only to become annoyed a second later, when Fate added, "But we cannot tell you the names. It's a no-no for us; so you can torture us as much as you want, but we simply cannot tell you."

Voldemort groaned, and Hermione sat back onto the bed in defeat.

"How many escaped? You have to be able to tell us at least that." Voldemort just didn't give up.

Fate drew in a breath before deadpanning, "Only five."

"They all were in the same group?" Hermione immediately asked.

"No. The first one was alone. The others were indeed a group of four," Death answered. It still was a sore topic for her. Escapees, the nerve of those people! Especially with their almighty attitude- still coming and going from realm to realm as they pleased. No respect whatsoever!

"How?"

Again, Voldemort had to squeeze the answer from them. However, what Voldemort and Hermione heard made them a lot happier than they were before.

Death grimaced and nodded her head towards Fate.

"That bitch had other plans for them, so she helped them out as she has been helping you. But, mark my words, she will not succeed this time. Plus, you have no idea what she did to those five in the end!" Death finished her speech and went to sit on a couch away from the windows, the door and them.

Fate was just about to say something when they heard a loud banging on their door, followed by an annoying childish voice.

"Will you be my new friiiends, bitches?"

xxxxxxx

Fate and Death screamed. Hermione had a very strong grip on Voldemort's arm, and Voldemort just smirked.

Insanity, eh? Meet Lord Voldemort, bitch, he thought, opening the door with one swift movement and staring at the ugly child.

"Lord Voldemort ain't no bitch," the Dark Lord spoke slowly, pronouncing all the words carefully.

The child grimaced and very suddenly grabbed Voldemort's hand.

Fate and Death, now accompanied by Hermione, screamed.

"You are my new friend, Voldie-pooh!" Insanity declared with the shining smile of a winner - a smile that looked completely out of place on the child's ugly face.

"Voldie-pooh," Voldemort childishly repeated, "has a new friend!"

We are doomed, Fate and Death thought in unison. Now, their only hope was insane as well. They were all going to be psychos in the very near future.

Hermione looked in horror at the smiling Voldemort, who was now repeating his new nickname so many times she wanted to smack him. Hard. Repeatedly.

Nothing new there.

Please, please, not him, Hermione thought in desperation. They needed him. Oh, who cared about those other two bitches? She needed him. She couldn't escape her dementorish future without him.
Murderer and sociopath, who cares, as long he's on your side.

Plus, he could be nice sometimes, and he was really smart, a genius even, who was now reduced to a moronic Voldie-pooh.

"Voldie-pooh will play with me, play with me, play with me!" Insanity continued in a singing voice, all the while throwing mocking apologetic glances towards Death and Fate.

Fate was now hugging Death, prepared to go off their rocker, when Hermione felt that something was off. Something wasn't what it was supposed to be. She couldn't pinpoint what, but she was sure of it. Yet, she was the only one to notice that: Death was hugging Fate, whispering how sorry she was and what a great friend Fate had been. Harry-the-Pyro was standing next to Insanity with Barmy to his left and those three also seemed to be too engaged in their plays to take notice.

"And how do we start our gaaame?" the child asked Voldemort with a playful smile on its face.

"I know!" Voldemort, or what was left of him, cried out.

No, Hermione knew she'd been wrong. She just imagined that Voldemort somehow managed to escape going completely nutters. Now, she could see it clearly: He was as crazy as the rest of the barmy bunch.

"Tell me!" Harry cried, shoving Barmy aside.

"No, tell me!" Barmione Jane cried in anticipation.

"Silence!" Insanity roared, and all of them went eerily quiet.

"Voldie-pooh will tell me first! So, Voldie-pooh ..." Insanity rubbed its small hands together, waiting for some new game before he would turn Fate, Death and Hermione as well.

"We staaart …" Voldemort sang and, on purpose, pouted his lips and wrinkled his forehead, as if thinking hard.

"With?" Harry cried.

"With?" Barmy cried.

"With what?" Insanity eagerly asked.

"On the count of threeee!" Voldemort cried.

The three other morons started to count.

"One," Harry said.

"Two," Barmy said.

" Threee!" Insanity roared in happiness and anticipation.

"Here comes the Christmas Tree," Voldemort sang to the rhyme.

"Where?" the three weirdos asked in unison, looking around.

"Right here," Voldemort replied, pointing to the tip of his wand that was at eye-level with Insanity's head.

"Hehe?" Insanity laughed uncertainly.

"Hehe, it is. Crucio!" An extremely powerful Cruciatus Curse smashed into Insanity's head and sent the bothersome child down the staircase, crying in agony.

"The nerve of that shit!" The Dark Lord muttered, before firing a Killing Curse towards Insanity that instantly vanished.

The next second Lord Voldemort was being suffocated by three females.
Usually, The Dark Lord had nothing against three or foursomes, but now was not the time. He had a motherfucker to kill. Besides, no matter what people said, he didn't fancy ancient Grandmas. Yuck.

'Voldie-pooh, my ass,' Voldemort thought, annoyed, trying to push Death, Fate and Hermione off his important persona.

xxxxxxx

Insanity sat in the bushes near the house. His pants were wet since he'd pissed all over himself from the pain that the curse had inflicted.

Shivering and biting his pink nails, the old man kept sitting in the bushed, too afraid to come out.

He needed to send that spooky, red-eyed guy to some other realm, alongside with Fate, Death and Hermione. Even though they'd be lovely new toys, they weren't worth the pain the Boogie man would undoubtedly inflict on Insanity again.

Insanity thought that had he not been insane, he would have told himself: "I told you so."

No real Dark Lords in his small realm, please, he begged silently and stared at the sky. That bugger was just too scary.

xxxxxxx

A/N Hehehe…To be continued