Saving Her; Saving Us All
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Harry Potter › Threesomes/Moresomes
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
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34,376
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Category:
Harry Potter › Threesomes/Moresomes
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
Views:
34,376
Reviews:
67
Recommended:
4
Currently Reading:
3
Disclaimer:
Harry Potter, and all the characters associated there with belong to JK Rowling, Scholastic, and a bunch of people who are not me. I make no profit from this story and suing me would only yield a whole bunch of well-loved books
Rude Awakenings & Enemy Destruction
Spoilers: Up through Order of the Phoenix
Summary: A forgotten Prophecy may give be the key to ending the second war with Voldemort.
Author Note: Please note the age of consent both in my home state and in the UK, which covers London and Hogwarts (someone would have asked), is 16 years of age. Hermione Granger turned 16 on September 19th of the Golden trio's fifth year. Thank you and have a nice day.
My Dear Husband is a Poser Artist...a damn good one if I do say so myself. So he (under duress) created a Poser Cover art for my Lost Prophecy Story Saving Her; Saving Us All.
You can view it here: http:/mrsynnerster(dot)deviantart(dot)com/gallery/#/d30lozh
Hope you enjoy, and if you are over 18 feel free to view his other works.
Thanks to all who have reviewed. Especially to Voracious Reader at aff(dot)net. I absolutely love it when I get reviews from authors I love. Reviews really help me stay motivated. So many thanks to everyone who takes the time to leave a review.
CHAPTER 11
Rude Awakenings & Enemy Destruction
Albus Wulfric Percival Brian Dumbledore was working very hard. Working very hard trying to recoup some of his recent setbacks. The only thing Albus Dumbledore was missing to be considered the true power of the Wizarding world is a fortune exceeding anything seen before. Yet this summer, nothing had gone according to his plan. Sirius had gotten to Harry the moment the boy had gotten off the train. Somehow they'd found the means to cure the mudblood, and discovered his backup plan to get his hands on the Potter wealth. Then Arthur had divorced Molly, and let the world know that Ginny was in fact a Dumbledore.
That could have been a way to get back into Harry's camp. Merlin knows Ginny goes on and on about how in love the two of them are; but no Arthur had retained the girl as his ward. And to top it all, they had managed to cull all the most productive members of the Order of the Phoenix. From all the news Albus was getting, they were responding to Deatheater attacks, almost as evilly as the attackers. Cutting off a wand hand, causing a tongue to explode in someone's mouth, emasculating a wizard…these were not the actions of a light mage.
Albus conveniently ignored the fact that the three wizards who had been dealt with so "harshly" had been in the process of casting the killing curse at a muggle, crucioing a student, and preparing to rape a small child. No to Albus Dumbledore justice was just a word to be bandied about to amass more power.
As he paced back and forth in the country cottage he kept in County Claire Ireland, he was so engrossed in his manipulations and ruminations that he never noticed that his things were disappearing from all over the cottage. The truth of the matter is that what Dumbledore considered to be his summer cottage was actually one of the three homes he had appropriated from Billius Weasley's estate after the man had died in the war with Grindlewald. He had stolen it before the grieving widow could ensure her son's entire inheritance. Many of the widows of Dumbledore's generals had faced the same theft; however the Victorian attitudes of the Wizarding world towards money meant that most of them had no clue that there was anything missing.
Dumbledore's material possessions were being relocated by Goblin magic back to his rooms at Hogwarts, the only place he could truly claim as his own. Even as this was occurring, a Goblin tribunal was meeting with the required three members of good standing of the Wizengamot. Said tribunal was currently trying Albus WPB Dumbledore for the crimes of theft, embezzlement, subversion of the inheritance law of a Noble House, and the attempted subversion of the inheritance laws of a Most Ancient and Noble House. The Goblins actually had a host of other charges they could bring, but they had agreed to allow Sirius to bring the rest of the charges to the Wizengamot as a whole.
Within an hour of beginning the hearing, the Goblins with Madames Marchbank, Longbottom and Bones had found Dumbledore to be guilty of each of the charges before them. Before the Old Man had even started his day, all of his real and liquid assets in both the muggle and Wizarding world had been seized. All real estate had been returned to the name of its rightful heir or owner.
The liquid assets and following the trail of incoming and outgoing moneys is what had taken the Goblins the better part of the summer to unravel. All of the paper trails and transfer trails had to be followed to find the original source. In most cases it was from vaults, but often it was shuffled through many investment schemes and laundered through Dumbledore's brother's bar. But in the end the Goblins found every knut and sickle.
This investigation led them to ides to reverse engineer the Headmaster's spending, just to make sure they had not missed any illicit transfers or incomes. Noting that Dumbledore should have had four incomes, the yearly annuity from his Order of Merlin, and his salaries as Headmaster, Chief Warlock and Supreme Mugwamp; they examined his account with a fine toothed comb and found that the duplicitous bastard was receiving those four and an additional income, older than all the others, and originating from the main Malfoy vault. Unfortunately they were unable to link this to any wrong doing, and since the Malfoy family had levied no complaint the Goblins were forced to leave that in place. However they did take great pleasure in binding any future income from that source into a trust for Ginerva Molly Dumbledore.
As soon as the tribunal adjourned, the wards on all the reclaimed properties reset. Albus Dumbledore, soon to be former Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot, was unceremoniously ousted from the Irish Home he'd appropriated. Once more Shell Cottage stood empty waiting on a Weasley.
However Dumbledore's bad day was just beginning. As soon as he landed outside the Shell Cottage wards, a team of Aurors led by Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks was on the scene with magic suppression cuffs. One look at Shack and Tonks, however, and Dumbledore's ever agile tongue was stilled. These two wore not their usual affable visages. No, the smile on Kingsley's face looked more like that of a hungry shark spotting a large Marlin, rather than being in any way friendly.
As for Tonks, he would not call her by her hated first name even in his own mind while she was looking at him like that. Before he could gather his thoughts to attempt to talk his way out of whatever this was, or at least be able to call Fawkes, Albus found himself unable to do so. The cuffs Shack took great pleasure in slamming onto Dumbledore's old wrists had recently developed additions to the engraved runes.
These new runes ensured that the cuffs didn't simply suppress the common magic of wanded magic, but also wandless, and mental magics. The Unspeakables had been sold this rune scheme to augment the current cuffs. Fortunately the Department of Mysteries didn't fall under the purview of the Minister, and therefore were able to purchase the rune scheme brought to them despite the fact that the developer was a muggleborn witch. They had in fact added the rune scheme not only to the cuffs, and holding cells used by their department; but also to those used by the DMLE and the Wizengamot.
Seeing fear cross Dumbledore's face as he realized that in these cuffs he couldn't even practice the occlumency that would be needed to call Fawkes, Shack could not hold back his booming laugh. "No escape for you this time old man. I don't mind helping innocents avoid Fudge's idea of justice, but you certainly are not innocent of any of this.
Dumbledore looked over at Tonks. "Don't even look at me, you manipulative old bastard. You let my cousin, the head of my family rot away in Azkaban for a dozen years, and spend another two on the run, for a crime you knew full well that he didn't commit. You were the head of the Wizengamot; you could have called for a trial at any point. But you left him to rot. So that you could steal from his godson with impunity. So that you could control a boy that should have been a little brother to me; so that you could leave Harry alone and unloved in pain and slavery. Well fuck all that. You now get to see the Wizengamot from the other side, you Machiavellian tosser."
Dumbledore was quickly processed and placed in the most special of all the newly augmented cells. This cell was considered special because it was quite a bit larger than the others; it also had only one way in or out. Even the house elves could not pop into this cell. Earlier that morning, in anticipation of Dumbledore's arrival, the cell was even shrouded in Goblin wards, which further served to make sure that Dumbledore would be unable to escape should he manage to get a message to Fawkes.
As soon as he was left alone, Dumbledore made several attempts to focus his occlumency, or work any wandless magic; he realized exactly how untenable his position was. This realization just left him with two words tap dancing across his mind… "Bugger Me!"
********************************Sometimes Comfort is More for the Comforter***************************************
Meanwhile back at Grimmauld Place, the bonded were each reacting to the news of Dumbledore's tribunal, subsequent arrest and coming Wizengamot trial. Harry's predominant emotion was relief. The old meddler would soon be out of his hair. Fred and George were jubilant. While they had taken steps to ensure their own prosperity, Dumbledore's fall would mean that their father and family would have what was rightfully theirs. Severus, in all actuality, was still waiting. He didn't trust Albus Dumbledore as far as he could throw Hagrid; so Snape would wait and watch to see if a more hands on approach would be needed to get the manipulative old arse out of their lives for good.
Finally Sirius was conflicted. He was ecstatic and yet disappointed. He was jubilant and yet like Snape he was worried. All his differing emotions combined to leave the dark Marauder feeling more restless than he'd ever felt before. So being Sirius, who tried to never be serious, he decided to take his mind off of everything. So he went in search of Hermione.
He found her in the very large shower in their rooms. Stripping quickly he joined her. Sirius spun Hermione around and pressed her against the shower wall. He grabbed her thigh behind the knee and lifted her leg, entering her fiercely, roughly, without a word. Digging his hand into her hair, he fucked her forcefully, grunting his pleasure. "Your sexy little cunt squeezes me so bloody tight, Kitten." Sirius picked Hermione up battering her body between his own and the wall. "Love fucking you. You know that? So good. Always so ready. You know each of us- always ready for us." He said pumping faster and faster. He reached down and with a flick of his fingers on her clit sent Hermione screaming into a harsh Orgasm.
***Sirius PoV***
I was glad she had come…but I was in no way finished. I held her up while she rinsed the conditioner from the masses of her hair. As soon as that chore was accomplished, I kissed her deeply, and then whispered, "Aw Kitten…you are so good to all of us, and I treat you like this." Leading my still trembling kitten to the bed; I laid her down, hovering over her, dotting kisses over her face before I once more devoured her lips with my own. I planted wet kisses over the entire front of her form. I paid special attention not only to her nipples, but also to the creases under her breasts, the dips of her collar bone, the hollow of her navel, even her freshly washed toes.
Kitten was a writhing moaning puddle of arousal under my ministrations. Each kiss up the inside of her legs, brought me closer to her dripping fanny and drew a mewing whimper from her throat. When I finally lapped her from perineum to her mons and then latched onto her clit, Hermione's back arched completely off the bed as she cried out her orgasm to the heavens, Rolling her unprotesting body over, I grabbed Her hips and pulled her up onto her knees. "So Sexy kitten, you are so bloody sexy. Between you and Snivellus I swear, I'm hard enough to cut glass all day. Your arse is amazing." As I spoke I was rubbing my hands all over her back, hips and flank. Her skin was so beautifully soft.
I hummed and straddled her legs, running my hands up and down her back, squeezing her ass cheeks and pulling them apart. "Let's see,..." I began licking and sucking her neck and making my way over her shoulders and down her spine. She shivered. I moved back up to her neck and bit her hard at the base of her neck where it met her collar bone. My hands cupped her breasts at the same time, pinching her nipples painfully. She felt her thighs grow weak and she groaned low, leaning her head to one side to give him better access. I bit her again and then smoothed it with my tongue. My hot hands then fluttered over her sides, her hips, her arse, dipped between her legs and spread her wetness. "You're arse is so beautiful." I squeezed her cheeks for emphasis.
She was making the most amazing little grunting sounds. I rested my hardness between her cheeks and leaned over to put my lips to her ear. "Well, let's see...Kitten...I want to fuck you hard from behind. I want you to totally surrender to me. You make me crazy. I don't know why. You make me want to be an animal with you. I wanna fuck you until you scream.
How does that sound?"
Hermione whimpered. "That sounds good. Keep talking dirty to me."
I rubbed myself in and around her wetness. "Yeah, that's what I want to do. I'm rock hard for you. I want to shove my cock as deep into your little tunnel as I can go, till you feel me in your throat." She whimpered again. I kept teasing her entrance, running my finger into her wetness and spreading it up between her cheeks.
"Please, Sirius, please."
"Please what?"
"Do it. Fuck me. Please." It was his turn to groan. "First..." I got down on all fours and buried my face between her legs, lapping her, swallowing her wetness. She twitched and I grabbed her hips to hold her in place. I turned onto my back and pushed up under her, pulling her crotch onto my face.
"Gotta taste you again. It makes me so hot. You taste so good." I sucked on her clitoris and kneaded her legs and folds, until she came, spraying wetness all over my face. I licked up what he could and moved to suckle her breasts. He gently rubbed his palms over her rear end. I moved back behind her, Pressing open mouthed kisses to her moist skin. I did this all the way down her spine, eventually spreading her taunt buttocks and pressing kisses against her tight rosy anus. I licked and suckled her ass.
***Hermione PoV***
I have never experienced anything like this concentrated attention to such a naughty place. I could only moan and sigh as Sirius played his tongue against me there. I wondered, curious as ever, if he was going to fuck me there as well. Sirius answered as though I had spoken aloud.
"No Kitten, not today. I'm far too restless to take the proper time to prepare you to be fucked there." Instead he stroked his long thick erection against my swollen folds. He began teasing my entrance with the head of his erection and sliding forward to poke my clitoris from behind. He leaned forward to pinch her nipples and suck on my neck. He murmured, "How bad do you want this? Tell me."
I whimpered, then begged. "Baadd. Oh, please, Sirius, oh god, I need you. Need you inside me, please. Please take me. Oh I need to be fucked so bad. Please fuck me. I feel so empty."
Then suddenly, without warning, he grabbed my hips and dove into mr hard and fast to the hilt. "Ahhh, shit, yeah, so deep this way." That was all I could say.
***Sirius Pov***
I felt her tightness around me, quivering slightly. She was wet and hot inside and felt so good. I tilted her hips forward a little more and pressed a little farther in, causing her to moan. I loved the sounds she made. They were the most erotic female pleasure sounds I'd ever heard. Hearing her pleasure, knowing I was the cause. I felt powerful, so male, dominant.
I stayed inside, grinding myself into her by swiveling my hips, staying buried, reaching with one hand to pinch her clitoris between my thumb and forefinger and pulling it up and down. She let out a shuddering whimper.
"I love the sounds you make, Kitten. Don't ever hold back. The sounds you make drive me crazy. I feel every one of them between my legs, so exciting to hear you. I love making you moan, making you scream with pleasure. Tell me."
"So deep, you're so deep, ahhh, oh, you stretch me wide. Feels so good. I'm so sore. Use me, Sirius, use me like I'm a whore. Please moovve." She sobbed a little, "Pleeaasse, Sirius, please FUCK ME!"
"Oh, man that's such a turn on." 'She was actually begging me to fuck her. I pulled out slowly leaving just his head inside and then began thrusting into her hard and fast, gripping her hips and pulling her onto me as I thrust forward. It was perversely satisfying that my dick was big enough to make her sore.
***Hermione PoV***
I couldn't believe how good this felt. His silky hardness pounding into me, stretching my sore walls, and making them twinge in little grips of discomfort. Oh, the slight pain pushed my arousal a notch higher. I was going to come hard and quickly.
I loved that my words turned him on, excited him. I wanted to make him crazy. The paradox was that I felt powerful knowing what I was doing to him. I felt powerful, even though my hands were clenched around a pillow and I was face down and couldn't see his face. "Use my body hard, Sirius. Pound me until you come."
***Sirius PoV***
Holy shit. Every time she spoke I felt the skin of my dick stretch and get tighter even though I thought it was impossible to get any harder. "Kitten, you squeeze me so tight, you feel sooo good, make me so hard." She wasn't holding back. Moans, grunts and groans were coming out of her with every thrust.
Her torso was dipped down, arm stretched above her head. I had to pull her back so she couldn't rock back into me. She had no leverage now. Her face was sideways on her pillow, her ass in the air. I held her firmly, she couldn't move. I held her still and pounded into her over and over.
I went a bit wild. My thrusts were erratic. I had no rhythm, simply thrusting myself in and out of the warmest, wettest, tightest cunt I had ever had the pleasure to know. My grip was bruising, leaving finger shaped marks on her flesh.
Perhaps the sound of Hermione crying out in orgasm helped to bring my soul some peace. She had been far quieter today than usual perhaps sensing my need to dominate, to control the only thing I could right now. I looked down at Hermione's ass, "Kitten, I love your little heart-shaped ass, it's so beautiful."
I palmed her cheeks and spread them apart. I looked down and watched myself sliding in and out of her, seeing her sphincter flex and release with my thrusts as I pulled her cheeks a part so she was spread taut. "Ooo, I love your little puckering hole too. Every inch of you is gorgeous." I pressed my thumb against her anus in a circular motion, pressing until I was just shy of entering. She went wild, jerking her hips side to side, groaning loudly and pulling at her bound hands. "You like that?"
"Yeess."
"More?"
"More, please, more," she whimpered.
'Oh, man, she liked that?' This was almost too good.' Would she be offended? Appalled? He had to ask. "How much more? You want my fingers to probe your beautiful ass, Hermione? Huh? Do you?"
She nodded. "Please, Sirius. I liked it so much when George did it. I'm begging you. Finger my ass."
~Holy.Shit.~ That was my only coherent thought at the moment. I wet my thumb in her juices and resumed thrusting. I worked my forefinger into her tight opening up to the second knuckle, my palm resting on her cheek. I began pulling it out and sliding back in each time I thrust inside. She was going wild and I had never felt this elated having sex. I slid my finger in all the way and her moaning grew louder, more throaty. It amazed me how good this felt. I retreated and gently worked my middle finger in alongside my forefinger, thrusting a little deeper each time until she relaxed and I was plunging both fingers into her ass. I felt euphoric.
This was Kitten, my Kitten and I was fucking her hard, dominating her. Brainy, beautiful, sexy, wild, Hermione, wanting my fingers in her ass and my hard sex pounding inside her. I couldn't believe she was as turned on by this as I was, but the evidence was surrounding my cock and squishing out around me to dribble down the back of her thighs with every push inside her. I could smell her. That always drove me round the twist.
I felt her inside walls quivering and her moaning voice came to me again. "Ohyeahohyeahohyeah. Sogoodahhfuckme You can be rough. Oh Sirius, keep me sore, keep fucking me hard, I'm so full, oh your fingers feel so good, both holes, so full so good." She liked rough? I'd keep testing the boundaries. I've always been good at pushing boundaries. I leaned over with my free hand and slid it under her, grabbing her nipple in my thumb and forefinger and rolling it, increasing my pressure as her groaning became louder. Continuing to thrust into her hard, I snapped my hips and letting his body drive my fingers into her ass.
She begged, "More, twist harder, oh yeah, twist it harder, make it hurt, oh Jesus, Oh Merlin, Sirius, ahh yeah, make me come. I'm so close, so close. Sirius, please make me come."
I was quickly losing control. This whole situation was enthralling. There was no other word for it. I felt intoxicated and giddy. My balls were coiling. I was close. I had to make her come first. 'Make it hurt? Did she really say that?' I viciously twisted her nipple, pulling it away from breast at the same time.
I yelled out, sounding almost angry, gritting my teeth, but definitely demanding. "Come for me, Kitten. Now! Give it to me, do it now, come on, come for me!" Two thrusts and two twists of her nipple later, she convulsed.
That is the only way to describe what happened. I watched her butt muscles clench and release. Her ass began clenching hard on my fingers, her vaginal walls gripping and releasing my cock, as her body rocked with the muscle spasms. I watched as her entire back arched up and a wave went through her torso. Her head fell down, forehead on the mattress, panting hard, her hands clutching the headboard lifted by her attempt to gain leverage slightly above her head so she hung there limply. I was gone.
I put both hands back on her hips, gripping hard to hold her still and sitting up on my knees again and pounded into her, almost brutally slamming my hips into her ass. It created a smacking sound on her sweaty skin. The smacking sound of impact eliciting grunts from both of them. "Awww, fuck, can't believe I'm taking you this way, this hard. Oh, how I wanted this, love this, you helpless and coming, this is such a fucking turn on, Kitten, taking you like a whore. You're all ours now, yeah, yeah, here I come, lover, here I come, oh I'm gonna come sooo hard."
A low throaty wail sounded as I emptied into her , digging my fingers into the soft flesh of her hips to hold myself clamped to her as I jerked my hips and pumped her so full of cum I felt it leak out around me and run down her legs. 'Had I ever shot a load that big?' I collapsed on top of her pinning her sexy body to the mattress. I felt like a giant, my body completely covering hers. I loved surrounding her like this, feeling my body trap hers underneath him.
I know it was egotistical and macho but no woman had ever made me feel so ... male. I loved that she was so short. It made me feel big, and I liked the feeling. She groaned a relieved groan. I was still inside her, feeling her gently pulse around me. "Can you breathe?" I asked quietly.
"Yes. Stay there a minute."
I nodded against her shoulder and nuzzled her neck, kissing behind her ear. She shivered. "Did I hurt you?" I knew that she would understand that I was asking if I had 'really' hurt her. I knew I'd been rough and abrasive.
"No. It was wonderful."
"Thank you." I said softly, kissing her head. We fell asleep wrapped around each other. Our satiation was singing through the entire bond.
*************************Time to Man up and Put on Your Big Boy Drawers*************************************
After Sirius went in search of Hermione, Severus did something he had been putting off for far too long. He approached Fred, George, and Harry, and directed them to follow him. Finding the sitting room empty, he motioned them into seats. "I believe that the time has come to put the 'Greasy Git" to rest, don't you think?" Snape was careful to keep his tone neutral, not allowing himself to fall into his usual scornful tones.
"I suppose." Harry said carefully
"We do need"
"To find our legs"
"In this relationship"
"With your snarkiness." Fred and George bounced back and forth.
"I am glad we concur on this matter. I will not lie to you, I am still unsure how much of my behavior is just my own less than pleasant personality, and how much were the mental manipulations of a demented old man." Severus said diplomatically. "I have never been a kind person…in fact the only person I have ever been kind to without an ulterior motive was Lily."
Harry hid a smile. He and Sirius had discussed how close Snape and Lily had been for their first few years at Hogwarts. Harry knew that despite being sorted into separate houses Severus and Lily had managed to maintain their friendship until that day when Snape had been pushed just too far, and had struck out hurting his best friend and breaking his promise to her in one word.
"I will endeavor to keep our personal relationship from mirroring our professional. However when we are in class to the potion's lab here, I expect you to behave in the proper manner." He looked closely at all three of the young men, then his eyes caught and held on the twins. "I would also ask that you two retake your Potion's OWL, actually all of your OWLs. I have seen what you have accomplished with your Wheezes; but beyond that I have seen the caliber of your potions work. Your scores were beneath you."
The twins started to object. "I know that you don't need the OWLs to do what you have chosen to do with your lives, but you could do so to prove your mother wrong about you. You could do so for the very salient fact that it would please your father, and stop your younger brother from crowing when his scores come back in a few weeks. But perhaps most importantly you could do so to please two of your bonded mates." Snape added with a smirk.
"He has a point guys. Hermione is already sighing at you; she'll only get worse when our scores hit. Besides don't you think Percy will pitch a fit if he finds out that you did better than him? And given the right scores, you could probably get another investor, which would allow you to have a store in Hogsmeade by next summer rather than in five years." Harry said. He actually wished he could retake a couple of his OWLs, especially the Astronomy and History of Magic ones.
Snape gave Harry an actual smile. "Now, Mr. Potter…Harry, should you and I ever engage each other, I give you my word that while I may give you tips and pointers to increase our mutual enjoyment, I will never give negative critiques and will do my best to ensure that you walk away content and satisfied with our interchange."
Harry blushed, exceedingly embarrassed. "Did Sirius say something?"
"No Harry, of Course not. Your shields are rubbish when you're emotional." Fred said cheekily. "If I hadn't been trouncing Ron at chess for the first time in years, I'd have come and watched…or watched and cum as the case may be."
"You were broadcasting loudly, mate. Hermione actually got so randy she searched me out." George teased.
"Sorry…" Harry looked less embarrassed, then he looked contemplative. "Never mind I'm not sorry. You benefitted from it." Harry stuck his tongue out at George.
"Keep it in your head if you don't intend to use it, mate." George quipped back.
"Not quite sure about going there…Hermione is nice enough to share…but you think Kingsley is cool with that?" Fred joked.
"perhaps we should table this discussion for now, teasing or not." Snape said. He had been watching the young men banter and knew that he needed to do something to cement the new agreeable relationship he had begun building with them. "I believe that this weekend the four of us will go back to my old home town. I will teach you to drive a muggle vehicle just as Mr. Evans taught Lily, Petunia, and I during the summer before fifth year."
"Mr. Evans…my grandfather? He taught you to drive?" Harry asked in quick succession. "How did you know him? Was he nice? What was he like? Would he have hated me like Aunt Petunia? What happened to him?"
With a look George and Fred left the room, allowing Snape to tell Harry all he knew about the grandparents he'd never met.
Next Chapter: Trial of an AssHat