A Series of Connecting the Dots

Author's Note: Laurel's turn again. tee hee, she can't do anything about the Voldemort revelation yet since poor Harry has no idea what's coming for him...

Chapter 12 – Harry – Revelations

I’d told Mike earlier that day that I was going to need to study tonight, but I didn’t tell him who with. I gave him the same logical reason that Snape had given me – if I wanted to get into the Auror program I needed an ‘O’ in Potions – and he seemed to understand; he was a Ravenclaw after all. Apparently he and his dorm mates had planned a poker game for later that night and he wasn’t too worried about not being able to spend time together. I was glad for that: he would be too busy to think about just what exactly I was doing or who else might be there.

As I waited patiently for Malfoy to arrive, I didn’t let myself think about Mike anymore: it just made me feel like dirt. I’d practically betrayed him already with that almost-kiss and -after promising to remove myself from the temptation- here I was again: eagerly awaiting the thrill I always got when Malfoy was close by. Then there was Malfoy himself: he’d made it clear that he desired me, but until a few days ago I thought he just wanted to fuck; now, I wasn’t so sure. After seeing him try to make good with Mike so he could still be friends with me, I was starting to think he might have feelings for me after all. But I wasn’t stupid, I knew why he did it and why he’d showed me; his actions afterward were more than enough evidence of that. Malfoy wanted me to see him being the better man, putting my needs before his own, and when I still didn’t run into his arms his selflessness seemed to dry up and I was left out in the cold again. Still, I knew it had cost him a lot to play nice with Mike and I appreciated the gesture nonetheless. I felt guilty for the way I was treating him, too. By now my attraction to him must be rather obvious and my continuing rejection must be frustrating for him as well; I almost felt guilty and, in an odd way, I felt like I was betraying him by seeing Mike instead of the other way around.

“Sorry for that Mike thing,” I apologized as he sat down at my table. I couldn’t look at him as my heart began to flutter in my chest. I knew the plans I’d made with my boyfriend following his interruption even if Malfoy didn’t, and my guilt only increased as I hoped my thoughts weren’t on display in my facial expression as they so often were.

“What do you mean?” he asked, looking worried.

“Him interrupting us in the corridor like that,” I reminded him. I wondered how upset he was about it, I still felt like I was balancing the two of them, trying to give enough of myself to keep them both happy, but not so much I hurt either of them; I wasn’t doing a very good job.

“He’s your boyfriend, Potter. He’s allowed to talk to you whenever he wants,” Malfoy retorted sharply.

It felt like a knife in my heart to hear him say my name that way, the way he used to say it; as if it tasted foul. “Potter,” I whispered to myself, just making sure I hadn’t misheard him. I hadn’t.

“Do you think you’d be free to study on Saturday?” he asked me pulling me from my shocked state.

“Er… I’m busy Saturday,” I confessed reluctantly. “How about Sunday?” After I’ve been deflowered.

“I’m busy Sunday,” he grumbled, before launching into his lesson. Probably just as well he was busy: I didn’t know if my sudden impurity would be noticeable afterwards; perhaps I’d turn purple or something.

“We should probably start with the potion you and Longbottom bollixed up today,” he instructed me coldly before proceeding to explain the structure of the potion.

“You’re angry with me,” I said, preferring not to ignore his obvious frosty attitude towards me.

“I’m not angry with you, Potter,” he replied evenly. He pointed out the page he wanted me to refer to in our textbook, but I wasn’t going to let his mood swing so sharply without even a shadow of an explanation.

“You’re back to calling me by my last name, you’ve barely looked at me since you got here, and you’re sniping at me,” I challenged him. I knew he wouldn’t back off if I pushed him hard enough. Malfoy never backed off from me; he always pushed back. “What’s going on?”

“What do you want from me?” he snapped at me loudly, causing some of the library’s other occupants looked over at us. “You’ve never used my given name. Never. And it’s not as though I want to be here with you when I know you’d rather be off snogging Corner. I’d rather just get this over with, that way I can move on and you can go be happy with your precious Ravenclaw.”

Well, I wanted him to push back and he did; I’m not really sure what I was expecting. He was jealous, that much was obvious, and in a way I had known that already; he’s been jealous of Mike for a while, but I didn’t realize it was affecting him this much. And he was right, I’d never used his first name. It just seemed so personal, like it was the last barrier between us. In a way I used it to remind myself of what he used to be, Malfoy the Slytherin bully, not the boy sitting across from me hurting because I was encouraging him with my actions but rejecting him with my words.

“Malfoy, I-” I started to say. I wanted to beg his forgiveness for hurting him, for not being able to give him what he wanted -what we both wanted- and I reached over to take his hand in mine allowing myself to touch him for the first time since we’d nearly kissed. His hand sent a hot shock of feeling straight up my arm and into my heart like he had an electric current running through his body. It surprised me so fiercely that I jumped back and it was only the support of my chair that kept me upright.

Malfoy just stared back at me. I could get lost in those cloudy eyes and I wouldn’t care if I never found my way out again. Finally, after what felt like hours – days even – he drew a breath to speak.

“I like you, Harry,” he confessed; I sighed my relief at hearing my given name on his lips once more. “I like you more than I’m willing to admit and far more that I should. I’m just having a hard time being your friend when I know you don’t feel the same about me.”

This was much more than I was expecting. I had guessed we both had strong feelings for each other, but while neither of us openly acknowledged it I could easily tell myself that I was confused or that it was just me being silly and he didn’t feel anything for me. Now, I couldn’t deny it: he wanted me and I wanted him, but there was too much between us; too much bad history and too much destiny hanging over our heads.

“Just forget it, okay?” he sighed a moment later. “Let’s just get through this and then we can go back to pretending the other one doesn’t exist. Deal?”

He wanted to take the easy way out and forget about me. I wish I could let him, but my heart choked at the very possibility of those eyes walking out of my life forever. “No deal,” I stated firmly. “I have no friends, Malfoy. None, and now you tell me that you would rather ignore me than just talk to me.”

“You seemed to have plenty of friends on Saturday,” he retorted easily. “Look, Corner doesn’t want you talking to me, and it’s clear that it’s his opinion you value most, and I get that, I do. If you were my boyfriend I’d want you all to myself as well,” he replied sourly. Now that he’d confessed his heart, it seemed he couldn’t rein it in.

“They aren’t my friends, they were probably just being civil because Mike asked them to. Mike doesn’t get to decide who I can and can’t be friends with,” I said letting him hear how resolute I was that one boy couldn’t keep us apart; if I wanted to be friends with Malfoy I would be, even if he couldn’t ever be my boyfriend…. I needed him.

“Have you told him that?” he practically barked at me.

“Sort of,” I replied evasively, knowing he wouldn’t like what I was going to say, but I couldn’t lie to him, not after he’d been so honest with me. “I did tell him I wouldn’t see you outside of class, but this counts as class so why not make the most of it?” I suggested.

“Because it’s a lie,” he whispered harshly. “The minute we leave this library we cease being friends.”

I let out a deep breath and relaxed further into my chair; I felt hopeless, I wanted to give him everything he wanted, but he wanted me and I just couldn’t do that. It was a bad idea on so many levels. “I don’t know what you want me to do,” I sighed. “Mike’s my boyfriend, he deserves input on who I spend all my time with, even if he doesn’t get to make the final decision, and you didn’t help matters by instigating his anger in the first place.”

“I don’t want you to do anything, Potter. You’ve made your choice, that’s all I ever wanted you to do. Now you just have to live with it,” he told me firmly, before pointing again at the page we were on and asking, “what three ingredients are the catalysts for the Blood-Replenishing potion?”

This time I let it go. I didn’t push him; I had my answer. He was angry and hurt and there wasn’t a thing I could do about it except give him the one thing I couldn’t give. I answered his questions; I studied like a good boy exactly the way Malfoy wanted me to without bringing up anything deeper than the function of Salamander fillets in the potion. In my mind, though, I went over and over the reasons why Malfoy and I could never be together; he was a Slytherin, he’d bullied me for years, he hates my friends – okay, maybe that one is void now – his father tried to kill me, his family is loyal to Voldemort, and there’s a possibility we will be on opposite sides when this war comes to a head. I couldn’t fight my boyfriend: he’d have to give up everything if we were going to be together and I could never ask him to do that. No, we were better off apart.

We completed our work and just as Malfoy got up to leave I heard a shout that made my heart fall into my stomach. “You lied to me!” Mike’s voice echoed through the nearly empty room and I knew that whoever was left in here would be looking up at us now.

“I didn’t lie. I told you I was coming here to study, and I am,” I answered more harshly than I intended as I moved towards him so I wouldn’t have to yell. The fact was I was lying by omission and I felt guilty. I knew I should have told Mike I was studying with Malfoy but I didn’t. Partly, it was because I wanted to avoid an argument, partly because I thought Mike was going to be occupied all night and I would get away with it, but mostly because I was sick to death of this jealous streak he seemed to have when it came to Malfoy and I was sick and tired of bowing to it.

“You failed to mention you were studying with Malfoy,” Mike practically spat at me, his face glowing redder than I’d ever seen on him.

“He’s tutoring me for Potions,” I told him calmly, hoping some of my composure would rub off on him.

“Yeah, I’ll bet he is,” Mike hissed at me disbelievingly. He positioned himself between Malfoy and I as though he was going to prevent me from flinging myself at the unimpressed looking Slytherin. “Is he tutoring you for our date this Saturday as well?”

“Mike!” I gaped. My mouth fell open. I couldn’t believe he would take such a low blow and something so completely uncalled for; perhaps if he’d caught us in a similar position to the way we were in the bathroom a few weeks ago, but barely exchanging words while studying in a public place? That hardly called for Mike to accuse me of ‘practice fucking’ Malfoy.

Malfoy muttered his leave before making a hasty exit, leaving me on my own to face a very angry Mike. His last comment had set my own blood boiling though and I nearly slapped him then and there. He hadn’t yet said anything and I was about sick of waiting for him to apologize when I decided I shouldn’t have to wait. He wrongfully accused me of something I wasn’t even close to doing – right then anyway – and I wasn’t going to stand there like a fool with Hermione watching us like she cared.

I pushed past him roughly as I went to exit the library. “Harry!” he called to me firmly as though commanding me to stay.

“Fuck you, Mike!” I shouted at him, not caring who heard me. “If you’re so fucking convinced that I’m going to cheat on you, if you’re going to continually punish me for something I haven’t done then I may as well do it! Is that what you want? Do you want me to cheat on you?”

“What else am I supposed to think with you sneaking off with him behind my back?” he retorted.

“Oh yeah, that’s right, Malfoy and I are having a sordid affair behind your back and we came here so we could get it on right in the middle of the library!” I replied sarcastically before turning on my heel to leave. Madam Pince was giving me the evil eye anyway, so I knew it was time to go.

Mike followed me out, increasing his pace as I did. “Tell me then! Tell me why – after you promised not to see him outside of class – are you studying with him in the library like you’re friends?”

“Why should I waste my breath? I’m only a lying cheater, aren’t I, Mike?” I challenged him. “Do you honestly believe that I’m fucking around behind your back?” I asked him seriously.

We had stopped dead in the middle of a quiet corridor that, come Hogwarts peak times, was usually packed with students. “Honestly?” he asked. “My answer to that question changes so often that I don’t know what to think. Sometimes I’m completely sure you’re faithful and then something like tonight happens and I’m sure you’re doing something with him.”

There was a pregnant pause following his words. I was torn between pulling my hair out in frustration and breaking down in Mike's arms; instead I settled for standing there, weighing my options.

“Do you want the truth?” I asked him; I’d lied enough, I thought, it was time to tell him the truth. “You have to promise to hear me out.”

He nodded carefully, obviously unsure if he preferred living in blissful ignorance or if he wanted to lay all our cards out on the table. I took his hand in mine and led him into the nearest private place I could find; a boys’ bathroom. I maneuvered him so his back was pressed up against the wall and I leaned into him with both hands on either side of his head before addressing him in a firm and serious tone. “You can’t run away until I’m finished, promise?”

“I promise,” he nodded apprehensively, his face a whirl of conflicting emotions.

I locked his beautiful baby blues into an intense gaze, making sure I had his full attention before I spoke. “Malfoy is – sexy,” I said letting him see the truth of my words; it was an undeniable fact. I knew hearing it from my mouth would hurt him, but I was far from finished; he wanted the truth and I was going to give it to him. “He’s exciting and dangerous: the bad boy everybody craves a piece of. I have thought about it: how fantastic it would feel to have him trap me against a wall like this and do whatever he wished.”

“Like he did in the other bathroom,” Mike whispered looking hurt. He knew there was more to that incident than I let on and he’d known from the start.

“Yes, like that,” I confessed. “Having him pursue me like this has been nothing short of maddening and in the spirit of honesty I will tell you that I have come close to giving in.”

Mike was taking short, panting breaths like he was on the verge of a panic attack. “Fuck,” he whimpered and slumped further into the wall like it was the only thing holding him up. I pressed into him further, showing him that I was still there.

“I never did though,” I whispered to him soothingly. “I’ve been faithful to you because you are the kind of man I could spend my life with, and Malfoy might be dangerous and sexy now, but its not worth sacrificing a lifetime of love and companionship for a short bout of excitement.”

He directed his eyes back up to mine and I saw they were shining with unshed tears. “Really?” he asked me, his voice cracking with emotion. “You think we could last forever?”

“I think we’d have a shot at it,” I said. A better shot than Malfoy and I, that’s for sure.

“I love you, Harry,” Mike whispered before I captured his lips with mine so I wouldn’t have to reply.

-

It was Wednesday night, two days after Mike had caught me with Malfoy in the library and I was here again with him. My eyes kept darting up to the library entrance hoping to catch Mike early if he decided to storm in rather than have him sneak up on me like he had last time.

I had explained everything to Mike as I walked him back to his common room on Monday night after we’d made up in the bathroom; I think I gave him an extremely good apology, so good my jaw was still a tad sore the next morning. I told him about Snape and the required Remedial Potions lessons with Malfoy and I promised to be honest with him about where I was going to be and when I was meeting Malfoy. In return I extracted a promise that he trusted me and didn’t make things difficult by interrupting or, Heaven forbid, joining our study sessions. I made sure to mention how cold Malfoy had been to me recently and how I presumed it was because it was clear he knew I wasn’t going to give in and he had backed off; that was true in a way, but there was less pettiness in reality than I made it sound. Mike was still upset that I had to study with Malfoy though and he offered to tutor me himself for Potions – he wasn’t bad, but he was no top-of-the-class Draco Malfoy – he even went to Snape to request the change in tutors since it had been the Potions Master who arranged everything, but had been rudely denied.

Despite having him promise to stay away I still thought he might show up, or at least try to spy on us, not that there was anything to spy on. I had positioned myself so I could see clearly the traffic coming in and out of the library and I could tell Malfoy found it irritating.

“Are you even concentrating?” he snapped at me, drawing my gaze back from the door. “We are brewing this tomorrow morning and you need to get it perfect.”

“Why don’t you just partner with me again and I will get it perfect,” I suggested, huffing slightly. We had been at this for over an hour already and after the surprise Charms test this afternoon my concentration was already depleted. It didn’t help that Malfoy had been ignoring me all week; I was getting sick of his childish behaviour.

“Yes, but you won’t learn anything,” he retorted. “Now focus. What is the active ingredient in the potion?”

“The Doxy venom,” I answered and he indicated that I was correct by nodding his approval of my answer. “Malfoy, I’m sorry things didn’t work out the way you wanted,” I told him sincerely before he could throw me another question.

“Yes, not at all what I expected,” he scoffed, almost to himself.

“I know Mike doesn’t want me to, but I feel like if I work at him he might give in and we could still be friends,” I said tentatively. “It’s just I can’t stand that we aren’t friends anymore.”

“I can’t stand that you need permission from your boyfriend,” he snapped back at me. “Besides, who said we weren’t friends anymore?”

“You’ve been ignoring me,” I reminded him.

“Yeah, well, I’m just – I dunno,” he said, stumbling over his words slightly. “I’ll get over it, probably.”

“I wish it could have been different, you know?” I sighed. “You and me.”

“It can be different if you want it to be,” he replied softly, staring at his book.

“No, it can’t,” I said shaking my head. “There’s too much between us, we hated each other for so long.”

“Do you hate me now?” he pressed, finally meeting my eyes.

“No.”

“Then it’s already different, isn’t it?” He smiled at me when he said this and I had to look away.

“Relationships aren’t supposed to have problems before they even begin, we’d never last,” I told him. I believed this wholly: we would end up fighting all the time and it would break my heart.

“Who says?” he challenged, leaning over the table towards me. “Romeo and Juliet had plenty of problems before they got together.”

“Yeah, and look what happened to them,” I quipped with a small grin, but I was serious in what I said.

He chuckled. “Okay, bad example. Besides, that would never happen to us, I have a reliable owl,” he said. “And so do you.”

I laughed at his declaration, thinking of the letter Romeo never received. “Families at war,” I mused. “Hits a bit too close to home, doesn’t it?”

Malfoy shifted uncomfortably in his seat and muttered something non-committal.

“I should probably go,” I sighed, feeling the conversation end, and I began to gather up my things.

“Harry, just wait,” he requested uncomfortably. He looked like he was having difficulty saying whatever was on his mind, but I didn’t press him. “I – um, just – just be sure okay?” he asked awkwardly. “I wouldn’t want you to do anything you might regret one day.”

“What do you mean?” I frowned. “Be sure about what?”

“Nothing,” he sighed shaking his beautiful blonde locks. “I just think some things are supposed to happen in a certain way – for the right reasons, with the right person.”

My heart fell into my stomach as I realized what he was talking about; he knew I was planning to have sex with Mike soon. “How-” I started to ask him, but he interrupted me.

“I’m just saying,” he said sharply, showing me clearly he didn’t want to explain, he just needed me to be certain. I didn’t feel like he was being rude, just direct.

“I should go,” I told him once again, not wanting to explain anything to him either, and I picked up all my things to leave. He just nodded at me, perhaps a bit sadly, and I left.

I had a lot to think about as I walked back to Gryffindor Tower. How did he know I was planning on having sex with Mike? How did he even know I was a virgin? Had I told him that? Had Mike told people we had arranged our private time on Saturday? His roommates would know I suppose, they had arranged to be elsewhere after all, but would they gossip about it? Would Witch Weekly’s latest headline be announcing my deflowering?

The truth was, I didn’t really care. What resonated with me more deeply than all these questions I would probably never know the answers to were Malfoy’s words; some things were supposed to happen for the right reasons, with the right person. Did he think that person should be him? Did he honestly believe that he was my right person? Or was he just making sure I wasn’t jumping into this half-heartedly and giving away something precious to someone that didn’t deserve it?

But Mike did deserve it. He loved me. That was all that mattered. I cared about him and it was enough.

I was probably halfway to the Tower when I realized I’d left my Potions book in the library with Malfoy. I wanted to go over tomorrow’s potion one last time before bed and I’d only left the library five minutes ago, so I decided to run back and get it, hoping Malfoy was still there. I gripped my bag tightly to my chest and began to jog back the way I had just come. When I arrived Malfoy was definitely still there, but for a second when I saw him I was so shocked I couldn’t move. He was there exactly where I’d left him but he wasn’t alone, Hermione was there talking to him – no, judging from her body language, she was arguing with him.

“Look, Granger, I don’t know how to make this any clearer,” he was saying. “Piss. Off. Harry is not your business anymore.”

“I just want to know what you think you’re doing with him,” she asked him harshly. “I’ve been watching you, Malfoy, and I know something is going on.”

“Shall I write it down for you, would that make it easier for you to understand?” he asked her snidely, pulling out his quill and a spare piece of parchment. He scratched his quill over the paper and held it up for her and from the look on her face what he wrote wasn’t very polite.

“If you hurt him-” she began to say, but I’d had enough.

“You’ll what, Hermione?” I interrupted and I saw that she nearly jumped a mile from the surprise. She babbled an incoherent explanation and I only felt sorry for her; hurt, disappointed, sad, and sorry. “What do you want?” I sighed letting her hear my exhaustion.

“I’m just worried about what you’re getting yourself into,” she explained, her eyes darting around like she was worried about being caught speaking to me.

“If you were so worried, why didn’t you ask me?” I questioned her. “Why come to Malfoy? I was here with him only ten minutes ago.”

“I-” she choked on her words and didn’t have anything more to say.

“You aren’t allowed to check up on me behind my back,” I told her firmly. “If you don’t have the Gryffindor guts to face me then stay away. You either care about me or you don’t, make up your mind and stick to it.”

“Of course I care about you, I never stopped,” she gushed at me.

“Then you’ll sit with me at breakfast? Talk to me in the common room?” I asked her. “Partner with me in Potions tomorrow morning?”

“I can’t,” she practically sobbed, but no tears flowed from her eyes.

“I’m sorry, Hermione, it’s all or nothing,” I informed her. I was willing to forgive her if she was genuinely ready to be forgiven, but couldn’t afford to have fickle friends. I needed some stability in my life; it was too unstable as it was to include friends I wasn’t sure would be there the next time I turned around. “Don’t ask after me again unless you’re willing to be the kind of friend I need.”

Malfoy sat watching the exchange with interest and I gazed at him intently trying to show him that I knew he was the kind of friend I needed in my life. “Malfoy and I might have been rivals at one point, and in a way we still are, but at least he never left me,” I said, still staring at Malfoy. Hermione just gaped at me. I reached over and grabbed the book I came for. “Goodnight, Hermione,” I said to her. “If she asks after me again, don’t tell her anything,” I told Malfoy as if Hermione weren’t two feet away from me. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” And then I turned and left them both in the library feeling surprisingly good about myself.

I was proud that I had stood up for myself, I knew what I deserved and I didn’t settle for less. I wouldn’t settle for friends who were there one minute and gone the next, or friends who were only friends in certain situations but not others.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

Friends that were there in certain situations but not others? That sounded uncomfortably familiar. Friends in secret, I guess. I heard Malfoy’s voice crystal clear in my mind. The minute we leave this library we cease being friends.

Suddenly my hopes of keeping Malfoy as a friend crumbled down around me. How could I be anything other than the kind of friend I wanted to have myself? How could I expect Malfoy’s friendship when I continued to keep it secret from the rest of the world?

I realized with a heavy heart that I really was going to have to choose. I could try to have it both ways until I was blue in the face; the fact was I couldn’t have both Mike and Malfoy in my life. One of them was going to have to go.

--

“Good morning, Harry,” I heard Malfoy whisper in my ear from behind me the next morning as I surveyed the Gryffindor table from the entry to the Great Hall.

“Good morning,” I greeted him with a smile. “I’m sorry about that Hermione thing last night.”

“No problem, I can handle her,” he shrugged. “It was a bit unexpected though, wasn’t it?”

“Not for her,” I told him shaking my head. “It would have been more surprising if it had been Ron.”

“Do you think she’ll try again?” he asked me.

“She’ll want to, and she might if the opportunity comes up, but I doubt it now that I’ve warned her off,” I told him. I knew she was trying to keep her concern for me largely to herself so that Ron didn’t find out. “She’ll wait until she can meet my conditions and she won’t be able to do that unless she gets Ron on board too, and he’s too stubborn to admit he might have taken things a bit too far.”

“Plus with his sister and everything,” Malfoy sighed as though he felt a bit sad for me. “Look, I know you liked them and everything, but you don’t need them. Good riddance to them really if that’s how they want it!” I smiled falsely and nodded, wishing my heart agreed with him. “Anyway, are you all ready for Potions this morning?”

“As ready as I’m ever going to be,” I replied, glad to put the Hermione subject out of my mind. “I’m still a bit fuzzy on why we need to do a half counter-clockwise stir before we add the liverwort, but I know that I have to do it and that’s the main thing, right?”

“For now, yes, but I’ll go over it with you again tonight,” he said sounding very much like the strict tutor I had found myself with lately rather than the seductive boy I knew he could be.

“Hi,” I heard someone say carefully from beside me. I’d been concentrating on talking to Malfoy so much that I hadn’t noticed Mike come up to us, but when I saw him I felt my panic rise; I wasn’t supposed to be talking to Malfoy like this.

“Mike! Hi, um, we were just – just-” I floundered.

“I know, I heard, you were talking about Potions,” he said. He didn’t seem mad and I think that unnerved me more than anything, I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. “Do you want to have breakfast with me?”

“Uh, sure,” I agreed apprehensively. Did he mean breakfast with a side of arsenic? “I’ll see you later, Malfoy,” I said and the Slytherin gave me a quick nod before we parted.

Mike took my hand in his, lacing our fingers together as he led me over to the Gryffindor table where I knew we’d be afforded some privacy as we were ignored there rather than expected to join into the Ravenclaw morning discussions as we would be at his table. “I’m sorry about that, I know you don’t want me talking to him when I don’t have to,” I said, hating the words as they came out of my mouth. I was still torn over the realization that I would have to give up one of them in favour of the other when really I wanted to keep both.

“Harry, can I say something?” he asked me before giving my hand a squeeze as we sat down. He leaned into me stealing a sweet kiss before speaking softly to me in a tone so honest it made me shiver. “I don’t like him, I don’t like him spending time with you, and I don’t like him talking to you,” he said. “I don’t like the way he looks at you because I can tell what he’s thinking and those thoughts should only be for me to think and no one else.”

I took a deep breath and nodded sadly. “I know, I’m sorry,” I whispered.

“But the fact is, I’m fighting a losing battle here,” he continued, catching my eyes with his. “He’s in nearly all your classes, you see him all the time and now you’re studying with him almost every night. I don’t want you to feel like I’m giving you rules and regulations; I want you to do things not because I tell you to, but because you know it would make me happy. You told me the truth and I want to keep trusting that you won’t lie to me, so if you need to talk to him then talk to him. Hell, if you want to talk to him then talk to him.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “Really?” I asked breathily.

“Really,” he confirmed. “All I ask is that you don’t do anything you know I’d be upset about, don’t discuss private things with him or meet up with him late at night in an empty classroom or anything.”

“Of course, I – I won’t, I promise,” I hastily agreed. “Thank you.”

He kissed me gently and it was perfect. He was perfect. Better than I ever expected. I felt guilty for all the awful things I’d thought about Mike recently, it felt like he’d been tying me up in rules and expectations and I’d been submissive but furious about it. But I’d just been released from his restrictions and it felt wonderful. I felt like I was glowing in pleasure at his trust in me and I was determined not to let him down. I would be faithful and I would love him because he was wonderful and he deserved it.

Author's Note: And now they can be friends... will Draco be content with that?