A Good Boy
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Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
Views:
22,029
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96
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Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
Views:
22,029
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Harry Potter fandom, and I do not make money from this story.
Chapter Twelve - Together
A/U: Not much to say about this one. One of my favourite parts, because it's so.. revealing.
Chapter Twelve – Together
After they made their deal, they met almost every day. Most of the times they met before their first class, mostly out by the lake. In the weekends, they found abandoned classrooms and spent the whole day together. When they were not together they missed each other, and often met up between classes to share a few hasty kisses. Both of them wanted to meet more often, but they had decided to keep it secret. They figured it was probably for the best. Harry was happy as long as Draco was. Or at least he was happier than before. No matter how hard Harry tried to make him feel better – kissing him and telling him how wonderful he was – it was not enough. Draco probably did not even know it, but he often slipped away from reality and got that depressed look, like he wanted nothing more than to get away from this life. Harry always kissed him out of it, but it still broke his heart every time. And so he tried even harder. It did work; the more time they spent together, the less Harry saw that look. But it did not work well enough. Harry knew that if he only could get Draco away from this, away from Snape, then he could erase that look forever.
But they had to wait. In the mean time, Harry arranged secret dinners and midnight dates. He thanked his lucky star for Dobby, who was a huge help. They spent many nights in the Slytherin or Gryffindor common rooms, having Harry’s invisibility cloak close at hand in case someone woke up and came down. In the mornings they began taking long walks, talking and getting to know each other. Harry told Draco about his childhood and about his battles with Voldemort. Draco talked mostly about his dreams for the future, but in rare times he talked about his childhood, and in even rarer about Snape. Harry did not really want to hear it, because it hurt so much to hear what he had been through, but he understood it helped Draco. At times they walked quietly, feeling no need to talk, and it was so peaceful Harry never wanted to stop walking. He wished they could just continue walking, and never stop until they were far away from there.
Harry loved getting to know Draco, but one thing that frustrated him more than he would say was the fact that Draco did not let him touch him. It was understandable, of course, Harry could not imagine what kind of anguish Draco was going through, but it was still very frustrating. Every time they kissed, Harry’s hands itched to travel over Draco’s entire body. Not just a little bit on the back. More than that only got Draco pulling away. He tried talking to him about it, but Draco did not even want to discuss it. And Harry did not want to push it. But he did think it could help Draco. If he could just kiss every inch of his body, he could make the memory of Snape go away.
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Draco had to use all his self-control not to commit suicide every time he was alone. When he walked down stairs or past a window, his entire body urged him to jump. In potions he would dream of putting the wrong ingredient in, making the potion deadly. But when Harry was near, it was not even an issue. When he was near Harry, he wanted to live because then he did not think of anything but Harry. But they could not spend every second together. And Draco hated himself so very much, he could not stand being near himself. He could not stand seeing himself in the mirror, knowing what his body had been through. Every minute he was not with Harry, he thought of death. He wanted to die. He could not kill himself, even if he wanted to. He had promised Harry. But accidents happen, right? He fantasised about accidentally eating something poisonous or being killed by some creature Hagrid could bring to the school. He even fantasised about Snape going to far in his games.
He could not decide if the nights with Snape were better or worse than being alone. As expected, Snape did not wait to call him down. The night after his suicide attempt he was down there again. And he had to re-live the entire night. Snape reminded him of every little detail with both actions and words. He did not even stop when Draco vomited. Of course, he did not have much to throw up. He had not eaten anything, and he did not think he could ever swallow anything again without puking. But he heaved, and heaved again, as Snape reminded him of their hands and their dicks and their laughter. But it was even worse when he described how Draco had looked. He already knew how pathetic he was. Snape telling it to his face only made it worse. He tried to will his body to destroy itself. He even tried to punch Snape, wishing he would kill him. But he only laughed, as though he knew what Draco was thinking. The entire night was almost worse than the night before had been. This time he did not even have the pain to distract him.
That night was definitely worse than being alone, but other nights were not the same. Sometimes Draco actually felt relieved that Snape called him down there. At least it meant he could still manage to touch him, even though he knew what he had gone through. Most of the time, Draco behaved badly, trying to make Snape punish him. But he was fairly certain Snape knew what he was doing. Every now and then he would comply, and punish Draco. He whipped him, he cut him, he pierced him with needles, and he burned him. No matter how horrible it was, Draco welcomed the pain. He hoped if he got enough punishment he would be cleansed, and then perhaps he could finally forgive himself. And he hoped the pain would overshadow the pain he felt inside. It never did, though. And most of the time, Snape did nothing, only made him obey using force. But eventually he put a stop to all Draco’s misbehaving by threatening to take him back to that room. From that time on, Draco was the perfect submissive. Luckily for him, Snape was a sadist and still punished him from time to time. Sometimes, Draco even thought he did it because he knew Draco needed it. Those times he did not know what he would do after graduation. Could he live without Snape? On rare occasions, when he could not stand being alone, he even went to Snape’s chambers without being ordered. Of course he never told Harry about this. How could he ever understand? Not even Draco fully understood why he did what he did. When he was around Harry, he tried to think about nothing else. He knew he failed at times. But he got better and better. The more Harry kissed him and hugged him, the more he could shut out everything else.
-----------
And weeks passed by. All of a sudden, three months had passed since the first time they kissed. To Harry, it felt like no time at all; but at the same time, it felt like they had known each other forever. Harry had learned so much about Draco, and he had told more about himself than he ever had to anyone. He really trusted Draco, and he thought Draco trusted him, too. But they had still not gotten anywhere on the physical level, and Harry did not think they would if he did not take the first step. So one night, when they sat in the Slytherin common room, he took Draco’s hands and looked him in the eyes.
“What is it that you’re afraid of?”
Draco looked down. He did not need to ask what this was about. “I don’t know.” He was pouting, but Harry was not going to fall for it. He knew he did not like to talk about it, but eventually they had to do it. And what better time than the present?
“Come on, Draco. Talk to me.”
“I… I don’t know. I’m afraid I’ll remember things. I’m afraid I’ll panic and scare you away. I’m afraid it will hurt, and then I’ll never be able to look at you the same way.”
“Wait a minute… hurt?” Harry looked at Draco’s pained expression and felt his heart ache. “Why would it hurt?”
“Well…“ Draco looked very cute in his embarrassed state. “Because… Well… you know.”
Harry looked at Draco, not really believing what he thought he was hearing. “Are you serious? Why would we do… that? There are other ways, you know, to – to give each other pleasure. And even if we did that, do you seriously believe that I would be on top? After everything you’ve been through? Draco, I could never do that to you.”
Draco just looked at him. “Wait, do you mean that I would… That I would be the one to…?”
Harry nodded, trying not to flush.
“I’ve never thought of that.” Harry could see a bunch of feelings storming in Draco’s eyes. Fear, sadness, shyness, and hate. But also curiosity and lust. “Well… I guess we could try it.” Harry felt as though Christmas had come early. Draco smiled at him, stood up, and headed for the exit, but Harry stopped him. “What?” Draco looked annoyed.
And Harry understood why. He had just made one of the biggest decisions in his life, and now he thought Harry was going to back out? “Not now. I want to make it special.”
A/U:
Jolene_Ganymede: Indeed it is very understandable. I don't think I could live through something like that. His 17:th birthday? They are trying to make it through to graduation. But seeing as Draco's birthday is june 5th, they come quite close together. :) And thank you, it's not easy to know all the time how fast they should go. :)
Queen of the Darkness: Thank you! :D And I do agree with you. But how can you expect him to tell Harry when he can't even stand himself knowing what he's gone through?
omnni: Aww, thank you! :D
Tachimaru: I think so too. Snape deserve a taste of his own medicine. And thank you! :D
mrequecky: Draco, happy? Are you sure? :P
After they made their deal, they met almost every day. Most of the times they met before their first class, mostly out by the lake. In the weekends, they found abandoned classrooms and spent the whole day together. When they were not together they missed each other, and often met up between classes to share a few hasty kisses. Both of them wanted to meet more often, but they had decided to keep it secret. They figured it was probably for the best. Harry was happy as long as Draco was. Or at least he was happier than before. No matter how hard Harry tried to make him feel better – kissing him and telling him how wonderful he was – it was not enough. Draco probably did not even know it, but he often slipped away from reality and got that depressed look, like he wanted nothing more than to get away from this life. Harry always kissed him out of it, but it still broke his heart every time. And so he tried even harder. It did work; the more time they spent together, the less Harry saw that look. But it did not work well enough. Harry knew that if he only could get Draco away from this, away from Snape, then he could erase that look forever.
But they had to wait. In the mean time, Harry arranged secret dinners and midnight dates. He thanked his lucky star for Dobby, who was a huge help. They spent many nights in the Slytherin or Gryffindor common rooms, having Harry’s invisibility cloak close at hand in case someone woke up and came down. In the mornings they began taking long walks, talking and getting to know each other. Harry told Draco about his childhood and about his battles with Voldemort. Draco talked mostly about his dreams for the future, but in rare times he talked about his childhood, and in even rarer about Snape. Harry did not really want to hear it, because it hurt so much to hear what he had been through, but he understood it helped Draco. At times they walked quietly, feeling no need to talk, and it was so peaceful Harry never wanted to stop walking. He wished they could just continue walking, and never stop until they were far away from there.
Harry loved getting to know Draco, but one thing that frustrated him more than he would say was the fact that Draco did not let him touch him. It was understandable, of course, Harry could not imagine what kind of anguish Draco was going through, but it was still very frustrating. Every time they kissed, Harry’s hands itched to travel over Draco’s entire body. Not just a little bit on the back. More than that only got Draco pulling away. He tried talking to him about it, but Draco did not even want to discuss it. And Harry did not want to push it. But he did think it could help Draco. If he could just kiss every inch of his body, he could make the memory of Snape go away.
Draco had to use all his self-control not to commit suicide every time he was alone. When he walked down stairs or past a window, his entire body urged him to jump. In potions he would dream of putting the wrong ingredient in, making the potion deadly. But when Harry was near, it was not even an issue. When he was near Harry, he wanted to live because then he did not think of anything but Harry. But they could not spend every second together. And Draco hated himself so very much, he could not stand being near himself. He could not stand seeing himself in the mirror, knowing what his body had been through. Every minute he was not with Harry, he thought of death. He wanted to die. He could not kill himself, even if he wanted to. He had promised Harry. But accidents happen, right? He fantasised about accidentally eating something poisonous or being killed by some creature Hagrid could bring to the school. He even fantasised about Snape going to far in his games.
He could not decide if the nights with Snape were better or worse than being alone. As expected, Snape did not wait to call him down. The night after his suicide attempt he was down there again. And he had to re-live the entire night. Snape reminded him of every little detail with both actions and words. He did not even stop when Draco vomited. Of course, he did not have much to throw up. He had not eaten anything, and he did not think he could ever swallow anything again without puking. But he heaved, and heaved again, as Snape reminded him of their hands and their dicks and their laughter. But it was even worse when he described how Draco had looked. He already knew how pathetic he was. Snape telling it to his face only made it worse. He tried to will his body to destroy itself. He even tried to punch Snape, wishing he would kill him. But he only laughed, as though he knew what Draco was thinking. The entire night was almost worse than the night before had been. This time he did not even have the pain to distract him.
That night was definitely worse than being alone, but other nights were not the same. Sometimes Draco actually felt relieved that Snape called him down there. At least it meant he could still manage to touch him, even though he knew what he had gone through. Most of the time, Draco behaved badly, trying to make Snape punish him. But he was fairly certain Snape knew what he was doing. Every now and then he would comply, and punish Draco. He whipped him, he cut him, he pierced him with needles, and he burned him. No matter how horrible it was, Draco welcomed the pain. He hoped if he got enough punishment he would be cleansed, and then perhaps he could finally forgive himself. And he hoped the pain would overshadow the pain he felt inside. It never did, though. And most of the time, Snape did nothing, only made him obey using force. But eventually he put a stop to all Draco’s misbehaving by threatening to take him back to that room. From that time on, Draco was the perfect submissive. Luckily for him, Snape was a sadist and still punished him from time to time. Sometimes, Draco even thought he did it because he knew Draco needed it. Those times he did not know what he would do after graduation. Could he live without Snape? On rare occasions, when he could not stand being alone, he even went to Snape’s chambers without being ordered. Of course he never told Harry about this. How could he ever understand? Not even Draco fully understood why he did what he did. When he was around Harry, he tried to think about nothing else. He knew he failed at times. But he got better and better. The more Harry kissed him and hugged him, the more he could shut out everything else.
And weeks passed by. All of a sudden, three months had passed since the first time they kissed. To Harry, it felt like no time at all; but at the same time, it felt like they had known each other forever. Harry had learned so much about Draco, and he had told more about himself than he ever had to anyone. He really trusted Draco, and he thought Draco trusted him, too. But they had still not gotten anywhere on the physical level, and Harry did not think they would if he did not take the first step. So one night, when they sat in the Slytherin common room, he took Draco’s hands and looked him in the eyes.
“What is it that you’re afraid of?”
Draco looked down. He did not need to ask what this was about. “I don’t know.” He was pouting, but Harry was not going to fall for it. He knew he did not like to talk about it, but eventually they had to do it. And what better time than the present?
“Come on, Draco. Talk to me.”
“I… I don’t know. I’m afraid I’ll remember things. I’m afraid I’ll panic and scare you away. I’m afraid it will hurt, and then I’ll never be able to look at you the same way.”
“Wait a minute… hurt?” Harry looked at Draco’s pained expression and felt his heart ache. “Why would it hurt?”
“Well…“ Draco looked very cute in his embarrassed state. “Because… Well… you know.”
Harry looked at Draco, not really believing what he thought he was hearing. “Are you serious? Why would we do… that? There are other ways, you know, to – to give each other pleasure. And even if we did that, do you seriously believe that I would be on top? After everything you’ve been through? Draco, I could never do that to you.”
Draco just looked at him. “Wait, do you mean that I would… That I would be the one to…?”
Harry nodded, trying not to flush.
“I’ve never thought of that.” Harry could see a bunch of feelings storming in Draco’s eyes. Fear, sadness, shyness, and hate. But also curiosity and lust. “Well… I guess we could try it.” Harry felt as though Christmas had come early. Draco smiled at him, stood up, and headed for the exit, but Harry stopped him. “What?” Draco looked annoyed.
And Harry understood why. He had just made one of the biggest decisions in his life, and now he thought Harry was going to back out? “Not now. I want to make it special.”
A/U:
Jolene_Ganymede: Indeed it is very understandable. I don't think I could live through something like that. His 17:th birthday? They are trying to make it through to graduation. But seeing as Draco's birthday is june 5th, they come quite close together. :) And thank you, it's not easy to know all the time how fast they should go. :)
Queen of the Darkness: Thank you! :D And I do agree with you. But how can you expect him to tell Harry when he can't even stand himself knowing what he's gone through?
omnni: Aww, thank you! :D
Tachimaru: I think so too. Snape deserve a taste of his own medicine. And thank you! :D
mrequecky: Draco, happy? Are you sure? :P