Undesirable - COMPLETE
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
43,509
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301
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
31
Views:
43,509
Reviews:
301
Recommended:
1
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Everything Lost
Chapter Number/Total: 12/31
Chapter Title: Everything Lost
Words: 2866 Words
It had been a quiet day. It was lunch time and Harry was at the table, drinking his soup and sitting beside Draco, much closer to him than he had allowed anyone before. He honestly trusted the other man now and felt safe around him.
"What the fuck?" they heard from the doorway behind them.
Draco looked up to find Ronald Weasley and his sister standing in the doorway of the dining room.
"Oh, Harry!" Ginny exclaimed, glaring at Malfoy as she walked over to rest her hands on Harry's shoulders and look around at him to see if he was all right. "Are you okay?"
Harry flinched and made a small noise of distress. He went still, his eyes wide as he looked to Draco.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ron demanded of Malfoy, drawing his wand.
Draco scowled, his old memories of Weasley making it hard to control his temper. He glanced worriedly at Harry. Taking a deep breath, he placed both hands on the table so Weasley could see he hadn't drawn his wand. "I am supposed to be here," he said as evenly as he could, a bit of his old drawl creeping into his voice.
"Harry?" Ginny asked, slowly pulling her hands back.
Harry turned away the moment Ginny let go of him, reaching for Draco, grabbing his arm with both trembling hands.
Ron still had his wand out but he frowned in confusion as Harry reached for the blond. "Somebody better tell me what is going on here," he demanded.
Draco placed a hand over Harry's on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "If you will put the wand away, I will," he said as calmly as he could to Ron.
Harry pulled his knees up to his chest while still holding on tightly to Draco with one hand and wrapping his other arm around his legs.
"What have you done to him?" Ginny asked, looking just as confused. "Potion or a spell? He hasn't reacted like this with anyone before!"
"If you would both sit down, I can have the house-elf bring us tea and we can talk," Draco said, voice quavering a bit. "Yelling will upset Harry."
Ginny looked wary, stepping around to stand next to her brother. "Harry, please talk to us," she begged, looking at him with pity in her eyes.
Harry didn't look up at either of them, closing his eyes tightly and beginning to rock.
Draco called for the elf and told him to get tea for their "guests." Kreacher went to do so, muttering about blood-traitors.
Ginny looked like she was about to burst into tears and her brother pulled out a chair for her. She dropped into it, watching Harry with obvious distress. Ron scowled but sat opposite Draco. He set the wand on the table and looked suspiciously at the blond. "Why are you here with Harry? Why isn't he still in St Mungo's?"
"I am a Healer. I work with St Mungo’s," Draco said and enjoyed the looks of shock on the other two faces.
"How are you, of all people, a Healer?" Ginny asked, looking suspicious as well.
"Give me a minute," Draco said, turning to face Harry. "You still here with us?" he asked him softly, patting his hand.
Harry made an uncomfortable sound, looking toward the stairs. He wanted to go, to not see these people when he was like this. And the wands and shouting scared him, reminded him of things he didn't want to think about.
"I am right beside you, Harry," Draco soothed, doing his best to ignore the indignant looks of the other two.
"Harry, we're not going to hurt you," Ginny said, obviously offended by the implication and trying to sound as gentle as possible.
Ron's mouth was hanging open in shock.
Draco ignored them both. "No one is going to hurt you," he said in an effort to calm Harry.
"Promise?" Harry asked softly, biting his lip and looking into Draco's face.
Ginny let out a small gasp, as if it were the first time she had ever heard Harry speak.
"Yes, I promise," Draco assured him. "So let me explain it to them." How he was supposed to get two people who hated him to listen to him was a question he didn't have an answer to, but knew he had to try for Harry's sake.
Harry nodded once and stopped rocking, but he didn't pull his hand or his gaze away from Draco.
"Tell us what you did right now, Malfoy," Ginny whispered fiercely, reaching for her own wand.
Ron's eyes narrowed suspiciously but he didn't seem to know what to say. "Harry?" was all he managed.
Harry slowly looked over at Ron, but didn't reply, trying to think of the times they had had together before everything bad happened. Those memories felt like they had happened to someone else.
Draco sighed and turned back to the two redheads. "I finished my education in France and studied to be a Healer at the academy there," he explained. "I recently took a position at St Mungo's, where they asked me to try to work with Harry."
"You? A Healer? And they thought you of all people would be able to help him?" Ginny asked. "He hasn't talked to any of us since he came back! What makes them think that you'd be any help?"
Ron nodded firmly, eyes narrowed. "He hates you," he insisted.
"They had me try to talk to him and he responded to me," Draco explained, tense at having to explain himself to these two. "I have read his file. I know he hadn't responded to anyone in over a year. It's not that unusual for someone who has been through something traumatic to withdraw from people he was close to before the event."
"Event? You mean before Voldemort, your father and his cronies captured and tortured him!" Ron snarled.
Draco flushed and clenched his teeth as Harry began trembling again. Draco sucked in a breath. "You are upsetting Harry," Draco said. "As his Healer, I am going to have to insist your either calm down or leave."
"You insist? How dare you!" Ron shouted, getting to his feet again.
"Ron," Ginny said, eyes locked on Harry who was now whimpering. She reached a hand up and pulled her brother back down. "Sit down and stop shouting."
Ron growled but did so, glowering at Draco.
"I want to know what's so different about you? He did hate you in school. He did. Right, Harry? Don't you hate Malfoy?" Ginny asked, looking over at Harry.
Harry didn't so much as blink an eye at Ginny, looking back down at his half finished bowl of soup instead. She looked different. More mature. And there was a gold band around the ring finger of her left hand that made Harry want to ... cry. He felt his chest tighten and a lump in his throat.
Draco gently squeezed Harry's hand, where it was gripping Draco's arms so hard it would probably leave a bruise. "As far as I know, he did," Draco agreed, not happy about that fact, even now.
"So what did you do to get him to talk to you? And why the hell are you here instead of St Mungo's?" Ron demanded.
Harry's eyes trailed over to Ginny again, trying to think of how it would have been if they were in love and together. If he had gotten through the war without being damaged like he was. Would they have stayed together or would Ginny have just moved on eventually anyway? Harry looked away quickly when Ginny glanced back toward him, his hand sliding down Draco's arm to hold his hand.
"I didn't think they allowed the Healers to live with their patients," Ginny said, still watching Harry.
Draco nodded and huffed. "Well, the rules never have applied to Harry Potter, have they?" he quipped. Then more seriously, "He wasn't responding to the traditional therapies. I thought being in his own home might help."
"Why would he talk to you of all people?" Ron demanded again.
Ginny looked like she was waiting for that reply as well, but she kept looking over at Harry. "And is he doing okay?" she asked.
"I don't know why me," Draco admitted. "Maybe I remind him of the time before the war. But it is a good sign, it means he can respond."
"Harry, why don't you talk to us?" Ginny begged.
"Don't push and I think he might, eventually," Draco urged. "Alienation is a normal symptom for people in his condition. It doesn't mean he cares less about you. In fact, the opposite may be true. He has had trouble interacting with anyone he was close to before."
Ron was still frowning, but Ginny seemed thoughtful and maybe consoled by that. "So how is having him here a good idea?"
Draco nodded. It was actually a good question. "People who spend a long time institutionalised fall into a kind of malaise from the conditions. I thought that if Harry were someplace that felt like home, he might begin to feel more like himself."
"You could be doing anything to him," Ron challenged. "Why would they let you do this?"
"Because the alternative was to leave him to rot in the ward – for years, maybe even the rest of his life," Draco argued. "And I do keep daily notes and send a report twice a week to my supervisor at St Mungo's." Draco continued to hold Harry's hand, thumb caressing the back of it as he spoke.
"He doesn't look any better here than he did there," Ron grumbled.
Draco was about to answer that when Ginny spoke up. "No, he does," she said in wonder. "Look, his hair isn't matted, he is wearing glasses and normal clothes."
"Yes, and he is eating better," Draco added. "Yesterday, we went to Diagon Alley and he bought a new broom."
That made Ginny smile. "You were always the best Seeker I'd ever seen," she said softly, still looking at Harry. Her look changed into something else for a moment, almost into what someone would call wanting.
Harry was watching her and saw the change, which made him frown and look toward Draco again.
"It's good that you came to see him," Draco said. "He needs to get used to people again. But we need to keep the visits short and as non-confrontational as possible."
Ron flushed at that. "Are you telling me what I can say to him?"
Harry pushed his bowl away and rested his head sideways on the table, closing his eyes. The wood was cool against his cheek. He wasn't really tired, but he needed to try to sort things out in his mind.
Ginny waited a moment before she spoke again, her voice low. "Is he still hurting himself?"
Draco worried about that, but he hadn't seen any signs of it, other than the hair pulling, since they had been staying in Harry's home. But it was also why he didn't leave Harry alone. "He hasn't since we got here," Draco answered calmly, thumb still caressing Harry's hand under the table.
Ginny nodded, letting out a small sigh. "The last time we visited, Harry had managed to stash away a fork and ... well." She glanced at Ron. "I didn't ever want to see him like that again."
Draco looked at Harry. He'd read the report, of course, but he didn't like imagining it. "He's not going to do that now," he assured them. "And it probably isn't a good idea to talk about it at this point." He didn't want the Weasleys to further upset Harry.
Harry shuddered a bit, remembering the blood. He opened his eyes but didn't lift his head.
"Right," Ginny said, watching Harry's every move.
"So why don't you tell Harry a little bit about what you two have been up to?" Draco suggested, squeezing Harry's hand again for reassurance.
Ron sighed and nodded. "So we just got back from an away game," he said. "Do you remember that I play professionally now, Harry?"
"Me too," Ginny said, nodding with a smile. "Do you remember when we told you?"
Harry stared at them both blankly, but despite the look on his face, he was thinking. After a long moment, Harry lifted his head and hesitantly nodded a few times, looking between Ron and Ginny.
Draco was encouraged by Harry's response. He had managed to get them talking, and they told a still quiet Harry about their team, the games they played and assured him how much they would love it if he came to see them.
"Hey, mate," Ron told him, "you would have your own seat anytime and always."
Harry wasn't sure if he deserved that, considering the fact that Harry didn't think he was being the best friend he once was. But he nodded again before resting his head on the table with a sigh. He squeezed Draco's hand weakly.
"Harry needs rest now," Draco said. "You two are welcome to come back and visit again soon. I think it would be good for him."
Ron looked confused by Draco talking to him like that. "Um, sure," he said, awkwardly.
Ginny looked a little confused as well, but she nodded, getting ready to stand up. "And, Malfoy? ... thank you. For helping Harry."
"I'll do my best," he assured them. When they had left, Draco turned all his attention back to Harry. "So, how are you doing?" he asked him.
"Ginny's married," Harry whispered, turning his head to look at Draco.
"Yes, she is," Draco confirmed, his heart clenching. "That must be upsetting for you."
Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. He was hurt by it, deeply hurt, but he couldn't blame her. "I'm happy she moved on."
"It's okay to be upset, Harry," Draco assured him, reaching out again to pat his arm. "You cared about her."
Harry's eyes welled up before he could stop it, feeling like he would choke on it. "Can we go upstairs now?"
"Sure," Draco assured him, taking his arm and helping him up the stairs to their room. "You had a long day and need to rest," he said as he helped Harry change into his pyjamas.
Harry laid back on the bed once he was changed, pulling his pillow close and rubbing his face in it to wipe away the tears. He didn't want this to bother him, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought that it could've been him married to Ginny instead of whoever it was she had married.
"Do you love her?" Draco asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I wanted to," Harry admitted, his voice muffled since his face was still pressed into the pillow.
Draco reached to gently rub Harry's back. "It hurts?"
"A lot," Harry whispered, beginning to shake with silent sobs.
"I am ... sorry," Draco said. He understood that one of the challenges Harry faced with getting better was the realisation that his friends had moved on with their lives. It was something he himself had thought a lot about. He sometimes found himself wondering what his own life would have been like if Voldemort had never returned. He imagined how much worse it was for Harry. His job was to help Harry realise that life was still possible, still worth it, even after it all. Grieving the loss was one step toward that.
Harry cried until he felt even more tired, his pillow practically soaked. He turned his head toward Draco and sniffled, shifting closer to him.
Draco kept a soothing hand on Harry, not knowing if more was needed but pleased to see that Harry was allowing himself to feel. It was a good sign.
"Come sleep," Harry whispered, reaching for Draco's other hand.
"You sure?" Draco asked, worried about what had happened after their nap.
Harry nodded, tugging on Draco's hand. "Please ....”
"Sure, Harry," Draco soothed and then got to his feet and changed into his own nightclothes.
Harry rolled over and made room for Draco, pulling the blanket over himself.
Draco slid into the bed and lay there, nervous about what he was doing, but feeling the pull to be near Harry regardless.
Harry threw the blanket over Draco as well, slowly moving closer. "I know you won't hurt me," he whispered.
Draco had a moment to wonder if he trusted himself with the man pressed against him. He tried to remember that Harry was a patient. That this was therapy. But the feel and smell of him was intoxicating. "I won't hurt you," he echoed softly.
Harry shifted and rested his head on Draco's chest, his hand automatically reaching for Draco's hand. "I'm okay," he said to himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.
Draco nodded. "Yes, you are safe," he assured him, thumb caressing his hand again.
"Goodnight, Draco," Harry said softly, rubbing his cheek against Draco's chest for a moment before slowly drifting off.
Draco lay there, watching the other man for a long time before managing to fall asleep.
Chapter Title: Everything Lost
Words: 2866 Words
It had been a quiet day. It was lunch time and Harry was at the table, drinking his soup and sitting beside Draco, much closer to him than he had allowed anyone before. He honestly trusted the other man now and felt safe around him.
"What the fuck?" they heard from the doorway behind them.
Draco looked up to find Ronald Weasley and his sister standing in the doorway of the dining room.
"Oh, Harry!" Ginny exclaimed, glaring at Malfoy as she walked over to rest her hands on Harry's shoulders and look around at him to see if he was all right. "Are you okay?"
Harry flinched and made a small noise of distress. He went still, his eyes wide as he looked to Draco.
"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" Ron demanded of Malfoy, drawing his wand.
Draco scowled, his old memories of Weasley making it hard to control his temper. He glanced worriedly at Harry. Taking a deep breath, he placed both hands on the table so Weasley could see he hadn't drawn his wand. "I am supposed to be here," he said as evenly as he could, a bit of his old drawl creeping into his voice.
"Harry?" Ginny asked, slowly pulling her hands back.
Harry turned away the moment Ginny let go of him, reaching for Draco, grabbing his arm with both trembling hands.
Ron still had his wand out but he frowned in confusion as Harry reached for the blond. "Somebody better tell me what is going on here," he demanded.
Draco placed a hand over Harry's on his arm, giving it a gentle squeeze. "If you will put the wand away, I will," he said as calmly as he could to Ron.
Harry pulled his knees up to his chest while still holding on tightly to Draco with one hand and wrapping his other arm around his legs.
"What have you done to him?" Ginny asked, looking just as confused. "Potion or a spell? He hasn't reacted like this with anyone before!"
"If you would both sit down, I can have the house-elf bring us tea and we can talk," Draco said, voice quavering a bit. "Yelling will upset Harry."
Ginny looked wary, stepping around to stand next to her brother. "Harry, please talk to us," she begged, looking at him with pity in her eyes.
Harry didn't look up at either of them, closing his eyes tightly and beginning to rock.
Draco called for the elf and told him to get tea for their "guests." Kreacher went to do so, muttering about blood-traitors.
Ginny looked like she was about to burst into tears and her brother pulled out a chair for her. She dropped into it, watching Harry with obvious distress. Ron scowled but sat opposite Draco. He set the wand on the table and looked suspiciously at the blond. "Why are you here with Harry? Why isn't he still in St Mungo's?"
"I am a Healer. I work with St Mungo’s," Draco said and enjoyed the looks of shock on the other two faces.
"How are you, of all people, a Healer?" Ginny asked, looking suspicious as well.
"Give me a minute," Draco said, turning to face Harry. "You still here with us?" he asked him softly, patting his hand.
Harry made an uncomfortable sound, looking toward the stairs. He wanted to go, to not see these people when he was like this. And the wands and shouting scared him, reminded him of things he didn't want to think about.
"I am right beside you, Harry," Draco soothed, doing his best to ignore the indignant looks of the other two.
"Harry, we're not going to hurt you," Ginny said, obviously offended by the implication and trying to sound as gentle as possible.
Ron's mouth was hanging open in shock.
Draco ignored them both. "No one is going to hurt you," he said in an effort to calm Harry.
"Promise?" Harry asked softly, biting his lip and looking into Draco's face.
Ginny let out a small gasp, as if it were the first time she had ever heard Harry speak.
"Yes, I promise," Draco assured him. "So let me explain it to them." How he was supposed to get two people who hated him to listen to him was a question he didn't have an answer to, but knew he had to try for Harry's sake.
Harry nodded once and stopped rocking, but he didn't pull his hand or his gaze away from Draco.
"Tell us what you did right now, Malfoy," Ginny whispered fiercely, reaching for her own wand.
Ron's eyes narrowed suspiciously but he didn't seem to know what to say. "Harry?" was all he managed.
Harry slowly looked over at Ron, but didn't reply, trying to think of the times they had had together before everything bad happened. Those memories felt like they had happened to someone else.
Draco sighed and turned back to the two redheads. "I finished my education in France and studied to be a Healer at the academy there," he explained. "I recently took a position at St Mungo's, where they asked me to try to work with Harry."
"You? A Healer? And they thought you of all people would be able to help him?" Ginny asked. "He hasn't talked to any of us since he came back! What makes them think that you'd be any help?"
Ron nodded firmly, eyes narrowed. "He hates you," he insisted.
"They had me try to talk to him and he responded to me," Draco explained, tense at having to explain himself to these two. "I have read his file. I know he hadn't responded to anyone in over a year. It's not that unusual for someone who has been through something traumatic to withdraw from people he was close to before the event."
"Event? You mean before Voldemort, your father and his cronies captured and tortured him!" Ron snarled.
Draco flushed and clenched his teeth as Harry began trembling again. Draco sucked in a breath. "You are upsetting Harry," Draco said. "As his Healer, I am going to have to insist your either calm down or leave."
"You insist? How dare you!" Ron shouted, getting to his feet again.
"Ron," Ginny said, eyes locked on Harry who was now whimpering. She reached a hand up and pulled her brother back down. "Sit down and stop shouting."
Ron growled but did so, glowering at Draco.
"I want to know what's so different about you? He did hate you in school. He did. Right, Harry? Don't you hate Malfoy?" Ginny asked, looking over at Harry.
Harry didn't so much as blink an eye at Ginny, looking back down at his half finished bowl of soup instead. She looked different. More mature. And there was a gold band around the ring finger of her left hand that made Harry want to ... cry. He felt his chest tighten and a lump in his throat.
Draco gently squeezed Harry's hand, where it was gripping Draco's arms so hard it would probably leave a bruise. "As far as I know, he did," Draco agreed, not happy about that fact, even now.
"So what did you do to get him to talk to you? And why the hell are you here instead of St Mungo's?" Ron demanded.
Harry's eyes trailed over to Ginny again, trying to think of how it would have been if they were in love and together. If he had gotten through the war without being damaged like he was. Would they have stayed together or would Ginny have just moved on eventually anyway? Harry looked away quickly when Ginny glanced back toward him, his hand sliding down Draco's arm to hold his hand.
"I didn't think they allowed the Healers to live with their patients," Ginny said, still watching Harry.
Draco nodded and huffed. "Well, the rules never have applied to Harry Potter, have they?" he quipped. Then more seriously, "He wasn't responding to the traditional therapies. I thought being in his own home might help."
"Why would he talk to you of all people?" Ron demanded again.
Ginny looked like she was waiting for that reply as well, but she kept looking over at Harry. "And is he doing okay?" she asked.
"I don't know why me," Draco admitted. "Maybe I remind him of the time before the war. But it is a good sign, it means he can respond."
"Harry, why don't you talk to us?" Ginny begged.
"Don't push and I think he might, eventually," Draco urged. "Alienation is a normal symptom for people in his condition. It doesn't mean he cares less about you. In fact, the opposite may be true. He has had trouble interacting with anyone he was close to before."
Ron was still frowning, but Ginny seemed thoughtful and maybe consoled by that. "So how is having him here a good idea?"
Draco nodded. It was actually a good question. "People who spend a long time institutionalised fall into a kind of malaise from the conditions. I thought that if Harry were someplace that felt like home, he might begin to feel more like himself."
"You could be doing anything to him," Ron challenged. "Why would they let you do this?"
"Because the alternative was to leave him to rot in the ward – for years, maybe even the rest of his life," Draco argued. "And I do keep daily notes and send a report twice a week to my supervisor at St Mungo's." Draco continued to hold Harry's hand, thumb caressing the back of it as he spoke.
"He doesn't look any better here than he did there," Ron grumbled.
Draco was about to answer that when Ginny spoke up. "No, he does," she said in wonder. "Look, his hair isn't matted, he is wearing glasses and normal clothes."
"Yes, and he is eating better," Draco added. "Yesterday, we went to Diagon Alley and he bought a new broom."
That made Ginny smile. "You were always the best Seeker I'd ever seen," she said softly, still looking at Harry. Her look changed into something else for a moment, almost into what someone would call wanting.
Harry was watching her and saw the change, which made him frown and look toward Draco again.
"It's good that you came to see him," Draco said. "He needs to get used to people again. But we need to keep the visits short and as non-confrontational as possible."
Ron flushed at that. "Are you telling me what I can say to him?"
Harry pushed his bowl away and rested his head sideways on the table, closing his eyes. The wood was cool against his cheek. He wasn't really tired, but he needed to try to sort things out in his mind.
Ginny waited a moment before she spoke again, her voice low. "Is he still hurting himself?"
Draco worried about that, but he hadn't seen any signs of it, other than the hair pulling, since they had been staying in Harry's home. But it was also why he didn't leave Harry alone. "He hasn't since we got here," Draco answered calmly, thumb still caressing Harry's hand under the table.
Ginny nodded, letting out a small sigh. "The last time we visited, Harry had managed to stash away a fork and ... well." She glanced at Ron. "I didn't ever want to see him like that again."
Draco looked at Harry. He'd read the report, of course, but he didn't like imagining it. "He's not going to do that now," he assured them. "And it probably isn't a good idea to talk about it at this point." He didn't want the Weasleys to further upset Harry.
Harry shuddered a bit, remembering the blood. He opened his eyes but didn't lift his head.
"Right," Ginny said, watching Harry's every move.
"So why don't you tell Harry a little bit about what you two have been up to?" Draco suggested, squeezing Harry's hand again for reassurance.
Ron sighed and nodded. "So we just got back from an away game," he said. "Do you remember that I play professionally now, Harry?"
"Me too," Ginny said, nodding with a smile. "Do you remember when we told you?"
Harry stared at them both blankly, but despite the look on his face, he was thinking. After a long moment, Harry lifted his head and hesitantly nodded a few times, looking between Ron and Ginny.
Draco was encouraged by Harry's response. He had managed to get them talking, and they told a still quiet Harry about their team, the games they played and assured him how much they would love it if he came to see them.
"Hey, mate," Ron told him, "you would have your own seat anytime and always."
Harry wasn't sure if he deserved that, considering the fact that Harry didn't think he was being the best friend he once was. But he nodded again before resting his head on the table with a sigh. He squeezed Draco's hand weakly.
"Harry needs rest now," Draco said. "You two are welcome to come back and visit again soon. I think it would be good for him."
Ron looked confused by Draco talking to him like that. "Um, sure," he said, awkwardly.
Ginny looked a little confused as well, but she nodded, getting ready to stand up. "And, Malfoy? ... thank you. For helping Harry."
"I'll do my best," he assured them. When they had left, Draco turned all his attention back to Harry. "So, how are you doing?" he asked him.
"Ginny's married," Harry whispered, turning his head to look at Draco.
"Yes, she is," Draco confirmed, his heart clenching. "That must be upsetting for you."
Harry bit his lip and closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before opening them again. He was hurt by it, deeply hurt, but he couldn't blame her. "I'm happy she moved on."
"It's okay to be upset, Harry," Draco assured him, reaching out again to pat his arm. "You cared about her."
Harry's eyes welled up before he could stop it, feeling like he would choke on it. "Can we go upstairs now?"
"Sure," Draco assured him, taking his arm and helping him up the stairs to their room. "You had a long day and need to rest," he said as he helped Harry change into his pyjamas.
Harry laid back on the bed once he was changed, pulling his pillow close and rubbing his face in it to wipe away the tears. He didn't want this to bother him, but the more he thought about it, the more he thought that it could've been him married to Ginny instead of whoever it was she had married.
"Do you love her?" Draco asked, sitting on the edge of the bed.
"I wanted to," Harry admitted, his voice muffled since his face was still pressed into the pillow.
Draco reached to gently rub Harry's back. "It hurts?"
"A lot," Harry whispered, beginning to shake with silent sobs.
"I am ... sorry," Draco said. He understood that one of the challenges Harry faced with getting better was the realisation that his friends had moved on with their lives. It was something he himself had thought a lot about. He sometimes found himself wondering what his own life would have been like if Voldemort had never returned. He imagined how much worse it was for Harry. His job was to help Harry realise that life was still possible, still worth it, even after it all. Grieving the loss was one step toward that.
Harry cried until he felt even more tired, his pillow practically soaked. He turned his head toward Draco and sniffled, shifting closer to him.
Draco kept a soothing hand on Harry, not knowing if more was needed but pleased to see that Harry was allowing himself to feel. It was a good sign.
"Come sleep," Harry whispered, reaching for Draco's other hand.
"You sure?" Draco asked, worried about what had happened after their nap.
Harry nodded, tugging on Draco's hand. "Please ....”
"Sure, Harry," Draco soothed and then got to his feet and changed into his own nightclothes.
Harry rolled over and made room for Draco, pulling the blanket over himself.
Draco slid into the bed and lay there, nervous about what he was doing, but feeling the pull to be near Harry regardless.
Harry threw the blanket over Draco as well, slowly moving closer. "I know you won't hurt me," he whispered.
Draco had a moment to wonder if he trusted himself with the man pressed against him. He tried to remember that Harry was a patient. That this was therapy. But the feel and smell of him was intoxicating. "I won't hurt you," he echoed softly.
Harry shifted and rested his head on Draco's chest, his hand automatically reaching for Draco's hand. "I'm okay," he said to himself, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes.
Draco nodded. "Yes, you are safe," he assured him, thumb caressing his hand again.
"Goodnight, Draco," Harry said softly, rubbing his cheek against Draco's chest for a moment before slowly drifting off.
Draco lay there, watching the other man for a long time before managing to fall asleep.