Healing

Authors Note: Okay, I was wrong last time when I said there are 2 chapters left. NOW there are two chapters left. I was getting ahead of myself. This chapter, next chapter and then an epilogue which should tie everything up. Thanks to my beta, Alexandra.

Chapter 12 Illusions

“Leave it to Potter to live on a boulevard called Saint,” Draco muttered to himself as he made his was briskly to the address listed on the note Harry had sent.

It said that he needed Draco’s help, which worried Draco, not because of the plea, but because Harry didn’t just come to him. That’s what he would have done before if he only wanted sex, or to wash away his nightmares with release.

Since he summoned Draco to him, it made him feel as though there may be something desperately wrong.

So he hurried.

Lining the street of Saint Boulevard were white row houses made of glittering white marble. They were each three stories and had wrought iron balconies on the top two floors. They were pristine, exceedingly average and Draco had a hard time imagining Harry living in one of them.

Draco paced up and down the block, looking over and over at the same stretch of homes. He had passed 4565 and 4561 and never saw 4563. He looked across the street and the numbers were as they should be there.

He stared at the space where the house should be and whispered the address out loud and was only slightly startled when the space between the townhouses shimmered and split apart.

A different home grew up between the two perfect white flats and Draco smiled to himself. The home that manifested at 4563 was a two-story Tudor style cottage with roaming moonflower vines trailing up its face.

This place was much more like the spot Draco could imagine Harry whiling away his time. It practically screamed old family home.

Not that he should be imagining what Harry was like in his free time. It was bad enough that he had felt so compelled to go to Harry in the first place. He should have been staying away, keeping his distance and getting past the infatuation that had grown into something new over the past several weeks he had spent with the infuriating Gryffindor.

By all accounts he should hate the boy who made his life at Hogwarts a living hell, they were opposites in almost every way. Not to mention Harry was unstable and Draco was unworthy. They would make quite the disastrous couple indeed.

Draco shook his head, deciding not to use the word couple when thinking of Harry ever again.

He took a deep breath, let it out slowly and walked up to Harry’s door.

--

Harry was pacing back and forth in his living room. Artemis, his owl, had returned a few minutes before, so Harry knew Draco had the note. What Draco did now might change his life.

There was a loud knock at the door and Harry stiffened, turning his head just slightly and bracing himself for Draco’s reactions.

He had come, and that alone meant things to Harry he couldn’t even begin to explain. He went to the door and opened it slowly. Draco had his hand raised as if he were about to knock again and looked curiously at Harry.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, raking his gaze over Harry’s unmarred body. No doubt he thought the note meant that Harry was in trouble, and he was, just not the trouble Draco might have assumed.

“Come in,” Harry answered, avoiding Draco’s question for the moment.

Draco narrowed his eyes but followed Harry into the living room nonetheless. “What’s this about, Potter,” Draco said when the silence had stretched between them too long.

“I want you to make love to me,” Harry blurted. He had meant to be more seductive and persuasive, but seeing Draco in his house and just being near him always made Harry a little irrational.

Draco blinked several times and his mouth opened to speak, but no words came out, so he promptly shut it. The look of confusion quickly shifted into a glare that would have melted any other person in place had they not had the practice Harry had with Draco’s glares.

“You’ve finally lost what little bit of your mind you had left, I see,” Draco muttered and made a move to leave.

Harry grinned in spite of himself and reached out to grab Draco’s arm. “Please, just listen to me.”

Draco stopped and sighed but refused to face Harry, so he spoke to Draco’s back. “I just need this one last thing from you. I promise, just do this one thing, and you’ll never hear another word from me again,” he whispered, knowing how true and binding the words were that he spoke.

“How do you expect me to make love to you, if I don’t love you,” Draco responded. His breathing had quickened slightly but he still kept his face away from Harry’s searching eyes.

“Pretend if you have to, I’ve been convinced you had feelings for me before, this shouldn’t be too much of a challenge for a brilliant actor like yourself,” Harry whispered, squeezing slightly on the arm he was holding.

Draco’s body went ridged and he slowly turned to face Harry. “You want me to pretend to love you?” he asked, as if trying to confirm some impossible statement.

Harry only nodded and pulled Draco closer.

--

This was insane—it was destructive and it was foolish.

There was no way Draco could allow himself to be so thoroughly intimate with Harry, not when his feelings were… so close to what Harry asked him to pretend.

Did he love Harry? He didn’t know for sure, but what he did know, was that there would be irreparable damage if Draco were to make love to him. It just couldn’t happen.

But then Harry kissed him, and it wasn’t like any of their heated and passionate kisses before, it was soft and sweet and yearning. Harry’s lips pressed lightly against his and Draco’s carefully organized mind started to spin out of control.

Fingertips trailed lightly over the thin white shirt covering his abdomen, and he flinched reflexively. Draco deepened the kiss, licking against Harry’s lower lip and Harry opened his mouth to him, letting Draco slowly plunder and taste him.

He tasted like home.

Draco groaned against Harry’s mouth at the rumblings of his brain. He needed to stop thinking about Harry in such permanent terms. Harry had been upfront with him, told him that this would be all, that this would be the last.

Well, if this would be the last time he ever got to touch Harry, he would make it memorable.

His mind screamed at him to run away, but his heart and his body outnumbered his logical brain and it was forced into silence.

Harry had melted against him and raking soft fingers up Draco’s back, but clothing was in the way. Draco reached out and stilled Harry’s hands, holding them in his own. Harry looked panicked for a moment, as if Draco were going to stop. Apparently he had no idea that he had stolen away Draco’s will and left him irrevocably tethered to him. Draco couldn’t leave now even if he wanted to, and he knew he should.

“Bedroom?” Draco asked, tugging lightly on Harry’s hands.

Harry’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Upstairs. First door on the right,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.

Draco led the way, pulling Harry gently behind him. It wasn’t lost on him how cozy Harry’s home was. He could imagine himself spending luxurious evening by the fireplace, sipping hot tea and running his fingers lazily though Harry’s raven locks.

It was a nameless future for Draco, but nothing could be done about it now. He would just have to suck it up and cope when the time came for Harry to leave him forever.

Draco shut the bedroom door behind them, though he doubted it was necessary. He wanted his last moments with Harry to be uninterrupted. He ran his fingertips through his curly black hair and sighed at the silky softness of it. Harry moaned and leaned into Draco’s hands, his eyes fluttering closed.

Moving them both toward the bed, Draco laid down first, pulling Harry down on top of him. Harry leaned down and kissed him lightly on the forehead, then on each eyelid and then once more deeply on the corner of Draco’s mouth.

His weight on top of Draco was comfortable and they seemed to fit together like the last two pieces of a rather large puzzle. Everything felt right with Harry pressed against him. He ran his fingernails lightly up Harry’s sides, causing him to shiver and writhe.

The clothing was still in the way, and Draco moved quickly, flipping Harry beside him, and straddled his legs. He took the buttons of Harry’s dark gray shirt carefully into his mouth and unfastened each button slowly and lazily.

When he pulled back, he examined his work, the shirt hung loosely around Harry’s arms and he lifted up to help Draco pull it from his beautiful body. Harry grinned up at him nervously and pulled Draco’s clingy white shit over his head as well.

Draco leaned over and pressed their bare torsos together, placing languid kisses from Harry’s neck down to his chest, carefully rolling his tongue around each nipple until they stood at attention for him.

He could already feel Harry’s erection pressing into him, so Draco ground into it, causing Harry to writhe and squirm. Draco sighed and moaned lightly, relishing the feeling of Harry’s body reacting to any caress, no matter how slight.

Draco cupped his face and leaned in for another gentle kiss, pulling back only to look into Harry’s brilliant green eyes. “How do you want this?”

“I just want you, I don’t care how,” he whispered, his eyelashes fluttering as he blinked up at Draco.

Draco reached for the clasp on Harry’s trousers and pulled them down, finding him completely nude. He raised a delicate blonde eyebrow and smirked. “So confident you would be able to convince me?” he asked.

Harry smiled and shrugged. “Just hopeful,” he replied.

Draco removed his own trousers and boxers and slipped into the bed beside Harry, pulling him close. He had never appreciated Harry in this manner, the way his leg automatically lifted over Draco’s to give him complete access, the way his hips curved perfectly, revealing a flat line of pale flesh that vanished behind a mass of thick back hair and the way his body rested perfectly against Draco’s.

Draco ran a single finger down the length of Harry’s body, from neck to hip, and Harry shivered. Kissing him lightly on the lips, he whispered against them. “You feel so perfect.” He didn’t know why he said it, but it needed to be said, no matter the cost to him later.

“Malfoy, I-“ Harry began, but Draco cut him off with a firm press of lips. He couldn’t stand to hear what Harry might have said. It would only replay in his mind over and over when Harry made him leave and he never saw him again.

He was losing himself in the blissful thing that was kissing Harry when he felt a warm hand wrap around his cock. He shuddered at the touch and ground into it, causing Harry to grin triumphantly.

He loosened his grip and stroked the ridged member several times before licking his lips and moving from Draco’s immediate sight. The sensation of Harry’s tongue made him cry out and wonder how a novice could possibly turn into an expert so quickly.

A fiery wave a jealousy hit him as he wondered what, or who, Harry had been doing in the weeks since he left Draco. His mind tried to hold onto that spark of anger and make Draco leave now, but again he was overpowered by his want to stay with Harry, no matter what.

His orgasm took him by surprise and he thrust, rougher than intended, into Harry’s hot mouth, his whole body rocking in the aftermath. Harry sighed with a mixture of content and longing and Draco pulled him up and kissed him deeply.

Their tongues collided in a fevered rush and Harry moaned into his mouth. Draco could taste his own flavors mixed with Harry’s and pulled him tighter, raking fingers through his soft hair.

Draco wrapped his legs around Harry’s waist and grabbed his still swollen cock. Harry’s eyes fluttered at the contact and his head lolled back. He angled Harry’s cock against his entrance and pressed slightly.

The movement made Harry’s head snap up and his eyes went wide. “I don’t have to, Malfoy, I’m happy to bottom,” he began, but Draco shook his head. If he was going to have only this last time with him, he wanted Harry inside him, filling him.

Harry took a deep shuddering breath and nodded. As he pressed slowly inside of Draco’s tight entrance, a quivering whimper escaped his lips. “Merlin, I never imagined anything could feel this good,” he moaned.

Draco smiled, already feeling so thick with lust that his cock was hard again. It had been years since anyone was inside him. It was rare he found someone he cared about and trusted enough to let them inside him. He was the dominant in every relationship he had ever had, and the chance to let go, particularly with someone he loved as much as Harry, was a welcome change.

Was he in love with him? His mind asked him over and over and finally he had to admit, that to his own detriment, he did in fact love Harry. He was in love with him, everything from his messy black hair, to his hero complex and even his scars were like precious gemstones to Draco, unable to be matched by any other.

Harry was fully sheathed inside him and they rocked together slowly, pushing Harry in and out, slowly building the friction that would lead to release. Harry gripped Draco’s cock and beat him off in rhythm to his own cock’s movements and Draco was writhing beneath him like a wanton whore, begging for more, begging for release.

“Harry, I love you,” he whispered before it was too late for his brain to stop the words from spilling through his lips.

Harry stopped moving completely, seemingly stunned. He leaned down and cupped Draco’s jaw in his free hand. “I love you too, Draco,” he replied softly, seemingly honest.

Draco knew better though. Harry was playing the part, acting the smitten lover that Draco was supposed to be pretending to be. At some nasty turn he had actually become that person.

Harry began thrusting into Draco again as if nothing had happened and Draco’s back arched as a second orgasm hit him, tightening all his muscles in pleasure. Harry came a moment later, spurned by Draco clenching him tightly.

After several shuddering breaths, Harry collapsed on top of him and kissed him fiercely on the cheek. He ran his hand languidly through Draco’s hair and sighed. “That was perfect,” he murmured.

“And now I’ll never see you again,” Draco whispered, willing himself not to cry.

Harry face fell and he nodded. “That was the agreement.”

Draco nodded and pulled himself roughly from the bed, his mind whirring and spinning. He had ruined everything, his life, his career and his simple sense of balance, all with this one act. Was it worth it? His brain asked him that question over and over and Draco didn’t have an answer.

He had told Harry he loved him and was now being told he wouldn’t ever see him again. Even though that truth was made clear beforehand, it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Draco slipped quickly into his clothes, never a protest uttered from Harry, and walked as fast as his legs would carry him, away from Harry’s flat.

Away from Harry.

Away from his own nightmares.

--

Authors Note: Whats this? Another cliffhanger? I didn't put that there? Who is tampering with my writing? I NEVER put cliffhangers at the end of my stories!! also, I've gotten a few random requests for friendship on my other accounts, and I just wanted to say that I pretty much approve anyone, so feel free to add me. I'm digitallace on Myspace, Facebook,Buzznet,Livejournal & Mibba.