Light on the Dark Side of Me

Title: Light on the Dark Side of Me
Author: cocoa-Snape
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Harry Potter belongs exclusively to JKR…she is a goddess. I am making no money from this.

Light on the Dark Side of Me
Chapter 12: Almost too good to be true


Harry had to force himself not to go and see Snape the very next day. Not only would it have been awkward to see Snape so soon, it would have been all too obvious as to why he returned given the fact that Harry always took Thursday’s off. Thinking carefully about the precarious state of affairs he was in with Snape, Harry decided that perhaps this situation required a well thought out approach.

When they entered Gryffindor common room, Ron and Hermione were both stunned to find that Harry had skipped dinner and was hard at work (on one of his rare nights off no less) on the major Potions assignment that was due on Monday, especially given the fact that he normally left such things to the final sleepy hour of Sunday night. But Harry decided that given the way things were going with Snape, it would rather bad form to turn in his usual substandard work. And he had a sneaking suspicion that Snape would insist he finish all his work before he would allow anything to happen between them again. Snape did, after all, take Harry’s schoolwork very seriously – especially when it came to his own assignments.

And when Friday night finally rolled around, Harry found himself in the comfort of Snape’s quarters once again, reading – or rather, pretending to read – as he watched Snape from the corner of his eye.

“Are you actually reading Potter?” Snape asked.

“Yes,” Harry lied.

“Really? Why is it then that you’ve been on the same page for the past 20 minutes?”

“Oh. I’m…I guess I’m kind of distracted.”

“Well I suggest you un-distract yourself then, or you may finish your work in the library,” Snape said firmly.

“Alright, sorry,” Harry sighed and forced himself to focus on his reading for the remainder of the evening. It was getting late by the time Snape had finished his work and sat down in his favorite oversized leather armchair near the fire, sipping tea and reading one of his Potions journals. Harry loved the look on Snape’s face when he read his journals. His face was completely serious with concentration, as if often was, but his eyes revealed how much enjoyment he derived from this activity. Harry had come to find out that the best way to tell what Snape was really thinking was to look at his eyes as he spoke – if you were ever fortunate enough to get a rare glimpse of Snape’s emotions, it was his eyes that always told the story.

On his way back from getting himself some pumpkin juice, Harry stopped in front of Snape’s armchair and boldly asked, “Can I just sit here with you for a bit before I go?”

Snape lifted his eyes from his book. And there it was! Snape’s face was saying ‘no,’ but his eyes were saying ‘yes.’ Snape was searching his mind for an answer and was clearly having a hard time deciding what to say. “Potter…I don’t think that—”

But Harry didn’t allow Snape to finish and sat down on the man’s lap facing him, straddling his hips, their faces mere inches away.

“I just want to sit with you please,” Harry almost whined.

“Just sit?” Snape inquired breathily, still taken aback by Harry’s forwardness.

“Just sit,” Harry replied.

After a few moments, Snape spoke again, “Don’t you have work to do?”

Harry reached behind him to the coffee table and grabbed the scroll containing his Potions paper. He handed it to Snape and said, “Are you referring to this?”

As he watched Snape open it and begin perusing the document, Harry couldn’t help but smile. He had never worked so hard on a Potions assignment in all his life, and he knew Snape would be impressed.

“Is it acceptable?” Harry asked slyly, moving his body forward, pressing his growing erection into Snape’s belly.

Snape put the scroll down and responded with a deadpan expression, but a bright smile in his eyes, “It has potential.”

Harry leaned down and placed his forehead on Snape’s shoulder and rested it there for while. Snape hadn’t moved a muscle, his hands were firmly planted on the arms of the leather chair. After a few minutes in this position, Harry realized that if he continued to wait for Snape to do something, they would be here all night. Not that that sounded like too bad an idea!

Harry turned his head to the side and placed his nose on the underside of Snape’s jaw, inhaling deeply. God Snape smelled good! He pressed his mouth to Snape’s and kissed him – the taste of ginger honey still lingering in his mouth – a little spicy and oh so sweet. As Harry tentatively explored Snape’s mouth with his tongue, he used his fingers to unbutton the top three buttons of Snape’s black waist-coat. He reluctantly pulled his mouth away to take in some much needed air. As his fingers began working to unbutton the collar of Snape’s stiffly pressed white shirt, Snape leaned back slightly, as if moving to stop him. The man’s hands still had not moved from the arms of the chair.

“Please…” Harry whispered and finished opening up the collar. Taking in that first vision of Snape’s neck – the first real bit of Snape’s disguised skin Harry had the privilege of viewing – he couldn’t help but wonder why on earth the man always kept himself so completely covered. Snape’s neck was pale, but beautiful. Harry pressed the tip of his nose into the base of Snape’s throat, and traced his lips upwards, inhaling Snape’s scent as he went. Snape’s skin was so soft, he wanted to nuzzle in that space forever. He began pressing delicate kisses along Snape’s jaw line, to the back of his ear and down again along the base of his neck and throat – delicate touches which morphed into playful nips and sucking kisses. And then Harry spotted a small, almost invisible freckle and kissed it twice before sucking quite firmly on that spot. Harry decided he wanted to know where every single one of Snape’s freckles was. He wanted to know this man’s body inside out. He didn’t know if he’d ever get the chance, but now, Snape’s neck was his and he was going to map out every inch of it.

As Harry continued his explorations, Snape was trying to hold onto coherent thought. He mused that this shouldn’t feel this good – but the sensations washing over him as Harry kissed and licked him were heavenly. He was working very hard to remain silent – not to reveal how much pleasure Harry was giving him in that moment, and as Harry pulled away he wondered if perhaps that had been a mistake. He could feel Harry’s erection pressing almost painfully against him now, and could sense the young man’s impatience.

Harry slid downwards slightly, adjusting himself so that his erection was now in line with Snape’s. Snape made no move to stop him, but his hands still remained firmly planted on the arms of the chair. Harry’s body tingled with pleasure at the incredible feeling of Snape’s erection against his – so hot, so hard – Harry couldn’t help but release a throaty whimper at the feeling. Snape had never let him touch him there before and Harry was thrilled by the knowledge that Severus Snape was aroused, and it was because of him.

Harry began to rock his body forward – gently at first – he couldn’t help but gasp at the knowledge that only a few layers of fabric separated the two men. He wanted desperately to get rid of their clothing – to be naked with Severus, to feel his skin on his – but he knew the man wouldn’t allow it. Just the thought of it was making Harry dizzy and the once slow movements had taken on a life of their own – Harry’s urgency had taken over and he found himself humping Snape with abandon.

Snape imagined himself losing control – moving his hands all over Harry, throwing his head back and bucking up into Harry’s thrusts, grinding his hips into Harry’s desperate movements, moaning from the sheer delight of their bodies touching this way. But he did not – he remained still, the knuckles of his hands turning white from his steady iron grip on the arms of the chair.

And moments later, Snape felt Harry desperately clutch the front of Snape’s robes, as his body stilled and quivered with release.

“Severus,” Harry screamed breathily.

As Harry’s body reveled in the sweet feeling of release, his frustrated mind was wondering what it would take to make this man come. He didn’t bother reaching down to help him along, knowing full well he would be stopped. Instead, he rested limply against Snape’s body.

The sound of Harry screaming his name as he came made Snape’s throat go dry and he felt his body grow unbearably hot. Totally spent, Harry’s forehead was now resting on his shoulder and as his heavy breathing died down Snape thought he might have fallen asleep. He murmured a cleaning spell for Harry and worked on steadying his own breathing.

Snape still had not moved. He just sat there, reliving that gorgeous moment over and over again in his mind – seeing the look on Harry’s face when he came, and the sound of his name on those lips – it was too much. And then he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the other night, when he had touched Harry and stroked him to orgasm – Harry touching his hair, Harry saying he loved the sound of his voice, the feel of Harry’s hot arousal in his hand, Harry flinging his head back against his chest as he came.

Snape was breathing quite heavily now and his pants were feeling unbearably tight. He shifted slightly as he reached for his wand again to mutter a loosening spell on his trousers and his nose brushed the side of Harry’s neck. Snape couldn’t help inhaling Harry’s scent – it was truly intoxicating, so clean and warm. He felt as though he was becoming dizzy – he needed Harry so badly – he wanted to touch him so desperately. Merlin give me the strength not to move. He looked over at his hands, still firmly planted on the arms of the chair. He wondered if perhaps he could just touch Harry’s back, but squashed the thought and forced himself to remain still. He knew that one touch was all it would take – one touch and he wouldn’t be able to stop – one touch and he would have to touch Harry everywhere.

And then came the soft, choked whisper, “Severus…please touch me, Severus.”

The way Harry had spoken his name, with such reverence, such longing, it made Snape hold his breath. The voice was so desperate, so needy – it was his undoing – it cut through his defenses like a hot knife and crumbled whatever resolve he had left. Realizing he was doomed – completely and utterly doomed – he let his body take over.

“Merlin yes,” Snape replied in a dark, almost harsh voice, as he stood up, lifting Harry up with him so rapidly and unexpectedly, Harry gasped sharply.

Harry had not expected this – he was certain his request would fall on deaf ears. He had spoken those words because even if Snape wouldn’t touch him, whatever his reasons, Harry needed the man to know that he wanted it – that it was more to him than just physical release, that he desired the intimacy that Snape found impossible to give him. Harry had not expected Snape to snatch him up off the ground with such fervor. And he thanked Merlin for the unexpected blessing.

Harry wrapped his legs around Snape’s waist, and Snape pulled Harry into him, crushing their chests together as he kissed Harry with a desperate intensity. Harry was whimpering – the feel of Snape holding him like this, Snape’s possessive, dominating kiss, the feel of the other man’s pulsing cock pressing urgently into his stomach – it was too much, and it was so good. Harry was already half hard again before Snape laid him down gently on the wool rug in front of the hearth.

Snape knelt beside Harry and began undoing the buttons of Harry’s shirt one by one. Slowly, but surely he removed Harry’s robe and shirt and proceeded to undo the zipper of Harry’s pants. He worked silently, but his eyes remained locked with Harry’s – waiting for any sign that he was going too far. It never came. And soon Snape was staring intently at the nearly naked Harry Potter, clad only in his boxers. The perfectly smooth skin, his well-toned muscular physique – Harry was an amazing site to take in and Snape was nearly at a loss for words – nearly.

“You’re so beautiful, Harry,” Snape said with almost solemn veneration in his voice.

Could this moment get any better? It did momentarily, as Snape began touching him – those strong, deft perfect hands stroking him all over. God he loved those hands – the way their warmth spread all over his body.

“Say that last part again,” Harry moaned breathily.

“What?”

“The last part…say it again.”

A smile grazed Snape’s lips, as he bent his head down and purred in Harry’s ear, “Harry.”

And then as he began attending to Harry’s chest, he spoke Harry’s name under his breath in between each delicate kiss. This was so good, so perfect – but Harry wanted more – he wanted to feel Snape’s skin against his, to touch this man who had given him and who was giving him such amazing pleasure. He reached his hands up and tugged at Snape’s robes. Snape obligingly took off his outer robes and quickly unbuttoned and removed his black waist-coat, leaving him in his already loosened white dress shirt and black trousers. Harry snaked his fingers up to the buttons of the shirt, but Snape caught his hands.

“Please let me take care of you, Harry,” Snape whispered as the man’s hypnotic eyes gazed at him intently.

And Harry let him. The sensations were dizzying. It seemed as if Snape was doing everything, everywhere, all at once to Harry – kissing, licking, biting, sucking. And it was perfection – the way Snape placed provocatively sweet kisses in a path from Harry’s toes to his forehead, the way Snape ran his tongue all along Harry’s chest, the way Snape gently nipped at the flesh on his neck and inner thighs, and the way Snape’s hot breath seemed to engulf Harry completely, caressing him all over his skin. Harry could do little more than writhe below Snape as he claimed every spot of his exposed body. And when Snape took his right nipple into his mouth and sucked, Harry cried out – surprised by his sensitivity there.

“You like that?” Snape asked in low, burning voice.

Harry’s heavy breathing answered in place of words, because Snape did it again, this time nibbling at Harry’s left nipple while pinching his right between his fingers. And he was rewarded with a needy whimper from Harry, who bucked his hips upwards instinctively against Snape’s thigh at the intensity of the sensation.

“Gods you’re amazing,” Snape purred. I want to take you right now! Merlin help me.

Harry couldn’t help smile at Snape’s words…he was thinking the same thing about the man.

Snape moved his fingers to Harry’s boxers and hesitated only a moment before pulling them off. Harry felt his face flame, a deep blush entering his cheeks and he cursed himself inwardly at the childishness of that reaction. Snape realized he was staring with his mouth open. Harry’s cock, nestled in that perfect thatch of black curls may not have been as big as his own, but it was a truly beautiful site to behold. Snape could hear Harry’s insecurities loudly in his thoughts, and locked eyes with Harry before speaking, demanding that he see the truth behind his words.

“You’re absolutely perfect, Harry.”

Snape then set to work kissing the inside of Harry’s thighs, hovering so close to that part which needed the most attention, but gingerly avoiding it. Instead he flipped Harry over and began his ministrations anew on his back, buttocks and legs.

Harry mused that Snape’s tongue seemed to be everywhere – and it was so intimate, so possessive, so perfect. This was what he had wanted all along – Snape, wild and demanding – wanting him, touching him, tasting him. This was beyond pleasure – it was divine. Harry was able to do little more than gasp and moan – but he wanted to speak, to tell Snape how perfect this was. But his voice was uncooperative, and part of him was glad, he knew how woefully inadequate his words would sound. And somehow, Snape seemed to understand, and whispered for Harry to relax and just enjoy.

By the time Snape had turned him over on his back, Harry was wild with need. He looked up at Snape, who met his gaze fully. The piercing look in Snape’s eyes almost burned him. Harry held his breath, hoping to extend this moment, memorize it, in case it never happened again – Severus Snape, hungry with desire, for him.

And then came Snape’s silky whisper, “I want to taste you Harry, if that’s alright.”

Harry’s throat went suddenly dry. He nodded mutely.

Any words he might have had left Harry altogether as Snape began placing gentle kisses on his needy flesh. And as Snape began licking the length of his shaft, so slowly and so thoroughly, Harry could scarcely believe that it was Snape’s normally cruel tongue that was doing these exquisitely cruel things to him now. Harry moaned as Snape took the head of his cock inside his mouth – surrounding him in blissfully wet heat. Harry’s body had tensed, overwhelmed with delirium – his eyes were firmly shut and his knuckles were white from his grip on Snape’s wool rug.

As Snape wrapped his lips around Harry’s hard, smooth length, he carefully flicked his tongue over the tip, tasting the pre-come that was there. He had been waiting for this moment, and he was not disappointed. Tasting Harry was pleasure in of itself, and he couldn’t help releasing a deep grunting hum of approval at what he found – it was bitter, it was sweet, it was so strong, so satisfying…so Harry.

“Gods you’re delicious!” Snape growled.

Snape continued to play with the head of Harry’s cock, patiently coaxing it for more of Harry’s pre-come, while using his fingers to stroke the sensitive spot behind his balls. When the hot liquid hit his tongue, he moaned enthusiastically and feverishly lapped it up.

Harry almost sobbed as Snape moved away, but was quickly silenced as Snape’s mouth began attending to his balls, licking and sucking on them as he stroked Harry’s cock firmly with his hand. After a few moments, Snape promptly returned his mouth to Harry’s shaft, taking it in deeper this time, sucking him with rabid intensity

“Oh God!!!” Harry yelped. Harry’s breathing was reduced to short panting inhalations as waves of pleasure ripped through his body. He emitted a guttural moan as he felt his cock caress the back of Snape’s throat and Snape obligingly sucked him harder, all the while swirling his tongue on the underside of the sensitive head.

Snape felt Harry run his fingers through his hair, holding onto him for dear life. The feel of Harry’s fingers in his hair coupled with the gasping whimpers that signaled the young man’s rapturous abandon, caused Snape to moan. He reached down and unzipped his trousers, releasing the pressure against his own unbearably hard erection.

Harry noticed that Snape seemed to like him touching his hair, and so he wound his fingers around it, pulling wildly at the silky strands, hoping to incite some more of those frenzied noises from the man. He wanted him to lose himself in this moment as Harry had already done. And when the sounds of approval came from Snape’s throat, Harry’s whimpers turned into howls and he found himself bucking up, almost involuntarily, trying to get deeper inside Snape’s mouth. It was beyond incredible and Harry found himself torn between wanted it to continue forever and desperately needing release.

Although his eyes were heavily lidded from the magnitude of the sensations gripping him, Harry had to look, had to see Snape possessing him this way. And at the sight of Snape’s head bobbing up and down between his legs, he thought for certain he was going to come. He needed to tell Snape but he couldn’t speak so he started pushing down at the top of man’s head. And then Snape looked up at him – his eyes were so beautifully dark, glinting with pure lust and pleasure. With a smile on his face, he suddenly took Harry completely into his mouth, burying his nose in the thatch of Harry’s black curls. The pressure and vibrations on Harry’s cock made him see stars and he was coming – no, exploding down Snape’s throat, in an earth-shattering orgasm.

Snape greedily swallowed every single drop – groaning with pleasure as he drank Harry down. He ignored himself as he concentrated on milking Harry completely, waiting until the violent pulses of Harry’s orgasm had subsided.

Snape raised himself up on his knees and took in this vision of Harry Potter – head thrown back, eyes firmly shut, body glistening with sweat, thoroughly debauched – and he wondered if there could possibly be a more beautiful sight. Reaching into his briefs, he stroked himself. It didn’t take long, as he took in the effects of what he had just done, splayed out in front of him, perfection incarnate. Throwing his head back he came forcefully, shuddering fiercely as he breathed Harry’s name.

After recovering from his reverie with a few deep breaths, Snape looked back at Harry find the young man had propped himself up on his elbow and was watching him with rapt attention. Snape moved to lie down next to him, and pulled Harry into his arms and held him with possessive tenderness.

Harry struggled with every ounce of his being to remain awake – if only for another minute. He wanted time to stop right now – he wanted to capture this moment, bottle it up – and live in it forever. Little did he know that Snape was thinking exactly the same thing.

“That was the best moment of my life,” Harry whispered against Snape’s chest.

“Is that so?” Snape remarked with amused tone, a definite smile in the corners of his mouth. “You did come rather hard.”

“No…not that.”

Snape’s eyebrows raised slightly.

“I mean that was amazing too…really, really amazing,” Harry said, while pressing gentle kisses on Snape’s chest. “But I meant watching you…watching you come.”

Silence. Snape pressed a kiss to Harry’s temple.

“It was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” Harry said.

As Harry surrendered himself to sleep, he mused that it could have only been better if he had elicited the orgasm with his hands, his mouth. He hoped he would have a chance at that sooner rather than later.

Snape remained awake as he felt Harry dozing off. He was determined to savor every single moment of having Harry in his arms. Severus Snape was not a foolish man – he knew very well that perfection like this could not, would not last long. Especially for a man like him.

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A little over an hour later when Harry awoke, he sat up slowly and looked at Snape with a smile.

“It’s time for bed,” Snape said.

“I was just sleeping,” Harry remarked.

“I am fully aware of that fact,” Snape said dryly. “I think you drooled on my shirt.”

“Sorry,” Harry said sheepishly. “Why are you still dressed anyhow? Is the rumor true – do you sleep fully dressed?” Harry teased.

“Hardly.”

“Take this thing off,” Harry said, while reaching for Snape shirt. He snapped off Snape’s right cufflink, watching the sleeve fall open. Then he reached for the cufflink on the other sleeve, but this time Snape grabbed Harry’s wrist firmly, a bit too firmly, stopping Harry. Snape forced himself to loosen his grip a bit.

Harry was confused. If he didn’t know better, Harry would have said that Snape looked pained, frightened even. But why would Snape be…Oh!

A long tense moment passed between the two men.

“You should go Harry,” Snape said.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“It’s alright, really,” Snape said reassuringly, cleverly hiding behind his impassive expression. “Its just that it’s late. And you don’t want anyone to miss you in Gryffindor tower.” Masterfully changing the subject, he added, “And you need your rest. I wouldn’t want you falling off your broom tomorrow.”

“Oh…right.” Harry leaned over and kissed Snape gently on the lips. “I’ll be by tomorrow after Quidditch, okay?”

Snape nodded and watched as Harry exited his quarters.

Tired as Harry was, he couldn’t shake his giddy excitement at what had finally happened between him and Snape. It was beyond amazing. Previously, Harry had been choreographing their encounters – but now, finally, Snape had made a move on him, of his own volition, motivated only by his desire. Snape wanted him, Harry mused, and it seemed almost too good to be true.


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A/N: PLEASE review.

Whew! This was a long chapter! Hope you enjoyed it! I admit that I was intimidated about making this chapter as ‘hot’ as you all seemed to think the last was. I hope I delivered.

To every single one of my reviewers - thank you so much for your incredibly positive comments. They really inspired me to get past my writer’s block on this and the next chapter - seriously! (To AD 1690 - wow, thanks for that amazing review! And Darkladyd - thanks for giving me a great laugh along with a great review).

Those who have been patiently waiting for SnapeAngst - it’s coming soon...I promise. Can’t you sense it? ;)

In Chapter 13, “If you really knew me…” Harry comes to see Snape the next day after practice...