I'm Beautiful, Damn It!

Lalalala....we don’t own Harry Potter.

Chapter 12

Hermione woke up to the sound of Draco snoring in her ear. She sat up and stretched. She decided to try and make it to the bathroom to get changed before he woke up.

“I know he’s seen my ass before, but I’d prefer he not look at it multiple times.” she thought.

She had a throbbing headache from last nights little venture.

“That slumber party rocked!” Hermione thought. “Next time, I’m sooo inviting Ginny. I wonder if she\'s just as funny drunk as Draco is...”

Her thought was interrupted by “Nice ass!” being called from the bed.

She turned around finding Draco staring at her wearing that infuriating smirk.

His expression quickly changed and he dashed for the bathroom, pushing her roughly out of the way. He hunched over the toilet and began to empty the contents of his stomach.

Between heaves he said “That slumber party rocked. Can we do it again tonight?”

“We’ll see how the day goes.” she responded, knowing full well that it would not be happening again.

“So, what exactly did we do last night? I seem to remember Pansy screeching, McGonagall in a night gown, and I have a strange affection for the common room coffee table leg.”

“Well, that pretty much sums it up, Draco. We did a little Kareoke, made out a bit...other than that, you’re not missing anything.”

“Really? I got some? From you? And I don’t remember it?” His face fell, before heaving into the toilet again.

“No, you didn’t get any of me.....well, you got a little bit, but not like what you’re thinking.” She gave him the evil eye.

“It was fun though, wasn’t it?” They smiled at each other for a moment, before a loud screeching and thumping on Hermione’s bedroom door interrupted them.

“Hmm...Who could that be?” Draco asked dryly.

“I don’t know Draco. I dropped Divination in Third Year.”

Without even thinking, Hermione walked to the door in her underpants.

She cracked the portrait open just far enough to peek out.

“May I help you Pansy?” “You pug faced bitch.” she added in her mind.

“Draco is not in his room. He wouldn’t happen to be in there with you by chance, would he?” Pansy eyed Hermione warningly.

It was too early to fight and Draco was really in no shape to be attacked.

“No, Pansy, he’s not here. Maybe he went down to breakfast.” Just the word “breakfast” brought more sounds of wretching from Draco.

Hermione tried to shut the portrait door, but Pansy stuck her foot in it.

“Ugh, I know you tricked him into being your love slave while he was drunk so please, just open the door and let me in. Don’t make me get ugly.” she responded.

“Too late!” Hermione thought.

She opened the door and made a sweeping motion toward the bathroom.

“Drakie!” Pansy shrieked. “What has she done to you??? Oh, hush now, Mama’s here. I’m going to take good care of you.” obviously ignoring his attempts to swat her away while barfing.

Pansy turned around. Her eyes grew wide, taking in the view of Hermione in her thong.

“SLUT!” Pansy cried triumphantly. “I knew it! I knew it! You could fool everyone else with that doe eyed, bambi-watching-his-mother-getting-shot-and-strapped-to-the-back-of-an-RV- look of yours but I’ve had your number all along!”

“Wow, you’ve seen Bambi?” Hermione asked as she ran to her trunk to find something to throw on, hoping Pansy was as easy to distract as Crabbe and Goyle.

“Why yes I have-” Pansy began. “OH! That’s not the point! You seduced him in his moment of weakness!”

“No, Pansy” Draco called from his position on the floor. “You’re annoying the shit out of me in my moment of weakness! Now go back to Slytherin House and let me hurl in peace and for the love of Merlin Pansy, stop bursting into our common room unannounced. I wouldn’t tolerate it from Potter or Weasley and I won’t tolerate it from you!”

Pansy looked crushed. Tears welled up in her eyes.

Hermione almost felt sorry for her.....

“If she wasn’t an insane psycho bitch.” Hermione thought.

“NOW!!” Draco screamed

“Yes, well, “ Pansy began. “I’m sorry to disturb you while you’re shacked up in your little love nest.” she hissed.

Pansy turned to walk away. She stopped by Hermione and whispered “This isn’t over you filthy mudblood whore.” Before exiting.


Hermione helped Draco up and back to the bed.

“Its a good thing its Saturday, you’re in no shape to go to classes.”

“Two years ago, Granger! Two years and that is what I still have to deal with on a daily basis. I mean, Merlin, shag a girl a few times and suddenly she thinks she’s your wife! Did you know she even made a mock marriage certificate and wore a ring for the longest time? She also named our nonexistent children! She’s insane! Insane, I tell you!”

“Yea, and she’s probably still fuming from the fact you called her a pug-faced bitch last night.”

Draco looked up and grinned. “Did I really do that? Wow and she didn’t rip me to shreds? 10 points to Slytherin.”

“So,” Hermione asked. “What are you going to do today?”

“I don’t know what are you going to do today?” Draco asked.

“Probably finish the paper work for Snape.”

“Ok, let’s do that.” Draco answered. He stood up and his head spun round and round.

“Tell you what, why don’t I run downstairs, get you some dry toast and water, and bring the paper work in here. We can work on it in here so you’ll be comfortable.”

Draco smiled slightly. Even when they were dating, Pansy never took his mood or feelings into consideration. This was a new event in the Draco Malfoy Timeline.

“That sounds wonderful.” he beamed at her. Draco made himself comfortable in her bed.

“Ouch!” she said.

“What\'s wrong?” he asked her.

“I have a bit of a headache, but I\'ll be fine. I stood up a little to quickly that\'s all.” She replied smiling. He had not take consider the fact that she to had been drinking and might not fell very well.

“You know, you don’t have to go.” he said

“It’s fine, Draco, really. I’m okay.” She said still smiling. Hermione turned and walked out.

“Is there anything special I can get you?” she asked poking her head back into the portrait.

“No.” He said.

“Okay.” She ran out of the common room. Draco was taken back a little,

“Pansy would never have done this for me.” he thought, “I like this.” It wasn’t long before Draco had drifted back to sleep.

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Little did Hermione know, Pansy was well hidden in common room.

“He’s intimidated by that little whore’s presence!” she thought. “She’s probably threatened him. Well, I know my Drakie and he would NEVER abandon me for a mudblood.”

She watched Hermione exit the common room before walking to her bedroom door and whispering “crotch pheasant.”

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Hermione walked into the Great Hall.

“Hello, Hermione!” Ginny said.

“Hey.” She heard Harry and Ron mutter in between bites. Hermione grabbed a plate and started to pile toast on to it.

“Hungry for toast are we?” Ginny asked. Hermione had piled about eight pieces of toast on the plate.

“Yeah.” she said. Hermione gather the food and got up to leave.

“Where are you going?” Harry asked.

“Well, I have a lot of work to do for Snape, so I thought I would take it back to the room with me.” she said.

“Okay.” Ron said. “Well, we’ll see you later then, right?”

“Yeah, I will come by the house later, when I get some of this work done.” She answered and turned to leave.

“Bye.” She heard them mutter as they went back to eating.


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Draco felt like he had slept for days, his dream was so vivid in his mind, it felt so real. He rolled over and opened his eyes. He could see the outline of her body under the blankets. Draco laid there and watched her in silence. His dream had been about her, about him and her. It was his whole future played out before him. His graduation, wedding, his kids. She was in it all. She was with him at graduation, She was his bride and the mother of his kids. Thinking about her made him happy. For the first time in a long time he was really happy.

He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her close to him.

“Hey, sleepyhead.” He whispered giving her a light kiss on the head.

Pansy turned over and grinned broadly.

“Draco! I knew you loved me!” she shrieked.

“PANSY!” Draco cried, spitting furiously at the thought that had just kissed her.

“Damn it woman!” he roared. “We’re not even living in the same house and you’re still finding ways to torture me!! Get out NOW!!”

“But, Draco!” She cried.

With all the strength he could muster, he lifted her by the arm and marched her toward the common room door.

“But....but...but Draco!” Pansy cried again.

He gave her a shove through the portrait hole. Pansy hit the floor hard.

“I’m sick of you Pansy!” He roared. His voice could be heard echoing down the halls. “You’re insane! INSANE! I mean, do you even listen to me?? I DON’T LIKE YOU! I was only with you because you put out!! Whore!”

Pansy gathered herself to her feet, trying to reclaim her dignity.

“But you do like that vile piece of trash you’re shacked up with?” she spat.

“Yea....” Draco started. “I believe I do.”

Pansy began to sob, “That’s it! You can kiss my ass good-bye! We’re over. O-V-E-R.” She ran down the hall towards her dormitory.

“We were over two years ago, two fucking years ago!! You fucking Bitch!!” he yelled after her. Random people in the hallway had stopped to gawk at him.

“What are you looking at?!?” he screamed.

They all began to rush towards their destination. No one really cared to mess with an angry Draco in his underwear at that moment.

A/N: I know this one is short as well, (well, its not really that short. Its 3 1/2 pages), but we’re going to make a solemn attempt to make chapter 13 longer and have funnier shit in it :o) There\'s something I need to add here.....but I can’t remember what it is. Sorry :o)

Sarah & Stef