Shaking in Armor

Chapter 12: Detours by Sheryl Crow

A sharp slap on the face woke Harry. Above him stood Hermione a disapproving look plastered on her face. He sat up slowly wincing as he touched his temple. Closing his eyes again, he laid back down on the couch with a heavy sigh.

"Oh god Hermione, I had the worst dream."

"Oh really what happened?" Her voice was horse and falsely pleasant. Harry looked at her with a quizzical look and then decided seeing Ron and Blaise must be taking its toll on her.

"I was in Godric's Hollow and there were Death Eaters and..."He opened his eyes at a loud scream that rattled the room. He shot up and out of his seat heading towards the kitchen. Hermione however stopped him in front of the walkway.

"Hermione. What's wrong?" His head was throbbing from the physical exertion but Hermione's lip biting told him something was much worse than his head.

"It wasn't a dream Harry." She sighed. Her brown eyes troubled and refusing to look him in the eyes.

"What? Then... Draco!" He pushed past her and burst into the kitchen where Draco's pale hair was splayed over the table with Pansy kneeling next to him working on his hand. At his entrance, all eyes turned to him. After a clear sweep of the room he met Draco's eyes. They were glassy and dull. No depth behind them at all. He almost looked...dead.

"Get out of here, Potter." Blaise snapped as he stroked Draco's pale forehead. Harry ignored him walking across the kitchen to kneel next to Pansy. The brown crusted blood that covered Draco's hand stood in stark contrast to the bright red that was still pooling around the wand. It was long and full of knot and knobs. The light color had taken on the iron red of Draco's blood making it turn from a sandalwood to a deep mahogany. Draco's eyes stayed focused on him as he asked Pansy what he could do.

"You could get out of my way." Her was voice was soft but angry. Harry pulled back alarmed at her hostility. He stood up and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked down at Draco who met his gaze.

"Draco, I-"

"I said get out!" Pansy quipped.

"What the hell is wrong with you two?" Harry asked giving both confused looks. His brain was swirling trying to remember what had happened. Why would they both be like this? It wasn't his fault Draco was hurt. He felt a hand close around his arm and pull him back away from the slytherin trio. He looked back to find that it was Ron accompanied by Luna who rushed to Pansy's side with medical supplies.

"What the hell is wrong with me?!" Blaise said stepping out from behind the table and towards Harry. "What the hell is wrong with you?! You almost got him killed! He could have died and it would have been all your fault."

"What happened wasn't my fault!" Harry said breaking Ron's hold. "I didn't ask to be sent to Godric's Hollow." He said. His voice cracked as the name of his home slipped through his lips.

"No, you just fell down at the first memory of parents, leaving Draco to get you both out alive! He killed 2 people! He sliced his father open and yet the only real injury he sustained was from you and your fucking pulse magic! Tell me did you even bother to look at what situation he was in before you flung him around like some rag doll?" Blaise was right in his face now. His brown eyes flaring and his body heated and tense. "Did you Potter? You heartless piece of shit." He spat his name at him like it was a foul word.

"Hey mate thats not fair." Ron said pushing off the wall and putting himself in between Blaise and Harry. Blaise's eyebrows knotted together and his eyes took on a deathly glare as he faced his lover.

" He's right, you have no idea what Harry has been through." Hermione added placing her hand on Harry's shoulder.

"Of course the golden trio sticks together. Merlin forbid something could be their fault. " Pansy spat from the Draco's side.

" Oh and God forbid Malfoy be anything but the victim." Ron added with just as much spite. The room erupted into a yelling match with slurs aimed both at house and family thrown. Harry slowly slunk back to the wall and braced his weight upon it. His eyes never left Draco's as their friends fought on their behalf.

"Alright enough." George said his voice sounding much like his fathers. "None of you are helping Draco, or Harry for that matter." Both teams clamped their mouths shut but their eyes stood their ground for them."Ron, Hermione take Harry up to his room. Blaise and Pansy... just leave. Go somewhere and calm down. Luna and I have work to do."

Fred ushered them all out despite protests from both sides and with a transfiguration spell and soft click closed the newly formed door to the kitchen. The five stood at the base of the stairs in angry silence.

"Come on Ron. Their not worth it." Hermione said ice dripping from every word. She took Harry's hand and slowly helped him up the stairs. Ron stood his face fixed in fury. With a final glare at Blaise, he followed Hermione up the stairs.
-

With a soft plop Hermione placed Harry on the bed. She knelt in front of him inspecting his hands and face for injuries. Ron barged into the room, his magic alight as he slammed the door. He paced back and forth quickly all the while running his hands through his hair.

"I can't believe their blaming Harry for this. Its absolutely ridiculous! I could just-"

"Ron... It was my fault. I couldn't do anything to stop being there but their right. I'm the reason he's hurt. I'm the reason we have to be in this god damn place. I'm the reason every who has died is dead." Harry's voice cracked at the last declaration. Ron stopped pacing and looked at his friend with wide concerned eyes. He knelt down next to Hermione and looked up at his friend.

"Harry thats not true." He reached up and brushed a tear from the corner of Harry's eyes. "Thats not true."

"I need to be alone." Harry spoke softly and Hermione sucked her lips in, in concern. Ron stood up and pulled Hermione with him.

"Okay Harry. Come down when your ready." Hermione gave him a small kiss on the forehead and followed Ron towards the door. Once they were gone, Harry laid down and stared at the door, letting the realization sweep him away into sleep.

-

Later that night, Harry was awoken by the sound of Fred and Luna saying goodnight. He kept his eyes closed as he listened to the two.

"You sure he'll be okay?" Fred's voice. "Maybe we should keep him in the kitchen."

"No. He needs to rest and a bed is the best place to do that." Luna sounded tired and her lazy whimsicality sounded just lazy as she brushed off Fred's suggestion. "Just get some rest and let him do the same."

A click and shuffling. With a groan and a loud bounce, Fred fell into bed. Draco was in his room. The room that was not 5 feet from where Harry was currently laying. As soon as the typical Weasley snores started, Harry quietly slunk out of bed and into Draco's room.

Harry placed a locking spell on the door and turned to where Draco lay. Luna had left a small candle burning and the light caused Draco's pale skin to glow in the most enticing way. He looked almost ethereal as Harry slowly approached the sleeping man. His shirt had been removed and his hand had a large bandage surrounding it. A pang of guilt hit Harry square in the chest as he knelt next to the slytherin.

"Oh Draco. I'm so sorry." A soft sob broke through Harry's words. " I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm no hero. I'm just a kid who's had a whole lot of luck. You're lucky, you know that? Without you, our whole cause would have been lost. You, you're the hero. Not me. You know just what you want. And you fought for it and stood up against everything to have it. You took so many detours to get here and me? I haven't done anything. I just sit here and look to my past for answers or fumble around until someone gives them to me. All I do is regret living and making this war possible. I know thats awful. But sometimes, I wish I had died with my parents that night. Or with Sirius. I don't deserve the friends and the fame and the glory I have. And I definitely don't deserve you." He laid his head down next to Draco and let his tears soak into the bed sheets. "I'm just a coward."

He looked up at Draco's face. "I'm so scared, Dray." His throat felt as though it was going to close. His eyes had turned into faucets and he wished as hard as he could that Draco wouldn't wake up and see him like this. "I wish I knew what to do."

*