Jaded

For Summery, warnings, spoilers and disclaimers see chapter one.

A/N: This chapter isn’t so much a plot motivator as an explanation on a few things I thought are important for later (or earlier…). Hope you won’t get too bored.


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Chapter Eleven: So tell me…

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When they entered the Room of Requirements Remus looked disappointed,

“What, no bed?” Harry punched him lightly on the arm and went over to the big cushy sofa in front of a large fireplace.

“Not today, one-track! Sit down.” Remus pouted fiercely to show his disappointment for not getting his way but eventually sat down.

“What are we doing here if we’re not going to shag?” He asked curiously,

“I wanted to ask you something.” Harry decided the best tactic was to ignore his boyfriend’s insistence on sex, at least for now. Remus pretended to be deflated for a full three seconds before he gave up on the pretence and listened, “It’s about Sirius, and why he hates Snape so much. I mean, why do all the marauders seem to make his life such hell. I know he’s not the nicest person around but still…”

“Ah, you want to hear the fascinating Saga known as ‘The War of Potions and Honour’,” Remus said with a smirk and Harry gave him a queer look, which Remus ignored, “Well, what you have to realize first of all is that the James Potter and Sirius Black you know now, are not the same boys that came here seven years ago. Growing up in a pure blooded families in the Magical World has a certain… behavioural patterns imbedded in a child,” Harry opened his mouth to ask Remus to get to the point but then he caught the faraway look in his boyfriend’s eyes and realized it was futile. He was just going to have to sit here and listening and regret not asking Lily the same question. “If you ask me, all the stuff about pure blood is crap, but apparently I’m not pure enough so no-one cares what I think. Anyway, Sirius and James were both raised in very ‘heavy duty’ pure blooded families, Sirius more than James of course and when they first came to Hogwarts, their world views were very much different.

“James and Sirius knew each other briefly from family functions before they got to Hogwarts but it was in the train when they really bonded. Now Snape, his only crime at that point was that he wanted to befriend them. But at the time Sirius and James were really snobbish, and I mean putting the S in snobbish kind of snobbish! And there was Snape, a poor half-blood who was daring to approach the royal cream of the crop of the Magical World…. What a goose.”

“Snape was just trying to befriend them and he got rejected?” Harry was trying to sum the speech in a nutshell. Remus nodded and launched back into his story with renewed glee,

“And that was only the beginning. During the sorting ceremony things went down fast, James being a Gryffindor wasn’t that much of a shock, since his father was one and his mother was Ravenclaw but Sirius, Sirius Black, son of the ‘Noble house of Black’ that produced nothing but Slytherins for the last three centuries was placed, horror of horrors in Gryffindor! And to complete Sirius’ humiliation- Snape, that half blooded nobody was placed in Slytherin!

“And then things got even worse when Sirius and James got invites to the ‘Slug Club’… Now I don’t know if you’ve heard of this fine institution in our school but basically if you have anything that Slughorn can use to his advantage it will get you an invite. Anyway, Sirius and James got invites based on their name and their families’ reputation. For a full month they felt like kings of the world until Snape showed up in the next club meeting…”

“Snape got invited to the ‘Slug Club’? Why?”

“He can do potions. Of course that made James and Sirius go completely round the bend because they only got there because of something they didn’t do and he got on his own merit and that irked James and Sirius more than you can believe. Long story short, they hate him ever since, can we have sex now?” Harry, whose mouth was open for a comment closed it, a little taken back with the shower of information and the rather abrupt end of it.

“Wait, you want to tell me that Sirius and James hate Snape so much because he’s good in potions? That doesn’t make since!” Remus shrugged and slid lower in his seat,

“I know, but you know what they say, boys will be boys…”

“But you’re not acting like a complete idiot because someone is half blood potions master in the making…” Harry argued,

“Yes, but you have to remember that I didn’t grow up in an up-tight pure blooded family… The Lupins never put too much stance on name and purity.” Remus said and Harry crossed his arms over his chest, he felt rubbish learning all that, at knowing that his father and godfather were putting so much effort into hating someone just because that someone was better as something than they were. It made him feel so bad knowing that he was the product of such a person. A small corner of his mind protested at this, claiming that James had married Lily Evans a muggle-born witch and Sirius had denounced his family for being too pure-blooded. But somehow, right now, it didn’t make Harry feel any better. He curled into himself and stared at the fire,

“Jaime, what’s wrong?” Remus slid his arm around Harry’s shoulders and was quite grateful that Harry snuggled to his side.

“I don’t know, it’s just so… stupid, so ridiculous to think that they hate each other so much, for nothing…”

“I know. But there’s nothing we can do about it. We can only hope that one day they would grow up.”

“Yeah, I suppose.” They sat there for a while, staring at the fire and listening to each other’s breathing, “Do you think they’re really ok with us being together?” Remus smiled and pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s hair,

“Yes, they are. I told you not to worry. Sirius just can’t stand not being in the centre of attention, it’s nothing personal against you. He’s just a regular attention whore.” Remus assured him and Harry smiled. All the stories he ever heard about his godfather were always about Sirius, not so much the marauders but Sirius. He was an attention whore…

“How did they find out you were gay?” He asked Remus who looked both amused and frustrated at Harry’s refusal to do anything other than talking. It was something that Remus wasn’t used to; talking with someone he wanted to bed.

“I told them.” He answered simply,

“Just like that?”

“Well, it was easier than having to endure their attempts of matching me up with random girls.” This felt strange, but not in a bad way. Truth be told, he actually liked talking to Harry.

“This is really weird you know,” He said pensively and Harry frowned in question, “Us sitting here and talking. I never had a casual conversation with someone I slept with before. At least not after I got them in bed that is…” Harry chuckled,

“You are such a tart! I bet you can’t even remember how many lovers you’ve had until now…”

“Oh, and you do?” Remus challenged back, feeling a little miffed at being called a tart, not because it wasn’t truth, but because it was Harry who was calling him one.

“Of course I do! Three isn’t a difficult number to remember!” Harry jutted his chin forward in defiance, trying not to come across as a prude,

“Three? You had sex with three people? Including me?” Harry nodded and Remus’ jaw dropped in shock, no bloody way! Jaime was fit and gorgeous; how the hell did he managed to stay off the market for so long?

“It’s not that simple, people tend to look through me and want me for things I’m not…” Harry said stiffly, wanting more than anything to confess it all but he couldn’t- always the cunfudus charm that was tying his tongue, “I don’t trust easily.” He finished lamely, and watched Remus lying back against the armrest of the sofa. He followed when Remus opened his arms and snuggled between them,

“Tell me.” Harry rubbed his cheek on Remus’ collarbone and sighed,

“It all started when I was fourteen. There was this girl that I thought was the prettiest thing in the world.”

“A girl?” Remus asked incredulously, “Ewwwww!” Harry chuckled let his fingers trace little pattern on Remus’ stomach, while Remus’ fingers were playing with his hair,

“Yes, well. It was a really embarrassing time for me. I even tried to ask her to the ball, what a blunder that was!” From the three years distance, the whole Cho Chang affair looked like a work of a complete moron, but at least it didn’t cause him to cringe with shame anymore.

“When I was in my fifth year we sort of dated, but she was in love with someone else and it turned out the only reason she ever went out with me was to pump me for information on him…”

“What a bitch! I say good riddance!” Harry pressed a kiss of gratitude to Remus’ chest and continued his story,

“Anyway, she sort of put me off sex for a while and it was the summer between fifth and sixth year when I told my best mate that I’m never going to kiss anyone else. As it turned out one of his brothers heard me and decided that he would restore my faith in sex.” Harry had to smile when the face of Fred Weasley came floating in his mind, determined to show Harry that just because Cho was a complete mess doesn’t mean everyone is,

“Did you sleep with him?”

“Nope, we just experimented… you know snogging and groping and one really awkward blowjob, that sort of thing. He was trying to decide what he was as well. It was nice.” Harry said with a fond smile. Fred was nice, and at least he didn’t pretend that what they were doing was anything more than ‘experimenting’… “He’s now engaged to a really beautiful girl.” And after the fiasco with Bill coming out of the closet and cancelling his engagement to Fleur Mrs. Weasley was just over the moon when Fred brought Angelina to meet her.

“Ok, so far you made it to the age of sixteen with nothing more than an awkward blowjob to show for it…” Remus said slowly, almost disappointed,

“Yes, well, on my sixth year I met who I thought was the love of my life… he was a year older than me and adorable. We went out for nearly four months,” Thinking of Kyle Woodsman was far less fond as far as Harry was concerned. He still couldn’t believe he was such a fool! “He was so nice and so adoring and I thought that I hit the bloody jackpot and found the perfect man. When I finally allowed him to take my virginity he was so sweet and loving…” Harry bit his lip as the bitter-sweet memories flashed again,

“What happened?” Remus asked quietly, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on Harry’s back, feeling the other teen tensing up,

“Two days later the entire school knew that I was a fag who liked to take it up the arse…” And that would have been tolerable if it was only the population of Hogwarts but such news of the Boy-Who-Lived could not be left out of the papers for long and the chaos that ensued after Rita Skeeter got hold of the story was quite spectacular. It was nearly a month before Harry dared to show his face anywhere outside classes and to think that the bastard Kyle was a bloody Hufflepuff!!!

“Oh, ouch. That sucks!” Remus cringed in sympathy. Being outed in front of your entire school is no laughing matter. Kids can be so cruel sometimes…

“You have no idea. I didn’t let anyone close to me after that. Only my friends were allowed within ten feet of me.”

“So how did you acquire bachelor number two?” Remus asked lightly, trying to get Harry out of the funk he was in because of some low life wanker who couldn’t even see that what he had was the best he’ll ever get. Oh well, his lose is my gain, he thought privately and smiled inwardly- a thought like that would have sent the old Remus climbing up the walls but it seems that without ever meaning to Jaime Harrison got under his skin and now there was no force that could remove him.

“Last summer my best friend and I decided to go to muggle London and get a tat, it seemed like a really cool idea at the time… but when we got to the tattoo parlour I completely chickened out,” Just hearing the buzzing of the needle made him feel feint, and bloody Hermione thought it was the most hilarious thing she ever saw! “In the end we both decided to get a naval piercing,” That is to say, Hermione paid dearly for her chick and he came out with something cool, even if it wasn’t a tat- because that bloody piercing was painful enough!

“Good call.” Harry grinned, yes; it seems that it was quite a good call after all.

“Anyway, when we left the piercing guy gave me his number and my friend pestered me for the rest of the afternoon to call him so I finally did, and we met that night in a club.”

“Ah, there is life in the boy after all!” Harry slapped Remus lightly on the chest for that comment before he continued his story,

“We spent that summer clubbing and drinking and fucking and it was brilliant, mostly because I wasn’t expecting anything from Kevin and he wasn’t expecting anything from me. And now I have you, end of story.” Remus sighed, if only his own story was that easy, “What about you?”

“Me? Oh, quite the standard story really- boy of fifteen sneaks out to clubs under his parents nose, boy gets the fuck of a life time; boy discovers he hates to bottom. Boy spends most of his summers cruising bars for twinks to fuck.” That was a standard story, Harry thought, but only if you’re Remus Lupin, or possibly in a BBC series…

“I see. And I stand by my original verdict- you’re a tart.” He crossed his arms over Remus’ chest and smiled at him sweetly. Remus rolled his eyes and jabbed Harry’s side in retaliation. Harry yelped and tried to catch Remus hands, but the werewolf wasn’t about to give up without a fight. Soon the two of them rolled off the sofa into the carpet laughing and teasing each other, and from there the way to bare skin was quite short.


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A/N: I probably would have called it a comic relief it was any funnier…

Next time, the return of the infamous Draco and a case of butterbeer.