A Good Boy
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
Views:
22,028
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Draco
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
18
Views:
22,028
Reviews:
96
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Harry Potter fandom, and I do not make money from this story.
Chapter Eleven - The Deal
A/N: Sorry about the late update guys! I'll try to update more often!
Chapter Eleven – The Deal
The next morning, Draco awoke feeling worse than ever. He had finally managed to fall asleep. But it had been a sleep haunted with nightmares, and Draco felt like he had not slept in years. But how he felt physically was nothing compared to how he felt inside. He knew a simple cut or two could not erase this. Nothing could make him forget about what had happened to him the night before. He could never face Snape again, knowing that he knew what kind of humiliation he had gone through. Knowing he had seen him.
He needed peace. He could not go on living like this. But he did not know what he could do. If he went to his room Harry would probably see it, and come running. And he could not face Harry. He felt certain his humiliation would shine through, and that Harry would immediately see him for what he was - pathetic and disgusting.
A sharp pain in his stomach reminded him he had not eaten anything yesterday. Still, he knew he would never get one bite down. But he did not really care. He never felt hungry anymore, and the stabs of pain were nothing at all to him. In fact, that might be the answer to everything. If he stopped eating all together, he would eventually die from starvation. But he could not wait for that long. He felt like he could barely stand taking even one more breath.
He was not sure what he would do, but he knew he had to get out of there. He went outside, hoping to breathe a little bit easier in the cold morning air, and went down to the lake. It looked so peaceful. It’s dark surface was calling to Draco, enticing him with promises of silence and darkness and peace of mind. Down there, he would not remember. He would not see his rapists’ dicks anymore, nor hear their voices or feel their hands on his body. It felt so very tempting. Thoughtfully, he removed his shoes and dipped his feet in the lake. The water was still freezing, and it felt like needles on his warm feet.
He did not have to wait long before his feet began to feel numb. He sighed from the relief it gave him. He wanted his whole body to feel like that. Slowly, he walked out into the lake, dipping his pants. He went further and further, until the water reached the middle of his thighs. He did not have time to savour the feeling of numbness this time, though, because someone snatched at his arm.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” It was Harry, and he looked really upset. Draco did not know how to answer that question. He knew the answer, but he did not think it would make Harry very happy. But it did not matter, because Harry did not wait for an answer. Instead, he was focusing all his energy to pull Draco out of the lake. He was not pleased with that, and continued to pull Draco behind him all the way up to Gryffindor tower. Draco did not object as he was pushed into an armchair in front of the fireplace. He just sat there staring into the fire, trying hard not to think of the night before. Of course, it was hopeless. Harry pulled up a chair next to him.
“What did he do to you?”
Draco looked up at him, shocked for an instant before remembering how much Harry actually knew. He looked back into the fireplace. “Nothing.”
“Oh, come on, it’s not too hard to see you’re feeling like shit.” Harry looked at him, apparently trying to force Draco to say something using only his eyes.
It did not work, and Draco continued to stare into the fire. This was not something he could tell Harry. He could not even live with himself knowing what they had done to him. How could Harry stand being near him if he knew?
“What has he done to you?”
“He really hasn’t done anything. I wasn’t lying.”
“Well something has happened. Please, tell me what. Was it because you stayed with me?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“How do you know? It was because of me, wasn’t it? Of fuck… I’m so sorry, Draco, I shouldn’t have–”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you to know. No matter what, I won’t tell you. I can’t.”
Harry looked very frustrated, mixed with anguish for thinking it was his fault. But it could not be helped. “I know so much already, what can possibly be so much worse?”
“You have no idea.”
“If it was true what you said about Snape not doing anything, then has anyone else done something to you?” Draco clenched his fists in frustration. He really could not do this. “That’s it, isn’t it? Who?”
“Harry, please leave this alone. I really can’t tell you. Didn’t you want to talk to me about something else? I can tell you why I’ve been avoiding you.”
Draco saw the heat rising in Harry’s cheeks. He was not happy with him. “It’s not important. I want to know what has happened to you to make you look like this!”
“It is important. I’ve been avoiding you because I’m scared.”
That seemed to throw Harry of for a second. “Scared? Of what?”
Draco thanked his lucky star for succeeding in turning Harry’s attention away. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you and I’m scared you’ll hurt me. The only ones I’ve ever cared about hurt me. And I’ve hurt you more than once in the last month. I can’t do it.”
“Of course you’re scared of getting hurt. I am, too. Everyone is. It’s natural when it comes to relationships.”
“But I can’t be in a relationship! I can’t afford to care about anyone else other than me. I need to do what is best for me.”
Harry stared at him, his eyes burning with grief. “Committing suicide?”
Draco sighed and looked down at his hands. Harry just did not understand. How could he? He had never felt this kind of humiliation and self-hatred. He had always been wanted and needed, by the entire Wizarding community.
“Please, Draco, talk to me.”
How had they returned to this subject? “How can I get you to understand? I can’t tell you.”
“Fine, I’ll make a deal. I wont try to make you tell me if you promise not to kill yourself.”
“Harry, I can’t do that. I can’t go on living like this.”
“Fine, then you’ll have to tell me.”
Tears filling up Draco’s eyes distorted the flames in the fireplace. “Why are you putting me in this position?”
“Because I won’t let you die! You mean too much to me. I can’t stop thinking about you. I could never forgive myself if I let you die.”
Draco blinked away the tears and looked at Harry. He probably should not have done that. The expression in Harry’s eyes made him want to cry. It was so full of compassion and sadness and what Draco could only interpret as yearning. He really meant what he said. He needed Draco. Draco was needed. It felt like a warm blanket wrapping itself around his cold heart. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he could live like this.
Without thinking about it, he leaned towards Harry and kissed him. It was like the first time, only better. Because this time neither one of them hesitated. Draco pulled away shortly after, not wanting to force himself on anyone. Even though it seemed like Harry did want this.
He did not have to wait long to get it confirmed – as soon as he pulled away Harry leaned in for another kiss. This time it was more urgent, like both of them had waited much too long for this. Draco felt so needed and wanted, and it only took him a second to know he could live like this. When Harry kissed him like that, he forgot about everything else but Harry. It took a few minutes before he pulled away again.
“Fine.”
Harry looked confused. Confused and aroused. He looked so adorable, Draco almost laughed. “Fine what?“
“It’s a deal.”
A/N:
VenustheGoddess: I'm very glad you enjoy it! And I'm really glad I made you hate Snape! Mwaha, everyone shall hate him! >8) And love Draco! And Harry! :D
Eros: Haha, love your little outburst. ;) That would indeed be lovely! Snape certainly deserves it. But there are so many if's.. If Mr. Malfoy finds out, If he doesn't know what's going on.. But we'll just have to see! I'm sure Mr Malfoy could do all kinds of horrible things if he wanted to. ^^
SilverLion: Haha, I wonder who would be nastiest. Me, or you. ;P
Tachimaru: Harry would look good in an armour, wouldn't he? And Snape can be the dragon. ^^ And Draco in his blonde hair would be the perfect damsel in distress!
mrequecky: Aaw, thank you so much! :D I really didn't expect actually touching anyone with my story. I was just glad people didn't hate it! ^^
Queen of the Darkness: Thank you! :D But even if Harry's not pleased, what can he do?
Dragon: Snape deserves way more nastier things! ;)
thrnbrooke: Sorry it took so long. But hope you liked it! :)
The next morning, Draco awoke feeling worse than ever. He had finally managed to fall asleep. But it had been a sleep haunted with nightmares, and Draco felt like he had not slept in years. But how he felt physically was nothing compared to how he felt inside. He knew a simple cut or two could not erase this. Nothing could make him forget about what had happened to him the night before. He could never face Snape again, knowing that he knew what kind of humiliation he had gone through. Knowing he had seen him.
He needed peace. He could not go on living like this. But he did not know what he could do. If he went to his room Harry would probably see it, and come running. And he could not face Harry. He felt certain his humiliation would shine through, and that Harry would immediately see him for what he was - pathetic and disgusting.
A sharp pain in his stomach reminded him he had not eaten anything yesterday. Still, he knew he would never get one bite down. But he did not really care. He never felt hungry anymore, and the stabs of pain were nothing at all to him. In fact, that might be the answer to everything. If he stopped eating all together, he would eventually die from starvation. But he could not wait for that long. He felt like he could barely stand taking even one more breath.
He was not sure what he would do, but he knew he had to get out of there. He went outside, hoping to breathe a little bit easier in the cold morning air, and went down to the lake. It looked so peaceful. It’s dark surface was calling to Draco, enticing him with promises of silence and darkness and peace of mind. Down there, he would not remember. He would not see his rapists’ dicks anymore, nor hear their voices or feel their hands on his body. It felt so very tempting. Thoughtfully, he removed his shoes and dipped his feet in the lake. The water was still freezing, and it felt like needles on his warm feet.
He did not have to wait long before his feet began to feel numb. He sighed from the relief it gave him. He wanted his whole body to feel like that. Slowly, he walked out into the lake, dipping his pants. He went further and further, until the water reached the middle of his thighs. He did not have time to savour the feeling of numbness this time, though, because someone snatched at his arm.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” It was Harry, and he looked really upset. Draco did not know how to answer that question. He knew the answer, but he did not think it would make Harry very happy. But it did not matter, because Harry did not wait for an answer. Instead, he was focusing all his energy to pull Draco out of the lake. He was not pleased with that, and continued to pull Draco behind him all the way up to Gryffindor tower. Draco did not object as he was pushed into an armchair in front of the fireplace. He just sat there staring into the fire, trying hard not to think of the night before. Of course, it was hopeless. Harry pulled up a chair next to him.
“What did he do to you?”
Draco looked up at him, shocked for an instant before remembering how much Harry actually knew. He looked back into the fireplace. “Nothing.”
“Oh, come on, it’s not too hard to see you’re feeling like shit.” Harry looked at him, apparently trying to force Draco to say something using only his eyes.
It did not work, and Draco continued to stare into the fire. This was not something he could tell Harry. He could not even live with himself knowing what they had done to him. How could Harry stand being near him if he knew?
“What has he done to you?”
“He really hasn’t done anything. I wasn’t lying.”
“Well something has happened. Please, tell me what. Was it because you stayed with me?”
“You don’t want to know.”
“How do you know? It was because of me, wasn’t it? Of fuck… I’m so sorry, Draco, I shouldn’t have–”
“It doesn’t matter. I don’t want you to know. No matter what, I won’t tell you. I can’t.”
Harry looked very frustrated, mixed with anguish for thinking it was his fault. But it could not be helped. “I know so much already, what can possibly be so much worse?”
“You have no idea.”
“If it was true what you said about Snape not doing anything, then has anyone else done something to you?” Draco clenched his fists in frustration. He really could not do this. “That’s it, isn’t it? Who?”
“Harry, please leave this alone. I really can’t tell you. Didn’t you want to talk to me about something else? I can tell you why I’ve been avoiding you.”
Draco saw the heat rising in Harry’s cheeks. He was not happy with him. “It’s not important. I want to know what has happened to you to make you look like this!”
“It is important. I’ve been avoiding you because I’m scared.”
That seemed to throw Harry of for a second. “Scared? Of what?”
Draco thanked his lucky star for succeeding in turning Harry’s attention away. “I’m scared I’ll hurt you and I’m scared you’ll hurt me. The only ones I’ve ever cared about hurt me. And I’ve hurt you more than once in the last month. I can’t do it.”
“Of course you’re scared of getting hurt. I am, too. Everyone is. It’s natural when it comes to relationships.”
“But I can’t be in a relationship! I can’t afford to care about anyone else other than me. I need to do what is best for me.”
Harry stared at him, his eyes burning with grief. “Committing suicide?”
Draco sighed and looked down at his hands. Harry just did not understand. How could he? He had never felt this kind of humiliation and self-hatred. He had always been wanted and needed, by the entire Wizarding community.
“Please, Draco, talk to me.”
How had they returned to this subject? “How can I get you to understand? I can’t tell you.”
“Fine, I’ll make a deal. I wont try to make you tell me if you promise not to kill yourself.”
“Harry, I can’t do that. I can’t go on living like this.”
“Fine, then you’ll have to tell me.”
Tears filling up Draco’s eyes distorted the flames in the fireplace. “Why are you putting me in this position?”
“Because I won’t let you die! You mean too much to me. I can’t stop thinking about you. I could never forgive myself if I let you die.”
Draco blinked away the tears and looked at Harry. He probably should not have done that. The expression in Harry’s eyes made him want to cry. It was so full of compassion and sadness and what Draco could only interpret as yearning. He really meant what he said. He needed Draco. Draco was needed. It felt like a warm blanket wrapping itself around his cold heart. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe he could live like this.
Without thinking about it, he leaned towards Harry and kissed him. It was like the first time, only better. Because this time neither one of them hesitated. Draco pulled away shortly after, not wanting to force himself on anyone. Even though it seemed like Harry did want this.
He did not have to wait long to get it confirmed – as soon as he pulled away Harry leaned in for another kiss. This time it was more urgent, like both of them had waited much too long for this. Draco felt so needed and wanted, and it only took him a second to know he could live like this. When Harry kissed him like that, he forgot about everything else but Harry. It took a few minutes before he pulled away again.
“Fine.”
Harry looked confused. Confused and aroused. He looked so adorable, Draco almost laughed. “Fine what?“
“It’s a deal.”
A/N:
VenustheGoddess: I'm very glad you enjoy it! And I'm really glad I made you hate Snape! Mwaha, everyone shall hate him! >8) And love Draco! And Harry! :D
Eros: Haha, love your little outburst. ;) That would indeed be lovely! Snape certainly deserves it. But there are so many if's.. If Mr. Malfoy finds out, If he doesn't know what's going on.. But we'll just have to see! I'm sure Mr Malfoy could do all kinds of horrible things if he wanted to. ^^
SilverLion: Haha, I wonder who would be nastiest. Me, or you. ;P
Tachimaru: Harry would look good in an armour, wouldn't he? And Snape can be the dragon. ^^ And Draco in his blonde hair would be the perfect damsel in distress!
mrequecky: Aaw, thank you so much! :D I really didn't expect actually touching anyone with my story. I was just glad people didn't hate it! ^^
Queen of the Darkness: Thank you! :D But even if Harry's not pleased, what can he do?
Dragon: Snape deserves way more nastier things! ;)
thrnbrooke: Sorry it took so long. But hope you liked it! :)