You Can't Always Get What You Want

Disclaimer: See chapter 1

A/N: Thank you for all your support and reviews for YCAGWYW. Actually knowing that people are actively reading and enjoying the story does help me to update quicker, as I feel obligated to continue on and entertain you all.

Sorry it's a short one but it's an update all the same guys!

Ladies and gentlemen, please put your hands together for my new beta; the wonderful Gypsy Lupin-Black.


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Chapter 12

Sirius continued to sit on Remus’ old bed long after his sobs had ceased and the salty tears had dried on his cheeks. He just sat; staring into space, pondering recent events.

Why, oh why, oh why had he revealed the one secret he had vowed to keep? It wasn’t even like he’d let it slip to just one or two people by mistake.

Hell, he’d let everyone know that Remus was a werewolf.

No- it was worse than that. He’d announced to the whole fucking school that Remus was a gay werewolf!

James was right; he was a spoiled bastard. He’d only done it because Remus had rejected him.

Fuck! No one had ever rejected him before. Except maybe his own family but shit, he didn’t give a toss about that. They were all fucking crazy anyway.

But what really got him thinking though, was what the Bratherton kid said to him.

Was he gay?

Yes, he fancied Mooney but he also fancied girls as well and he’d never given any other bloke a second look. So did that make him gay? No, surely that made him bisexual didn’t it?

As much as he hated to admit it though; the Ravenclaw had him bang to rights. He had thought that if Remus did it to him and he didn’t reciprocate, that he couldn’t classed as queer.

Not that he hadn’t wanted to touch Remus when they’d engaged. No, deep down he’d wanted to take the werewolf into his mouth too and give him the same pleasure he’d received. But there was a huge difference between sexual fantasies and the reality of the actual act.

There was also the fact- not that Sirius Black would ever admit to it- but he’d been scared to do it. He knew he was a good heterosexual lover. Damn it, he’d been told so, often enough and he always made sure that his partner got off as well.

It wouldn’t be good for business if he was a selfish lover!

Sirius snapped out of his musing. Moping around wasn’t going to help him sort this sorry mess out. How did he stop Remus from being expelled? How did he get Remus to speak to him again? Apologise to him and return their friendship to its previous state?

He genuinely didn’t know. Bratherton seemed to think that Mooney wouldn’t see him, but if he appeared suitably remorseful maybe Remus would speak to him.

The dormitory door opened and James came in. He glared at Padfoot briefly and went about what he was doing.

It wasn’t just Remus’ friendship he had to reclaim but that of all the Marauders.

He rose and cautiously approached Potter.

“Er, James, I know I’ve cocked up king style but I want to make amends. I don’t want this to be the end of our friendship. I’m going to go to Dumbledore and explain everything to him. Maybe he can do something to stop the governors from expelling Mooney.” He told him quietly.

James didn’t look at him; simply carrying on with what he was doing as he replied.

“Don’t bother Sirius.” At least he addressed me by my first name, Sirius thought. “Dumbledore knows everything and there’s nothing he can do to prevent it. That’s why he’s trying to get Remus to complete N.E.W.Ts before they kick him out of school.”

“I don’t think he knows everything but if I go and see and expla-”

“No Sirius, he knows everything!” Prongs said for emphasis.

“Oh! …So you know then.”

“Yes, I do." James rounded. "You stupid bastard, I can’t believe that you would ruin a perfectly good friendship for the sake of a sordid experimental fumble in a broom cupboard. Couldn’t you have found some other bloke's mouth to stick your cock in, if you felt like batting for the other team for a change?

“Don’t you dare refer to what I did with Remus as sordid!” Sirius saw red and shoved James hard.

“You’re off your fucking head!” Prongs yelled, shoving him back. “You’re defending him, not twenty four hours after ruining his life. You fucking hypocrite.”

All of the fight left Sirius and he collapsed into a tearful heap on the floor; a horrified James looked on. In the seven years he had known Padfoot, he had never once seen him cry. Despite Sirius' recent misdeeds, he actually began to feel sorry for the animagus.

It was obvious from his outburst that he had deep feelings towards Lupin, maybe even…

Oh my God! James thought.

“You’re in love with Remus!”

“What!?”

“That explains it. You were jealous that he’d got a boyfriend and when Remus told you that he didn’t want to carry on with you, you got revenge.”

“No that’s not what happened at all.” Black denied hotly.

“Bollocks! You’ve never cried over anyone else you’ve fucked, so why Mooney if you don’t love him. You’ve certainly never defended anyone else you've screwed.” James exclaimed.

Sirius tried to deny James’ analysis but he found himself unable to. Was this the reason he’s acted so unreasonably towards Remus?

Because he loved Remus?

He was in love!

He started grinning stupidly.

“I love Remus Lupin.” He admitted giddily and then suddenly burst into tears once again.