Trading Places

TITLE: Trading Spaces 12

RATING: R (slash warning m/m)

PAIRING: HG/SS, HP/DM, HP/HG (friendship), RW/HG/HP (friendship)

A/N: We will be updating every two weeks, possibly with more than one installment,
depending on fate and life. Any constructive criticism is greatly appreciated.

SUMMARY: What do you call a cross between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin? A prefect!
Don't worry, it's not "what would happen if he had been sorted into . . ." Dumbledore
works in mysterious ways as Voldemort grows in power and daring. Other than that?
Shippyness, Snogging, Shagging, Snippy and Snarky! Trust me, it'll all make sense in a
little while.


A/N 2: It was called to our attention, that we named the wrong town in a joke in chapter
7, making it appear that we were joking about a school shooting - this was not the case.
We were talking about a different incident that occurred in Africa, with a bunch of
misguided Americans. Please know, we, as authors, were horrified that someone
assumed that we would make jokes about school shootings, but we also know what
happens when people assume things. We would also like to issue a gentle reminder,
considering the JONESTOWN joke is still a little inappropriate, that the snakes are
irreverent, and a little evil. You should not take them seriously, or assume that their
views are necessarily our views. For instance, I don't drink tea with lemon or put
pepper on my eggs. Keep your sense of humor, people. This is a work of fiction.
Entertainment and escapism, not a political statement.

GRATUITIES:

Cjazz - Thanks so much. Though, we kind of wish she would hurry up and finish the
book before June 21!

RainWaters - Aw, yeah . . .feeling the love . . .

Jeminia Auburn - <munches on cookie> no implosions so far.

Bad-ass-Cinderella - they're really not the pet types. They're more the move into your
room, eat your food and make fun of you type. But they're flattered by the
invitation.

OzCrow - that was actually intentional. There is a very good reason no one can hear
parseltongue, and it's all Snippy and Snarky's fault.

whitebearwrites - Thanks, welcome to the story.

Abskii - the world may never know.

Vmorticia - woohoo! You reviewed!

Lottalita - thanks for the good luck, it helped.

S. Wing - cute review.

Draco Malfoy -N - Harry Potter - thanks so much. Hope you like the rest. And a
cheerio to you, too.

menecarkawan - Yeah, we kinda think they're funny, too.

Demon Rising - <hands cricket back> the last one I had got frozen, not on purpose. But
we'll keep the cookies. thanks!

LenaLovely12 - Do *you* know what a fava bean is? We have no idea.

Lady Vader - more of Sheldon's evilness to come.

Goddess Blue - the only ones? Really? <blushes> thanks.

Miseryslilwench - you don't want to adopt them. They'll eat all your peanut butter
and put empty containers back in the fridge.

Mad About Harry - glad the slash is working for you!

Lurker princess - forgiveness granted. Hope you enjoy this chapter. No gooey
sweetness, don't worry! Thank you so much for the long review it is greatly
appreciated.

grrbaby - they can't help it. They don't manners.

madame pyro - darned creepy, isn't it?

LM - hang in there, it'll happen.

baby blue girl - we will, don't worry!

Natzlin - you have no idea! They're so much fun to write.

Vasquaz - rolling as requested

kittylove - wait for it, it's coming.

kimirasarielle - Ron's not here, because the whole school isn't here yet! Just the
prefects and the teachers, but he's coming. Also, there's a reason for a muggle at
the school, and we will explain why it's Troy in particular later.

Chaos Rose - ouch! That would hurt. We understand he's annoying but give him a
chance. Glad you like the story. How did the files work out? In the right
format? Let us know and we'll send the rest.

Miko - here's more, just for you.

Jade Dagger - Yeah, we're sneaky that way.

Man eating dust bunny - you got it all right! Keep reading!

Bre - It's the dental floss that gets to me. That's so . . . evil.

pretty pixie - thank you, thank you.

Chibi Chingo- glad we got that all straightened out.


****************************************************************************************************

Severus Snape was seated at his desk preparing the first lesson of the school
year. Try as he might, he couldn't concentrate on the task at hand. His troubled
thoughts circled around one Hermione Granger. The girl was a marvel and it was an
understatement to say that he was impressed with both her intelligence and her
resourcefulness. However, his admiration didn't trouble him. This was an acceptable
feeling to have for a student. Appropriate. His other feelings for the girl were
decidedly inappropriate.

Severus supposed that it was only natural. They had leapt over that boundary
between teacher and student the night of that meeting. They hadn't even had a chance
to mull over the ramifications of those actions. And Hermione and himself were
spending a great deal of time alone together as well. It was to be expected that his
thoughts drifted to her. She was a beautiful young woman and he was no different
than any other man. Except that he was her teacher and she entrusted herself into his
care. It would be unconscionable to violate that trust by making this into more than
what it was. No matter how much he might want to.

Severus was saved from his thoughts by the sound of a bird's wings. He turned
around and approached what he assumed was his own owl only it wasn't. Instead, a
large raven sat on the window sill. Its oily black feathers and regal bearing were
unmistakable. Tied around its leg was a piece of black parchment paper. . . .a Death
Eater missive. "How. . . banal." Severus commented as he plucked the message from
the bird's leg. "I don't suppose your going to croak 'Nevermore', are you?" The bird
was wisely silent but continued to watch him with baleful eyes. Severus pulled his
wand from his robes. "Incantus Finitem." The ominous bird reduced itself to a
harmless barn owl. "The hack couldn't even train real ravens." He opened the
parchment paper. "Bugger." Severus said succinctly. The invitation was written in a
red scrawling script. He idly wondered if it was blood. As usual, it was fraught with
Lucius' tiresome attempts to be both sinister and jovial .

Come One, Come All


To the Black and Silver Ball


Celebrate the Beginning of the End


Malfoy Manor


Midnight


P.S. Don't forget to bring your toy.




***********


Hermione awoke early this morning or more accurately had stayed up verye. e.
She couldn't sleep no matter what she tried. Warm milk, a sedative, and even a gentle
sleep charm had no effect. She was simply too anxious. School was starting today and
Hermione was excited to start her last year. She was also going to see Ron whom she'd
missed. There was also that peculiar conversation she'd had with Professor Snape the
previous evening. If she didn't know better, she'd swear that she had a crush.

Hermione desperately needed to talk this over with someone so she went to
Harry's room. She promised herself that she wouldn't get anywhere near his bed. He
wouldn't give an unbiased opinion about Snape but she could probably use a cover
story. A friend of a friend, etc. . . "Harry?" She knocked. "Are you there?"

No answer.

Hermione peeked in the room. "Harry?"

The house elves had already made his bed and took his laundry. She bit her
lower lip as she tried to think of where he might be. A sly thought came to mind but
she doubted very much that he was in Draco Malfoy's room. Harry was still in denial
about his feelings. "The Quidditch Field." She strode out of the boy's dormitory.

Hermione skidded to a halt in front of the bleachers. Dr. Tatterton was relaxing
on a bench with a cup of coffee and watching a young man practice bludger
drills."Holy Merlin! The man is shameless." She mumbled to herself as she marched up
the stairs. He seduced her professor one night and was ogling Harry the next day.
"Hey!" She said quite loudly.

Troy was so startled he spilled coffee on his khakis. "Oh, hello there, Hermione,
right?" His gaze slid to the half naked quidditch player once more and he rubbed at the
dark patch on his knee absently.

"That's right. I'm Hermione Granger." She said as she plopped down beside
him. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that was obvious." He gestured with his cup. "Sipping a good cup of
java and enjoying the," His lips curved in licentious smile. "View." Troy sipped his
coffee. "I've got to give it to those Gremlins. This is good to the last drop."

"House elves." She corrected .

" Some of the staff warned me about you." He told her conversationally. "Did
you want extra homework? Honors project?"

"I came to. . .warned? Warned?" She snapped. "I'm one of the best students at
Hogwarts. I'm a prefect and got all A's in-"

"Yes, Sevvie filled me in on some of that. It's all the man could talk about. . .yak.
." He made his hand into a mouth". . .yak. . .yak . . .yawn."

"About Sevvie, er Severus." Troy gave her a crafty glance. " I mean Professor
Snape. I just wanted to tell you. . .er. . ." Hermione bit her lip in indecision. What?
Back off! Good luck? "I-"

"Out with it, peach pie." "I u"I um, saw you and him, the other day. Oh! Not that I was spying." She
laughed a little hysterically. "I mean, me, a spy! Who would believe that? But I-"

"Ah, I get it." He patted her hand. "I'm sorry you witnessed that pathetic
display. Honestly, how was I to know he wasn't gay? Hello! How much can one man
swish?"

Hermione's face lit up. "You mean, he's not. . .and you-"

"Most definitely are. Something must be wrong with my gaydar." Troy said
thoughtfully. "I think it's the English factor."

Hermione thought back to her conversation with Severus and groaned. "I'm
very stupid."

"I thought you were very smart." He eyed her. "So, why are you so interested
in Snape, Plain and Tall. School girl crush?" He guessed.

"Of course not! I went through that already with Professor Lockhart. I was
curious. That's all." She evaded.

"I see." Troy said, scratching his jaw. "No, I don't. What are you hiding, crumb
cake?"

She needed to deflect his attention. "Wow! Look at Harry go!" She shaded her
eyes with one slim hand as she looked up into the sky. That's when she realized that it
wasn't Harry. It was Oliver Wood, the new quidditch Coach. He'd had to join them
late because he played quidditch professionally and had just quit his job as a Keeper
with the Montana Madrigals. "Huh, that's not Harry. Its Wood."

"What a stimulating name."

She blushed. "Oliver Wood." Hermione hastily corrected. "I used to go to
school with him."

"I'll make sure to introduce myself." Troy said, eyes still on the young man.
"Tell me, do you have Muggle Studies this year?"

"Yes, I'm taking the advanced section with you, Dr. Tatterton."

"Splendid. Please, call me Dr. Troy though."

"Forgive me for being impertinent, Dr. Troy, but why aou hou here? Strictly
speaking, Muggles are rarely allowed here."

"I thought you knew." He turned to her. "I'm here to increase good will towards
Muggles. From what I understand there have been a number of. . .incidents involving
the Death Eaters."

"It must be Professor Dumbledore's idea." Hermione said appreciatively. "The
Death Eaters are attacking Muggles and Muggle-borns. It makes sense to increase
positive contact."

"Absolutely. I'm going to be introducing the school at large to Muggle culture.
We're planning movie nights and even a concert or two."

"Not many of the so-called pure bloods no much of anything about the culture.
I'm looking forward to your class. "

"Okay, bored with that topic." His eyes pinned her. "Let's talk about Sevvie. I
never did get a satisfactory answer out of you."

"I'd better go. I have plenty to do today." Hermione jumped up from her seat.

"Not so fast." He yanked her back down. " me, me, peach pie."

She couldn't tell him that she was spying with Severus. She shuddered to think
of what the Death Eaters would do to a Muggle professor if they found out he had
information. "Oh, you guessed it. I have a crush on him." She said as lightly as
possible. "He's smart and more amusing than you would think." She sat back and a
smile played about her lips as she spoke. "He seems to know everything about
anything too. Very well read. His library alone is--" She broke off. "Yes, alright ,I have
a crush on him." Only this time she wasn't lying. To herself or to him.

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen." She held up a hand. "You don't need to give me a lecture. I know
that this is going nowhere. Its against Hogwarts rules, for one. They'd fire him and
probably expel me. Sev. . .Professor Snape thinks of me as a child too."

"I'm not so sure about that. When I spoke to him the other night he praised you
and told me that I needed to leave so that he could prepare for your arrival." He
winked conspiratorially. "Sevvie actually almost smiled when he talked about you."
Hermione grinned. " Hmmm. . .and I think the good professor might feel the same way
about you." Troy watched her carefully for a reaction and was delighted to see her
cheeks flood with color. So that was the way the peach pie crumbled, eh? "You know
you won't always be a student here."

"I know. But I'm not sure-"

"Well, there's only one way to find out, right?"

"What are you getting at it?"

"I'm saying that you might have to test the waters. I'm not condoning anything
that would get you expelled but there's no harm in flirting."

"I don't know if I-"

"Don't worry about thing. I'm going to help you. After all, just because I can't
have Sevvie doesn't mean that you shouldn't." He patted her hand again. "Just
consider me your Fairy Godfather."

Hermione was dubious . "Um, thank you?"

**********


Hermione found Severus sitting on her bed. Crookshanks was occupying the
chair at her desk as was his habit. Professor Snape was wise to not disturb him. That
was a clawing offense. He was perched on the foot of the bed, near the edge. He looked
like a child sitting outside the principal's office. He was unaware of her notice and she
almost betrayed herself with a laugh as she saw him crane his neck to peruse her book
shelf.

Deciding to end his misery, she placed her hands on her hips and said loudly but
teasingly. "I thought we talked about this."

"Hermione." He shot to his feet, appearing alarmed by her presence.

" I'm kidding. You wouldn't have come here unless you had a good reason."

"Yes, well, it's actually a very bad reason." He pulled the missive from his
pocket and handed it over.

Hermione read it over. "Blast."

"I'm afraid we're going to have to accelerate your training."

"Why does he want me there?" Hermione's brow furrowed in consternation.
"I'm not a Death Eater. I don't even have the mark."

"Malfoy's testing us both, Hermione, and we must give a stellar performance."
He said as gently as he could. However, she needed to be aware of the risks. "Do you
understand what I'm saying?"

"If we make a error it might be a fatal one." She whispered, stricken.

"Exactly." His hand seemed to reach for hers on its own volition. She gratefully
took it as they stood awkwardly in the center of her room. "Come, come." He
squeezed her hand. "We can outwit them." His lips twisted into a smirk. "I've been
doing it for years."

"What do we need to do?" Hermione asked. She wanted a task to do, something
to occupy her mind.

"The first order of the day is image. You must present yourself as one of them.
Originality is frowned on." She looked at him quizzically. "They parade around in
matching masks and cloaks." Severus moved to her bed, for lack of a better place, and
sat himself down. He looked a bit more comfortable there. "Do you have something
suitable to wear?"

"I might." Hermione said as she turned to her closet. She pulled two gowns
from the back and held them up on either side of her body for inspection. One was
pink chiffon (courtesy of her mother) and the other was a midnight blue satin. She had
brought them to school in hopes of being asked to one of the formal dances. They were
both conservatively cut and had little in the way of decoration. Hermione had never
been one for frills and bows. Both of the gowns were well suited to a school function
but were inadequate for this type of formal social engagement.

"I trust you are still top of your class in transfiguration?"

"Yes." It was said without vanity. "You want me to change them?"

"One of them, at least. They need to be longer , floor length. It is a black and
silver ball so the color will need to be changed as well." Severus stood up and cast a
critical eye on the garments. He plucked the midnight blue dress from her grasp. "You
can put the pink menace away, I think."

Hermione's lips twitched. "I just want you to know that I didn't pick that one
out." She put it back in the closet.

"I have no doubt."

Hermione grabbed her wand and focused on the garment. She'd seen a dress
that appealed to her at the department store while shopping with her mother.
However, it had been far too expensive. "Transforment vetement!" The gown spread
down to the floor under a black fall of tulle which was gathered at the waist. The
puffed sleeves disappeared to be replaced by a silver strapless bodice and a line of
embroidered flowers. "Perfect." She pulled a throw blanket from her chair and waived
her wand again. "Transforment vetement!" It transformed into a matching tulle shawl.
"Very good, Hermione." Severus said. He handed her the magic garments and
she hung them on the hook beside her closet. "I couldn't have done it better myself."
She arched a brow. "Really. I couldn't. Transfiguration was a nightmare for me."

"What else do we need to do?"

"You realize that you and I will have to appear to be enthusiastic to a certain
degree. In the social aspect at least. There may be . . .amusements there that will shock
you."

"Like?"

He sighed. "They're a decadent lot, Hermione. Hedonistic. They seek pleasure
in all its many forms. Drink, drugs," Severus couldn't look her in the eyes, "sex, wealth,
and power. I could try to predict what we might find there but I never do their
depravity justice."

Hermione was finding it difficult to breathe. "I'm going to be thrown in over my
head, aren't I?"

"And if you can't swim you'll sink us both." His expression was grave. "I'm
loathe to put more pressure on you but I don't have a choice. You must appear
indifferent to anything that you find unpalatable. Unaffected by what goes on. This is
going to be difficult and very, very dangerous." Severus took her by the shoulders.
"I'll be there to guide you, Hermione. Trust me."

"I do." She was caught in his eyes.

"They will expect us to be intimate with one another as well."

"I know."

"We haven't had time to pursue that particular aspect of your new role yet."

"I guess we'll have to wing it." Hermione said, breaking the tension between
them.


Severus cupped her face in his hands. "I want to warn you, I have to be a
different person there. Like I was at the meeting, only more so."

"Different? Oh, you mean evil?" An image of the book imitating him flashed
before her eyes, and she held back a laugh.

"Well, yes." He frowned. "This is serious."

"I can handle it." She smiled. "I'll just pretend I'm in your class again."

Suddenly, he tugged her close to him, holding her tightly. "I'm glad you still
have a sense of humor."

She stared up at him. "The sardonic position was already taken."

He leaned in, and her breath caught in her throat. Was he going to kiss her? He
started to close his eyes, and caught site of her locket, lying open around her neck. In
the picture, Harry and Ron were staring at him, angrily. Severus realized that they
were alone in her bedroom, and reminded himself that she was a student. His student.
He turned his face at the last moment and kissed her forehead instead. "It's almost time
for the train to arrive."

She frowned, surreptitiously searching for snakes. No, green and blue spies.
What had gone wrong? What did it take to get your teacher-slash-pretend-boyfriend-so-you-can-be-a-spy to kiss you? "Um, yes, I guess so."

"You should come to me tonight." She raised a brow at him. He cursed. "Well,
I can't very well strut through Slytherin in a tux up to your room, can I?"

"And I can come down in a dress to talk potions with you?" She pointed out. He
cursed again.

"You're going to have to change in my room." Severus sighed. "And I need you
to let Draco in, he'll have to change there as well."

"What's wrong?"

"I just realized how this might appear to the casual observer." Severus
contemplated. "We have to appear that we're dating, but try to hide it from everyone."

"I have a really bad idea."

"Yes?"

"I'll date Draco."

"No."

"It would be the perfect alibi." She pointed out. "The Jr. Death Eaters will know
that's it just a front for my relationship with you, and it'll be legitimately worth hiding
from everyone else."

"You're saying that you want to date other people?"

"No, I want to pretend to date other people."

"There must be another solution." Severus insisted.

"Sure, the obvious one. I doubt that you want to get a reputation, professor."

"Point taken. But you're only pretending to date me and the boy so doesn't that
give you two pretend boyfriends?" He beamed at her. "That's very - "

"Slytherin of me?"

"Yes." Severus silently hoped that the rumors about Draco were true. "There
will be no laying about in Draco's bed either."

*********


"Will you two stop giggling? Show some respect." Griff-Gruff commanded yet
he felt off too. It was strange to be doing this in the middle of the day, instead of night.
It lost most of its pomp and circumstance. "This is a sacred duty. We are carrying on a
tradition that has a long and illustrious history of-"

"Oh, shut up, Fliff-Fluff. It's not like they can hear ussss, anyway." Snippy's tail
twitched in irritation.

Ahead of them, the bright red steam engine of the Hogwart's Express could be
seen chugging towards them. Normally, this was a joyous sight but this year it was
bittersweet. Usually, the train arrived in the magic of the night, but was now coming at
an the innocuous hour of three in the afternoon for safety reasons. Earlier this
morning, the professors and prefects had performed an elaborate protection ritual on
the platform. Aurors, wearing robes emblazoned with the Ministry of Magic seal, were
stationed on the train and beside the tracks. T was was no doubt that the Wizarding
World had changed around them.

All of the House mascots stared at one another, for once in their long existence,
they put aside their rivalry. Griff-Gruff held out his paw in the center of the small
group. Hazelheart placed his on top. Rune stretched out her wing to the pile. The
snakes addedir tir two tails to the mix.

The small but dignified griffin, who assumed he was the leader of the group ,
cleared his throat. "As Dumbledore said, Hogwarts to the very end!"

"To the end!" They all echoed. All of the mascots pulled away, seemingly
uncomfortable about the reminder of how fragile their way of life was.

Hazelheart was the first to break the silence. "Well, peeps, I hope this group is
chillier than the last. They totally crushed my start of yea year groove . . ."

Rune glared at Snippy and Snarky who had burst out laughing at the memory of
the three first years covered in sticky green goo after startling the badger. She started to
reprimand them when she remembered that she was evil, now. She attempted a cackle.
But she was knocked into by a heavy object.

"Oh, so sorry, Rune - wait, no I'm not! I'm corrupted, depraved even, and I did
that on purpose."

Griff-Gruff whirled around in outraged horror. "How did you get here?"

"I walked." The book said slowly, so the feeble minded mascot could
understand. "It was sort of an sinful amble, you know, not too fast, not too swishy.
Rather like Snape. I've been practicing."

"You want to be like Snape? Ewww." Snarky shuddered. His eyes lit up
mischeviously as he had a new bit of gossip to drop into the conversation. "I suppose
you're kissing Hiney now, too?"

"What? Kissing who's hiney?" The book looked disgusted, Cover!Lockhart
stuck out his tongue and made barfy faces. "I'm evil, not gross."

"Hey, Book, you're the one who wanted to be like Snape." Snippy pointed out.
"We didn't mean you were kissing butts -" The two of them broke out into laughter at
the thought of butts. "We meant Hermione."

"Hermione kisses butts?" Rune was pleased by that nugget of information.

"Can I point out how inappropriate this conversation is?" Griff-Gruff
reprimanded.

"Chill, Gruffman." Haze wanted to know what was happening.

"No, she kisses Snape." Snippy clarified.

"Snape!" It was Griff-Gruff. "Why? Why would a Gryffindor like Hermione do
that? I taught her better." He shook his head. "It's always the quiet ones."

"Well, we didn't actually see them kiss. Apparently, they don't like being
watched." Snarky commented. 'Who knew?"

"He was going to kiss Hermione!" Rune looked devastated.

"Well, he was planning on it, but he ended up kissing Tatterton instead."

"He's GAY!!" Rune couldn't believe her rotten luck. Wrong species and wrong
gender.

"Well, that kindkind of obvious, wasn't it?" Griff-Gruff sniffed. Meanwhile the
train had pulled to a stop in front of the station. Griff-Gruff turned to the book. "You
need to go away now."

"Ah, I see. A mascots only deal?" They all nodded. "So if I stayed, I would be
breaking the rules." They nodded again and the book smiled wickedly. "Then I will
stay as. . .as. . .the Mascot of Evil!" He tried to put his hands on his hips, but sadly
realized he didn't have hips. "Whose house should I be in?"

Griff-Gruff, Rune, and Hazel answered, "Slytherin."

"You ssssuck!" The snakes shook their heads. Snarky looked at the book,
"You're not riding in our boat, Book."

"No, I'm now the . . ." He paused for dramatic effect. "Mascot of Evil. And of
course not! I am going to hop from boat to boat, and try to rock the first years into the
lake! Oooh, and splash people!"

"Why don't you throw rocks at the Giant Octopus while you're at it?" Snippy
suggested.

"Dude, that's not cool. If you teach it to throw rocks at the Giant Octopus, how
long before he turns on helpless badgers?" Hazel worried.

"Haze, you are safe from my evilness. You provide me with -"

"Shhhh!" He waived his arms. " Dude, that's a secret."

"I don't keep secrets - I'm the Mascot of Evil!"

"Then, it's like an evil secret." Haze smiled craftily.

The book caught his eye and nodded solemnly.

"Yes, and such a well-kept one." Griff-Gruff frowned. "Straighten up. They're
coming." The griffin puffed out his chest and held his head high. After all, his students
were the best of the bunch.

"Who cares about them? Does anybody see the candy cart lady?" Snarky craned
his head to see.

"Oh, oh, oh! There she is!" The snakes took off like a shot, tripping students
along the way as they raced for the leftovers.

Ronald Weasley stepped off the train, turning to offer a hand to his younger
sister Ginny. After her, stepped down a blonde girl with bright hazel eyes, Madeleine
Mabb. He stood, idly chatting with them while he waited for Harry and Hermione,
who had promised to meet him on the platform.

"Why aren't they here yet?" He demanded. "I knew this would happen if they
both made prefect. We'll never get to see them. What? They don't even have time for
their best friend?"

"Nope, no one has time for full of themselves Quidditch captains." Came the
teasing reply.

"Wood?" Ron turned around, and sure enough, there was Oliver Wood,
grinning at him from the corner. "What are you doing here?"

"Erm, escorting carriages to the Great Hall. It's a new tradition this year." Wood
said uncomfortably. "All Hogwarts instructors are participating." He pointed to the
surrounding carriages. Ron could see Professor McGonnagal and Professor Sprout on
either side of them. They were seated in carriages with other upperclassmen. Sprout
was holding Hazelheart in her lap, and they were both giggling erratically. Ron
grimaced and turned to Oliver once more. "So, I'm fulfilling one of the obligations that
comes with my new position." The trio looked puzzled. "Quidditch Master."

"That's great!" Ron smiled. "This is going to be our best year ever." Wood
looked discomfited again but smiled. "You're Quidditch Master, Hermione and Harry
are prefects, and I'm Quidditch Capt Wi With Harry as our Seeker again, we're
guaranteed the Cup!"

"Um, yeah. About that, Ron . . ."

"What? Harry's okay, isn't he?" Ron looked panicked. "He can still play, can't
he?"

"Yes . . .but you have a new seeker."

"What do you mean?" Ron asked. "We don't need a new seeker! We like the old
one!"

"Well, it's a long story. But Harry will be sharing the position this year." Oliver
shifted his feet.

"With who?"

"It's a long story."

"With who?" Ron pressed.

"We should probably find a carriage. Don't want to get stuck with Snape."

"With - eww." Ron grimaced. "No, you're not getting out of it by threatening
me with Mr. Death Eater Breath himself. With who?"

Wood tried again. "Ron, it's really not the right time- "

Ron grabbed him by his collars. "Wood, with who?"

"It's only half the time, so it's not really a big deal . . ." He tried to shrug
casually.

"WITH WHO???" He shook him, desperately.

"Draco Malfoy."

*********


Harry scanned the platform, Hermione's arm looped loosely in his, watching for
flashes of bright red hair. Griff-Gruff was instructing the first years on House
procedures, as they climbed into boats. Hazelheart was laughing with Sprout.
McGonagall was glowering at rowdy students. As they passed by the luggage car, they
saw the Book switching all the suitcase tags. To their surprise, Rune was helping him.
The snakes had cornered a spider near one of the walls and Harry heard them
threatening to tie it up and throw it on the tracks.

Harry spotted a commotion towards the back. Several students appeared to be
circling a fight. Quickly Hermione and he ran to the group. Ron was shaking Wood
and demanding that he take some statement back. "Ron?"

"Harry!" Ron let go of Oliver, who got up with as much dignity as he could
muster. "You won't believe what he said!"

"Never mind about that. We should write you up, Ronald Weasley!" Hermione
huffed. "Assaulting a staff member."

"You're one to talk." He grinned at her and she couldn't help but grin back.
They both grinned at Harry. And the trio fell into a huge group hug. When they finally
let go, he gave Harry a commiserating, if irritated, look. "Malfoy, Harry?"

"What? What about him? I have nothing to do with Malfoy! We go on patrols,
and there was the venom sucking incident, but th not not as bad as it sounds!" Harry
hauled air into his lungs, while Ron shot him confused looks.

"Don't worry, Harry. Plenty of people have Malfoy sucking incidents." Oliver
laughed to himself.

"The only sucking thing I was talking about was Quidditch, and I'm just going to
assume that you two are too." Ron looked at Oliver. "Especially you or I'm not going
to be able to shower in the locker room anymore."

"As if." Oliver muttered.

Ron's eyes widened as he took in their appearance. "Wicked! You guys stole
Slytherin Prefect badges!"

"Actually, we are Slytherin prefects." Hermione informed him.

"That's not even the slightest bit amusing." Ron growled . "Next you'll tell me
you're friends with Snape, and have a crush on Malfoy."

"We better get going. Or we won't get a carriage." Harry turned around.

"Don't worry. I pulled in a favor and asked someone to save us one." Hermione
smiled. She looped one arm in Harry's, and her other in Ron's, and led them to carriage
six.

"Who'd you get to save you a carriage?" Wood reached to open the door for
them. Seated in the middle of the front seat was Severus Snape. Oliver gasped, trying
not to shriek, and stepped back. "Good Lord, man! Give a fellow fair warning."

"Go away." Snape scowled. "This one's taken."

"Ok! We'll find another one!" Wood turned around. "Sorry, Hermione, Snape
slithered into that one."

"Severus!" Hene pne pushed past Wood. "It's us!"

"Ah, Miss Granger." Severus said, using her surname deliberately. "I see your
prefect status is already going to your head."

She blushed. "Sorry, Professor Snape." In all the excitement and fear she forgot
that they were still professor and student to the outside world.

"Couldn't you just set him on fire again?" Ron murmured with a disgusted
sigh.

"Just get in the carriage." She glare him him, though she squeezed his arm in
support, delighted to be reunited again. Climbing into the carriage, she crossed in front
of Snape and sat in between him and the window. Ron got as far to the other corner as
he could, Maddie following, and Ginny behind her. Harry grimaced and climbed in
next to Snape.

"Blast! No more room!" Oliver smiled and started to back away.

Another carriage rolled up. A man in sunglasses leaned out of the window and
drew them down his nose to admire the young man. "I've got room in mine." Troy
flashed Wood a smile. Snippy and Snarky peered down from the luggage rack,
munching on treats from the trolley and were, therefore, too busy to speak. As Wood
climbed in, Troy peered into the carriage. "Hey, Sevvie."

"Mr. Potter, if you would kindly shut the door." Snape scowled.

"Looks like you're taking my advice. If you need anything else, you know
where the teacher's quarters are." Troy settled his shades back on faceface as she
blushed. "Good show, Peach pie."

"We are leaving now." Snape waited until Harry shut the door to add,
"Fruitcake."


The first few minutes of the ride were silent. Everybody but Hermione, seemed
to be straining towards the door. Ron put a protective arm around his girlfriend,
pulling her close to his side, and casting suspicious looks at Snape. Hermione alone
seemed to be in a great mood. She grabbed Ron's hand with her left hand, and reached
over Snape to take Harry's right. Snape followed the path of her hand with his eyes.
When Harry reached to take her hand, he smackarryarry's hand with his wand.
"Hands to yourself, Potter."

Harry stared at him, hand paused halfway to Hermione. "I beg pardon, sir?"

"You should. Now get your hand away from my lap."

"As if." Harry rolled his eyes.

"What was that, Potter?" Hermione elbowed him, discreetly. He turned to look
at her.

"Stop that, or I'll set you on fire at the ball to prove how evil I am tonight," she
whispered under her breath. His lips twitched, as he settled back into his seat. Ginny
stared, the only one to catch the exchange. Snape had almost smiled. She continued to
observe them in amusement, as every time Hermione talked, Snape turned full
attention on her, and anytime she tried to touch Harry, Snape smacked him with his
wand.

*********


"Mr. Malfoy. I need to speak to you for a moment." Snape paused outside the
Great Hall, a hand on the blond's shoulder.

"Yes, sir." He dutifully followed him to a quiet nook.

"You will be dating Hermione." Severus announced without preamble.

"What?!"

"I need a way to get both of you into my quarters to dress and Apparate. As Im
sure you are aware, she and I have a particular association and I can not have my name
disparaged. If the other students think you're dating, I'll be less suspicious." He
explained. "And with the ball tonight, expediency is expected."

"But, Severus, I'm -- "

"I know. But you must do this for the causehinkhink how good it'll look for the
Malfoy name. Willing to date a Mudblood. Throws suspicion away from you." Severus
told him, sarcastically. "The Dark Lord will appreciate your sacrifice, as will I."

"Did you tell her, yet?"

"It was her idea." He nodded.

"How very -- "

"Slytherin of her?" He proposed wryly.

"Exactly." Together they walked into the room, and Draco sat down at the
Gryffindor table, and imagined the look on Harry and Ron's face when he started
hitting on Hermione in potions.

Draco glanced up to see the first years march through the door into the Great
Hall. Half of them were dripping wet, and appeared severely displeased. Ahead of
them scampered a slightly damp book, chuckling occasionally. He should have known.

With a sigh, he turned back to his red and gold table with a sneer. Across the table sat
Ron, who was currently glowering at him, and if he wasn't mistaken, growling a little.
He wondered idly if he should have moved all therp srp silverware to the other end of
the table. Ron continued to glower through the Sorting Ceremony, waiting for the
chance to talk to Harry and Hermione. As the ceremony ended, the book stood in
McGonagall's way, not letting her remove the hat.

"I demand to be sorted!" Sheldon declared. "I want to be in the evil House.
Because, I am. . . dum. . .dum. . .dum. . .the Mascot of Evil!"

Dumbledore smiled. "But you see, Sheldon, there are no evil Houses."

"Oh, c'mon! There is too!" The Book whined. He pointed to the Slytherin Table.
" You're telling my they're not evil?"

"Of course they're not evil," The Headmaster insisted.

"How about that one!" He pranced over the table and pointed to Marcus Flint.
"You're telling me Mr. Buck Tooth here isn't evil?"

"Why, you little cretin, I'm going to rip you apart!' Flint said angrily.

"Did you hear that? That was a death threat if I ever heard it. And death
threats," he paused for emphasis, "Are clearly evil."

Dumbledore folded his hands and said diplomatically. "But what if there are
evil students in other Houses? Shouldn't you be influencing them as well?"

"I hadn't though about that."

"Then maybe, you should remain House-free." The staff groaned. At least three
of the Houses would have been safe.

Draco shot a look over to the Slytherin Table. The two prefects were sitting very
close to each other, trying not to look at the Slytherins surrounding them. He noted
Snape glaring at Potter. His gaze wondered the length of the table, taking in the newest
editions. Looking back at the Head Table, he spotted Snippy and Snarky swaying back
and forth, eyes focused on Dumbledore, snickering.

"I'm hungry, candy man! Let's go!"

Draco blinked. Where had that come from? He scanned the faces of the other
students. No, they hadn't spoken. It had a distinct hiss to it. He narrowed his eyes
back on the snakes.

"Forbidden . . .blah, blah, blah . . .Filch's scary red-eyed kitty . . . yadda, yadda,
yadda . . .we're starving!" No, it couldn't be. Draco didn't speak parseltongue. . .but
Harry did. What the. . .?

Trelawney leaned over to talk to Snape. "Severus, I have a bad feeling."

Snape glanced up from his food, despair in his eyes. Oh yes, she was going to
talk to him. "Me, too."

"That sense of impending doom can only mean one thing!" Snippy cried.
"Trelawney has come out of her trance."

"And she had predicted -" Snarky tapped out a drum roll. "Certain boredom!"

The snakes, spying a new target, began to circle her plate with glee. Snippy
swayed from side to side. "Ohmmm . . . .ohmmmm . . .wait, I have a vision . . ."

Snarky grasped her tea cup, shook it and pretended to read the leaves in the
bottom. "You are going to be very hungry!"

"Someone is going to steal your chicken!"

"Wait, who is that devilishly handsome and witty pair stealing your food?"

"Why, it's usssss! Thee, thee, thee . . . ."

The Head Table was adorned with a banner that showed all of the Houses united
under the heading of Hogwarts. The placement of this banner was deliberate. After
he'd given the usual warnings, Dumbledore grew more serious. "As I'm sure you've
noticed, you all have prefects from the opposing House." The students nodded in
understanding. "It is important that you all understand that you are *Hogwarts*
students, first and foremost. I'm sure your parents have made you awar the the
unpleasant events that have occurred lately regarding Voldemort and his followers."
Many students at the Slytherin table exchanged secretive smirks.

"Also be aware that there have been several changes to our policies. Your
prefects will discuss everything with you during House meetings tonight. Rest assured
that you are all safe here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled kindly and the students
relaxed somewhat.

Meanwhile, Harry stared all along the table, making note of who smirked and
who didn't. Snippy and Snarky slithered onto the table and slunked down the table
towards the center. He also noticed that the upperclassmen started grabbing forks and
knives. They resembled uncouth Vikings going off to war if 'war' referred to bowls of
food. Surely, they could wait a few more minutes.

"Appalling, isn't it?" Hermione whispered to him. "At least the first years are
behaving."

Blaise Zabini leaned across the table. "That's because they don't know any
better."

"Than to have good manners?" Hermione blurted out.

"You'll see . . ." The food appeared on the tables. At the end of the table, a first
year reached for a roll . . .and was promptly smacked with a snake tail.

"Ow! Hey!"

"Who said you could have any?" Snippy bared his fangs threateningly.

"Quick, while they're distracted!" Blaize grabbed a bowl of salad and tossed it to
Harry, reaching for a plate of chicken. "You have to get as much as possible while they
aren't watching."

Harry and Hermione quickly filled their plates. They were astonished to see the
snakes had built a fortress of fof food containers and were eating noisily. "That's
disgusting." Harry proclaimed.

"You haven't seen what they're like during breakfast. All I can say is, avoid the
pancakes. They might hurt you for those." Blaise said sagely.

"Well, not anymore." Harry said firmly. "We're going to have a talk about
that." He scowled at the snakes. "Do you hear me?"

Snippy made a rude gesture with his tale.

Snarky's cheeks were ballooned out around a large piece of chicken. "Did you
hear that, Scarface?"


The snakes liked Harry a lot. But this was about food, one didn't play favorites.

Harry shook his head but caught Draco's stunned expression from across the
room and noted that the blond boy was looking right at the snakes as well. He only had
a moment to ponder this ,however, because of several gasps and 'oohs' coming from the
student body.

The suspended candles sputtered out, leaving them in relative darkness. The
stars on the enchanted ceiling began moving. They were whisked from their normal
positions to another. It was clear that there was a pattern being formed. Many of the
students clapped or smiled. Harry started to smile, the pattern seemed familiar
somehow, though he couldn't remember the ceiling doing this before. Harry sought out
Dumbledore at the Head Table. The Headmaster's expression was appalled and tinged
with fear. He looked over at Hermione, and she had turned white, one hand clapped to
her mouth. Harry glanced up once more and watched in horror, his hands clenching
into fists, as the finishing touches were made on a Death Eater symbol.

The entire room fell into shocked silence.

And then pandemonium broke out. Harry couldn't recall this much panic since
the mountain troll had walked the halls. Dumbledore shot out of his chair. "Aurors!"
He called and the doors to the Great Hall opened and they streamed in. "Prefects,
escort your House to your dormitories this instant!" He gestured to his fellow teachers.
"Follow me."

"And so it begins." Hermione said quietly. She seemed to shake herself aware.
"Girls, come with me. Quietly and calmly."

Harry did the same and they marched to the Slytherin dorms. Hies ses stayed
on Malfoy until they took different staircases.

The snakes remained on the table munching happily away, both of them were in
a food-induced state of bliss. Snarky snapped out of it first. "Hey, where did every
body go?"

"I dunno." Snippy dove into a bowl of mashed potatoes. "But they left the food
here."

"Troll?"

Snarky froze. "Spider?"

"It might be on the ceiling. . ." They glanced above. "Ohhhhh, whew." They
wiped their foreheads with their tales. "It's just one of those stupid Death Eater
thingies."

They blinked.

"But its fried chicken day!"

"Death Eaters sssuck."

"And Scarface left us here to die."

They both cuddled close to each other. "HARRY!"


Another Note: *Dodging rotten tomatoes* I know, I know. . .no kiss. There is a very
particular reason why its going to happen in the next part. It's going to open the flood
gates! Expect the next part by the end of this upcoming weekend.