Jehane Desrosiers
folder
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
2,442
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Het - Male/Female
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
21
Views:
2,442
Reviews:
15
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 11 -- At Midnight
Chapter 11 – At Midnight
I swim up to consciousness to feel Severus moving about next to me. It is completely black in the room.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Not sleeping,” Lips close to my ear.
“Want company?” All in sleepy voices, wrapped around by the warm dark.
“Yes.”
I thread my arm around his neck, whispering, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t sleep well. I haven’t in a long time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“But – “ Resting his hand over my ribs.
“Yes?”
“It’s – comforting. When I’m here. I – never thought I’d like to share a bed. But I do.”
“You’ve never shared a bed?”
“No. I liked to leave.”
Poignant volumes. Keeping my promise, I will not ask.
“But I hadn’t in a long time. Had anyone.”
“I’m glad it’s me.” This is easy, then. Just to be happy in the moment. I stroke his face and think that you could just be here, not burdened by the past.
Then he surprises me. “There was a girl. She was the daughter of family friends. Tamara. I’d known her all my life, but then suddenly she wanted me.”
“And you?”
“Couldn’t.” Makes a gesture toward himself in the dark, something that means All This.
This is different from questioning, pursuing. There is something about his breathing and I realize that he is regulating it, calming himself. He is breathing this story into my waiting hands.
“But you loved her.”
He sighs, a painful rusty sound. “Yes. I had for a long time and she knew it. She tried and tried, and she waited. Then she couldn’t wait anymore.”
“Oh, Sweetheart.”
“The thing was, she really loved me.”
“Yes. What a waste.”
“I don’t even know where she is now.”
“In your heart.”
“You don’t mind?”
“You’re almost fifty years old. You have a history. It’s part of you.”
“I wish I was better at it, with you.”
“I don’t want for anything. I couldn’t ask for a better lover or friend.”
“Hm.”
Lying in each other’s arms, touching along the length of our bodies. My hand on his chest as his breathing deepens. I loosen my hold on awareness and we begin to wash into the sea of sleep. Only to do this, only to hold him in the night, only this only this only
I swim up to consciousness to feel Severus moving about next to me. It is completely black in the room.
“What is it?” I ask.
“Not sleeping,” Lips close to my ear.
“Want company?” All in sleepy voices, wrapped around by the warm dark.
“Yes.”
I thread my arm around his neck, whispering, “What’s wrong?”
“I don’t sleep well. I haven’t in a long time.”
“I’m sorry.”
“But – “ Resting his hand over my ribs.
“Yes?”
“It’s – comforting. When I’m here. I – never thought I’d like to share a bed. But I do.”
“You’ve never shared a bed?”
“No. I liked to leave.”
Poignant volumes. Keeping my promise, I will not ask.
“But I hadn’t in a long time. Had anyone.”
“I’m glad it’s me.” This is easy, then. Just to be happy in the moment. I stroke his face and think that you could just be here, not burdened by the past.
Then he surprises me. “There was a girl. She was the daughter of family friends. Tamara. I’d known her all my life, but then suddenly she wanted me.”
“And you?”
“Couldn’t.” Makes a gesture toward himself in the dark, something that means All This.
This is different from questioning, pursuing. There is something about his breathing and I realize that he is regulating it, calming himself. He is breathing this story into my waiting hands.
“But you loved her.”
He sighs, a painful rusty sound. “Yes. I had for a long time and she knew it. She tried and tried, and she waited. Then she couldn’t wait anymore.”
“Oh, Sweetheart.”
“The thing was, she really loved me.”
“Yes. What a waste.”
“I don’t even know where she is now.”
“In your heart.”
“You don’t mind?”
“You’re almost fifty years old. You have a history. It’s part of you.”
“I wish I was better at it, with you.”
“I don’t want for anything. I couldn’t ask for a better lover or friend.”
“Hm.”
Lying in each other’s arms, touching along the length of our bodies. My hand on his chest as his breathing deepens. I loosen my hold on awareness and we begin to wash into the sea of sleep. Only to do this, only to hold him in the night, only this only this only