The Mentor

NC-17!


Chapter 12 - Contemplation


It was almost breakfast time on Sunday morning when Hermione and Severus finally left her bed. Hermione had slept like a babe, curled up against Severus as he spooned around her. Her sleep had been undisturbed and deep.

Snape had not been so fortunate. He had hardly slept at all, and when it did, his dreams were filled with visions of a curly dark haired baby reaching up to grasp his finger. Part of him knew that he had to tell Hermione about the potion, or lack thereof, while another part, the part that was keen on self preservation, kept telling him to keep his mouth shut. He was convinced that once she knew that the potion he gave her was not the one she had assumed, nights like this, having her writhing beneath him, would be over. He did not want to let her go. Besides, there was a chance that she was not even pregnant, so why ruin a perfectly good arrangement unless he knew for certain.

Every time he seemed to reach this decision, his pesky conscience would rear its ugly head and remind him that he had to tell her. And so it went, the internal dialogue, back and forth in his mind as the little witch slept peacefully beside him, wrapped firmly in his arms, blissfully unaware.

They had just enough time to share a shower and a gentle kiss that soon turned quite passionate before Severus left for his rooms. He was not worried about running in to someone in the halls. He always wore the same style of robes, so no one would wonder about him wearing the same clothes. If anyone asked about his presence in that part of the castle, he could claim a pre-breakfast mentoring session with Hermione. The corner of his mouth turned up in a smirk. He would not actually be telling an untruth, he had mentored her, quite thoroughly in fact, several times by his count.

Stalking through the hallways, robes billowing like the sails of a boat, Severus was still fighting his internal battle. Tell her. Do not tell her. Tell her, you bastard. Do not tell her, you will lose her.

Wait!

What?

Lose her. What did that even mean? Did he even have her? True, they did share the most erotic, passionate night of their lives but what did that mean for the future. Future? What the hell!

Severus arrived at his rooms more conflicted and torn than ever. He quickly changed clothes, getting ready to return to the Great Hall for breakfast. He had come to a huge epiphany about the situation with Ms. Granger. The biggest issue was not whether or not to tell her she might be carting his child. The biggest issue was whether or not to tell her that he was falling in love with her.

********

When Severus had ended their kiss at her door, Hermione had stood there, just watching that spot he had vacated. With a cry of pure happiness, she wrapped her arms around her and twirled in circles, gradually spinning until she was standing at the door to her bedroom. Stopping abruptly when she saw the mussed sheets on the bed, she smiled. Her photographic memory, that had served her so well as a student, did not disappoint as she recalled the events of the last thirty-six hours. She tingled just thinking about all the things Severus had done to her; all the things that he had said to her. It was interesting, actually. If anyone else had said or done some of the things that he had, there would have been some hexing. However, Hermione decided that she quite enjoyed the controlling, dominant turn to their love making. Oh, she loved the more gentle Severus as well, but when he had turned dark on her, she could have come on the spot.

Oh wait, she did. Hermione giggled. She had come again and again and again and again, and all of it was wonderful. Many of her friends had spoken about their first sexual experience as something to get passed before it started to get better. They spoke about the pain of the pain when their maiden head was torn, and the fact that most of them did not even experience an orgasm the first time.

Hermione had felt a small stab of pain when Severus had first entered her, but after that it was pure pleasure. He must have added a pain numbing component to the contraception potion. Hermione had never heard of that being done, but assumed that if anyone could, it would be Severus.

Part of her wanted to floo some of her friends and brag about how wonderful it was, but the more practical part of her argued that Severus would not appreciate being the topic of that particular conversation. Besides, who did she know that she could really tell? She imagined sending a letter to Harry or Ginny telling them that she had shagged Snape. Hermione had to laugh again; what a reaction that would be!

Glancing at the clock, Hermione realized that she needed to hurry to get ready for breakfast. After missing meals since dinner on Friday evening, she knew that Minerva would send out a search party if she missed another. Besides, she wanted to see Severus again. This thought made her pause, and a small voice of doubt began to whisper in her mind.

How would he act towards her? Would he be his usually snarky self? Would he ignore her? Would he be cold and distant? After all that they had shared, Hermione was not sure if she could handle it if he treated her like she was not even there. Her earlier feelings of euphoria started to evaporate under the niggling worries. She was not expecting Snape to snog her in front of the Great Hall; he was far to private a man for that, and frankly, she would not mind if their relationship was just between them, at least for the time being.

Wait! Relationship? Hermione paused mid stride as she pushed open her door.
Did they even have a relationship? Would Severus even want one? Was it just sex for him, or did he feel something more? Was it just sex for her? Hermione had no basis for comparison, but in her heart she knew that it was.

Although she tried to keep her mind on a more positive track, Hermione had managed to talk herself in to some fairly negative thoughts. When she finally made it to the staff table for breakfast, Severus instantly knew that something was very wrong.

In that moment, he knew that if he ever had a chance for some type of future with her, he had to show her.

“Professor Granger”, Severus called to get her attention. “I have saved you a seat beside me. I would like to discuss our next mentoring session over breakfast, if you do not mind.”

Snape had startled her. Of all the possibilities she considered, this was not one of them. Giving him a small smile and a nod, she moved towards him, started yet again when he stood to pull out her chair.

Standing close to push in her seat, Severus took advantage of his close proximity to whisper. “Do not look so sad, my little witch. I know what you were thinking and I would never ignore you, never!” He gave a gentle squeeze to her shoulder, and then returned to his seat.

Without speaking, he passed her the plates with all the food that he expected her to eat. When she opened her mouth the object to the amount, he silenced her with one raised eyebrow. “You will eat all of this. Although your curves are lovely, being able to see each of your ribs was worrisome. This is the first step to taking proper care of yourself.”

Hermione bristled a bit at being told what to do, but when she caught Minerva giving her an approving look, she decided to bite her tongue.

“Professor,” Severus began, “I would like to meet with you later this afternoon. I have some marking that needs to be done before tomorrow, as I am certain you do as well. Come to my office at four. Bring all of your lesson plans, and bring all of your research materials.” He reached under the table to gently rest his hand on her thigh, flexing slightly to let her know that his brusque command was for the benefit of the other staff members that were within earshot.

“Certainly sir,” Hermione answered demurely. “Thank you for taking time from your busy schedule to accommodate me. I am not sure how I will ever thank you for the assistance.”

“I am sure that I can think of something.” Another squeeze of her thigh belied his bored tone.

When breakfast ended, Hermione was again experiencing that familiar sense of euphoria. Throughout the meal, Severus said little, but his hand did delicious things to her thigh. She was wet, yet again, certain that this was going to be in a permanent condition whenever he was near.

Severus was pleased at how he handled the first public encounter with his little witch. He was not overly demonstrative; none of the other staff members had the vaguest inkling that their relationship had become anything more than professional. Yet he was able to give Hermione the subtle cues to let her know that he remained very interested in her. It was sign, he hoped, of how well she knew him that Hermione did not try to engage him in a more intimate conversation at the table.

But perhaps that meant that she was embarrassed for others to know. Severus would not even consider that possibility. His little witch did not have that kind of a mean streak; she was too gentle and loving. When she was a student, he can remember her helping any student that asked for help, regardless of their social status. No, she was an intelligent woman who understood that their relationship did not need to be broadcast across Hogwart’s.

“Professor Granger, may I escort you to your rooms?”

“Actually Professor Snape, I was planning to work in my office for a few hours. Would you care to walk with me?”

“Certainly. It will give us some more time to talk about your research project.”

Severus rose first, turning to pull out Hermione’s chair, and then tucking her hand in the crook of his elbow. She considered herself a modern woman, and ordinarily would have bristled at this type of chivalrous behaviour, but when coming from Severus, it felt romantic. They both said their goodbyes to Minerva, who thanked them for setting such a good example of the mentoring situation for the rest of the staff.

If they only knew.

**********

Severus and Hermione did not speak as they walked to the transfiguration office. Most of the students were still at breakfast, or sleeping, and Hermione felt comfortable enough to lean against him as they walked.

Arriving at the door, Severus turned to look at Hermione, using his index finger to gently raise her chin so that he could make eye contact.

“I worry that you thought I might ignore you, my little witch. Surely, after the time we have spent together you would know that I would never do that to you. I may not be a demonstrative person, but I would never do that to you.”

“I am sorry that I doubted you. This is just all so new, and it is exciting but also a little disconcerting as well.”

“You have to know that what we shared was very special. A connection like that is a rare thing, and I make it a point to never turn my back on rare things.”

Moving forward, Severus placed a gently kiss on her cheek, and then raised her fingers to his lips.

“I will see you at four. Please do not be late and please bring all of your materials with you.”

Hermione could only nod in response. With those soft kisses to her cheek and fingers, Severus had left her breathless.