Paternity

Paternity, Chapter Twelve

Paternity
by Scribe

Part Twelve
Reporting

Ron glared at Pomfrey, consternation clear in his expression. \"I don\'t want to give up my summer job!\"

Pomfrey folded her hands primly against her apron. \"That\'s too bad, Ron, but you must. Some exercise is not only advisable--it\'s mandatory, but you\'re not to be doing heavy labor. It\'s non-negotiable.\"

Ron had been given permission to leave the infirmary that next morning, and he\'d just been lacing up his shoes when Pomfrey dropped the bombshell. He was sitting beside Harry on his bed, staring at the plump nurse in dismay. \"I should think it wouldn\'t be a hardship to give up what has to be hard, tiring, boring, dirty work,\" she said. \"I know the sort of tasks Filch would set for you.\"

\"Yeah, they are, but...\" he sighed heavily. \"Drat it! It\'s the first time I\'ve ever been able to earn real money.\" His voice was sad. \"I liked having a bit of a jingle in my pockets.\"

\"I\'m sure they can find some sort of work for you about the school,\" said Pomfrey kindly. \"Goodness knows there\'s enough dust-catchers that need to be cleaned.\" She picked up the two trays that contained the scant remains of the boys\' breakfasts. \"You\'re free to go when you like, Ron. Just remember not to over-do.\"

As she walked away, Ron wrinkled his nose. \"Dusting. House elf work.\"

Harry poked him. \"Good job Hermione isn\'t here to catch you at that. She\'d have burned your ears.\"

Ron fell backwards, laying across the bed with his legs dangling over the side. \"Oh, come on, Harry. Y\'know I don\'t mean it. I quite appreciate the little devils, since I have to do without them at home.\" His voice was wistful. \"I\'d like to make enough to buy a contract for one for my Mum some day.\"

Harry laid down on his stomach beside Ron. \"Is that how it\'s done? I thought they were inherited.\"
Ron shrugged. \"They are, sort of. Bonds are passed down, any way. But they have kids, yeah? Not many, but they do. And when the kids grow up, sometimes they contract out to work for other families, since the original one doesn\'t need all of \'em.\" Ron frowned. \"That can get kind of nasty, I think. Imagine what it would be like if the family sold off the services of a house elf away from his family when he really didn\'t want to go?\" He thought for a moment. \"Maybe Hermione had a point about this.\"

\"Her heart\'s in the right place,\" Harry agreed. \"It\'s just that she can be a bit too forceful in her methods. Needs to learn subtlety, that girl.\"

\"Nah. Why would we want her more Slytherin than she has to be?\" Ron rolled over quickly, coming to rest on top of Harry.

\"Oof! Damn, Ron, should you have gained this much weight this early on?\" said Harry jokingly. Ron suddenly rolled off him again, but this time he kept rolling till his face was pressed into the mattress, fists clenching at the sheets. \"Ron?\" Harry touched his friend\'s back, and was shocked to feel how tense he was. He was even more shocked when Ron jerked, trying to throw off his touch. \"What\'s wrong?\"

Ron\'s voice was muffled. \"I know I\'m getting fat. You needn\'t remind me.\"

Harry blinked. He\'d made the same sort of joshing comment to Ron hundreds of times before, and he\'d never reacted like this. *Oo, but he\'s never been preggers before, either. I remember Uncle Vernon saying that Aunt Petunia was a right Tarter when she was carrying Dudley. He said it was the hormones playing up. Sweet as pie, smother you with kindness one minute, weeping over nothing or tearing your head off the next.* \"Ron, I didn\'t mean it. I was just larking about. Honestly,\" he touched Ron again. The tension was still there, but the other boy didn\'t try to throw his touch off. \"It was a stupid joke, and I\'m sorry, all right?\" He shook Ron gently. \"All right?\"

Ron sighed, turning his head to gaze at Harry. \"Gosh, I sounded just like Pansy Parkinson.\" He made his voice treble. \"Does this robe make my bum look fat?\" His voice dropped to its natural register, but sounded falsely earnest. \"Why, no, Pansy! You\'d have to wear a pillow for your bum to look fat. By the by, do you have a bum?\" Harry laughed in relief. \"Seriously, Harry--exactly how girlie is this going to make me? Am I going to start worrying about matching accessories, and taking an hour to get my hair just so?\"

\"Unfair. Hermione isn\'t like that.\"

\"Harry--it\'s Hermione.\" He frowned. \"Do you reckon she\'s gay?\"

\"Two words--Victor Krum.\"

Ron gestured dismissively as he turned on his back again. \"Yeah, but look how long that\'s been going on, and \'Miney can still handle the unicorn horn in potions without gloves. Maybe she\'s bi.\"

Harry was watching him in amusement. He\'d known Ron was fairly easygoing, but he\'d had no idea of his laissez faire attitude toward sex till they\'d started sleeping together. \"Afraid she\'ll seduce Ginny?\"

Ron snorted. \"Why? She\'s a friend, and she\'s got a sense of responsibility that won\'t quit. Ginny could do a lot worse, though \'Miney would make a snippety sister-in-law. I\'m just thinking it would be a bit unfair to Mum, having three of us turn out gay. She doesn\'t talk about it much, but she wants enough grandkids to burst walls.\"

\"Being gay doesn\'t appear to be that much of a hurdle in that department,\" said Harry wryly, gently touching Ron\'s belly.

Ron frowned, his hand following the path Harry\'s had taken. \"How did this happen?\" At Harry\'s arched eyebrow he said, \"I know that, you perv. I meant... how? I don\'t know much about this, but it\'s pretty clear that usually there\'d be some real effort involved in a wizard getting pregnant, and I seem to have just fallen into it.\"

\"I suppose Dumbledore might give us access to the Restricted Section, if we asked.\"

\"Bleh. Too much like studying, and we\'d probably have to wade through a ton of stuff that had no bearing, just to find the bits of facts we\'d be looking for. I\'d rather talk to someone who could answer questions.\"

\"I\'m sure Snape wouldn\'t mind.\"

\"Harry, Snape?\"

\"Ron, the other alternatives are Pomfrey and Dumbledore. Pom--d\'you really want to blush the poor old darling to death? And Dumbledore...\" Harry squirmed slightly.

Ron nodded reluctantly. \"Yeah. He\'s kind, but it would be sort of like making a really embarrassing confession to the vicar.\" He sighed. \"You\'re right. Besides, Snape seems to be the one who knows the most, and has the least problem with handing over the knowledge.\" He stood up. \"Right. Forward into the breech, dear friend, and all that rot.\"

They found Snape in his office, going over some papers and making notes. Ron said, \"Professor, haven\'t you done with the term\'s work? You don\'t strike me as the sort to let it slide.\"

\"I\'m not. I\'m making a record of some of Longbottom\'s more spectacular disasters. I\'m considering writing a paper to be titled \'What Not To Do in Potion Brewing\'.\"

\"You\'ll have fertile ground there,\" commented Harry.

\"Indeed. If I go back to his first year, I may very well have enough material for a book.\" He put his quill down and gestured toward a pair of chairs before his desk. \"I assume you\'re here for some purpose?\" Harry and Ron sat, then exchanged glances. \"Oh, come on. You two have been through what is possibly the most embarrassing moment of your lives, if not the most stressful. Surely whatever you\'re here for can\'t be any worse.\"

Ron nodded, then said. \"I know the basics of how this happens. You know, tab A goes into slot B, squirt, you\'re caught. But it obviously doesn\'t work every time, or I know for a fact I wouldn\'t be the first Hogwarts boy up this particular spout. It apparently doesn\'t work even as often as it does if you\'ve got a mixed pair. So my question is... Why the bloody hell me?\" Ron\'s voice had been rising gradually, and the last few words were belligerent. Harry reached over and squeezed his arm in warning and support. Ron took a deep breath. \"Sorry.\"

Snape\'s expression, oddly enough, was not irritated, or condemning. \"It isn\'t as if you don\'t have reason, Weasley, but you need to remember that flying off the handle does you no good, and can do you harm. You\'ll want to watch your blood pressure, in your condition. It\'s a perfectly reasonable question, and I think I can answer it.\"

Snape opehis his desk drawer and removed an envelope. He took a pair of tweezers from a small penholder, opened it envelope, and extracted a single leaf. Depositing it on his blotter, he said, \"Does this look familiar to you?\" Harry leaned forward, hand extended, and Snape said sharply, \"Don\'t touch it!\" Harry jerked his hand back, and Snape said, \"You saw how I handled it, Potter. I\'m going to excuse your lack of observation, since you\'re a bit distracted right now. Don\'t touch that unless you really want to risk getting in the same state your friend is.\" One eyebrow climbed. \"Of course, I have no idea of the...\" he paused, \"dynamics of your relationship, so that might not be an issue with you, but it\'s still better safe than sorry. One does not risk effects when it can be avoided.\"

Ron was a trifle paler. \"Yeah, I recognize it. What is it?\"

\"It\'s called fecundus. You both know what fecund means, don\'t you?\"

They nodded, and Ron suddenly sat back in his chair. \"Oh, bugger me!\"

Snape sighed. \"Perhaps another choice of terms?\"

\"How about sod it all?\"

\"Apprope ene enough. Then I can assume that you\'ve come in contact with this recently?\"

\"Yeah, I have.\"

Harry was examining the leaf, hands kept carefully away from it. \"That looks like what\'s in the restricted patch behind the greenhouse. Oh, Ron, you didn\'t!\"

\"Well, it wasn\'t really on purpose, Harry. I wanted to look for a textbook I thought I\'d left in the greenhouse on that first night, and I was worried that I\'d be seen coming back, so I took a cut. And... I tripped.\"

\"Restricted areas are restricted for a reason.\"

Ron gave Harry a sharp look. \"Oh, I know that you didn\'t just say that to me.\" Harry blushed, thinking of all the times he had, himself, trespassed--all in a good cause.

Snape had replaced the leaf. Now he handed the envelope to Harry. \"Potter, please take this to the classrood pud put it back in the supply closet. I want it on the top shelf, out of reach of casual rummages, so be careful to use a good, sturdy stool. The last thing we need is you breaking your fool neck.\"

Harry left, and Snape and Ron eyed each other for a second. Snape opened his drawer again and extracted another envelope. \"That should give us a few minutes. I got Potter out of the room because I have something else here, and I think perhaps you\'d rather he didn\'t know about it.\" Snape opened the envelope anding ing the tweezers, extracted a single bright red seed. Ron started visibly, the fast drain of color from his cheeks making his freckles stand out. \"Yes, I thought so. This is a subitus libido seed. I don\'t suppose I need to tell you what effect it has.\"

\"No,\" Ron whispered. He looked at Snape desperately. \"Don\'t tell Harry! He... It might make him doubt that I... You know. I dunno, maybe the seeds gave me a push, but it would have happened anyway.\"

\"I won\'t tell Pot Wea Weasley. That\'s left to your own discretion.\" Snape replaced the seed, then put the envelope in his drawer again. \"But this does lead me to another rather difficult situation. On the day I found this, and the leaf, I was using a detect magikal power traces spell.\" His voice became softer. \"Ron, Draco Malfoy\'s hands were practically bloody with the subitus trace, the the fecundus trace made both of you glow like a full moon.\"

There was silence in the office. Ron\'s expression had been anguished, but then it became blank. Then, slowly, his eyebrows lowered, and his jaw set. \"So?\" Snape ed aed at him. Ron repeated, \"So? Whatever happened with Draco has nothing to do with me.\"

\"Ron...\"

\"Nothing!\" Ron gritted his teeth. He put his hands on the desk and leaned forward, saying slowly, \"I---won\'t---have---it. This is between Harry and me, end of story.\"

Snape considered him. \"Responsibilities are involved. Bloodlines...\"

Ron barked with laughter. \"Oh, don\'t bring that up! You know bloody well that the Malfoys would shit stones if they thought they were involved with the Weasleys, and the Weasleys... Bloodlines? We could give a toss.\"

They heard footsteps in the hall, and Ron gave Severus a hard look. The potions master shrugged. \"He won\'t hear it from me. But Weasley... you should consider telling someone. That sort of thing is a heavy burden for anyone, let alone someone in your stressful situation. Consider it.\"


\"Right,\" said Ron, starting for the door to meet Harry. \"I\'ll consider it right after I consider breeding pigs with wings.\"