It's About Time

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Chapter Twelve.

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“Is something on your mind?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean… You’ve been so distracted lately, Sirius.”

Callie watched him for a moment while he gazed over the grounds as they sat on a wooden bench near the greenhouses on the cool fall night, his arm slung casually over her shoulders.

“Sirius…?” She said trying to recapture his attention.

“Hmm? I’m sorry, what was that?” He asked, not having heard a word she’d said.

She shook her head and sighed.

“I was saying that you’ve been distracted lately.”

A faint smile crossed Sirius’ face as he seemed to recall something.

“Have I been?” He asked casually.

“I think so,” She answered with an ironic laugh.

She turned her petite body so she was facing him and studied him silently. He truly was devastatingly handsome… effortlessly so. As he stared out into the darkness, his eyes fixated on some distant point, she admired the way his hair fell naturally yet perfectly across his forehead.

Lucky, wouldn’t even begin to describe what Callie knew her current position to be.

Any girl in school would kill to be sitting in her place at this very moment. But Sirius’ recent apathy was not lost on her and while she may have been considered by the rest of the school as one of Sirius Black’s “bimbos”, Callie was, in fact, a very smart girl.

She reached over and laced her fingers through his, squeezing his hand and gaining his attention finally.

“Are you sure everything is alright?”

Sirius smiled passively at her, covering her hand within both of his.

“Of course,” He said haughtily. “You shouldn’t worry so much.”

She snuggled a bit closer into his side and said sweetly, “Well, I wouldn’t worry except that I’ve never known you not to take advantage of darkness or solitude when we’re together.”

A suggestive smile graced her lips as she looked up at him.

Sirius furrowed his brow and gave her a sideways glance, considering his response. He ran his thumbs over her hand before making up his mind.

“Actually, Callie,” He said decidedly. “I think I am going to head back in.”

Her mouth fell open slightly, in shock at his sudden decision.

“Um, sure,” Forcing a smile onto her face, she stood with him. “I think I have a Transfiguration essay to complete anyways.”

They walked in silence back to Ravenclaw tower. As they reached the door, Callie reached up and kissed Sirius on the cheek before bidding him goodnight and quickly heading into her common room, her head lowered slightly in disappointment.

Sirius turned slowly and decided to let his feet carry him wherever they deemed fit. He knew this school so well that he simply surrendered control and allowed himself to wander aimlessly in his pensive state.

‘Callie,’ He thought to himself. Callie was extremely beautiful, an undeniable fact. But, in all honesty, he knew she was right. He had been distracted as of late.

He couldn’t help it. Every time he saw Callie, rather than appreciate her long, satiny blond locks; visions of curly hair and wry smiles danced through his head instead.

When he would kiss Callie, all he could envision were Hermione’s expressive brown eyes… eyes that spoke volumes more than she would ever consciously divulge.

And the most infuriating thing of all was that Sirius knew what he had seen in those eyes the night they had shared under the stars while James was away.

Desire.

He was positive. She wanted him that night just as badly as he wanted her. Yet, she remained with James. The mere idea of the two of them together made him feel sensations that he had never experienced in his life. He couldn’t even bring himself to say it aloud but… he was jealous. Jealous of his best friend and it sickened him.

He should have been thrilled that James had finally met a girl who cared for him after so many years of fruitlessly chasing Evans. But did it have to be the one girl whose mere presence made Sirius’ stomach flutter in ways he’d only ever heard first-year girls giggling about?

Before too long, he found himself standing in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady who winked at him flirtatiously before asking him for the password. Sirius took a deep breath and attempted to void his face of any emotion that would give away his inner-turmoil should he encounter Hermione or James… or worse, both of them… together.

It was too close a call last time, when Lily’s hex had caused his friend to become stuck to Hermione. Sirius had been compelled to lie that he had some sort of tryst with Callie in order to get away from them before he hexed James himself… purely out of frustration.

He forced his trademark smirk onto his face, recited the password and, once the Fat Lady had granted him access, he strutted into the common room. Looking around the room confidently, Sirius noticed a few stray underclassmen, all of whom watched him flatteringly as he entered. He ignored them and continued to scan the room.

In a cushy chair, far in the corner, Sirius spotted Remus, engrossed in a book that he held open in his lap.

Sirius flopped into the armchair across from the quiet werewolf in the corner and sighed loudly… the feigned smirk disappearing from his face instantly.

Remus glanced up over the top his book.

“Something wrong, Padfoot?” He asked as though he’d been expecting him.

Sirius combed his fingers through his hair and leaned back into the comfort of the chair, throwing one leg over the armrest. But he said nothing.

Closing the book and setting it on the table beside him, Remus rested his chin in his hand and turned his attention to his friend.

Of the Marauders, Remus was always Sirius’ preferred confidant. James was his best friend and Peter was his chief devotee but when Sirius needed to vent or sought advice, Remus’ quiet disposition and trustworthiness proved him to be the best choice.

Remus treasured his friend’s trust and, therefore, was always able and willing to provide an ear to listen as Sirius voiced his concerns, though in this case, it appeared that he would have to initiate the conversation.

“Did something happen with Callie?” He asked, already anticipating the answer.

Sirius laughed bitterly and shook his head, staring out the window.

“No,” He informed cynically. “Nothing happened with Callie. That’s the problem.”

Remus raised his eyebrows, not sure that he had understood.

“What do you mean?”

Sirius placed a hand over his eyes broodingly and tried to articulate his thoughts to his friend.

Speaking in his low, deep voice, Sirius began to confide to his friend the impasse at which he stood.

“I like Callie,” He began, still searching for the right words to explain himself properly. “She’s great… smart, funny, bloody gorgeous…”

“But?” Remus urged when Sirius trailed off.

“But… I can’t be with her without thinking about… it’s not that I want to… but I shouldn’t…”

Sirius growled in aggravation at being unable to coherently express himself, eliciting stares from a few scattered students in the room. He paid them no attention as he sat up and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“I haven’t felt like this before, Remus,” He confessed in a subdued voice that was barely more than a whisper.

Remus knew instantly what Sirius was meant by his cryptic phrase. He, more than anyone else, had noticed the telling looks between his friend and Hermione though he hadn’t expected him to actually admit it.

He ran a hand over his face and glanced around the room to ensure there were no interloping young Gryffindors within earshot.

“What about – ”

“About Callie?” Sirius filled in angrily. “I don’t know. Part of me doesn’t even care.”

“Yes, you do,” Remus told him lightly.

“I can’t be with her… I can barely be around her,” Sirius admitted, not acknowledging Remus’ remark.

Remus smirked at him.

“Since when have you ever had any qualms about breaking up with one of your flavors-of-the-month?”

Sirius accepted the joke with a small smile.

“Touché.”

“You have to tell her though, Padfoot,” Remus pointed out.

“I know but… if I did… if I do... that means I am breaking up with her for…”

He paused to brace himself, admitting this out loud would only make it all the more real.

“…for Hermione,” He finally uttered, followed by a relieved exhale. As unsettling as this situation was, he could not deny that it felt good to finally say it aloud.

Remus nodded, having suspected for quite some time that Sirius was harboring feelings for the bright witch. He remained silent though, willing him to work through some of this on his own.

Sirius stared at the floor, tracing the paisley pattern of the carpet with his eyes.

“I don’t know what to do, Moony,” He whispered. “Tell me what to do.”

“You know I can’t do that,” Remus advised, though he truly wished otherwise.

The loud, boastful nature that his friend was notorious for was such a stark contrast to the Sirius who was currently sitting before him that Remus was nearly at a loss.

He had never known Sirius to have genuine feelings for any of the female students that always admired him so. None of them had ever posed enough of a challenge to really capture Sirius’ attention… until Hermione had come into their lives.

“You really care for her,” Remus stated.

Sirius nodded, his head still down.

“Are you going to tell James?” Remus asked pointedly.

Sirius raised his head so his eyes met Remus’.

“He’s my best friend.”

These were the words that had been replaying through his head for weeks now. Every time he tried to convince himself to ignore his burgeoning feelings for Hermione… for no other reason than to spare James’ feelings.

“He’s my best friend. I can’t tell him, can I?” Sirius asked Remus. It was meant rhetorically but Remus heard the pleading undertones as though Sirius was hoping for his friend to grant him permission to make the choice they both knew was wrong.

Sirius watched Remus intently as he spoke, knowing full well what he would say before the words left his mouth.

“I’m afraid I can’t answer that for you, mate,” Remus said apologetically. “But I think you already know the answer.”

Sirius nodded… that was precisely the response he had expected. Though, he fleetingly wished that Remus wasn’t so damned righteous and would simply tell him what to do.

“I’m a bloody git, aren’t I?” Sirius mused.

“Yes, you are,” Remus agreed, with a smile. “But you were a git long before this happened.”

Instantly, the two friends burst into alleviating laughter, both finding something therapeutic in the opportunity to laugh at such an incomprehensible situation.

Sobering from the brief expulsion of mirth, Remus gave Sirius a perceptive look.

“You are too good a friend to James to tell him. You and I both know that,” He said meaningfully.

Sirius shrugged.

“How could I? His family took me in when I left home… He’s my friend… my brother,” He said in bitter acceptance. “Prongs would never… he would never do that to me.”

He beat his fist into the armrest of the chair in resigned frustration… angry with himself for ever even considering harming his friendship with James.

“James is a fiercely loyal friend,” Remus offered in agreement. “And so are you.”

Sirius scoffed at Remus’ remark.

“A loyal friend wouldn’t – ”

“What?” Remus interrupted, sensing a rant coming on. “Have feelings for a pretty girl completely against his will? Give yourself some credit, Padfoot… you haven’t done anything wrong.”

“Well, what am I supposed to do now?” Sirius mumbled, wondering whether or not Remus would still believe him to be innocent if he’d known about the brief kiss he and Hermione had shared.

“I suppose, now, you– Prongs!” Remus’ eyes widened in surprise then he quickly shot Sirius a sharp look and jerked his head to a point over Sirius’ shoulder.

Sirius’ head shot up and he swiveled around. Sure enough, James was striding towards them across the room, grinning broadly.

Sirius tried to force all thoughts of Hermione out of his head as his friend approached them. He repeated his mantra silently to himself.

‘He’s my best friend. He’s my best friend…’

James pulled over an ottoman from nearby and sat down between his two friends, the smile still plastered to his face.

“Merlin, it’s a nice night out!” James exclaimed happily. “Wouldn’t you both agree?”

He looked back and forth between Remus and Sirius jovially. Sirius had an oddly strained look upon his face while Remus just raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“You didn’t accidentally take Euphoria Elixir again, did you, because last time Pomfrey was furious tha –”

James just laughed loudly as he cut in.

“No, Moony... I most certainly have not taken any potions.”

“Then why, might I ask, are you grinning like an idiot?” Remus asked with a teasing laugh.

“Ah. Because, my friend, I have just spent an exhilarating evening with the lovely Miss Granger and you couldn’t wipe this grin from my face, if you tried,” James boasted in a joking manner.

Remus sneaked a quick glance at Sirius whose expression clearly threatened, ‘Trust me, I’d like to try.’ He quickly tried to think of something to say before Sirius decided to voice these evident thoughts.

Then, spotting Peter coming down from the dormitory Remus beckoned him over, shouting, “Wormtail!”

Peter jumped when he heard his name but hurried over to greet his friends and sat upon a second ottoman, eager to join in the conversation.

“What’s going on!?” He asked excitedly. “Hey! I saw you and Hermione walking out by the lake, James!”

“Did you now?” James chuckled, nudging Peter in a telling fashion.

Peter smiled and nodded, thrilled to be a part of this inner circle.

“By the lake?” Sirius asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Indeed, Padfoot,” Said James, anticipating Sirius’ usual barrage of questions asking for all the details. But Sirius said nothing, he just looked out the window and glared in the general direction of the Great Lake.

Rather, it was Peter who chimed in, practically bouncing up and down in excitement.

“What happened? You kissed her?!” He squeaked.

James’ grin faltered briefly and his face reddened a tinge.

“Well… no…,” He answered.

Sirius looked away from the window and directly at his friend.

“You didn’t?” He asked seeking reassurance… though James misinterpreted the look as shock.

“Err… no,” James ran his fingers through his unruly raven hair in embarrassment. “We just talked really but – ”

“So, you haven’t kissed her yet?” Sirius implored him, his dark eyes shining hopefully.

Forcing a laugh to cover his slight awkwardness at not having kissed his… well, technically his girlfriend, James shook his head.

“Not yet, Padfoot. But you will be the first to know when I do,” He concluded in the tone of their usual playful banter.

Sirius couldn’t even attempt to hide the grin that spread across his face. He was elated at this discovery.

“You do that, Prongsie. You do that,” He chided and they all laughed, even James eventually joined in.

Soon Sirius stood and stretched his arms above his head with a great yawn. He bid his friends goodnight and headed towards the boys dormitory, grinning like an idiot the entire way.

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Two days later, Alice Bruneau marched into the Great Hall with her wand clenched in her fist, her face bright red with fury. Catching sight of her intended victims seated at the table, laughing amiably amongst themselves, she tore across the room and pointed her wand at each of them in turn.

“Which of you did it?” She hissed threateningly.

Now, if faking innocence was a course in school, the Marauders would not only have achieved full marks on every exam but would have written the curriculum themselves. However, Alice had known the four boys far too long to allow their wide, naïve eyes and childlike expressions to fool her.

Alice turned and glared at James, breathing furiously though her nose as she always did when she was really angry. James unsuccessfully fought back laughter as he imagined her breathing fire from her flared nostrils like a Hungarian Horntail.

“What is so funny, Potter?” Alice snarled.

He stopped laughing at once. For a girl whose usual temperament was as gracious as could be, Alice could be terrifying when provoked.

“N- Nothing,” He answered her, stuttering slightly when he noticed her wand rising steadily to his eye level.

She raised one eyebrow and studied him penetratingly as though searching for any sign of weakness. James resisted the urge to shrink down beneath the table away from her ferocious glare, instead he held her gaze as best as he was able.

After Alice seemingly failed to find a trace of guilt upon James’ face, she turned to the boy beside him.

“Black,” She addressed through clenched teeth. “Have you anything to say for yourself?”

Shooting her the most charming smile in his repertoire, Sirius leaned closer to her despite his misgivings about the wand she still held up ominously.

“Only that you look radiant today, Bruneau,” He complimented her with a wink. “Have you changed your hair?”

“That won’t work with me, Black, and you know it,” She said as she glowered at him. “Now, which of you Marauding Morons put the Perma-Stick Jinx on Frank’s broom?”

A few Gryffindor spectators snickered, including James, Sirius and Peter.

Remus, having perfected his blameless guise, merely sat and watched the scene unfold. Nadine caught his eye from the next table and he smiled at her mischievously, noticing that a number of Ravenclaws were also watching Alice with great interest.

“It isn’t funny!” Alice protested, the volume of her voice rising dangerously. “Frank is in the hospital wing!”

Remus pressed his lips together as laughter threatened to explode from his mouth. The image of Frank Longbottom trying to dismount his hexed broom was painfully hilarious.

Sirius chuckled and smiled roguishly.

“Don’t worry. Longbottom didn’t lose his bollocks, did he?” He asked with a concerned pretense.

The surrounding crowd erupted with mirth and Alice’s face turned from red to purple. James was sure that steam was going to spew from her ears at any moment.

Speaking very slowly, Alice leaned over Sirius treacherously and spoke very slowly in a controlled rage.

“No, Black,” She spat. “He didn’t lose any bollocks. But he didn’t know how to reverse the jinx. How would you like to try and sit still while Madam Pomfrey removes a Perma-Stick Jinxed broom from your nether-regions?”

Sirius paled at the notion.

“That’s what I thought,” Alice surmised as she observed his reaction.

“But it isn’t us you should be angry with, Bruneau,” James broke in.

Alice’s eyes shifted to look at the Head Boy.

“Oh no?” She asked bitingly. “Then to whom do I owe the pleasure?”

James struggled to speak clearly, barely concealing his impending hysterics.

“We learned the Perma-Stick Jinx from… from Evans,” He managed to get out before he burst into laughter along with a large portion of the Great Hall.

Lily, who was seated on the opposite side of the table, heard her name mentioned in the midst of what appeared to be yet another Marauder skirmish and she stood, craning her neck to hear what was said next.

“She ought to be more careful before she hexes one of us,” Sirius laughed.

Alice just rolled her eyes.

“Well, no doubt, you deserved it. Frank, on the other hand, hasn’t done anything.”

Sirius grinned at her again, which she found even more infuriating.

“Frank appreciates a good prank. Once all of his bits are healed, he’ll be back in top form,” He said confidently.

Alice caught Lily’s gaze as the redhead came over to stand beside her and shook her head, they were both thinking the exact same thing.

“Prats,” They scolded in unison before stalking out of the hall amidst a room full of boisterous laughter.

Hermione entered the Great Hall just in time to see Alice and Lily storm past her. She turned and watched them go before looking back towards the Gryffindor table with a suspicious raised brow.

The laughter was dying down as she approached James and his friends.

“Let me guess,” She began with a smile. “You had nothing to do with that?”

As she pointed in the direction that Alice and Lily had gone, James wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down into his lap.

“Us?” He asked innocently. “We were just sitting here minding our own business when – ”

“When someone stole your wand and hexed Frank’s broom?” Hermione summed up, with a feigned innocence of her own. She may not have been a Marauder but she was one-third of the Golden Trio… she certainly had a few tricks up her sleeves.

James gaped back at her.

“Er… yes?” He answered, waiting for another female-type outburst.

Hermione leaned in closer to him and smiled coyly, ready to whisper a response to him but before she could Sirius piped up.

“How did you know?” He asked, looking at her doubtfully.

Shifting in James’ lap, Hermione turned to face the handsome teenager.

“I was in the library and saw Frank from the window while he was out flying… and when he tried to get off his broomstick… he… well…” She blushed as she struggled to find words to explain the scenario without having to name specific parts of the male anatomy. “Let’s just say that the last thing I saw, was Frank walking awfully slowly back to the castle with the broom still held between his legs.”

Laughter ensued once more as everyone pictured Frank in that precarious position.

“You boys are incorrigible,” Hermione mused, trying to admonish them but failing miserably. It was impossible to even pretend to be stern when she was sitting on James’ lap… and staring into Sirius dark eyes… twinkling with amusement…

Damn! She was staring again. Cursing herself for succumbing to his gaze again, she turned her back to Sirius and focused all of her attention solely on James. Well… all of her attention that wasn’t still lingering on about the captivating male sitting directly behind her.

“Have you completed your Potions essay yet?” She asked James, determined to force Sirius out of her mind.

“Not yet. But I’ll have it done in no time,” James smirked. He combed her curly hair behind her ear as he spoke a bit softer, “And after that, would you be interested in another walk by the lake tonight?”

She smiled tentatively and shifted from James’ lap onto the bench beside him.

“I have to meet with Dumbledore this evening… but… after that, I would love to go with you.”

“Excellent,” James quipped. “Then, I shall meet you in the common room later tonight.”

Hermione smiled and nodded.

“Well, with you for motivation I ought to get upstairs and finish this essay,” James said gallantly. He stood up but paused suddenly. Then, quickly turning back he leaned down and kissed Hermione on the cheek before grabbing his school bag and walking away from the table.

Hermione blushed and bit her bottom lip. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Sirius look at her, so she busied herself by spooning some potatoes onto her plate. Her plan to stay as late as possible in the library so as to avoid being around Sirius had failed dismally.

For some reason beyond her own comprehension, whenever she was near him she was overcome by an urge to stare into his dark eyes. There was something about them that made it next to impossible to function properly. So, she chose to stare at her potatoes instead. Not exactly a happy medium but it would have to do if she were going to avoid being the girl with the “staring problem”.

Across the table, Remus had caught Sirius’ reaction to the brief kiss James had placed on Hermione’s cheek. An array of emotions running the gamut from anger to defeat had crossed over his friend’s face… but now, it had seemed to settle upon resentful.

An uncomfortable silence had taken over and Remus tried to rectify it by making conversation since it didn’t appear that Sirius was up to chatting.

“So, Hermione?” Remus inquired. “You said you were meeting with Dumbledore? Is it to do with your school transfer?”

Hermione looked up sharply. She had been completely immersed in adamantly not looking at Sirius and had only caught the last bit of Remus’ question.

“Transfer?” She asked with confusion.

Remus looked at her strangely and nodded.

“Yes, your move to Hogwarts? Dumbledore is helping you sort everything out, I assume?”

“Oh! Right. Transfer. Yes.” Hermione spouted off words incoherently. “I mean… yes, he’s helping me with the transfer, catching up on some different curriculum, and those sorts of things.” She lied, trying to cover her blunder.

“You certainly don’t seem to need any help with curriculum,” Remus said genially. “Your exam scores speak for themselves, I think.”

“Thank you, Remus. But, I suppose, there is always room for improvement.”

Hermione smiled warmly at the young man, he truly was the most polite individual she had ever met and, she remembered fondly, he would remain the very same as an adult, as well.

“He’s right,” Sirius added succinctly.

Hermione refused to meet Sirius’ eyes but looked at the table instead as she answered him.

“Thank you, Sirius,” She responded quietly. “Um… I should actually be going to meet the Headmaster now. Er… Bye Remus. Bye… Sirius.”

Hermione got up and began to walk towards the door, baffled that she could never seem to articulate herself properly in Sirius’ presence. She was halfway to the exit when she realized she’d forgotten her book bag.

She turned around hurriedly and before she could take a single step, she ran headlong into a tall, firm structure. The momentum knocked her backwards off her feet and she began to fall when the structure’s strong arms enveloped themselves around her, drawing her close.

Struggling to right her feet beneath her, Hermione clung to the arms wrapped around her. This structure smelled familiar… and its arms radiated a familiar warmth.

‘Oh Merlin, please, no,’ Hermione pled silently as she slowly looked up.

Sure enough, to her horror and her body’s delight, Sirius Black stood gazing down at her. Though, absent from his visage was the classic smirk she had come to expect from him. In its place was an expression that Hermione could only describe as… affected. He seemed completely affected by their unexpected embrace.

“I was bringing your bag,” He explained feebly, aware that he sounded like a pathetic arse.

But Hermione was blissfully unaware of this opinion. In fact, she was quite blissfully unaware of anything or anyone around them at that point in time.

“Thank you,” She managed to respond breathlessly.

And once more, she was lost in his dark, penetrating eyes, as she remembered explicitly how they had looked under the night sky… reflecting the light of a thousand stars. Her body was secured flush against his as she felt the hypnotic rise and fall of his chest with each breath.

The sound of someone clearing their throat conspicuously brought both of them to their senses. Sirius let go of Hermione and she stumbled backwards putting a few feet of distance between them.

They looked up to see Remus and Nadine standing close by, Nadine looked highly amused while Remus eyed each of them with concern.

Sirius reached down and grabbed Hermione’s book bag that had fallen and lay forgotten in their collision. He handed it to her and walked away without a second glance.

Hermione watched him go, and then with a small polite smile to Remus and Nadine, she too took her leave.

Five minutes later, she finally stopped in a quiet corridor to catch her breath from her hurried pace. Leaning back against the cool, stone wall, Hermione slowly sank down to the floor and hugged her knees close to her chest.

Apparently, Sirius wasn't the only one affected by their brief encounter. If her racing heart beat and still flushed cheeks were any indication... the interaction had had an effect on parts of her body that she didn't dare mention. She tilted her head back and shut her eyes tightly. She couldn't understand why James never incited such a reaction within her when all Sirius had to do was glance at her across a room or brush past her in the hallway to make her go weak in the knees.

Her feelings for James were genuine... of that she was sure. His companionship was immensely comforting and during their walks by the lake, they had engaged in some of the most meaningful conversations Hermione had ever experienced. This thing with Sirius was just a physical thing... inconsequential attraction. Nothing more. Probably just remnants of her juvenile crush on him years back... and seeing him here, now, in his prime had probably awoken some of those dormant feelings.

And on went the debate, triggering a familiar yet unwelcome dull ache in her head; the same headache she would get when faced with a problem that could not be solved logically. If the answer could not be found in a book, then it was likely that Hermione wouldn't be able to find the solution. Try as she might to find reason, these Marauders might just be her undoing.

Pushing all of these thoughts to the back of her mind, which was nearly full to capacity, Hermione dragged herself to her feet. Dumbledore was waiting for her.

She hurried once more along the well traveled path to the Headmaster's office. And before long, she found herself seated in front of the large wooden desk being studied by those seemingly all-knowing, crystal blue eyes.

They remained seated in silence for some time before Dumbledore began to speak.

"In our last meeting, Miss Granger, you shared with me that the last thing you remember before being transported into the past was reading an ancient book of a dark nature. Correct?"

"Yes, Sir," Hermione nodded.

"This book was found in the personal library of a friend?"

"Yes, Professor," She nodded again. "In Siri- I mean, in the home of my friend's Godfather."

Dumbledore looked down his nose at her from across his desk.

"Have you any idea where this book might be located today, in this time?"

Hermione thought for a moment.

"I would assume that it could still be found in the same location, Professor," She answered, hoping that he was not going to request what she believed he was about to ask.

As though he could hear her very thoughts, he continued.

"I am sure you realize, Miss Granger, that the retrieval of this artifact may provide clues that, otherwise, we may not find."

She hesitated.

"Yes... Yes, I understand, Sir," She said slowly.

"Thus, I must ask if you believe it possible to do so."

Dumbledore leaned forward, impressing upon her the magnitude of his request.

"Get the book?" She inquired quietly, speaking partially to herself wishing he had asked her to do anything but the seemingly impossible.

"Indeed," He answered simply.

Hermione swallowed hard. She couldn't go to Grimmauld Place! Grasping for straws, she tried the only excuse she could think of.

"Excuse me, Sir. But... if I am not to reveal my identity, that is... that I am from the future... then, how am I to gain access to the book?"

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled in a manner that plainly said he was already two steps ahead of her.

"Perhaps, if you thought on the predicament a bit longer you may find a suitable reason to ask Mister Black to grant permission for you to use his family's library."

If Hermione hadn't already been sitting down, she may have fallen and if it were physically possible for her jaw to hit the floor, it would have. She gaped in amazement at the white haired man seated across from her... flabbergasted.

"How... How did you..." Hermione shook her head slowly as she spoke, her eyes wide in astonishment.

The Headmaster leaned back in his chair and folded his hands upon the desk.

"While your information has been most useful, Miss Granger, I believe that I was able to reach a number of conclusions on my own. However, I must ask that you allow an old man his secrets in that regard."

Hermione began to apologize for her inappropriate questioning but stopped when she saw his amused expression.

"Yes, Sir," She accepted finally. The man knew everything... sooner or later she would fully appreciate that fact.

"Do consider it," He instructed her.

She nodded mutely. Dumbledore had helped her so much by attempting to resolve her situation that she knew already that she must do all in her power to accomplish the given task, as daunting and impractical as it may seem.

The formerly dull ache in her head roared to life with the addition of another dilemma. An undertaking of such impossible proportions as this made her wish she could simply stay in the past forever. In truth, the thought had crossed her mind on a number of occasions... usually occurring when faced with the reality that she would eventually have to leave her new life here behind. And for the first time, Hermione found herself sincerely considering the notion.

"Professor, may I ask you a question?"

The Headmaster nodded, eyeing her from behind his half-moon spectacles.

"What if, in the end, you aren't able to return me to my own time?" Hermione tried and failed to conceal the hopeful undertones in her voice.

Dumbledore's face softened.

"Have you a favorite tapestry among the many here at Hogwarts, Miss Granger?" He asked as though this was the most pertinent question he had asked all evening.

Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes, knowing that the Headmaster had his own way of reaching a solution so she thought seriously, contemplating an answer.

"I think the tapestry of Barnabus the Barmy is my favorite, Sir," She finally decided.

He smiled. "Ah, yes. I rather enjoy that one myself. Very intricate work goes into creating a tapestry. Would you not agree?"

"Yes, Sir," Hermione repeated for the umpteenth time.

Dumbledore nodded, apparently pleased that she was following him thus far.

"The threads in a tapestry weave together, over and under, criss-crossing, each one just as crucial as the next. I implore you to think of "time" as a tapestry. And the threads as the years of our lives; our past, present and future. Snag one thread and the entire tapestry is disrupted."

Hermione sighed deeply.

"I'm the snag," She said with poignant comprehension.

Leaning towards her, the elder man shook his head slowly.

"No, Hermione. Love. Love is the snag. It is far more powerful than you realize."

Hermione’s first thought was the magical protection bestowed upon Harry by his mother but as that event had not yet occurred in this time, she thought grimly, she ought not to mention it. But she realized that Dumbledore was right. Love was tremendously powerful. A thought occurred to her.

"Can love be… dangerous?" She asked cautiously.

Dumbledore was silent for another moment, observing Fawkes preening his crimson tail feathers. When he looked back at the young girl, she perceived a hint of regret upon his visage.

"Not dangerous, no. But while it has the power to heal, it also has the power to corrupt and it has the power to persuade. Now, I do not know how or why you have been transported here but I do know that you are the thread that holds all the others in place. Much is depending on you right now. You know to do the right thing."

He had known precisely what she had been pondering... she couldn't stay here. She had to do the right thing. Everything depended on her... everything depended on her...

All the Headmaster had said became lumped together with everything that already weighed so heavily upon her and she began to feel dizzy. She had to get out.

She stood up quickly, a bad decision as it made her feel even more lightheaded. Blindly grabbing her bag, she apologized to the Headmaster before running out of his office and down the spiral staircase.

Hermione sprinted through the maze of corridors as silent tears began streaming down her face. Students stared as she passed in a blur and a few shouted her name but she never slowed down. She couldn't have stopped running now if she wanted to.

At last, she emerged onto the grounds through the front doors of the school, the cool air chilling her tear-stained cheeks and burning in her throat as her legs carried her far away from the castle that held too many memories and too much responsibility.

When she could run no more, Hermione collapsed onto her hands and knees on the far bank of the Great Lake and screamed... a desperate, guttural cry to the heavens yearning to alleviate some of her burden, some of her pain... and finally giving way to the body-wracking sobs, she wept.

It was all too much.

Dumbledore's confirmation that much was depending on her was not surprising... but the reality of the duty she had to the future and the sacrifices she must make in this time... it was too much. She would have to leave this all behind... leave behind the chance for happiness so her best friend could grow up without a family... so, the wizarding world could be plagued by the most evil wizard ever to have lived... and so she could be alone once more.

Her life was here... here she had love… she had James… and… Sirius... and if she did manage to change the future then perhaps there was a chance it would be for the better. There was no opportunity for her in her own time.

As Hermione further succumbed to the deep cathartic sobs, she distantly heard someone approaching but didn't care. And when she heard a soothing voice whispering to her and felt a hand pushing her hair gently off her sweaty brow just like her Mum had done whenever she was upset, she only cried harder.

After months of storing away her troubles this release was an exhausting and painful turn of anguish and soon, she was left drained and breathing roughly.

"Feel better?" Said a voice beside her.

Having forgotten that she wasn't alone, Hermione's head shot up. She gasped when she realized that the comforting hand and soothing voice belonged to none other than Lily Evans. She pushed herself up off the ground and rested on her knees, still watching Lily curiously.

"I… I'm sorry. I didn't know it was you," Hermione mumbled in an attempt to explain her behavior. She was mortified. Merlin knows how long she had been sobbing in front of Lily.

But rather than placing judgment upon her like Hermione might have expected, Lily smiled sympathetically though restrained.

"You didn't look like you should be alone," The redhead explained. "Do you feel better?"

Hermione breathed deeply and nodded.

"Actually, I think I do. Er… Thank you."

Lily nodded in return and the two girls sat in awkward silence avoiding meeting the other's gaze.

After a long stillness, Lily addressed her.

"Hermione?"

"Yes?" She answered, busying herself by brushing the acquired dirt from her robes.

Lily cleared her throat uncomfortably.

"Um… I know you probably think I hate you…," She spoke slowly, looking down at her fidgeting hands. "But, I want you to know that I don't. I don't hate you."

Hermione looked intently at the Head Girl through her red rimmed eyes, puffy from crying.

"I don't understand," She asked, too distraught to analyze the conversation in her head.

Lily furrowed her brow thoughtfully.

"I just felt you should know," She said shortly. After a brief pause, she added, "No one should have to feel alone."

Hermione looked out over the water… words weren't coming to her and she didn't know what she was expected to say.

"I'm not sure what to say," She said honestly. "Um… Thank you, Lily."

The two girls now stared across the lake. Hermione was mentally exhausted from crying though tears still threatened to spill down her face at a moment's notice.

Lily knew what had to be done and she summoned every ounce of courage she had in order to do it. She had to let him go.

"He cares about you," Lily said resignedly, her own eyes misting over now.

These words should have provided comfort for Hermione but at the moment she felt so lost and alone that their true meaning was completely lost on her.

"It doesn't matter," She whispered into the crisp evening air.

Lily looked bewildered.

"How can you say that?" She asked.

"I don't belong here," Hermione whispered, the desperation in her voice echoed in her brown eyes. "I'm not meant to be here..."

Lily sighed. As much as she hated the fact that James had seemingly chosen Hermione over herself, watching the desolate girl fall apart before her, vengeance was the last thing on her mind.

"Of course you are. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been for you to transfer here, away from your family and friends... but... I do know for certain that he would be enormously upset if you were to leave."

Hermione turned her glistening eyes to Lily.

"Sirius wouldn't care if I wasn't here... he has Callie..." Hermione answered sadly, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Sirius?" Lily repeated, total confusion written upon her face. "I was talking about James...”

Hermione realized what she had said and gasped, covering her mouth with her hand.

Lily stared back at her wide eyed, realization dawning across her face when she read the guilt projecting from Hermione’s expression.

They both just stared at one another… neither having any idea what to say.

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Leave me a review telling me your favorite thing about Sirius Black.

Mine would have to be that devilish smirk of his...