Le Frère de Sang

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GENERAL DISCLAIMER - I do not own any of the characters used.

NOTES ON THE CHAPTER - Uh oh…Harry is a little sick and some things come to light about him completely by accident. He also gets a pathetic version of ‘the talk’ with his friend Nathaniel.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Mr Zeeman is on his way to pick you up.” I nodded to the nurse and moved back to my chair. I slumped in it and let my head fall back against the wall. I fiddled with the splint on my wrist, tearing the Velcro apart before pushing it together again and then tearing it. I’d been back to the hospital last week and they’d told me that nothing was broken but I should continue to wear a support for a while.

My wrist wasn’t the reason I was with the nurse though. I was at school, though I only had two and a half weeks left of Summer School left to go. I’d woken up this morning feeling groggy, gone to school feeling a bit worse and now, at lunch time, I was feeling very ill. I had stomach pains and nausea not to mention my headache. The nurse had kindly told me I was running a temperature, though had she asked I could easily have told her that.

I honestly don’t know what caused this. I’m never usually ill, usually my magic stops me from getting ill, or I can ignore everything. It could be down to stress, but the only thing I had to stress about was my exams and I rarely stressed about those. But then again there was a bug going around school at the moment. One of the jocks had a brother who had just come home from the Alps with the flu. The jock had then come down with it and it had slowly gone around school. It was probably that.

“Hi. Where’s Harry?” I looked up at the deep voice and saw Richard stood in the doorway.

“He’s through there Mr Zeeman.” The nurse answered and Richard moved slightly so he could see. He looked at me and looked me over. I saw his nostrils flare, he was smelling. He wouldn’t like the smell. I’d been sick earlier and the smell was bound to linger, despite me casting a cleaning charm on myself. I couldn’t exactly clean the toilet in the nurse’s bathroom though could I?!

“Hi.” I offered feebly and rose to my feet. I picked up my bag and pulled if over my shoulder, my muscles feeling stiff and weary.

“Let me carry that.” Richard pulled the bag from me and effortlessly slid it onto his back. Sodding werewolf strength, that bag was heavy and he made it look like nothing. He put an arm around my shoulders and steered me out.

Richard and I had come to a truce. He would happily ignore the fact that I was bisexual and exploring sex with a vampire who he wouldn’t dob in to the police and I would not tell him about what I did, bring up the subject I enjoyed man sex and I would sit with Richard while we both worked. It helped, of course, that we bonded on our mutual dislike of Anita, though underneath everything I knew Richard still loved her. He just found is a hell of a lot easier to hate her, and I enjoyed our bitching matches. He won every time but that was only because I didn’t bring out the big guns, such as Voldemort.

I slid into the car and Richard shut the door behind me. I felt really rough. Richard drove us home and then had to help me to bed. I had barely enough energy by that point to change so as soon as my head hit the pillow I was out like a light.

“And now – we duel.”

Before I could even react to those words pain hit me like brick wall. It was so intense, all consuming. I didn’t know where the floor was, where I was hell the pain was driving away all memory of me! White hot knives were piercing me from all angles shooting agony through me as strongly as the worst rip tides in history. I could move against the pain, I couldn’t go across it. I couldn’t move because of it. The only outlet I had was to scream.

The pain stopped and I rolled to my feet, staggering because I couldn’t find my balance. Hands pushed me back into the line of sight of the monster.

“A little break, a little pause. That hurt didn’t it Harry? You don’t want me to do that again, do you?”

I hurt. I hurt so much. Sure the pain was mostly gone but it’s memory seemed imprinted on every cell of my body. I was going to die. Just like Cedric. The red eyes, soulless red eyes were telling me I was going to die. There was no way out!

“I asked you whether you want me to do that again? Answer me! Imperio!”

Clouds seemed to encompass me, making me weightless. Bliss. No thought, no pain just bliss. Mindless bliss. I was floating, dreaming. Then I heard it…his voice. He wanted me to say no.

‘Just say it!’ The voice said. ‘Just say no.’

I don’t want to say no…what was I saying no to? What was so wrong with saying no? A two letter word, rolls of the tongue so easily…red eyes. Red pitiless eyes, soulless eyes.

‘Just say no.’

“I WON’T!” I won’t do anything you want me to do! The spell broke and the aches of the Cruciatus curse rushed back.

“You won’t? You won’t say ‘no’? Harry, obedience is a virtue I need to teach you before you die…perhaps another little dose of pain?”

Voldemort raised his wand. Oh hell no! I let my body move as instincts told it and dove to the side behind a grave.

“We are not playing hide-and-seek, Harry. You cannot hide from me. Does this mean you are tired of our duel? Does this mean that you would prefer me to finish it now, Harry? Come out, Harry…come out and play, then…it will be quick…it might even be painless...I would not know…I have never died…”

There was no hope…no help and no hope. I was going to die. Like Cedric…just like Cedric…

Just like Sirius…

His wide blue eyes. His eyes wide in shock and horror as he fell backwards. The veil swallowing him whole. NO! SIRIUS NO! Why wouldn’t they let me go and get him?! LET ME GO! SIRIUS!

Pain tore through me from my forehead. It was agony, so much worse than the cruciatus.

“Going to kill me now Dumbledore? You’ll just kill your little saviour along with me. Come on! Try it Dumbledore.”

Oh god! It hurt! Just do it please! End it! Kill me! Anything to stop the pain! I’d see Sirius again, please just let me be with Sirius! Oh god oh god oh god… White hot pain stabbed at me from every angle. Please let it end…

“Harry!” I tried to look around but it hurt! It hurt so much…

“HARRY!” Blaise? I threw my body forwards. Where was Blaise? I had to find him… I ran forwards. Down one alley and into the next. Blaise was on the floor in a pool of his blood.

“HARRY!” Above him was Voldemort. To one side was the gang, several people doing up their trousers. By the dumpster was Cedric’s body, mangled beyond belief and naked but there. Blaise’s eyes looked up at me. Red eyes boring into me. Thirteen inches, yew with a phoenix tail feather…

“Crucio!” Hurt. Pain. Agony. Torture.

“AHH!” Make it stop! Make it STOP!

“HARRY! Wake up Harry!” I screamed and bolted straight up right. Hands gripped me tightly. Strong hands gripped me and rich chocolate eyes bore into me. Wavy brown hair glistened with copper, bronze, honey and gold. I gazed up at the worried, strong face and felt tears well up in my eyes.

Another set of hands smoother the hair off my forehead and I found myself looking into yellow-green cat like eyes. The masculine oval face had a pointed chin and a slightly pouting lower lip. The brown eyebrows were pulled together in a frown and worry glistened in the kitty-cat eyes. Tears dripped from my eyes and down my cheeks.

“Voldemort killed Blaise! He killed him and Cedric… Sirius… Sirius…Blaise, I’ve got to find him…He’s hurt…Voldemort hurt him. He’s supposed to be dead! Why isn’t he dead?! Voldemort can’t be here he can’t! He’s meant to be dead! Where’s Blaise? I’ve got to find him!” I tried to struggle out of the arms. The room spun.

“You’re okay Harry. It’s okay.” Arms wrapped around me, pulling me against a strong chest. I couldn’t move…but I had to…I didn’t want to move. The strong hands that had pulled me from the dream rubbed my back but I wasn’t in Richard’s arms. Micah’s smell wafted around me and as he pulled my body against him I took the offer of comfort and buried my face into his neck. I didn’t want to move. It was nice here. I allowed the tears to fall. They fell rapidly from my eyes. Sobs shuddered through my body and I cried loudly. I pushed my arms around Micah.

“It’s okay, we’ve got you. You’re alright Harry, it’s okay.” Micah continued to hold me while four hands rubbed my back and soothed my hair. “We’ve got you. It’s okay.”

“Where’s Blaise?” I whimpered and pushed myself further into Micah’s embrace. I gripped him hard against me and cried into his neck and shirt.

“Blaise is gone Harry. But you’re okay, we’ve got you.” I shuddered violently and hugged closer to Micah. I felt a large hand against my forehead.

“He’s burning up. I’m going to call the doctor, see what he thinks we should do.” The bed sprung up, a weight having been lifted from it.

“Richard, get Harry some water? It might help while you speak with the doctor.” Micah’s voice vibrated through his chest and into mine. It was comforting and I pushed harder against it.

“Sure.” Richard’s voice, that hummed through the air rumbling deeply and resounding through the room.

Richard must have come back because Micah’s hands were pushing me away gently. I whimpered. He was leaving me?

“No…nonono. Don’t leave me…” A hand soothed my hair.

“I’m not leaving you Harry. I just want you to drink this okay? Drink this.” A straw was pressed against my lips. I met Micah’s eyes. His gaze was steady through the water in my eyes. “I need you to drink as much as you can okay?”

“Okay.” My voice hitched half way through the word but I did as Micah instructed. I sucked on the straw and cold liquid hit my mouth. I recoiled, pushing backwards as far as I could but Micah’s hands held me still and the straw followed me.

“Come on Harry, it’s only water. I need you to drink some more okay? Come on, it’s just water. It will make you feel better. It will make all the bad stuff go away.” I whimpered but opened my mouth and sucked on the straw again. More water hit my mouth and I swallowed it down. As it travelled down my throat goose bumps from the cold spread down my body. I shivered but kept drinking as Micah urged me. It was hard to swallow but every time I pulled away Micah’s eyes swam into focus. Drinking would make the bad stuff go away? Anything to get rid of Voldemort. Why wasn’t he dead? I sucked some more down.

“Well done Harry.” The straw was taken away from me. I’d been sucking only air instead of water but I hadn’t stopped because Micah had told me he wanted me to drink. “Do you want some more?”

“N-no.” I shivered. “’M cold.”

Micah laughed and stroked my hair again. He didn’t pull me to him again though. I tried to pull my legs up to me, wrap my arms around me to keep me warm but I was so cold and everything was heavy. “You aren’t cold. That’s the fever talking. We need to get you cooled down so I’m going to strip you till you’re just in your underwear okay?”

“No.” I whined but allowed Micah to push me back onto the bed. “Nooo. It’s cold!”

“Come on Harry, it’s okay. You’re just hot stuff. We need to cool you down. That’s it, top off.” Micah pulled the top over my head and away from me and my head thumped back into the pillow. My head was pounding and Micah was the only focused thing in the room. Why wasn’t Blaise here? Where was Richard? Why wasn’t madam Pomfrey with me?

“Where’s madam Pomfrey? Where’s Molly? Is Blaise here yet? When’s he coming? I’m sick…he should come and see me…” I mumbled.

“Who’s he talking about?” I turned my head and there was Remus standing in the doorway. I could sense his wolf.

“Remus…Remus where’s Blaise?”

“He’s delusional Richard. We need to cool him down. What did the doctor say?” Doctor? Did they mean Madam Pomfrey? She was at Hogwarts. Did they have the password to the ward?

“He said just to keep him cool and keep him drinking lots. I brought this.” I couldn’t see what Remus was holding but whatever it was made Micah happy.

“Brilliant. Can you wipe him down and I’ll go and call Anita, Jean-Claude and Asher.”

“Sure.” Micah moved away. He was leaving me!

“Micah! Don’t leave me!”

“I’m not leaving you Harry. I just need the toilet okay? I’ll be right back. Richard will be here, you’re okay.” Remus moved over to me and he sat on the bed but Micah was gone. Remus looked at me and gave me a small worried smile. Then something cold and wet was across my chest.

“Nooo! No! Remus stop it it’s cold!” I whinged trying to move away from what ever the cold thing was. It kept following me.

“Calm down. I’m not Remus. It’s meant to be cold because you are so hot we could fry an egg off you. This will make you better.”

“Make me better?” I stopped my movements and looked up at Remus.

“That’s what I said.”

“Oh.” I muttered.

“Just go to sleep Harry. Close your eyes and go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” I closed my eyes. In the dark behind my eyelids something occurred to me. “Remus? It’s nice to see you again Moony…I thought you died. There was a funeral and everything!”

-

My head hurt. I rolled it slightly to the side. I moved my hand to my head and rubbed my eyes. My limbs were tired but they didn’t hurt or ache or feel like dead weights. They were just tired. I rubbed my eyes and blinked.

“You awake?” I looked over to Micah who was sat on a chair by my bed reading a book. From the look out of the window it was midday, the sun shining brightly through the closed curtains.

“Mmm.” I mumbled and rubbed my face again. I felt dirty; greasy and oily and gross. I pushed myself to sit up. My vision swam slightly and my head began to hurt but it wasn’t too bad. I leaned forwards and rubbed my face again, this time pulling the sheet that was over me up to my skin and rubbing it hard across my face trying to get rid of the oily feeling.

“How do you feel?” I dropped the sheet, tucking it in around me since I was nearly naked.

“Not too bad. What happened?” I vagely remember crawling into bed and something about a doctor and Remus.

“Your temperature skyrocketed through the night and all through yesterday. You’ve been asleep practically the whole time. It’s Friday now. You slept through yesterday, only waking up when Richard and I forced you to so you could drink. Then you went back to sleep. You didn’t wake up at all during the night.” Micah put his book down and pressed a hand to my forehead. His hand felt warm against me.

“You’re temperature’s normal now but I want you to drink lots and take it easy. If you want a shower you can. I’ll make you some breakfast.” I nodded and he offered me his hand. I pushed the sheet aside, blushing furiously at revealing my naked body, besides my boxers. Micah didn’t seem to care, he pulled me to my feet and gripped my shoulders when I wobbled slightly.

“Where’s Richard?”

“He had to go out but he gave us free run of the house.”

“Oh.” Micah steered me towards the bathroom and then left me alone with strict instructions not to lock the door.

I showered, washing my hair and my body twice over before doing the same to my teeth. I could taste vomit inside my mouth, not a nice taste, but I don’t remember being sick. I moved out of the bathroom in a towel still dripping wet from the shower and part way to my room Micah bumped into me.

“Oh. Sorry.” I apologised and gripped my towel to keep it in place around my waist. Micah flushed slightly and moved out of the way.

“My fault. I was just getting the drinks from your room.” He did have his hands full. He slipped down the corridor without saying anything else and I ducked into my room.

My room smelt dirty. I tried to pull my magic to me and it came sluggishly. I sent some out to clean and freshen up the room and it crawled out of me. Had me being ill effected my magic? I pulled on my clothes, a pair of boxers and sweatpants with a loose t-shirt, and left the room to put the towel back in the bathroom. When I entered the kitchen Micah was just serving some rice onto a plate and some thin slices of turkey with some peas.

“Is that mine?”

“Yeah. I don’t know how much your stomach could take but I’m not brilliant at knowing what foods are bad for ill people. I just picked the least greasy, least fatty things I could find.”

“It’s fine.”

“Still feeling okay?” Micah asked and put a hand on my forehead again. I closed my eyes at the touch and nodded. He pulled away.

“My magic feels strange though.” I admitted and Micah nodded, handing me my food and some cutlery. We moved over to the table and he sat down opposite me.

“I’m not surprised.” I groaned.

“What did I do exactly? I can’t remember any of it.”

“You came home ill from school. You had a nightmare which we woke you up from but you were rather delirious. Anyway, after that you only woke up to either throw up, drink or use the toilet. Your nightmares were almost continuous but they were more like night terrors while your temperature was up. You’d lash out at us with your hands or your feet and your magic was out all the time. You must have used most of your magic up. We were just lucky your magic didn’t hurt us. It just pushed your emotions into us. I’ve never felt fear before like the terror you projected.”

I winced. I was projecting during my nightmares? Normally my nightmares were filled with Voldemort and Death Eaters and torture.

“I think you owe me and Richard an explanation Harry.” I winced and put down my fork.

“Being ill always makes things seem worse than they actually are.” I tried to fob him off but Micah hissed at me. I winced again, flinching back from him.

“No, don’t lie. I would like to hear the truth.” I opened my mouth in resignation. “No, wait until Richard comes home.”

I sighed and nodded but continued eating. I barely made it half way through the tiny meal before I was full up. Micah just took my plate and told me to move to the sofa. He put on a film and joined me on the sofa. We watched the film but I fell asleep part way through.

“…send word to the Circus?”

“Course. Told them Harry could visit them when he was better but reinforced that they weren’t coming to my house.”

“Fair enough I guess. Oh…he’s waking up.” I groaned and shifted. My head was resting on something soft and warm. Hands were stroking through my hair, smoothing it out. As I opened my eyes I saw I was lying on Micah’s lap. I looked up at him and tried to ask how I’d ended up in his lap but he completely missed my point.

“Everyone sends their love and they tell you to get better soon but they can’t visit you I’m afraid.” I shrugged slightly and pushed myself to sit up. My hair fell over my shoulder and I flicked it back behind it with my hand before having to cover a yawn.

“How long did I sleep?”

“A few hours.”

“How did I end up in your lap?”

“You slid.” Micah answered, his face betraying nothing. I looked at Richard and offered him a tired smile.

“Hi Richard,”

“I’m glad to see you are better.” I nodded and hummed my agreement.

“Now, I think we deserve an explanation don’t you?” Micah asked in a gentle voice but his eyes were piercing. I shuddered and nodded.

“When I was one…” I told them my story, I explained the war with Voldemort and Dumbledore and my important role. I missed many events, I just gave them the back ground. Since they asked about Cedric and Sirius I had to explain what happened, luckily I managed it without completely breaking down. I told them about the graveyard ritual. I told them all about Voldemort in all his terrifying glory. They asked about Remus, said I’d thought Richard was Remus so I describe him to. I told them about Voldemort casting the killing curse at me and it hurting before I realised I was awake and alive and when he tried to cast the spell against me a third time it hit him instead. I told them about how I absorbed Voldemort’s magic. I described to them the feeling of that disgusting and tainted magic inside me, how it made me physically sick until it changed to become the same as my magic. I told them how everyone but Blaise slowly abandoned me. I told them that we decided to come to America and travelled before settling.

“Thank you for telling us.” Micah said softly into my hair. I gripped him hard, crying into his chest. I pressed my eyes and nose into his chest as hard as I could. My tears spoilt his top but he didn’t mind. My legs were going numb from the angle I was sat at but I ignored them. Their pain wasn’t even comparrible to the pain in my chest from all the memories. I gripped Micah harder and he gripped back, offering me comfort and safety in his arms.

“I’ve never known anyone survive a hell like that. Nobody I’ve ever known has a story like that, except perhaps Nathaniel.” Richard put in before growling. “It makes me sick to know what they forced you to do. You were too young! Hell, you’re still too young! At least now we know why you dislike Anita so much. I can’t imagine how you must feel every time she is near you.”

“You can sense her on others too can’t you.” It wasn’t a question but I nodded in answer anyway. Micah tightened his grip. “I’m sorry, I don’t suppose showering excessively before seeing you would help?”

“No. But she fades, her imprint fades from you so it’s not too bad after a while. I’m getting used to it.” I laughed bitterly and pulled back from Micah.

“You shouldn’t have to. It’s just a shame that you are made so sick by her because underneath every thing Anita is a wonderful person.” I shrugged. I can’t help but be prejudiced. People avoid what makes them sick, I wanted to do the same. It was just a shame that the people I liked best liked Anita, loved Anita, and so were all tainted by her.

“Don’t tell anyone? Please?” I begged them, looking from cat-like yellow-green to chocolate eyes.

“Why not? It would help everyone understand.”

“I don’t want anyone to know yet. Please? Promise me you won’t tell anyone?” Micah and Richard shared a look.

“I can’t promise anything. If there’s an emergency or if I’m incredibly angry I might blurt it out. But I won’t purposefully go and find anyone to tell them, unless your life is at risk.” I smiled my thanks at Richard and he nodded.

“I’ll stay quiet for now but I won’t promise not to say anything. For now, I’ll respect your wishes.”

“Thank you.”

“Now, have a drink and something to eat then go to bed. We will see how you are in the morning.”

Obediently I got to my feet and went to the kitchen. I had a glass of water and ate some crackers before going to my room and stripping for bed. I ignored the sheet that had been covering me and settled under the duvet. I snuggled into the warmth and closed my eyes. Despite having slept for the past few days it was surprisingly easy to fall asleep.

-

“Yes! I won! Haha!” I cheered. “Checkmate! How’s that?!”

“Bloody hell. I’m never going to win this game.” Nathaniel moaned and began clearing up the chess board. We were alone in the house. Richard had gone out to work and I’d persuaded him to let Nathaniel keep me company all day since Micah had work also. Richard agreed after I’d started to put my shoes on to go to Nathaniel’s house to be with Nathaniel. He’d quite clearly told me that I wasn’t going to Anita’s house, ever, and after the things I’d told him I was lucky if he ever let me out of his house. So Nathaniel came around.

“What shall we do next?” I asked and put the lid on the chess set.

“DVD?” Nathaniel asked with a small smirk. “Because I can’t loose when we’re watching a DVD.”

“Sounds good. The sofa’s comfortable.” Nathaniel helped me to my feet then bent to pick up the chess set. I threw myself onto the sofa and made myself comfortable. Nathaniel rummaged through the DVD’s before we both agreed that Richard didn’t have enough good films. We settled on James Bond something or another. All James Bond films have the same theme. Bond has a mission, Bond meets a girl, Bond nearly looses against bad guy, Bond wins and Bond gets the girl. It was near the end of the film, where James was making out with the female lead when I turned to Nathaniel.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.” Nathaniel said easily and turned all of his attention onto me.

“It’s kind of personal.” Nathaniel nodded slowly.

“Okay. What do you want to ask?” I took a deep breath and tried to steel my nerves.

“What’s sex like? I mean actual sex between guys. The whole up-the-ass thing. What’s it feel like, honestly?” Nathaniel stared at me like I was mad then shifted on the sofa so he was completely facing me. He crossed his legs in front of him and took a deep breath.

“It all depends.” My heart felt like it just lodged itself in my throat. That wasn’t a promising start. Nathaniel must had seen something in my expression because he hurried on and gave me a reassuring smile. “If your partner doesn’t care about you or is too rough, especially on your first time, then it hurts a lot and it’s a horrible experience.”

“Umm…”

“But if your partner is gentle and takes care of you then it’s…it’s incredible.” Nathaniel’s face seemed to light up. “I’ve been on the giving end a few times but mostly I just receive and it’s fantastic most of the time. What do you know of the prostate?”

“Um…nothing?”

“Well during sex it releases pleasure like you can never imagine. It’s wonderful. Feeling your partner in you and around you it fantastic but then you add the prostate to it and it’s incredible.” Nathaniel gave me a goofy smile. He was focusing on the good and not the bad. That was a relief. If he told me all the bad things I think I’d completely chicken out, despite having heard about Blaise’s exploits.

“I dunno…it just seems so painful.”

“It can be if you go too fast. You just have to wait until you’re ready. Besides which, you need to be stretched first. Asher will use his fingers first and it you don’t like it you can back down. Asher cares about you. He’d stop if you asked him to.” My face felt painfully red now. Nathaniel was looking at me steadily, knowing full well he’d embarrassed me but willing to wait it out.

“I know he’d stop.” I muttered wiping my face with my hands as if I could just brush away the blush. “I’m just struggling with the concept of things going inside me. Hell, he’s only touched me through my clothes…well, through my underwear.”

“You just wanted to psych yourself up didn’t you?” I nodded and Nathaniel shrugged. “I can’t say I know how you feel. When I lost my virginity it was in the heat of the moment, not time for thinking. Afterwards I didn’t even get a chance to regret it. I got rather addicted to the pleasure from sex. There’s a lot to love about sex. There is a darker side to it but for now just enjoy yourself and if you don’t like something, stop. Simple as that.”

“Is it that easy to say stop?” I asked and Nathaniel looked rather uncomfortable.

“Can be. If you know your limits it’s easy.” I nodded, I’d heard what wasn’t said. Still that was enough for now. Bond had finally finished shagging his newest catch.

“Nathaniel?”

“Mhm?”

“Thanks?”

“Sure.” Nathaniel grinned at me and then we watched the rest of the movie in silence.

-