It Was Only A Kiss!

Fuck! Yeah, sorry! If anyones reading this, apologies. I'm posting a few chappies tonight to make up for my neglect. 'kay?

Chapter Ten

Several weeks past and suddenly the Christmas holidays were upon them. Peter was going home - ‘big frigging family Christmas. Boring as hell!’ but James had been planning to stay at Hogwarts with Remus and Sirius until he received an owl from his mother saying his father was ill and he had to come home to help out. Dumbledore gave him permission to leave a day early and he Flooed home, looking a little more concerned than his usual bravado suggested.
Peter left the next day with a dark ‘hope you have more fun than I will’ to the two remaining Marauders who sat on their respective beds in a bit of a funk.

‘What do you want to do, Pads?’ Remus asked the brooding brunette.

‘Dunno,' Sirius shrugged, staring down at his ground with apparent rapt fascination. 'Go for a walk?’

Remus nodded and stood up. ‘Mmm, alright.’

They rugged up and walked down the staircases in silence. They got all the way to the lake, standing on the stony shore and looking out over the frozen, glassy surface before Remus spoke.

‘James’ dad will be alright, Padfoot.'

Sirius’ jaw clenched when he heard the soft reassurance and he closed his slate-grey eyes. He didn’t know if the fact Remus knew exactly what he was thinking irritated him or whether he was pleased the werewolf knew him so well.

‘He’s not getting any younger. I just...' He shook his head. 'They took me in, Moony. They let me stay with them for a year before I found my own place... They didn’t have to, but they did and they treated me like a son. I feel like...’

He shrugged, not sure if he would sound incredibly selfish if he voiced his thoughts.

‘...like you want to be there but you aren’t sure if you should be?’

Sirius let out a disbelieving breath and shook his head in wonder.‘How do you do that? How do you know exactly what I’m thinking?’

Remus smiled an enigmatic smile and just said, ‘Lucky guess, perhaps.’

‘Bullshit.’

Remus’ smile broadened, but he said nothing, waiting for Sirius to get out everything he needed to, knowing it would drive the other boy mad if he kept his concerns and fears bottled up.

‘James is their son. I’m just the mutt they took in off the street. I don’t have the right to be there if he gets ill. That‘s time for family...’

‘It takes more than blood to make a family, Sirius,' said Remus firmly. 'You know that better than anyone. Mr and Mrs Potter love you. They probably just want James to come home to help out. He‘ll come back complaining that he had to work his arse off.‘

Sirius nodded, but still looked unconvinced and Remus tried one more time.

‘If James’ dad is really ill, they’ll call for you, Pads. They’ll want you there, I know it. They love you.’

Sirius sucked his bottom lip into his mouth, staring at the ground intently until he was sure he wouldn‘t burst into grateful tears. There was a very good reason Remus was the one everyone came to when they needed to talk through their problems. There was something very comforting and soothing about his soft reassurances.

Remus saw Sirius’ efforts to hold back his tears and hesitated a moment before he brushed his hand lightly against the other boy‘s; tentatively, not sure the gesture would be welcome. But Sirius grabbed hold of the offered hand like a life preserver and they stood silently by the lake, gripping each other tight.

~*~*~

After a quiet and somewhat introspective day, Sirius disappeared behind his curtain with a quiet ‘goodnight’ early that evening, leaving Remus to his own devices. Remus tried to read for a while, but his mind kept wandering to something that had been bothering him for weeks.

He and Sirius had been ‘helping each other out’ for around six weeks now. Not every night - they weren’t sex-crazed animals - but Sirius did creep into his bed at least every second night. Sometimes they talked for a while first, sometimes they were pulling at each others’ clothing almost before the curtains closed, but every single time, it was hot and hungry and they were both a little surprised by how easily they had become comfortable with the change in their friendship.

But to Remus’ chagrin, their frantic thrusting, that delicious friction of their cocks clashing through their underwear, was rapidly becoming not nearly enough for either of them. Sirius’ hands had started wandering - ‘accidentally’ brushing up against Remus’ groin and Remus himself found his hand gripping Sirius’ hip, desperately trying to resist slipping it between them to grasp the hard flesh that bought him so much pleasure.

The growing temptation to go further was what was worrying Remus. He and Sirius had agreed: this was okay, this was just two mates mucking about. If they actually touched each other, if they let this...thing grow, where did they draw the line?

Hand jobs?

Blow jobs?

Sex?

A pleasurable shiver ran through him at the thought of having sex with Sirius. It was something he had been having very vivid dreams about lately - Sirius touching him, sucking him, fucking him, and Remus eagerly reciprocating - and it scared him to death that this mad, crazy situation could possibly escalate until his dreams became reality...and until he could no longer deny that he fancied boys.

Well, one boy.

His hands trembled, making the book he was holding shake, and he put the tome on his side table, flicking his wand and muttering, ‘Nox.’

Sirius had been on dates with a few girls since they began their arrangement, but he hadn’t shagged any of them - well, he told Remus he hadn’t shagged any of them - a fact Remus and the wolf (who it seemed was ludicrously possessive) were far too pleased about. Remus himself hadn’t dated at all - nor had he even thought about being with a girl in any sexual way. The only body that dominated his dreams was Sirius’ and Remus was beginning to suspect that any remaining traces of heterosexuality may be rapidly slipping from his grasp.

If I want to fuck Sirius, that makes me gay, right?

His heavy sigh hung in the air. He didn’t want to be gay. Werewolf was bad enough but gay werewolf? Merlin, what chance did he stand then? But despite all his concerns, his fears that yet again, he was an aberration, there was no way he was going to tell Sirius that their arrangement was over. He craved their time together far too much to give it up.

That was what scared him most of all.

'Remus? You still awake?’

Remus sat up at the whispered words, parting his curtains and peering through the semi-dark at his friend’s bed which was bathed in soft silver light from the moon. Sirius’ crimson hangings were partially open and he was laying on his side, staring over at him.

‘Yeah, I‘m awake,' Remus replied quietly. 'You want to talk, Pads?’

There was a slight hesitation then the soft confirmation wafted across the space between their beds. ‘If you don't mind.’

Remus swung his legs over the side of his bed and stood up, swearing when the freezing stone floor immediately burnt his bare feet. He quickly closed the gap between their beds, almost prancing to avoid his feet touching the ground for a prolonged period.

‘Shove over,' he said urgently as he reached Sirius' bed. 'Quick! My feet are about to fall off!’

Sirius chuckled, but shuffled over, pulling the blankets back so Remus could get underneath them. The brown-haired boy sighed in relief when his feet hit a warm spot and he yanked the bedclothes up to his chin.

Sirius watched him in amusement. ‘It’s not that cold.’

Remus glared at him, blanket pulled up to his nose. ‘I notice you didn’t get out of your bed, hero.’

‘Well, I figured it was your turn to come to mine,’Sirius retorted, trying to tug the blanket away from Remus' face.

Remus resisted, worming further under the covers, then he made a face and sat up. ‘There is a reason you prefer my bed, you know. Less...crunchy bits.’ He brushed at the mattress with the back of his hand.

‘Hey, it’s only a few crumbs…’

‘Which all seem to be crawling into my pants.’

‘Lucky crumbs,' Sirius grinned, sliding a hand across Remus' belly and suddenly, Remus wasn't concerned with the crumbs in the bed.

‘Pervert.’

‘Princess.’

Remus let out a breathe of laughter then, when Sirius fingers crept under his pyjama top, he said, ‘Enough with the foreplay. Just shut up and snog me, would you, Padfoot?’

Sirius raised an eyebrow and took his hand off Remus' stomach. ‘No,' he said in a mock sulk. 'I don’t know if I’m in the mood after you called me…’

Sirius’ words were cut off as Remus’ lips landed on his and they both groaned, falling back onto the mattress. Their lip lock started off the same as it usually did: hot and fierce snogging as they pulled each others clothes off and twisted and turned, battling to see who would end up on top. Tonight, though, when Sirius rolled Remus over onto his back, he pulled away from the werewolf's eager lips and stared down at him with a little frown.

‘What?’ Remus panted the word out, hands still carding through Sirius’ hair as the other boy gazed down at him in contemplation. Remus could see every crease in the Animagus' brow and was about to repeat himself when he realised why Sirius had stopped. His breath caught and he stared up at Sirius with wide eyes.

They hadn’t been as careful with the curtains tonight, knowing no one else was here, and in the moonlight that streamed in through the window next to Sirius‘ bed, they could see each others faces clearly. Their late night interactions were normally carried out in complete blackness. He’d never been able to see expression on Sirius’ face as they kissed, as they moved against each other, as they came; the othe boy was always just a vague shadow. Remus wasn’t sure if he liked this change, if he liked the idea that every reaction, every nuance, every scar and imperfection would be seen by those burning grey eyes.

Remus could sense that Sirius was pondering the same thing and offered a solution.

‘I could close the curtain...’

‘No.’

Sirius’ voice sounded a little odd, strangled, and he leaned forward and kissed Remus softly, his eyes fixed on the werewolf’s blue orbs. Remus couldn’t breathe. This was different, this was intense, and it made what they were doing real.

What followed was not a continuation of their previous frantic snogging and tearing at each other’s clothing.

It was kissing.

Real kissing.

Kissing the way they had both done with girls.

It was a soft, even tender, exploration of each other’s mouths and, when their lungs were screaming for air, Sirius pressed his lips to Remus’ neck - venturing into unchartered waters.

Remus swallowed hard, chest tight with anticipation and need and a little fear. They hadn’t done this before, hadn’t made this more than snogging and thrusting and coming...primal and primitive and strangely safe. This...this was foreplay, this is what lovers did, and suddenly, this wasn’t safe anymore.

They both felt as though they were standing on the precipice - trying to decide if they were going to turn back or dive over the edge. Sirius’ lips worked their way down Remus' neck and when the dark-haired boy licked the hollow of his throat, Remus whimpered softly, a shudder shaking his body.

‘Remus?’

Sirius’ voice was low and rough and made Remus’ skin break out in goose bumps.

‘S’alright.’

‘Want to stop? We don’t have to…’

‘Don’t stop.’

Remus heard the Animagus draw in a loud, shaking breath then he shifted, sliding his legs between Remus’ and both boys moaned as their now-throbbing cocks made electric contact. Sirius' mouth moved over Remus' neck, his tongue drawing moist patterns on the soap-scented skin. Sirius licked at Remus' ear lobe and flexed his hips, making the other boy cry out. Sirius smiled at his reaction and nipped at the obviously sensitive lobe, getting another, softer cry as a reward.

'Sirius? Please?'

Remus arched his body, his hands gripping Sirius' hips as he tried to encourage the other boy to just move. Sirius groaned then shifted his lips back to Remus' mouth, kissing him slow and deep as they rocked against each other. Little whines of pleasure escaped from them both and their languid, almost lazy pace picked up as hips and mouths grew hungry for more. Both were shaking uncontrollably, pushing each other closer to the end then Sirius let out a frustrated growl.

‘Fuck! Remus, I need...more. I need… Shit!’

Sirius threw himself down on his back next to Remus and his hands moved to his boxers. Before Remus could say a word, the brunette was stripping his underwear off, his hand closing around his cock and a relieved groan slipping from his lips as he pumped once, twice. Breathing heavily, he looked over at Remus who was trying not to watch, trying not to want to watch.

Grey eyes fell to the tent in Remus’ boxers then shifted back to the werewolf's face, his voice harsh as he whispered the order,‘Take your pants off.’

Remus must have looked uncertain because Sirius leaned over and kissed him hard before he added, ‘We don’t have to touch each other, but I need something else. I need more tonight.'

Sirius hesitated then added softly, 'And...I want to see you.’

Remus was struggling for breath, his head spinning, then, almost without him even realising they were moving, his hands were tugging down his boxers and tossing them off the bed. He could see Sirius shaking as their eyes ran over each other, and knew he was trembling just as badly. Remus felt the other boy’s hot gaze on his chest and hunched his shoulders a little, instinctively trying to hide the scars.

‘Don’t.’

A hand flattened in the centre of his chest and Sirius whispered,‘I’ve seen them before, Remus. It’s okay.’

The hand trailed down to his stomach, following the progression of a particularly long scar, and Sirius’ little finger came perilously close to the tip of Remus’ weeping cock. The brown-haired boy sucked in a shuddering breath and Sirius’ eyes met his; the question there making Remus’ body throb with need. His head was nodding before his mind could debate the pros and cons then his brain shut down completely as Sirius’ warm hand closed around his shaft.

‘Fucking hell!’

Sirius chuckled at the other boy's breathless reaction then started to move his hand experimentally, making Remus hiss and grip the sheet under him as he closed his eyes tight. Sirius’ hand was different to his own - calluses in different places, his grip was unfamiliar as was his pace, his fingers fitted on him a little awkwardly but - Merlin - it felt good!

An elbow dug into his ribs and he looked down to see Sirius watching his hands as he pumped both their erections, his ragged breathing loud in the air. As if he sensed Remus watching, his head raised and by the silvery moonlight, Remus could see the desire and need in those grey orbs and knew it was echoed in his own. He reached out and stilled the hand that was working Sirius’ cock.

‘I’ll do it.’

‘M…Moony…’

‘I want to do it.’

Sirius released his shaft and Remus turned, laying on his side facing his friend as Sirius was doing, and wrapped his hand around Sirius' thick length before he could change his mind.

The experience of wanking someone else felt as foreign as the unfamiliar hand on him, but it was about as far from unpleasant as you could get and within a minute, their inhibitions had been cast aside and they were fisting each other enthusiastically, wriggling and thrusting under the other boys’ ministrations. Sirius thrust his hips forward and his cock hit Remus', their sticky heads dragging over each other deliciously.

‘Oh!’

He stopped and Remus grunted in objection, the lusty wolf well and truly ruling him now.

‘Shit, Padfoot! I’m close - what the fuck are you stopping for?’

Sirius didn’t answer, but wriggled closer before reaching down between them, grasping both their dicks and pressing the organs together. Remus' eyes widened as the hot flesh slid and slipped together.

'Oh!'

Sirius thrust his hips and they both exhaled sharply, their bodies jerking in response to the stimulation. As if it were choreographed, they each wrapped a hand around their side by side cocks and stroked, quickly finding a rhythm together and once they’d set the pace, Remus attacked Sirius’ mouth again with hungry, biting kisses.

So it was kissing and stroking and almost simultaneous releases that marked Remus’ private revelation that, yes indeed, fate really was so cruel as to create a gay werewolf.

TBC...