Revenge of a Hermione Scorned.

A/N: Ok, this is dedicated to Rilla and to Nesscafe, because they reviewed so quickly to the last chapter, and because they are both amazing writers. Also to Shem, my mis mistress of the darkness who has been there for me through out this, and shall be a wonderful ruler of the southern hemisphere. More authors’ notes at the endyou you can get on with the story.

*

Is most delightful way to be woken up. Have never really understood it before, in fact, in previous times it was nothing more than a nuisance. But this morning am in no way upset to be woken by a throbbing erection prodding cheerfully into my lower back.

Must wake up like this more often.

Speaking of previous times, there was no way you would have found me happily sliding under the covers to take the afore mentioned throbbing erection in my mouth and sucking it with the same enthusiasm I usually reserve for a strawberry split on a hot summer’s day.

But then, on previous days I wasn’t waking up with a certain Severus Snape. It’s some time before I manage to stretch myself out properly, and push the tangled hair from my face, but who cares? Have had fab lazy morning shag with Severus after a long night of fab shagging, with intervals of, well, more fab shagging. Am reluctant to say have found soul mate in this potions master, but have certainly found shag mate. Have discovered playful and sensual side to him would never have guessed was there when I was a mere student. However, if I had known the man could shag the way he does, I would have certainly gotten myself into a detention with him as soon as I reached sixteen. Hmm. Wonder if school robes are still in trunk under bed? Must ask him if he would like detention with me later.

Right now though, am more than content to lie in his arms and revel in my new found sex drive, and inner sex goddess. Gone is Hermione Granger, Know It All Extraordinaire, say hello to the new improved, extremely wanton Hermione Granger.

Ginny and Chloe would be so proud of me.

Lazily he bows his head and nibbles on my nipple. Entangle fingers in his hair, and enjoy it.

‘So,’ he mumbles, ‘Am I getting revenge on you, or are you getting revenge on me?’

‘Um,’ bite lower lip and try to concentrate as nibbling becomes more of a gentle swirling with his tongue. ‘I suppose I am, or you are, or we both are… oh sod it.’

‘Sod it?’

I wrap my legs around his hips and drag him closer. ‘Sod it. Don’t care anymore.’

I kiss him eagerly, and then pause as something occurs to me. ‘So, will this be going towards my final grade?’

‘I may require another practical before I make that decision, Miss Granger,’

His voice is slightly mumbled, as it\'s slowly retreating under the sheets. Am about to lie back and think of England, or at least Snape… of course he is English, so therefore can be included in generalisation of England, when there is a tap at the window.

See Hedwig perched on sill.

Bugger. Bugger Harry. No. Wait. That’s been done plenty of times before. Mainly by Draco.

Reluctantly I untangle myself from Severus’s administrations. ‘I have to get it, otherwise next time she’ll tear me apart.’

He frowns, but watches as I scamper naked across the room. Bloody hell, it’s cold in these dungeons. As if offended by my naked state, Hedwig refuses to look at me as I remove the note, and only deigns to stare at me, or rather glare when she realises I have nothing to treat her with. Take some delight in closing window so quickly that she nearly falls off sill.

Huddle back into warmth of bed and Severus’s arms. Peeling open scroll, I read the words there.

‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’

I curse long and loud. I think I may have shocked Severus as he simply stares at me, for several moments with mouth hanging open before speaking.

‘Problem?’

‘Bloody Harry and Draco.’ I throw myself sulkily against the pillows. ‘Another one of their sodding dinner parties where they will try to set me up with yet another boring arsehole from the Ministry of Magic. Someone who’s only delights in life comes from cataloguing various cauldron shape and sizes.’

Severus bristles beside me. Am most touched by this, even if it is a subconscious gesture. ‘Someone like Percy Weasley, I suppose.’

Cringe as I think back to disastrous ‘date’ with Percy. Consisted of him staring at my boobs all night, and my consumption of an entire bottle of Bacardi out of sheer desperation. I don’t even like Bacardi. I think I vomited into his favourite cauldron.

‘I’m going to have to go,’ I mutter.

‘Why?’ He begins to nuzzle my neck, in most interesting way. ‘I could always write you a note excusing you from it…’

Appears there are advantages to shagging a teacher. ‘I’m not sure it quite works like that…’

I hesitate. Suddenly have plan. Wicked grin appears on my face. Severus notices it.

‘Sev,’ I purr into his ear, letting my breasts brush against his upper arm. I plan to appeal to both the Slytherin and the man within him at this point, ‘How would you like to help me get some revenge on a certain couple?’

His grin matches my own. ‘I’d be delighted. What do I have to do?’

I lightly skip out of his reach, and pull him out of bed. Not by the hand. Heading to the shower, still leading him astray, I smile over my shoulder. ‘We’ll have plenty of time to discuss that later.’

*

Draco and Harry loved giving dinner parties. It gave them some satisfaction to see their friends partnered up and happy. After all, Draco and Harry were happy, and therefore everyone else could only achieve the same happiness if they were coupled up.

They had shared a cottage in Hogsmeade for some time now, Harry apparating back and forth to London for his auror training, while Draco stayed at home and apparently was creative. He was now perfecting the corners on the linen table cloth that covered their dining room table. From the kitchen wafted in smells of a simple, but tasty pasta, which would be served with the correct wine. Oh how Harry and Draco loved these evenings. They were so, so, \'civilised\'.

Harry had been annoyed that Hermione had missed the last one. Was it so wrong that he simply wanted to see her happy with someone? He had hoped Ron might be the one, but apparently not. Hermione threatening to stick a broom up Ron’s arse had been the final clue to Harry that the relationship was not going to happen. This had been confirmed by Hermione’s follow up threat to repeat the procedure on Harry.

Things were looking up tonight. Harry stuck his head into the dining room, admiring Draco’s work on the table. They worked well together, he thought with an element of pride.

The tap at the window surprised them both. One of the school owls waited patiently for one of them to retrieve the note.

‘It’s from Hermione,’ Harry said in a surprised voice. ‘Saying, sorry its short notice, but she’s bringing someone with her.’

‘Damn her,’ Draco muttered, ‘It’s going to fuck up the seating plan.’

‘I’m sure you’ll cope, you always do,’ Harry said fondly, smoothing the white blond hair back.

‘So who is this guy?’ Draco asked as he pulled his wand from his pocket and attempted to make another place setting.

‘Don’t know. Maybe someone she met at uni. She sounds happier than usual though.’

‘Oh that’s good, because my entire life revolves around Hermione Granger’s happiness.’ Draco rolled his eyes. They may be civil to one another for Harry’s sake, but they weren’t quite bosom buddies quite yet.

It was nearly an hour later and the dinner party was in full swing. Hermione it seemed would be a little late, and the two empty seats stood out like sore thumbs. Harry was half way through a Quidditch anecdote which appeared to involve his distraction due to an opposing player’s thighs, a split pair of breeches, and a rogue snitch, when the door flew open.

A cold breeze swept through the cottage, the candles flickered, even Ginny, Ron, Remus and Chloe who were half expecting it, gasped.

Hermione swept easily in. ‘Hi, sorry I’m late, I was,’ she gave a long, lazy, decadent smile, most unlike any smile usually seen on Hermione’s face, ‘Delayed.’

There was almost something indecent about the way she drew out the word. In fact, despite her being fully dressed, there was something completely indecent about Hermione full stop. Ginny grinned at Chloe over her wine glass.

‘No, that’s fine, we’rst gst glad you’re here now,’ Harry stood up to welcome his friend. ‘And where is your guest…’

Harry’s voice trailed off. A feeling of dread swept across the entire room as the figure marched confidently in.

Draco managed to spit an entire glass of wine three feet across the table. Ron looked like he was about to faint, and Neville was attempting to slide under the table unnoticed. Either that or he had actually fainted.

‘This is my new mHermHermione said airily’m s’m sure you all know him.’

There was something extremely satisfied in her tone. Harry was a deathly shade of white.

Severus Snape surveyed the room.

‘Good evening all’ he said, in the manner he used to intimidate the rowdiest first year class.

He folded his arms into his heavy black robes, (he had promised Hermione he’d only wear them for his entrance.) ‘I’m sure we’re all going to have a pleasant evening. Aren’t we?’

Finite.

A/N: Well… its completed. My first Harry Potter fic, my first attempt at a first person POV, my first attempt at a Sev/Mione fic. Feeling strangely lost without it already. *sobs*

A huge thank you to everyone who reviewed this story and offered kind words for it. Am completely overwhelmed by it all, I never expected such a positive response, nor was I entirely sure my sense of humour would work with this fic. Apparently it did, and I had great fun writing this. Bit surprised it turned out to be 12 chapters long, as it was only meant to be three!

I’ve met some wonderful reviewers on here, read some wonderful stories, and have even been distracted away from LOTR long enough to write something. I do have another story planned, but as most of you can tell by the time taken between updates, I’ve been a bit busy lately. I’ll try not to wing and a prayer it next time though!

Thank you to Helena and Kate for your kind words as well about the last chapter. I gratefully accept your offer of unobtainable medication (spell check doesn’t like the other word!) but will pass on the chicken soup for now. Food is very bad at the moment!

Until next time, thank you to everyone, I’ve really enjoyed this, and I love you all… I want to thank my fiancé, my mother, my father, my cats, my postman, Alan Rickman, Sean Bean, the barkeep in my local… oh my… overblown Oscar Speech alert… my cue to run!

Mwah.

Daya.