History Repeats Itself

***special alert- So I accidentally posted this before chapter 11, so the few of you who read this chapter last update, should go back and read 11. lol

Authors Note: Many many thanks to my beta Shannon (GothicBlackRose) for not only requesting this fic but also beta-ing it for me. Also, if anyone would like to know about updates and/or new projects you can find me on Facebook or my Yahoo Group (see my profile for details).

Chapter 12 A Turn for the Worst

Panic set in and my heart was racing faster than ever. The hands on the clock kept moving closer and closer to the mark that would mean it was too late for me to get back into my body, but I couldn’t seem to make my limbs move to follow the clocks lead.

I could still see Shannon hovering over my corporeal body looking more and more concerned, but I had no clue what to do. I thought getting back would be enough, but clearly it wasn’t.

It was nearly nine and I had exactly four minutes to get back into my body.

“What do I do?” I asked Harry, who was still a smiling presence at my side. He pushed a piece of my hair behind my ear and looked troubled as if he were trying to decide something.

“Do you want to go back?” he asked carefully, his brilliant eyes watching me closely.

“I need to go back,” I told him. ‘For us’ I tried to tell him with my eyes.

After a moment it looked as though he had steeled himself into a decision and he let go of my arm, pushing me gently toward that shimmering form. When I touched it, my current body faded into the one lying on the bed like a ghost, but otherwise nothing felt any different.

“Lie down,” Harry suggested and I nodded as I placed my more translucent form over the more tangible form on the bed. I tried to line everything up, make my posture and position match exactly, but still I felt nothing and I began to panic again.

Was it already too late? Had Shannon been mistaken about how long I had?

“Calm down,” Harry soothed and walked over to stand above me, hovering just ahead of where Shannon was sitting unable to see either of us. I felt a sense of peace wash through me then, and knew that being in limbo wouldn’t be too bad if I could be there with my Harry. Trouble was, it wasn’t my Harry, and I had to get back to the one I loved so that I could tell him what I’d found out about our future together.

“I love you, Draco. Always remember that,” he whispered, his eyes glowing with otherworldly light and then he leaned in to kiss me.

It was like breathing air for the first time after having been underwater for hours. Harry’s lips felt like warm blankets being wrapped around me and I pulled him closer, digging my fingers into his hair. Electricity coursed through me and it felt as if my heart was fluttering faster than it ever had before.

It was then that something felt off, different than it had before, and Harry started to pull away. I opened my eyes to see what the trouble was and found a sputtering and squirming Shannon on top of me, trying desperately to get away.

“Shan?” I called, confused and slightly hoarse.

“You’re back!” she squealed. “Well, clearly your back, but I wasn’t sure it was you, and then you tried to make out with me, and then-“ Her words trailed off as she pulled me into a hug and then shoved me roughly away a moment later.

“Don’t ever kiss me again,” she ordered. “That was weird.”

I laughed, louder than I had expected to and it seemed to surprise the both of us. “If it makes you feel any better I thought it was Harry,” I offered.

“That explains the tongue,” she replied with a crinkled nose. “Never again, I mean that once to warn off Pansy was one thing, I just pretended you were Jean Claude, but that,” she sputtered slightly, “That was not cool. Never again,” she reiterated and we both fell back into laughter.

“I thought you were going to be too late,” she told me when our normal breathing had resumed.

“Me too,” I admitted. “Then suddenly Harry was there and he showed me the way.”

“Harry was there?” she asked skeptically. “I mean I know you said you thought I was him, but-“

“I’m not sure if it was really him, but it felt like him and looked like him and even sounded like him, so that’s good enough for me,” I replied, unable to wipe the silly grin from my face. “Everything is going to be fine now, Shan. I was right, the curse wasn’t a dream it’s real. Harry and I are meant to be together.”

She smiled and ruffled my hair, to which I swatted her for messing it up. “I already knew that, but it’s good that you finally believe me,” she said.

I rolled my eyes and pulled myself out of bed. “Now I just have to tell Harry, though I have no idea how to contact him.”

“I think I can help you with that, but first we need to get you some breakfast. The book said that you should eat right away,” she told me, before I could protest that I wasn’t hungry.

“Fine,” I muttered and followed her from the room.

Soon I would be with Harry again and finally everything would make sense in my life.

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The common room was quiet as we made our way to breakfast. It was actually eerie how silent it was. Most often there were at least few students lingering who had studying to do, or just weren’t very hungry, but not that morning.

It seemed even more odd in contrast to what we found as we rounded the corner of the dungeons leading up to the first floor. A bustling crowd of students cheering and setting off celebratory firework charms in the hall circled us and shouted various slanders and jeers before moving along and heading outside. Clearly they were happy about something, but what? There wasn’t a big test I was aware of, or an extra Hogsmeade weekend being added to our schedules… at least I didn’t think there was.

“What do you think is going on?” Shannon asked curiously as we spotted a second and then third group of irrationally happy Hogwarts students.

All I could do is shrug as I watched classmate after classmate run past me in a mirthful glow, though none of them Slytherin and most of them from the younger classes. It wasn’t until I got to the Great Hall and saw the Slytherin table nearly empty and the long faces on several of the Gryffindor’s that my heart froze up inside my chest and I gripped Shannon’s arm roughly as a sense of dread fell over me.

Only one thing I could think of would bring that much cheer to everyone else and yet an equal dose of sorrow to these particular students.

“Go ask someone what’s happened,” I asked Shannon, and though she looked at me oddly, she finally nodded and headed off to the nearest table full of excitedly chattering Ravenclaw’s.

I watched Shannon closely while the slight blonde she was talking to gaped in surprise at Shannon’s question and then beamed at her as she recounted what to me felt like a very long tale. I was too far away to hear what she said, but I could read Shannon’s expression well enough.

At first she seemed pleased and at one point nearly beckoned me over, but then she held up her hand for me to stay back as the girl reached a part of the story that she clearly didn’t want me to hear. The she asked the young Ravenclaw girl another question and Shannon seemed suddenly much less happy. After that the blonde looked down at the floor, her previous good mood shot down and Shannon looked over at me, her eyes filled with pain and tears.

In my mind I was running away; sprinting as fast as I could away from the news that I was afraid to hear. I knew what had happened, I knew it the very moment I saw the Gryffindor’s faces. People like Neville Longbottom and the Weasley girl had never looked so grave, but I didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want it to be real.

In reality however, I was stuck, rooted to the spot like someone had cast a sticking charm on my shoes. All I could do was stand there as Shannon walked over with the horrible news that I didn’t want to hear, didn’t even want to consider.

Her hands were shaking as she pulled me into a tight hug. “Draco, I don’t know how to tell you-“ she began, but I cut her off with a harsh laugh. My sanity was quickly waning in the wake of what I now knew in my heart to be true.

“He’s dead,” I muttered. My mouth felt like it wouldn’t work right. “He’s dead isn’t he?” I demanded.

She hesitated and then nodded against my shoulder. “Draco, I’m so sorry,” she sobbed. “He fought Voldemort last night. He won, Draco. He killed him for good but… but his wounds were too much,” she tried to explain.

“So it really was him this morning,” I whispered, the thought coming unbidden to me at the realization that I had been with my Harry and given him up. “He was saying goodbye.”

Shannon’s hands clenched into my robes and she tried to pull me closer but my body wouldn’t respond and stayed frozen in place. She let go a moment later and I could vaguely hear screaming beside me, but I was too dazed to make out any of the words. It was Shannon I knew, having been on the receiving end of enough of her anger I could recognize it even in my foggy state, but the other voice was a man’s and I looked over to see a violent flash of red hair and then Ronald Weasley’s face came into focus sharply.

“Get out of my way,” he growled at Shannon, who was acting as a human barricade to keep him away from me.

“No. He’s upset. You don’t have the right to worsen it!” she screamed back at him.

“I don’t have the right? Who the hell are you? I want to know why my best friend’s last will and testament gives everything he owns to a sniveling ferret that he always hated!” he shouted.

“What?” I asked, confusion filling my mind and I was sure my face as well.

“Oh, that’s gets your attention does it? Now that you hear you’re about to be indecently rich, now you can suddenly understand me?” Weasley spat.

“Ronald,” Granger hissed from behind him, trying but failing to hold her boyfriend back and clearly displeased with the scene he was making in the middle of the Great Hall.

“What did you do to him? Did you cast some sort of dark magic on him? What the fuck did you do to my friend, Malfoy!” he screamed, his voice ringing so loudly that not a person in the hall, or perhaps even all of Hogwarts could have missed his words.

“He didn’t do anything to Harry,” Shannon defended. “Dammit, can’t you see he’s in pain?”

“Him? Why would he be in pain? Because his beloved Voldemort was killed, so what? My best friend is dead and I want some answers now!” Weasley yelled.

It hit me then, like the Hogwarts Express straight into my chest. It didn’t matter what these people thought about me, I had been in love with Harry Potter and now he was ripped away from me like a favorite bear being torn from a child and thrown away and never to be seen again.

His warm strength and comfort beside me was gone, his all-consuming presence and charm was now emptied of him, and his loving touch and caress would be forever denied to me.

“I fucking loved him,” I yelled, both my mind and mouth finally snapping.

There. It was out, clear as a bell for the entire world to hear, not that it mattered anymore.

Shock rang across the hall as eyes widened and all faces turned toward me. “We were supposed to be together. We were supposed to have our happily-ever-fucking-after and it all fell apart,” I rasped and I could feel the first stirring of what might be tears flooding behind my eyes.

I had to go; I had to get out of there. I had made enough of an arse of myself and I didn’t need the humiliation of sobbing in public to go along with it.

So I ran and this time it wasn’t all in my mind. I could feel the hard stone floor under my trainers, I could hear the whistling flap of my robes as I moved, and I could sense Shannon trying to keep up with me but I didn’t stop, didn’t slow. I couldn’t have even if I had wanted to, and I didn’t want to.

At some point I made it back to the Slytherin common room, which was as empty as when we had left, and I collapsed on the floor in a fit of sobs so powerful that I didn’t feel Shannon running her fingers through my hair in motherly comfort or even when she levitated me to her room.

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At some point during my grief I must have fallen asleep, and when I opened my eyes I vaguely recognized the bed hangings, but not the room. I sat up and found Shannon sitting at the far edge of the bed with a pile of parchment in her lap.

She looked distant and forlorn, but when I stirred she sat a bit straighter, though she still didn’t look at me. “I should have given these to you a long time ago, but I had no idea. You have to believe me, Draco. If I had known what was going to happen you would have had these as soon as I received them,” she whispered, holding out a stack of what I could now see was letters.

I took them, not sure why she looked so guilty until I saw the messy handwriting. I flipped through the letters and my heart shattered all over again.

They were all from Harry, every single one.

“I need to be alone,” I whispered, and she nodded at once, leaving her own room to give me space.

Holding the first note reverently, I ran my fingers over each letter as if I could feel him through his writing. “Why did you write her instead of me?” I asked, wanting an answer but knowing I wouldn’t get one.

I was wrong though. As soon as I opened the first parchment my question was answered.

‘I know this is probably the wrong thing to do, and you have every right to refuse me, but I have to know how he is. I love him so much; you have to believe that, Shannon. I’m sure you think I’m an arse for leaving, but it’s the only way.

I have to kill Voldemort. It’s my destiny and only I alone can accomplish it, and until I do that, there is no way for Draco and I to be happy together.

Please try and make him understand, or don’t. I know you’re his friend and not mine and I have no right to ask you to do anything for me, but I just hope you’ll help him see that I’m doing all of this for him, for us.

Take care of him for me until I get back.

HJP’

The script was haphazard and crooked, but it was his, and the words on the page made my tears start to fall once more.

All were the same, every one of them simply checking in on my mood and my health and my general well being. At some point Shannon must have written him back and told him about my engagement, because he sounded heartbroken over it.

Things like ‘If I’m late in my mission you have to stop him. It’ll be a mistake if he marries her. She could never love him the way that I do’ seemed to conflict with other notes where he would say ‘I love him and I only want happiness for him. If that means he marries his arranged bride, then so be it. I’ll never stop loving him no matter what’, but the message was clear. Harry was a wreck over the thought of my marrying someone else.

The letters also told Shannon that he would be back any time now, that he was close to reaching his goal of defeating Voldemort, but clearly even she didn’t understand how close was ‘close’.

It was impossible for me to get too angry with Shannon. She obviously thought she was protecting me by keeping the letters out of my site, but I was hurt by it just the same.

I heard the door creak open and heard Shannon come inside, but I didn’t look over. “I’m still not feeling much like company,” I told her softly.

“I can fully appreciate that Mr. Malfoy, but I thought you might be interested in something I have to show you,” said a booming and jolly voice that was most certainly not Shannon.

“Headmaster?” I asked, looking up and staring at the elderly wizard.

“Your friend told me where I might find you,” he said, an odd twinkle to his eyes. He wasn’t nearly as depressed looking as I had imagined he should be knowing that his beloved protégé was dead, but then maybe my father was right and the old man was merely using Harry as a weapon and never really cared for him at all.

The very thought of it made my blood boil, and I was near to throwing him out when he started to speak again.

“I heard you had a bit of a… tussle with Mr. Weasley this morning?”

I rolled my eyes. Leave it to Dumbledore to sugarcoat things. “You could say that. If you’re here about the Will, he already told me, but I have no interest in Harry’s money. Give it all to charity or something.”

“Ah yes, Harry’s Will. Yes, that gave us all a bit of a start, even me, which I must admit doesn’t happen too often. You two were very careful it seems,” he chuckled with a raised eyebrow. “But no, I don’t think Harry would be too appreciative if we gave all of his money to charity.”

I sighed and let my head fall back into the headboard of Shannon’s bed. It stung for a moment but then I felt a cooling liquid sensation as Dumbledore soothed it with a quick wave of his wand. “Why did you do that?” I asked, not sure why it was worth the bother. Physical pain would be a welcome change to the emotional torment that was still wracking my body.

“You’ll need a clear head for this, I think. Now if you wouldn’t mind following me?” he said as he turned to leave, apparently just assuming that I would obey.

I did.

Not because he demanded it of me of course, but because I had nothing better to do and wallowing in self-pity wasn’t going to bring Harry back.

“Is he really gone?” I asked, nodding to Shannon as we left the common room.

“Voldemort? Yes. He’s truly gone this time. We all owe a dept to Harry. I’m very proud of him,” he mused reverently. “You should have seen him, so strong, so powerful.”

I winced, thinking of why I thought he was that way and the reasons Dumbledore mentioned it made me feel ill. Had no one else appreciated him for who he was as opposed to what he could do for them? I decided to let it drop though. There was no use getting into a ‘tussle’ with the Headmaster who would surely best me no matter what I did.

“Where are all the other Slytherin students?” I asked as we walked.

“Most have been taken out of Hogwarts by their parents. Now that the war has been decided, a great many things will change,” he replied darkly.

“Did my father not ask for me?” I wondered out loud, a slight panic folding over me. Had he been hurt in the battle? Surely there were other casualties besides The Dark Lord and Harry. My father was closest to him, so it only made sense to reason that he might have been in the crosshairs of the damage.

Had Harry killed him? If so, could I muster the energy to hate him for it? Probably not when I don’t think I could have hated him anymore than I already did for leaving me in the first place.

“You’re father is in good health,” Dumbledore noted, apparently guessing at my morbid thoughts, or perhaps he just read my mind, he was certainly capable of it. “He asked for you to come home later today. Your home has sustained much damage and he would like to have it cleared away before your arrival. I am to take you to him after our errand.”

“And if I don’t want to go?” I asked, halting and watching as Dumbledore’s eyes lit up slightly.

“You would be welcome to return to Hogwarts and remain under my protection. Those who want my help need only ask for it, Draco,” he told me. “But first things first, I have something to show you, and then you can make your decision.”

We walked the rest of the way in silence. Side by side we made our way through the corridors, turning heads as we went. When we passed a flushed looking Weasley and Granger they didn’t say a word, but merely looked down at the floor. Once outside the Headmaster held out his hand and I took it, letting him side-apparate us away from the castle, and my home and the last place I had seen Harry alive.

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Authors Note: So there is only one chapter left, are you ready?