Your Hand in Marriage

Hermione sat on the couch with Severus explaining her heritage to Harry. Severus was not listening to her speak at all. On the contrary, Severus was having extremely complex and not at all childish thoughts…

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me

She Loves Me


The most Snapey part of him was screaming at him to stop his internal jig and that he looked like a utter fool, but Severus couldn’t give a hoot. No one, not even his parents—scratch that--- especially not his parents, had ever told him that they loved him.

He had some sense of love in his affection for Harry’s mother Lily, with whom he had bonded during his troublesome childhood, but those feelings were quite unrequited and Severus felt he truly understood that love was a two-way street and not something one could experience on their own.

Not that he was in love with Hermione.

Nope.

Definitely not.

Not at all.

Not one bit.

Nuh uh.



Severus was ripped out of his delusion by Hermione’s elbow poking him as she gestured wildly, “So now I come to find out I’m related to the Malfoys, and Draco has no idea! Oops! Sorry for the elbow Severus.”

“Draco is going to think Severus one-upped him by marrying me first and I bet he’s going to be pissed because he can’t humiliate me. Well, he can try to humiliate me by poking at my relationship with Severus. But there’s the rub! Severus is his head of house and mentor! What can her really say?”

Severus smirked, “Obviously, my dear, you have no idea what it is to be a Slytherin. Of course he is going to use our union against you, he just has to be sneaky about it.”

Hermione scrunched her nose in disgust, “You’re terrible.”

“Oh yes, I’m quite aware.”

Hermione giggled and slapped Severus playfully in the arm.

Harry was watching the banter with interest. He had to admit that Snape and Hermione really seemed made for each other. It was really disconcerting to see that they had gone from distaste to laughing and... urgh... sex... in two days.

He didn’t really want to interrupt Hermione and Snape’s twisted version of googly eyes, but he had a few more questions.

“Erm… Hermione, so this Merlin gene thing. Are you going to always be under that glamour?”



“Oh, no. Dumbledore and Malfoy said three days tops, so I should be back to normal sometime tomorrow with the exception of the birth mark. I may revert during the use of powerful magic like you saw today. Glamouring doesn’t seem to work too well against raw magic…”



Severus rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “No, it wouldn’t. Gamp wrote that the vibrations of wandless and raw magic are at a higher vibration which overwhelms weaker magic in the area.”



Hermione gripped his sleeve, “What?”

Severus looked at her perplexed, “Surely you have read Gamp’s Laws on Magical Vibrations?”



“No! Only his work on Elemental Transfiguration. Oh, Severus do you have that book in here?”

Hermione rose and went to the study shelves looking for the title. Severus quirked his head to the side, “Accio Gamp’s Laws on Magical Vibrations”

The book zoomed towards him, but Hermione caught it before it reached him.

She sat down, opened the book and began reading.

Severus looked up quizzically at Harry.

“Does she do this often?”

Harry laughed, “All the time.”

Severus waved his hand in front of her eyes, but Hermione just slapped his hand away, her eyes moving so fast it was as if they were blurred.

She didn’t even look up when the floo activated and Lucius stepped out.

“Dear gods, it’s Potter.”

Severus smirked at Lucius, “I know, isn’t it disgusting to be on our side?”

Lucius sat down in an unoccupied chair and summoned some tea. “So how is everything Severus? I heard about the ruckus, but I trust everything is sorted out?”

“Indeed.”



“Wonderful. Care for some tea?”

“Certainly. Mister Potter would you like some tea?”

Harry sat open mouthed, looking between Severus and Lucius.

“This is too fucking weird.”

Lucius and Severus chuckled and prepared their tea.

As Lucius took a sip, he noticed what Hermione was reading.

“Ah! Gamp’s Laws on Vibration? She must have begun her foray into Hermetics.”



Hermione’s head popped up suddenly and for the first time she noticed who had arrived.

“Oh! Mister Malfoy! I neede—“

“Call me Lucius, please.”

“Lucius. I need to learn more about Hermetics, do you know any Masters I can study under?”

Lucius smiled widely, “Of course, dear niece. Me.”

Hermione’s jaw dropped and Lucius lost his smile.

“Manners!” He flicked his wand and her mouth snapped shut painfully to which both she and Severus flinched.

Hermione rubbed her jaw, “Lucius. Can you please educate me in practical applications of Hermetics?”

“Of course, dear. I would consider it a dereliction of duty if I did not. However, I would like for Severus to approve.”

Severus did not like the idea of Lucius being alone with Hermione for any reason, related or not.

“I’d like to chaperone the first few sessions, for—Hermione’s comfort.”



Hermione smirked at him knowingly and he cleared his throat and averted her eyes.

Hermione held in a laugh, “Oh yes, Severus is right. He should certainly chaperone the first few. I will require it for my… comfort.”

Severus smiled discreetly at her attempt to appease his dignity.

Lucius clapped his hand, “Of course! How thrilling! You know, I always wanted to be a teacher. My father wouldn’t have it. He said it was a weak option—no offense Severus…”

Severus’ lip curled.

“Right then. I shall come in the evenings at 8 o’clock if that is agreeable to you.”

Hermione looked to Severus and then nodded.

“Lovely. That’s settled. I must be off, I’m afraid.”

Lucius gathered his cloak and tipped his head at Harry who looked shellshocked.

“Good evening, Hermione; Severus. Mister Potter, you are welcome to audit my lessons, as well. If you feel so inclined.”

Harry just stared blankly at him, his eyes following him to the floo, and remaining there even after the last of green flames died.

Severus looked at Harry thoroughly amused, “He’s gone comatose just like you seem to do. I wonder if it’s contagious.”

Hermione laughed, “I think it’s just a bit much to be treated cordially by two sworn enemies in one night. His reality must be collapsing around him.”

Hermione helped a dazed Harry back to his rooms through the floo and headed back to Severus. She was exhausted, despite her rest in the hospital ward, and she felt immediately to sleep in Severus’ arms until morning.

~ * ~

Hermione woke up early the next morning. She laid next to a sleeping Severus feeling ill about going to classes.



Severus was not well liked. No, that was an understatement. Truth be told nearly every student with the exception of Slytherin house despised him. Unfortunately, Hermione could find no solace in Slytherin house; they hated her as much as the rest of the school hated Severus.

She sighed resignedly and then felt Severus’ arms wrap around her possessively. Groggy from sleep, he lifted his head to look at her, “It’s going to be fine Hermione. It will not be easy, but opinions can’t hurt you. And if they try to hurt you with magic, I feel sorry for them.”

Hermione rolled over to face Severus, “I know. I just feel like I’m being led to the burning pyre. A pig to the slaughter.”

“You are, but when has that ever stopped Potter from prancing around?”



Hermione rolled her eyes and got up to shower.





An hour later, she was completely dressed and ready to go to the great hall for breakfast. The problem was that she couldn’t get her legs to work.

Severus pulled her up into standing position, “Dear gods, woman. It’s just a little bad publicity. I’m going to head to breakfast first so that we don’t have to enter together. I think that would just make it worse.”

Hermione plopped back down in the chair and Severus immediately lifter her back onto her feet, “I never thought you were such a weak witch.”

That got her.

“Weak!? I’ll show you weak! I’m going to gather Harry from the Head Dorms. You go on.. you… you… NAYSAYER!”

And with that, she flounced out of the door.

Severus smirked. Oh yes, he knew her well.



When Severus arrived at breakfast, there were hardly any students. The professors were all in their seats, many of them were leering at him with disgusting grins. He sighed, and made his way to his seat next to Minerva who was, thankfully, not smiling at all.

Perfect.

McGonnagal rounded on him and he saw her lips were in a tighter line than her usual scowl.

Not Perfect.

Minevera clucked her tongue in a waspish manner and whispered harshly to Severus, “If I hear you have been treating Hermione poorly I will transfigure you into dragon dung and fertilize Sprout’s mandrakes with you.”

Severus was floored. He had never heard Minerva threaten anyone, except perhaps with detention. Hermione’s well being certainly brought out the worst in people.

Minerva turned back to her plate sharply and Severus began selecting breakfast items for himself.

The students had begun drifting into the hall, shooting covert looks at the head table. Nearly every one of them had the daily prophet in their possession. Damn, he should have them banned.

There was no denying it; the Cornish pixie was out of the cage.




By the time Hermione opened the doors to the Great Hall, it was bustling with people. It had taken Harry some additional time and threats of carrying her over his shoulder to get her to leave the safety of the Heads Common Room.

Hermione took a deep breath and walked to the table with Harry. She smiled fleetingly at Lavender and Parvati who looked at her with disgust and got up and moved further down the table.



Hermione sighed and sat down with Harry in their vacated seats.

Hermione looked to the 2nd year on her left and he quickly folded up the paper he was reading and looked intently at his cereal. Hermione recognized the daily prophet and saw her face cut off at the fold. It was a picture from the Triwizard tournament. Couldn’t they have chosen a more recent picture? She was only 14 when they took that and she looked, if possible, even younger. They were definitely trying to make this look worse than it was.

There was a conspicuous lack of red hair at the table. Ginny must have heard about Ron.

As if reading her thoughts Harry spoke quietly into her ear, “She’s gone home for a few days to comfort Mrs. Weasely. They’re all glad he didn’t do it under his own influence, of course, but that doesn’t make it much less horrifying.”

Hermione nodded fervently.

Another quick survey of the table and she found that nearly every student in the great hall was reading the Prophet. She looked across to the Ravenclaw table and read the headline.

In huge block letters it flashed, “Heathens at Hogwarts?” and then “Potions Passions for a child bride?”

The picture below the headline was an image taken from the Yule ball. It was obviously an outtake because Severus was scowling at the photographer and Hermione was barely in the frame, looking away and talking to the owner of an invisible arm whom she knew to be Viktor Krum.

It was clearly the only picture they could come up with that had both parties in even remote distance of each other.



A large screech owl landed in front of Hermione with her own daily prophet, holding out it’s leg for her to put a knut in it’s pouch. She obliged and fed the bird a bit of her bacon.

As she unfurled the paper, she noticed the Hall got unnaturally quiet.

She began to read the article:

Hermione Granger (aged 18), a muggleborn student and friend erstwhile lover to “the-boy-who-lived and Severus Snape (aged 43), feared Potions Master and dark arts enthusiast have wed.

According to Ministry documents, the Elder Snape and his child bride were wed in the early afternoon hours on Friday last. The ceremony, performed by Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts School, is listed as the ancient and chastity-verifying Una ut Unus rites.

Further investigation indicates that the Elder Snape took his Virgin child-bride into his bedchambers that evening, and divested her of her innocence. Previous articles have shown Madame Snape nee Granger’s relationships with famous faces including both the boy hero Harry Potter, and Quidditch sensation Viktor Krum.

No word has been given as to how this union came to be, but our sources tell us that an investigation is underway to see if the Elderly Potions Master has hoodwinked his young student into his chambers using the illegal and potent ‘Amortentia’ potion.

For more information on Severus Snape’s subversive dark arts---

Hermione stopped reading and looked up. Every face was on hers, but looked away as soon as she moved her head. Hermione looked at the head table where Severus was reading the daily prophet with a scowl on his face so black no one would dare make a comment.

Hermione then looked to Harry who was looking back at her worriedly.

Hermione put her face in her hands, shoulders shaking. Harry moved to comfort her when she suddenly sat up straight, laughing hysterically.

It was a deep belly laugh that had her wiping tears in her eyes. They had still managed to twist the story into a ridiculous tale. Somehow she had gone from tart to innocent virgin in the eyes of the Prophet, and Snape was some big bad meanie. The way they painted him made him look like Nosferatu.

She saw the students in the Great Hall looking at her. Some in pity, some in disgust, but most in complete shock.

This only served to make Hermione laugh harder, and Harry began to chuckle too.



She got up and walked out the door to the Hall, the faces around her making to tempting the urge to keep guffawing.



When she walked out of the hall she was still laughing too hard to notice that a blonde haired Slytherin was glaring at her from the stairwell.



“What’s so funny, mudblood? Seeing the Weasels cock as he slapped you about?”

Hermione stopped laughing immediately and carefully placed an indifferent look on her face.

“Hello, Malfoy. Shouldn’t you be eating with your cronies?”



Draco moved towards her suddenly, “Shouldn’t you be sucking cock for grades? I mean, the ministry is only worried about the one hole,” gestured crudely, “I reckon you were getting buggered the whole time by whoever would fill your filthy gape.”

Hermione was disgusted, but forced out a laugh, “Please, you’ve seen my grades in Potions and they are underwhelming. Is that really the best you can do?”



Draco came face to face with Hermione, “Oh I can do so much better, mudblood. Wait and see…”

He ghosted his hand across her collarbone and turned on his heels, striding arrogantly into the great hall.

Hermione looked to the doors and saw Harry walking out quickly with a troubled expression on his face, “Did Malfoy just harass you?”

Hermione rolled her eyes, “What else is new. He tried to intimidate me, suggested I got buggered for my potions grades, and then made vague warnings about what he could ‘do’ to me.”

Harry put his arm around her and scowled blackly back into the hall, “I know he makes threats like that all the time, but something tells me he’s serious. I think we should be on the look out.”

Hermione snorted, “Like we aren’t all the time?”



Harry gave her a half-smile, “Make sure you tell Snape. We might have your—erm—‘uncle’ on our behalf, but he’s not always around to look at what his spawn might be planning and it’s not like he can contradict his own edicts right now.”

Harry got a disgusted look on his face, “Urgh. I can’t believe who I just called uncle.”



Harry and Hermione made their way to their first class, Herbology with the Ravenclaws.



They were repotting devil’s snare, a tricky task. Also a smelly task as Professor Sprout used dragon dung as her preferred fertilizer.

Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang were behind Hermione while Harry went to get fertilizer. They were talking in stage whispers.

“Did you hear that she married SNAPE?”

“Ew. I saw it in the paper. How disgusting! He’s old and gross.”

“Not to mention greasy.”

They paused and then Cho went on in slightly louder tones.



“Well I suppose she had to settle for what she could get. I mean look at her. Who else beside the Potions Bat would shag THAT?”



“Frizzy Hair!”

It’s not so bad now!

“Buck teeth!”

Not for several years, thanks

“No tits!

You’ve been looking?

“I mean she’s a TOTAL hag. I bet she got Snape while she was young because she knew it would only get worse with age.”

“Yeah, at least she’s got the whole ‘barely legal’ thing going for her.”

Hermione was seething. She knew Cho had a problem with her because of the whole situation with Harry, but that was in fifth year. Marietta could be excused she supposed, after all, she still had the remnants of Hemione’s permanent jinx on her forehead.

The tittering stopped as Harry came back with their dung. They worked diligently for the rest of class, and were sweaty and a little dirty from the effort.

Harry walked ahead of Hermione as they left the class room, and just as she reached the door she heard a female voice shout, “WHORE!”

Suddenly she felt a smack on the back of her head, which someone had thrown an enormous amount of dragon dung. It dripped down her back and into the neck of her robes.

She stood up straight, and walked out of the greenhouse. Flinging the mess off as she walked.



A/N: teenage girls are bitches! They KNOW she was a Virgin because it was published and they still call her a whore? Not very classy….

This is my last weekend of holiday before I go back to work. I'm going try to keep my updates as frequent, but as I won't have all day free anymore it won't be as easy :-(