Thank you, Miss Granger

Thank you, Miss Granger
Disclaimer: See first chapter.


Many thanks to all my beta-readers for their patience: Corazon, Div/Caelestia and Estrilda (of course).


Chapter Twelve : Back to Present/Reality

It was nearly dawn.

Hermione walked straight forward. McGonagall tried to stop her without success and only ended up with the sample in her arms.

\'Miss Granger, I-\'

But Hermione was not in the mood to be reasoned with.

\'You have what you want. I hope Miss Emmeline Vance will be saved.\'

McGonagall looked at her with astonishment.

\'How do you know-?\'

But Hermione cut her off.

\'It was obvious, really!\'

She felt sick because of the Time-travel and so furious there was no way she was going to waste her time on politeness.

\'Where is he?\'

\'Who are you talking about, dear child?\' asked her teacher trying to keep her upper lip stiff.

\'Sev... Professor Snape. Where is Professor Snape? I need to talk to him.\'

She realized McGonagall was standing in the middle of the way to Headmaster Dumbledore\'s office. She ran without giving it a second thought. Her professor tried desperately to stop her.

\'Don\'t! He cannot see you now. He needs time to face the changes you have provoked in his past.\'

But Hermione did not care. All she knew was that she had abandoned a young boy to a horrible fate, and that she felt deadly guilty, because she had not been given a chance, because he was just a heartless monster.

She wanted to hurt him, she wanted to make him pay. At this point, she thought nobody could stop her.


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She shot through the door of the Headmaster\'s office, not encountering any resistance and found herself facing a dark silhouette curled up in front of the fireplace. The room was deserted apart from him. She hesitated a bit, not completely sure of what she was to do. There was a strange parallel between the situation she had left and the one she faced now, as if time had had very little influence upon him and his loneliness.

She steeled herself; it was no time for pity. The man who was responsible for her mourning was here, at arm\'s reach. She took a step forward.


Severus Snape was sitting in front of the fireplace, his head buried in his hands. He was shaking nervously. As he moaned some incomprehensible words, she almost had the impression he had a nightmare. She had expected a more direct and aggressive confrontation and was therefore a bit disconcerted.

McGonagall shot through the door after her.

\'Don\'t-\'

But she did not finish her sentence since Dumbledore appeared from nowhere, a hand raised, and silenced her without a word. He had his long purple robe, the one on which was printed \'Deus Ex Machina\' in golden letters. He then moved to the younger man and the contact of his hand on the Potions Master\'s shoulder stopped the shaking as if by magic. Hermione witnd wid with astonishment Severus Snape sighing as if his soul esc escaping from his lips. His hands were still hiding his face as his voice broke into the silence.

\'Thank you, Headmaster.\'

\'You\'re welcome, Severus.\'

Dumbledore then turned to her, still deadly serious and she wanted to hide in a mouse hole. She cringed slightly. She knew she was not allowed to be here, but she felt like she had the right to.

And then, Severus Snape let his hands go down and she could see his face.

He looked so old compared to his younger self. His skin was marked by Life and fights, wrinkles and mental scars, but the eyes were the same, dark, alert and penetrating.

As she met these eyes, she lost her balance and thousands of memories broke into her mind.


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She had not a clue why it had to happen at this very moment, but the flow of images, sounds and emotions was so strong she lost her grip on reality.

She remembered how he had looked at her like a ghost, the first time they had met. She was eleven, she was scared and he was so tall. There was something very weird in these memories. They were hers but they were new at the same time, with an impression of \"déjà vu\". The impression became even more precise as some memories began to be replaced by others.

Oh my God, she thought, I changed the past and the consequences are now happening in front of me, and there nothing I can do to change it since all these things are already part of the past. She shivered, wondg whg what her past would be like now and what these events could have change between her and her Potions Master.

Some things had definitely changed. She remembered how he had come to her defence the day her teeth had grown, snapping at Draco Malfoy in front of the whole class. Even Harry had been petrified by this unexpected outcome. She remembered the way he had given her a quick glance while giving his assignment on werewolves. She knew at this time he was talking to her, and her only, that the rest of the class was just a bunch of necessary figurants.

She wanted to stop the hurricane of memories but she couldn\'t.

He had been so close to trusting her. In the Shrieking Shack, when she had protected Lupin and Black, she had only said: \'Trust me\' and his wand had gone down, and if Sirius had not tried to disarm him, in another stupid attempt to be the hero he would never be, everything could have been solved so easily and peacefully. With just a bit of trust.

All these memories were as clear as daylight, he had always trusted and protected her. How come she had never understood it before?

As the Triwizard Tournament ended with Harry\'s victory, she had felt a fatherly pressure on her shoulder, and she had turned to see him. It was in the middle of the war against Voldemort and he looked exhausted. But the warmth of his hand and the shadow of a smile on his face, all these little attentions made her feel protected, cared for, appreciated, loved.

In the tur of of emotions, she realized with a touch of bitterness that all the affection she had felt for the young man, all the hate she had experienced for her Potions Master had been turned upside down. She did not know who she was supposed to love or hate anymore. The two dark figures had become one, or maybe the young boy had just vanished into the grown-up man.

Where was he? This tortured but touching young boy with his tender heart carefully hidden ? Where was he gone? With all the promises she had made to him and all the caring words he had told her? Where was the one she loved?

She came back to reality, like a puppet deprived of strings.
She had no more faith, no more purpose to fight for.

He was gone.



Through her blurred eyes, she saw him. He was an old man to her, old enough to be her father. His fragility and lean limbs had disappeared for a tensed and full body. His dark eyes were shining like two black stars in the dawn. She wondered why she had no wish to kill him anymore.

He smiled, a very tired and peaceful smile.

\'All these years, I\'ve been wondering why I was going through this. Who had given me the strength to endure so many afflictions.\'

Hermione sighed as the last remains of her fury give room to relief and to an incredible sadness.


\'Your Love is gone and shall never come back, but you did what you had to do, you courageous girl,\' said the little voice inside her, but it gave her no joy.


She felt broken, as if a mental burden was taken away from her. The last bits of the headache vanished as he passed his hand above her forehead. She was free, at last.

His voice broke into her thoughts, soft and caressing.

\'All these years, I\'ve been wondering when I would see you again.\'

Same intonations but deeper voice, and again the same fatherly concern. The young boy had definitely vanished. What was the point of breeding illusions? She had to accept it and to take him for what he was now, and not what he had been. She did not hate him anymore.

The atmosphere in the room was suspended in time. The man in front of her was slightly different from the Potions Master she was used to dealing with, as if the mask was down. He was still distant, but there was an attention in his attitude she had never seen before.

She remembered the young man he was, boastful and paranoid, but certainly not stupid. He had said something...

\'He said you were jealous.\'

She was rewarded by a dubious raising of the eyebrow.

\'Me? Jealous of whom? Myself?\'

She snorted.

\'Well, at some point I wondered what the real point of that spell was, Professor.\'

She held up her chin, conscious Dumbledore and McGonagall were following the conversation with attention. But Severus Snape did not seem offended at all, instead he gave her a very piercing and amused gaze.

\'Since you were not trained enough to close your mind completely, I thought it would be necessary to keep my younger self away from certain pieces of information. Safer for him and for you. I am sorry for the inconvenient pain it may have caused, Miss Granger.\'

\'I thought-\'

But she did not finish her sentence. He did it for her.

\'You thought somehow, I was opposed to this kind of interaction. It was not the case. I would not have prevented it, not for all the gold hidden in Hogwarts, if it had been safe. As I told you, Miss Granger, you are quite a pleasant person, physically and mentally, and moreover you were the first one to believe I was not entirely Evil.\'

There was a moment of perfect silence in the room. Dumbledore and McGonagall were as motionless as statues.

Hermione considered the implications of this new piece of information. She was not dealing with his younger self anymore, she was dealing with a lucid adult person and the balance had changed. As usual, confronting Severus Snape was not comfortable. Somehow she felt he was about to say more and she was tired of fighting.

Hermione kneeled down in front of him and rested her head on his lap. It seemed like a natural thing to do. The smell was not that different, a bit less strong and wild, but not so different. It evoked sensations of protection and tenderness. She relaxed slowly as his hands rested on her back without moving. His voice was hardly a whisper.

\'Even I was convinced that I was lost to the Light, you were the first one to trust me, despite all the difficulties. Your face was a sweet reminder, a protection when I felt I was definitely falling.\'

Hermione did not answer. The pain and the sadness were becoming almost bearable as she let herself be carried away by the caressing intonations of his voice. Her heart was still bleeding but her mind was drifting away.

\'I stood up because I knew we would meet again if I did. I wanted to see you again. Even if... I knew it would be different.\'

Hermione was not sure she wanted to hear what he had to say, even if it was true.

\'After all, as you pointed to that young boy, it\'s him you care about, not me.\'

Hermione remembered saying such things but it seemed different now. At the time, the young boy and her Potions Master were two different persons: one who had purposely lied to her and the second one who had been bitter but ultimately tender and concerned. Of course she cared about him, not about the manipulative bastard who had been playing with her emotions.

She was so much lost in her thoughts, she had completely forgotten she was facing the grown-up version of Severus Snape, the one who could tell precisely what path her thoughts were taking. Raising her face to him, she would have seen the same cold and distant expression he had had for years, shaped by lucidity and loneliness.

Hermione had the same feeling she had experienced during the mission, she had been a pawn. Her emotions and empathy had been purposely used to fool her and the young boy she loved. And once her mission had been completed, she had come back, doing exactly what was expected from her. Such a perfect pawn she had been. But so had he been...

In a flash, she saw what the siton mon might be like from his point of view. At least, she had the liberty to blame somebody else for her pain. He had nobody else to blame but himself and his own intelligence.


\'Such a brilliant piece of work. I wish I was able to do something as good as that.\' the young boy had said, considering the spell she was under.


His wish had been fulfilled, but what was the point?

She could have broken this spell that he had inflicted upon himself. She could have broken the curse he was under.

\'I would have saved you at the time, if you had let me.\'

His eyes widened as he considered the implications of her affirmation, but then he shook his head.\'We\'We could not afford to change the past.\'

As she frowned, he explained.

\'What made me so precious as pawn (she could swear he had used the word on purpose) in this war, was the fact that I was neither completely Evil, nor completely Good. This very delicate balance pushed me into the Dark Arts and then to the side of Light...\'

He paused and turned slightly to Dumbledore who - as if responding to a secret signal - took Minerva by the arm and left the room with her.

\'But why you? Why him? This is not fair.\'

\'Who said Life was fair, Miss Granger?\'

She bit her bottom lip.

\'I wish I could have done more.\'

\'You\'ve done what you could, and more than what was expected of you.\'

She fixed her look upon him with gravity.

\'Really?\'

He nodded. She smiled. There was a moment of silence and peace in the room. She then noticed the way his hand was resting on his knee. She recalled the same body position in the young man and she knew what it meant: he wanted to add something. As soon as the idea popped up in her mind, she could tell he had read it. Some ties were no so easily broken, she thought and from the look on his face, he did not disagree with her.

He was as stiff and upright as usual, locked into the numerous buttons of his clothes. But she saw through that now. He invited her to take a seat in front of him, she obliged. After a moment of recollecting his thoughts, he began.

\'You have done more than change my past, Miss Granger. You have changed my present. Before meeting you... I mean before sending you to the past, my decision to switch sides had not been completely planned and willing.\'

Hermione processed this new piece of information. Was this the reason he wanted Dumbledore and McGonagall to go out? His next sentence was a direct answer.

\'He knows. There is very little he does not know.\'

She called back all her courage to ask the next question.

\'Is it what you were understanding when I came into the room?\'

She was rewarded by a hint of admiration in his face.

\'You have changed something in the young boy I was twenty-three years ago, although I can not name what it is exactly. And in in this present day and time... I have freely chosen to come to the side of Light.\'

Hermione could say nothing. She was sad and happy, she was desperate and relieved, she was dead and more alive than she had ever been. She looked back at this man who had meant so much to her and was now a man she respected, but a man, nothing more and nothing less. The truth was cruel but it was better than lies. She had to face and accept it.

\'I did not know what I was doing at the time, but I don\'t regret I did it.\'

For the first time in her life, she saw something incredibly vulnerable on Severus Snape\'s face. It was neither tenderness nor Love, but she could tell he was somehow touched (?) He bent towards her, with a strange touch of formality.

\'I do not regret it either.\'

He then said, in a very low voice, and for her only to hear:

\'Thank you, Miss Granger.\'


*End of story*

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A *few* thank you\'s:


This story is now finished. It was my first attempt at fanfiction and a very exciting and pleasing experience to me. It would never have been possible without the help of my precious beta-readers: Taya, Div/Caelestia, Corazon and Estrilda.
To quote Regann (wonderful author of \"Heart over Mind\"): \"Any problems still here are products of my own stupidity.\"

Many thanks to all the people who took a bit of their time to read/review my little story:
Shiv, Jiffylog, Ancientgirl, Lena, Beeky63, McHell, Venomequeen_83, IrishRavenX, Kiristeen, Bambu, Hope, Demosthenes, Samantha Snape, Deeble, Shags The Dustmop, Ladydeathfaerie, Glinda Trisstt, Topaz, Barbi Bee, Sarah, Pink Chubby Monkey, Shauna, Anastasia Witchling, XxphenixX, Ellen, SareLiz, Hope, Jewlzthejujubean, Karen Detroit, Hermiones, Trulymad, Influenza1918, Snapeaholic, ArienAstera, Talene, Tesa, Florentia, LoveThePotionBoy, Amy, Nesscafe, Audette, Claire, Doll, Lady Karesse, Elementaldeity, JasperPress77, Jenn, Ochame, Village Mystic, Sabrina, Skiving Snackboxes, Roses Weep, June Williams, Alicat999, Soimobsessive, Holden


Special thanks to: Deb, Hopelsydreaming, Spaz141, Persia, LadyShiva, Alicia (blingblinglady12)


And Scifichick774, Greenstuff, Elizabeth Stump, Nocturnus, Rosmerta and Anon (whose remarks allowed me to fix some little lacks in the story).

More specific answers:

Spaz141 - Something apparently quite powerful happens between them and she can\'t really do a thing about it.... Well, I couldn\'t do a better summary. Thank you for the compliment.

Deb - So, it\'s kind of dark romanticism? Not sugar coated? Probably. But the first romantic writers were not very sugar coated fellows, after all. LOL Hope you like the conclusion of this little story since you have been a very regular and extensive reviewer. That was precious.

Hopelsydreaming - I love the spell that grown-up Snape put on Hermione--where did you come up with the idea? It came progressively. First, I thought Snape could not let her deal with a Legilimens without a bit of training but there was no time for that (in the story), and in fact, the idea that she may have to experience it and learn how to deal with it by herself was more appealing. But some information had to be kept secret at any price (the fact that she knew his older self, his destiny as a Death Eater etc.). At this point, I thought it would be ly thy that Snape would ensure these information were *locked*. So, even if Hermione loves the young boy, she is tied to the older Potions Master and to the present time by things she cannot reveal. You made Snape cry? Why? Because the only person who has shown him a bit of sympathy is leaving him. And I think he realizes that even if \"they meet again\" (as Hermione promises), it will never be the same.
I did not update before Friday but hey! Saturday is not bad either! Hope you like the conclusion.

Holden - I always promise myself I won\'t read any fan fiction until it\'s complete, just to save on sanity... *frowns* So you\'re part of these people who don\'t review WIP? *grin* Just kidding, I do it myself sometimes. So, because of this problem I -like every other Snape fangirl out there- must resort to squeeing and asking for a prompt update. Sorry, old habits die hard... LOL. I don\'t mind squeeing. Just hope you don\'t regret waiting for this update.

Lady Shiva - I have to wonder what effect one decidedly brief, yet powerful encounter will have on young Sev\'s future. Well, you had your answer, hope you\'re happy with it.

Alicat999 - I actually can\'t remember if I have reviewed this fic b4 or not? You haven\'t.
I am happy to say I think you have painted a realistic view of his character, with his physical and emotional suffering. Thank you very much for that.
But that\'s what makes our Severus so lovable (...) the emotional cripple that everybody wants to see healed and of course our brilliant Miss Granger, in my opinion, is the best suited for the job. Well... it could be a summary for this little story. Hope you like the conclusion.

Soimobsessive - Fantastic. Considering I don\'t like any smut... ??? Well, as you pointed it, this is adult fan fiction, but I happy you find it interesting enough to get over that... repulsion. *grin*

Betz (Elizabeth) - \"End on a downer\"? Sorry, but I\'m non native and I\'m not sure what this means, although it probably applies to this late chapter. BTW, in case it wasn\'t clear, I wasn\'t upset with your last comment (spell=convenient), I think it was quite fair, actually. Even if I\'ve been working on it and its meaning, it is a dramatic trick.

Greenstuff - I\'ve never read a time turner fic where Hermione met school-aged Sev. I think there are plenty, actually. I cannot remember the titles but I suppose the WIKTT guides would be happy to help. If you want to read more. I think Shagsthedustmop has one. Nocturnus might be able top yop you with that as well.

Nocturnus - About my last review, well, I\'m non native... Being non native too, I\'m very open-minded about my writing. So, it\'s fine with me! It seems that a time paradox is in order... Yes. Yes. Yes. Hope you like it.

Anon - I don\'t think Moody was \"Mad-Eye Moody\" yet.... True. I\'ve fixed that. Thank you very much.


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