The man behind the mask

Remus stood by the window looking into the garden below, it was an odd thing. This place of evil had a garden. And in it flowers were blooming as if unaware that the owner of this house was considered the most vial of creatures. That all around their flawless beauty was depravity and deception. And in the garden was a man Remus had come to see as evil, or at the very least a traitor. Snape did not look like a traitor or a man born to evil, there in the garden below tying the blind fold around the squiggly if irritable puppy he looked like a man enjoying a day in the park.



Sirius for all his growling and snipping did not appear to be suffering from the trick Snape had played on him. If Remus knew Sirius which he did, Sirius was enjoying being with his captor. The man who now owned him. Master. That word disgusted Remus especially since he now knew how much of a fool he had always been. He had followed blindly, he who had thought himself so free had now discovered he was as enslaved as the people he fought against. Just as blind, Just as willing to follow a leader without question.



Sirius who rankled if forced to remain in one place too long, who despised slavery and cruelty and Severus for that matter was nipping at his heels and playing playing with him in the garden. It was almost funny his world had turned so upside down. What was he to make of any of it. Only an hour before Lucius had come sw



eeping in the room with his usual arrogance and sadistic behavior. Instead of feeling disgust and anger at his enemy Remus had actually been glad to see him.



He knew now that James had been a false friend, his mentor and leader had been proven just as false. What all of that lead to was the fact that Remus had thought he was loved and cared for and he had been proven wrong. Lucius did not pretend to love him and in a way he appreciated that a lot more then he did the years of false friendship he had shared with James. With Lucius from day one he had told him exactly what he was, a pet and just what exactly he wanted from him. If the thought of being anyone’s pet enraged him at least Lucius was honest.



Those that fought on the side of light were deceptive and manipulative, while those on the side of evil were turning out to be if not the most upstanding group of people then at least honest in their limitations.



“I see you’re feeling better pet, you did have me a little startled there for a moment.” Lucius had said off handedly like Remus was a possession he had thought he’d lost only to find it in his pocket. Remus felt his ire rise and shot him a glare.



“And you wonder why I don’t respect you? I nearly die and all you can do is say it gave you a start?”



To this Lucius had cocked one pale eyebrow and Remus saw a spark of indignation in his eyes, he was so tall and elegant. A beautiful male if ever Remus had seen one, but underneath that outer beauty was a snake lying in the grass. A kind of poison that if he knew he even dared to taste would corrupt his own soul.



“For one so smart you do not always use the brains in your head. If I cared so little about your welfare pet I would hardly question my own master for you. Which he is not pleased about and has called me in to pay for. Yet you instigate that I care nothing for you?”



Remus looked up in surprise. Lucius had questioned the Dark lord? For him? Voldemort would punish his impertinence harshly, mayhap even cruelly. Who was he kidding, Lucius was about to walk into torture and he had brought it on himself, for what? “Why?” He asked the one question on his mind.



Lucius eyed him as if the entire thing was a boring talk about the weather instead of his own impending suffering. “Well at the time I thought it was he who had harmed you. You’re mine and I’m not a man to let anyone harm what is mine. I like you just the way you are pet.”



For a moment Remus had actually thought the man rather endearing. Pet, you seem to be everyone’s pet these days. Dumbledore leads you around on a string. Snape can lead Sirius around on a leash and he’s lost his mind and actually enjoys it. Voldemort is playing some game with all our minds and leading Harry around in circles. The master and the Puppets. Pets.

He was no mans damned pet! He was a free thinking being, a being of feeling. He had power of his own, power far beyond anything he had ever let anyone see or even dared to delve to deeply into himself. Harry was heir to Gryffindor and all his power, Harry had more power in his grasp then even Voldemort himself yet they allowed themselves to be lead around.



“Then why did you bother, other pets can be bought. You might have even gotten a pet more willing to give into your depravity.” he scoffed turning away from him in anger.



“You do not want to be here, you do not want me to desire you yet you want me to care for you? You don’t have any idea what it is you want Remus. I can’t stay to hash it out with you, I must meet with my master and because I like my skin where it is I mustn’t be late. I’ll be back in an hour, I suggest you absent yourself as I will be in no mood or condition to listen to scornful Gryffindor dribble.” And with that Lucius was gone.



You don’t have any idea what you want…



Did he?



What did he want? A little respect for one, love for another. He wanted someone to love him for him, for all of who he was. He wanted a partner he was on equal ground with. He wanted a home of his own and the world stable and at a place of peace. He wanted people as cold and cruel as Voldemort and as manipulative and just as cruel like Dumbledore wiped out from its face.



He wanted Lucius to look at him as something other then a possession. He was not adverse to sharing a bed with a male, he had done so before with Sirius many times. That had always been between to friends who knew that no matter what happened they would always be friends. Neither was in love with the other, they made each other laugh and brought each other mutual pleasure. Still it wasn’t the love that he sometimes stayed up late at night wishing for. The kind of love everyone secretly dreamed about and wanting. The kind of love which lacked could drive a person to be cold and uncaring themselves.



Remus thought of the man who held him in captivity, beautiful but cold and harsh. What had he been like as a boy? Had he yearned for a fathers love, or a mothers? Had he yearned for that ever elusive type of love and been turned away coldly. Remus may have lived a hard life but his own parents before there deaths had loved him. He remembered his parents and all that they had taught him about honor and love. It shaped his ideals and who he was. What would it be like to be a little boy surrounded by money and hauteur but lacking in love?



He would grow up cold, elegant and cynical. He would think Love was a weakness and would never admit to feeling it, he might not even recognizes it when he felt it. It might just drive him to place himself in danger for another, he‘d brush it off because love is an emotion foreign to his life.



Remus stared at the door which Lucius had left through, was it possible? No! he would be opening himself up to a world of pain and humiliation if he followed down that road. What he could do however was reassess all of his actions and do the reversal. He had been meek and willing to follow before, he had let Dumbledore convince him to wallow in pain and suppress his desire to enhance and use all of his magic. He had been unwilling to rub elbows with those painted with the brush of evil, before ever knowing them as people.



He would not be meek, he would not be week and he would not follow! He was going to indulge himself in learning about his magic, his capabilities and what that could help him accomplish. He might just even sample the desire swimming between he and his captor. He would become the man he had always wanted to be instead of the man people shaped him into.



Aggressive bold and on a mission, Remus just wanted a happy place to live with his friends, to find love and a sense of security. He just wanted to feel right for once. No more skulking in the shadows, no more letting people kick him because he was cursed with being a werewolf. He would become an instrument of what he deemed to be justice.



Like Voldemort. He thinks his way is a just way, he fights as a means to an end. How different are you?”



Not so different at all, just with different Ideals. Killing, well he had done that before and did not kid himself that he would never do so again. If it meant securing his place of happiness and the sense of right and wrong engrained in his being then he most certainly would kill.



Remus backed away from the window a slight smile playing on his lips. Remus Lupin was not a fool, when life slapped you in the face sometimes you had to slap back. His enemies had a wealth of knowledge at their disposal, he would soak that in. He would take all that they were willing to teach him and perhaps even that which they weren’t. Then he would make a choice for himself of just what he was going to do with his power.



And then he understood.



Voldemort must have stood at this exact point at some point during his life. The point where he decided to gather strength and power. He had decided to shape the world into his own view of what it should be, could Harry judge him evil for that? When in a way all men stood at this point. Sirius would have to when he finished his training with Snape and was returned to his natural form. Harry would stand at it sooner then he even expected.



Harry now knew his father to be a murderer and cruel, he didn’t even know the half of it. That he had most likely spelled his mother into loving him when she so kind and good would not have touched him otherwise. That in Remus’s mind was too close to Rape. Lilly had not been willing and James as always hadn’t cared he had taken what he wanted despite her wishes. Voldemort more then likely knew all of this and would tell Harry sooner or later. Harry knew Dumbledore to be a deceiver and a manipulator.



No doubt his own view on his life up until now was rocking. He was drawing ever closer to the edge Remus was now standing on. He had the power to end Voldemorts life, Voldemort had handed it to him. Because he knew in the end that Harry would find himself standing on the edge of this very cliff and fall over. How could he not, he had been betrayed abandoned and kicked to the ground.



What could any man do but gather his strength and kick back.



If Remus had his way their was going to be a lot of kicking, at both sides. He Sirius and Harry would have to be a side unto themselves.

~~~~****~~~***~~~~***~~~



Harry was expecting Voldemort even before he heard the footsteps behind him, he had said an hour and an hour it had been. Harry had gone in search of Sirius and fond him in the garden. Snape was teaching him how to be capable without magic or sight. He had blindfolded him and placed an object in the middle of the wild and extensive garden. It was up to Sirius to find it without being able to see or use magic.



Harry had watched Sirius trip and bump into wild ferns and even get caught in some wild Devils snare. He had jumped up to help him but to his surprise Snape had reached Sirius before him and helped untangle him. He had soothed the indignant and rather grumpy Sirius with a pat and a sneering remark that had made Sirius snip at his fingers.



Harry Didn’t know exactly how he was supposed to feel about this, he had stared at Snape in wonder like he was some strange new creature new to the planet. Was this the cold hearted professor who had tried his hardest to make Harry feel dirty and worthless for so many years of his life? The man of his memory and the man standing before him clashed in a way that was too confusing for Harry to fully comprehend. Even less comprehensive was Sirius Behavior towards the man.



For two men who nearly came to blows just from being in the same room together Sirius was treating Snape like a…friend? Mentor? No as Harry continued to watch the two men together, Sirius wasn’t a pupil or any friend of Snapes. He was a Pet. Harry felt his back stiffen the light hearted indulgence of before wiped away in sudden anger. Snape had turned Sirius into his personal pet! He had made it impossible for Sirius to refuse, Sirius was trapped in the mind and body of a being wholly dependant on the man, no wonder he greeted him with anything other then disdain.



As he watched Snape talking to and petting Sirius and Sirius didn’t try to bite the mans hand, on the contrary he seemed to enjoy the mans touch Harry felt sick. He backed away from the scene. In his world Snape was cold cruel and slandered his father unfairly…



Except now you know he deserved every one of Snapes taunts!



In his world Snape was the traitor and his father had been….



What a hero? He tried to kill Remus! He tortured people! He was no better then Voldemort whom you’re trying to kill just to avenge him? Snape had every right to say those things about him, you defended a man you didn’t even know and he probably laughed at you. Or pitied you. Either one drove Harry’s back up, so that when he heard Voldemorts footsteps and sensed him approaching he was in no mood for pleasantries.



“Are you ready Harry?” Did he have to look like that, Harry had preferred it when his face had been pale and snake like and he wore darkness like a cloak. It had been easy then to label the man as evil. Hell looking the way he had he might as well have worn a sign proclaiming him dark lord.



Now, now he looked like a man. Tall and strong to be sure with a cool type of elegance that he was oddly drawn to. Some type of spell? If only it were that simple, if only he could look at the man standing before him and see Lord Voldemort. He didn’t, when he looked at him he remembered a boy from long ago. A boy he had trusted and oddly enough seen as a friend and confident. A boy who had turned out to be nothing more then an illusion, a memory. The one man he hated above all others.



Tom.



((Do not humanize him, he will not like it and it will only bring you grief. You see him as a monster and well you should, he does try hard to act the monster doesn’t he. He kills and cares little for anyone other then himself. ))Eros whispered inside of him.



“But why would anyone want to be a monster if they are not! That doesn’t make any sense!”



((You have been told all your life that you are destined to destroy him. You had no proof other then Dumbledore’s word. You have been told you had a loving wonderful father and that you are a person of light and goodness. Naturally you are becoming a man of these things. You believe them so you are them. Perhaps we should ask ourselves what he was told? What does he believe of himself, and more importantly is it as false as what you have been told))



“My having honor and wanting to be a good person wasn’t false!”



(( Is it, what is honor? Is it ever honorable to kill, yet you both do so. Is it honorable to take the soul of another into your own body. You have done so and the drive to kill and to do so again is now stained on you. You may resist it but it is still there. The blood of a man without honor flows in your veins wherefore do you call yourself a man of honor?))



“I’m nothing like him!”



((A few days ago that was your greatest wish.))



“Sometimes I wonder who’s side you’re on! You warn me not to trust him and fall into his traps then push me towards him! What do you want from me.”



((Harry I am you! I only voice the struggle within you already! You are both drawn and repulsed by him. I only present both sides of our feelings.))



“Well please don’t you’re giving me a bloody headache!”



Harry was drawn out of the battle going on inside of his own being by the sound of Voldemorts amusement. It really rankled him having him reading his thoughts and feelings like an open book. He had no right too and it was an invasion he didn’t enjoy!



“You have every right to be confused Harry. Eros is right your faith in everything you thought you knew has been shaken it is no surprise you battle with yourself.”



The man did not know him! Harry gritted his teeth and turned away from the yard and bit out angrily, “Well lets see what you have to show me. The sooner you’ve taught me everything the sooner all of this can be over.”



There was a hard edge to him Harry suddenly noticed. His body was tense as if he was about to do something he very much did not want to do. He looked almost tired standing there. Harry blinked at him in shock.



(( He’s in pain, he has done something that caused him pain))



“Lucius?”



((Use your senses he smells of blood and spell magic. Fear perfumes the cloak he wears, yes that would be my guess.))



“But he tortures people all the time! He seems to get a lot of enjoyment from it! You can’t expect me to believe he actually regrets hurting Lucius!”



No sooner had he thought this then Voldemorts eyes turned hard and glacial with anger, he moved in a blur of motion to grab Harry’s wrist.



“Regret? What have I to regret! He defied me, questioned me! I am his master his very life can be snuffed out at my whim yet he dared to defy me. If I let all of my subjects act with such impertinence I would not be Lord of anything for very long! Friendship and love are weakness that do not belong in this world. They are tools used for gain by those with cunning and a lust for power. Or otherwise believed in by fools!”



His grip wasn’t really hurting him, but his touch was doing something hot to his skin and it frightened Harry. He hated that feeling, he hated this man. He knew his own eyes blazed with anger as instead of backing away from him as would probably be wise he stepped closer.



“You know what I think! I think you really do like Lucius! I think you want him to be your friend but you’re too proud and twisted to do anything about it! I think you just hurt and maimed a man who considers you a friend and that makes you no better then Dumbledore or my Father so don’t play righteous games with me! Love isn‘t stupid or foolish, you‘re stupid and foolish!”



They were standing so close now Harry could feel the anger radiating off of the taller man, or was it his heat. Heat was definitely reaching out to singe his skin and he couldn’t pull away. He didn’t want to, his own body was humming with rage and…something else. There was also the fact that he had just insulted a man much stronger then him who could by rights kill him right now.



Except he had taken a vow not to.



With the fury building in those eyes Harry almost thought vow or no vow Voldemort would murder him right where they stood. Snape and Sirius must have thought so too because Sirius was yowling and trying to reach Harry as if he could do something to help him. Snape was trying to keep a hold on him while looking at his master with worry.



“Master the boy doesn’t know what he speaks of. He speaks all that he has been taught, a fools words.” Snape tried to intervene.



Voldemorts furious green eyes clashed with his own coal black ones and Snape fell silent. Voldemort gazed down at Harry and said in a soft voice that was almost a purr of menace, “You speak from so many shining ideals Harry. You see the world from story books and fairy tale endings. I see it from experience, I know love to be a tool and a fools dream. Come why don’t you know it with me, let me show you how love can be used to hurt and corrupt.”



Before he could protest Harry felt a wave of dizziness enter his body and his world was spinning. He was blacking out and falling forward into Voldemorts arms and their was nothing he could do to stop the slide into darkness.

~~~~~***~~~~





He was not excited, he had learned long ago that excitement and hope were for fools. His years at the orphanage had taught him that. Tom was always learning new things, he was gaining in power over all of the other orphans. They knew now not to bother with him, he had discovered that with power he could be on top. The other children who would pick on him, call him names and talk behind his back would fawn on him now.



All he had to do was smile and act charming, all he had to do to get Susan to keep his secrets and do what he wanted of her was to transfigure a flower into a pretty necklace. Then those that had kicked him and treated him so vilely suddenly adored him. He had also learned it was necessary to keep them in line, power once held was an easy thing to loose. He had learned that lesson the hard way but learn from the experience he had.



Gregory had not been happy when Tom stole his girlfriend, he had told the Orphanage moderators about the necklace. Tom an Orphan with no money had no way of paying for such an expensive item, and no excuses that they would believe. He had been punished and Gregory had laughed. So he had taught Gregory just who held the power in the game that they played.



That bird Gregory was so proud of, he had not been so bold and condescending when Tom killed it. When Tom showed him just what he could do. Gregory had never given him a problem again, no one did as long as he held the reins of power in his control.



He was fifteen, powerful and adored by so many. The professors at Hogwarts thought he couldn’t do any wrong. Professor Dumbledore thought he was special and took extra time to train him, when he smiled he could have any woman he wanted.



Dumbledore, in a way he was the one man Tom feared and respected, Albus had allowed Tom in private to call him by his first name. The old wizard had the look of a beloved grandparent and those eyes of his were always twinkling in such a warm way. It disgruntled Tom because it went against everything he knew about himself, but when those eyes were looking down at him encouraging him to learn and get stronger he felt…warm.



It had been Dumbledore who revealed to him just why he was so different and taken him from his private prison at the orphanage. In the summers it was Dumbledore who allowed Tom to room with his brother so he would not have to go back there. Tom could handle them, he was not weak he could play them all like puppets, he still didn’t like it. He didn’t like being there, that place was the one place that made him feel…weak and helpless. He was not Weak! He was not Helpless. Albus always told him this, he believed it. He was more powerful then any student in his year and stronger then some of the seventh years even.



Still they whispered, about his mother, his past and his soul and despite all his power he felt helpless.



“Tom what are you thinking about?” A voice interrupted his thoughts. Albus was walking into the library he had allowed Tom to leave the Orphanage early this year and there was a few days of leisure before the other students arrived. Tom glanced down at the Prefect badge on his chest and felt pleasure. Albus had gifted it to him himself, told Tom he was proud of his accomplishments.



“I was thinking about my summer is all Professor.” Tom shrugged, he didn’t fool himself into believing that Dumbledore would approve of his killing Gregory’s bird, no matter what the reason. Albus was a firm believer in playing fair. Tom grinned a little, or at least appearing to. Albus got his way through more subtle means but he got it just as well as Tom ever did. He did it with smiles and kind words, Tom preferred the direct course.



“Dreadful place isn’t it Tom, if there was any other option you would not have to go back there. I wish I could give you more then a few weeks away during the summer but we must make due with what we have. You do know Tom that I admire your perseverance don’t you?” Albus asked putting one hand lightly on top of Toms head.



No body else dared to touch him without his permission, he would let no one else. Why did he let Albus? Because Albus did not fawn on him simply because he had power, Albus was not afraid of him and yet he still seemed to care, to be fond of him even…in some secret corner of himself Tom tried desperately to destroy…to love him. He did not mind the mans touch so much.



“I know it professor.” Tom smiled at him almost eager to share with him what he had discovered over the summer. “Professor Albus sir, I was doing some experiments over the summer comparing my blood with other wizards and muggles. What I found was beyond even what I expected, take a look at this professor.” Tom eagerly handed him a roll of faded and slightly well handled parchment. Dumbledore smiled at him fondly taking the rolls of notes and pages from books Tom had assembled.



As he read however the twinkling light faded from his eyes and a slight frown of thought pursed on his lips. He eyed Tom and walked a little away from him facing the window. “These are very interesting findings Tom. Information like this could…”



Unable to contain his excitement Tom interrupted, “Reorder the entire way our world works! Imagine a world Professor where we weren’t the ones hated and different. No more skulking in the shadows and hiding from Muggles!”



“You say that word with such contempt Tom, your own father was a muggle.” Albus reprimanded him softly,



Tom felt a blaze of anger enter his belly, “A conceited rich nobody who abandoned my mother and left her to die! She named me after him because he was cold and unwilling to love! That man is no more my father then the Headmaster is!” In some ways Albus was, they had many of the same interests and Albus cared about his well being. Albus took the time to teach him and did not fear him, Albus did not whisper and name him evil.



“Professor all I have known of Muggles is cruel whispers and harsh treatment. I do hold them in contempt, it is among wizards I have found any true happiness. I have found acceptance and contentment here. Yet wizards hide in the shadows, fearing the Witch burnings of old. Fearing muggles! And what’s worse, we are becoming them! We delude our blood until one day we will not exist!” Tom tried to explain the wealth of emotion bubbling up inside him in a way he had never spoken to anyone before. He meant it, he meant every word. He was happy among wizards, he was happy in this library with this man. Muggles represented the whispers and the coldness inside of him. He did not want the one thing he held in his secrete heart to fade away!



“And just what do we do about it, as long as Wizards join with muggles we will fade. As long as people fear muggles we will hide. It has worked for centuries why should we not continue this way?” Albus asked him speculatively. Tom suddenly had a feeling although he had asked with only mild interest, that Albus was very much interested in his answer.



“That’s why we need a leader, like Merlin. In the old ages Merlin lead the wizard people. Wizards did not hide from Muggles then. Muggles feared Wizards and even held them in respect as is proper. Any mortal without Wizard blood who dared to enter the realm of Avalon died. We did not mix our blood with those weaker then us. We were rulers, we need a leader un afraid to come out of the shadows.”



He got up from his chair his body thrumming with suppressed energy. It was all true, Tom was standing on the edge of his own personal cliff, glimpsing a futcher that he wanted. He wanted Albus to see it, to want it too.“ Just think about it Proffesor being able to fly down the street or perform magic wherever you wished without fearing some Muggle would see you and starting witch hunts. With a leader unafraid to deal with them as harshly as they deserve we would not need to fear them. They should be the ones in the shadows, this isn’t right!“ He demanded suddenly, he had the urge to stike out even though the people he blamed were not present.



“Do you realize we live in a state of fear without ever even questioning it? The ministry will wet its pants every time a muggle sees something they shouldn’t and scramble around to hide ourselves. Children can not perform their birth right outside of school for fear that some muggle will see! We live in a state of oppression, they kick us, hold us in contempt because they fear us. And we allow ourselves to fear them! For what? We are stronger then they, by rights we could eliminate all of them!”



Albus pushed away from the window and stared at him no trace of the warmth and twinkle Tom was used to. “I agree with you, fear is at the heart of our society the witch burnings of so long ago weakened and marked our people. In a perfect world Wizard and Muggle could coexist, but perfect this world is not. I know what you aim for, a society ruled buy the powerful by wizards. Tom you take so much pride in your own power you depend on it for your very survival! If you do what you are so obviously planning do you realize that as wizards become stronger the power you have will become ordinary? That one day they will surpass you and you will be the weaker one!”



Tom stared at him, he had not thought about that, say he did try and change things. Say he did create a world in which wizards ruled and strengthened the blood of his people. Then as the years went on they would become stronger and he would become weaker. Power was the only thing he had, power kept him from pain. Power was the only friend he had in this world, if he went after his dream he would loose his edge. Tom stared at Albus, he was a lot like him. Powerful where other wizards weren’t. Feared respected for his power. He loved it just as much as Tom did, needed it just as much.



“That’s what you’re afraid of Albus? You don’t want Wizards to come out of hiding, to get stronger for fear you will loose your own power?”



As soon as he said it Tom knew he had made a mistake, he could almost feel the warmth leak from the room and the man before him change. When he spoke it was quietly but that did not mask the lethally note in his voice as he said.



“No Tom, power is just an illusion. I do not want it, I enjoy muggles and your talk and contempt of them frightens me. You should not say such things, that is the mark of darkness and a seed of evil that we would not want…Would we.”



Toms Eyes widened in shock, Evil. Others whispered of his evilness, others…never Albus! Why did he do so now! It shouldn’t hurt! He knew better then to love or to trust! He knew better!



He had anyway.



“Professor I’m not afraid of loosing power, Power can be gained! I will discover the secretes to holding my power! I do not fear those weaker then me and I don’t fear others becoming stronger!”



Albus stared at him. Did he? Did Albus fear his pupil becoming too strong?



“You mean to be this leader Tom? You mean to be the one to lead us all out of darkness, to shun those you see as weaker then yourself? You want to rule all wizards? For their own good you say?” Albus said in that same soft lethal voice.



“You could.” Tom offered. Albus had the power to do it.



“But you already know I will not! Things are better as they are, we are happy are we not. Can we not be content with that? It is not right what you plan.” Albus tried to reason with him.



Tom stared at him, the man was afraid. Things were better for him right now because he was the strongest! Because he held the reins. If Tom did as he planned Albus would loose all of that. Tom might even loose. He grit his teeth. He had made his choice! He was not a fool he would become stronger and stronger, the very strongest! No one would be more powerful then he, and if someone came along who was…



He did not fear.



He would not hide in the shadows, and he would not dance to the tune of muggles! Albus seemed to be able to read exactly what Tom was thinking.



“Tom you have so much potential, it would be a shame to squander all of that with twisted ideals. With hopes shadowed in darkness and greed. Why don’t you go up to your rooms now and get ready to go home.”



Tom felt a slight breech between he and his mentor and wanted to mend it, in time he would ease Albus’s fear. After all he knew what it was like to have only power to make you happy. He blamed that on Muggles. In the world he envisioned any wizard child born would be born in a pure powerful wizard family. They would have families like those he saw in his class mates. He was an instrument of cold hard justice! Muggles had hunted their kind down cruelly burning innocents. Instead of removing the threat as they should have, instead of seeking justice and freeing themselves Wizards had faded away like whipped dogs!



What could possibly be right about that. Albus would see it in time, he had faith in that one thing above all things. As he turned to leave Albus spoke.



“Oh and Tom I regret to inform you I will not be able to house you during the summer anymore, The Headmaster has suggested it shows a favoritism and could cause undo problems. I am afraid you must return to the Orphanage from now on.”



Evil. Spawn of Satan. Devil.



So many whispers, the beat at him. He was them!



They were all he knew!



He hated that place! Summers with Albus were…a joy.



Fool! He knew better! Hadn’t he learned not to hope! Hadn’t he learned not to trust!



Hadn’t he learned not to love. He knew the headmaster had said no such thing. Something had altered between he and Albus. Albus now saw him as a threat, this was a reminder that he still held power of Tom.



He knew the games of power, it was all that made up his life. It should not hurt.



He smiled as understandingly at the old man as he could. “I thought that might happen sooner or later I don’t blame you Professor. Is there anyway I could stay with a friend this Summer. You could arrange it couldn’t you?” How far would Albus take this, Albus wouldn’t really deny him happiness. Albus was different he was a wizard!



Albus smiled at him sadly, “I’m afraid not my boy. I have pulled far to many strings as it is. It will only be one summer, perhaps next summer once you are older and a little wiser the headmaster will see things differently.”



He understood that cloaked meaning, perhaps if he learned not to defy Albus then he would be given back his happiness.



You have been such an utter fool! You know the only way to get by in this world is to have no weaknesses. You let another player get a hold on you, he used your foolish sentimental feelings to have an edge! You actually thought the old fool loved you! You know better then that, if you’re going to do all that you have planned, become all that you plan you must never let such a thing happen.



He smiled at the professor, ever the display of easy charm and confidence. “Oh I understand Proffesor, Good day to you then, I have a lot of unpacking to do.”



As he walked away he knew he had just made a lethal enemy, there were two sides of the board now. He stood on one side and the man he had looked at like…No! You must burry that weakness or he will find a way to use it against you.



He knew his course, he knew his aim. Nothing and no one would get in his way. As he enterd his room and lay on his bed he thought to himself.



Lesson learned love is an illusion.



~~~~****~~~~~



Harry woke in his room at the manor, he didn’t know how much time had passed but the dream? Memory? Vision? Whatever it had been clung with him. He pushed himself up in bed and hugged himself tightly.



“he loved Eros. He loved Dumbledore.”



((The same way you did. For the same reasons. You were raised amongst muggles who held you in contempt for who you were. You too experienced their wrath and their malice, it was Albus who rescued you from that. Invited you both into a world were you felt happy and excepted it is only natural to love the man who gifted you with freedom and your first taste of love.))



“But loving is the last thing Voldemort would do!”



((The last thing Lord Voldemort would do. Tom Riddle on the other hand was just a boy, a boy with power and ideas but a boy nonetheless. A boy who could have grown up into a man of honor and great power, how does one do this when all he is told is that honor and good is one thing he will never have and never be.))



“Eros…he smiled. When he smiled at Dumbledore it was a genuine smile. Not that mask of charm he used on everyone else.”



((He smiled at you like that once.))



Harry knew that, that smile was so out of custom in the man he thought he knew Voldemort to be. That smile robbed him of all good sense and left him completely disarmed. How could a man who smiled like that be completely evil?



“And he immediately got angry afterwards. I get it Eros, he was once no different then me. But he made a choice he’s not that boy anymore and certainly not the man he could have been.”



((I loved that man Harry. I know the side of him you are beginning to see, I gave up everything for it. I let my love for him blind me to his faults, and to his needs. Until it was too late and the monster in him caught me unawares and shattered the table of the gods with the battle that followed. I thought Tom was the illusion, but perhaps it is the monster. See the man behind the mask he wears.”



“But which ones the mask! The boy who loves and dreams or the monster who kills and is ruthless! And I cant love either. The boy is gone and the monster I have sworn to kill!”



But Eros was silent, Harry shivered in his bed. He knew it was because even Eros a former god with so much knowledge didn’t know the answer.





A/N: Whew long one I know but I had a lot of ground to cover. Thank you gues for sticking with me. Dont really know when the next update is coming. Right now I'm working on LOTF, so that should be here hopefully within the week if not sooner. Hope you enjoyed.