The Hidden Life

Title: The Hidden Life
Author: mtranc3
Rating: R
Spoilers: All six books
Summary: Sirius, Lucius, and the secret between. Pairings: Lucius Malfoy/Sirius Black, James Potter/Sirius Black, James Potter/Lily Evans, Severus Snape/Sirius Black
Warnings: Slash, Unbeta'd
Author's notes: One of my favourite pairings in HP fandom is Lucius/Sirius, one that is unfortunately not very popular, so at the lack of related fic I've decided to write Sirius/Lucius myself, to satiate my cravings. It's kind of experimental, because I've only written (and mostly read) Harry/Draco, and I don't really know how exactly it will proceed, but I thought I'd give this partially formed plot-bunny a chance.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling, no profit is being made. The title of this chapter comes from a film called "Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence".

A/N: I know this chapter took longer than usual, but I come bearing gifts: I've made a Sirius/James drawing, you can find the link to it in my profile. Also, this chapter assumes many things, one of them being that Andromeda Black /Tonks lives near Diagon Alley, for which there is no evidence in the books. I try to keep this fic as canon as possible (ahem, well, excluding the L/S part...), so you'll excuse the use of this small artistic licence on my part.

Chapter 11: Merry Christmas Sirius Black 9th December 1976

"Sirius!"

A pair of dragon-hide gloves flapped Sirius on the face. He rubbed his nose, glaring at James. "And you call yourself a Head-Boy, you first-year?"

James fell into step with him and gestured in the air with his hands "And here I am, looking out for you, you ungrateful mutt... well, let me remind you that we're replanting the nightshades in Herbology today."

Sirius made a painful grimace, and put the gloves in his pocket. "Cheers, mate."

"What would you ever do without me...?" "Remus would probably fetched them for me" he said with a wink.

"Yes, but Remus would bite you head off for neglecting them, and then proceed to lecture you about the harmful effects effects of Belladonna... Don't we all serve at your feet, Sirius Black?"
Sirius let out a bark-like laughter at that, and pushed James playfully.

"Oh, hey.." James said, sobering up, and pulled Sirius over to a corner.

"I didn't have a chance to tell you sooner, but I asked Lily to stay over for Christmas... you don't mind, do you?" he asked nervously.

Sirius kicked his feet on the wall behind him and straightened up. "Don't be daft, why would I mind? Besides, it's not my house, it is?" At James protesting snort, he amended, "I meant that of course you can invite anyone you want... I forgot to tell you that I'm not coming for the holidays anyway, so it's just as well."

He made to move, but James pushed him back "What do you mean you're not coming? Mum will have a fit!"

Sirius smiled; James' mother had a soft spot for his antics.

"I got an owl from Andromeda --"

"When?" James asked suspiciously.

"Two days ago, you were off to that meeting... anyway, she's asked me to stay with them for the holidays, it's been almost 5 years since I last saw her."

"But..." James run a hand through his hair, trying to come up with an objection, but Sirius' smile was steely and impenetrable "are you sure?"

Sirius nodded, a few locks falling on his forehead, shielding his eyes. "I want to see what the black sheep of the family has been up to. And I have a new little cousin I haven't met yet..."

James grinned at him "I thought you were the black sheep."

"Ah, we have many black sheep in the family, it goes with the name."

They left the corner and slowly made their way outside, towards Greenhouse #4, prolonging the time before the inevitable lesson. James stopped Sirius a second time, and asked with a casual smile, that Sirius knew him well-enough to see it was covering for nervousness "You'll take the mirror with you?"

"Miss me, won't you?" he joked, and then more seriously: "Don't be a git, of course I'll take it."

And his smile was so easy, that the first day of the Christmas break, when they had all said their goodbyes and Sirius had left with the other students for Hogsmeade to get the Express, and James had gone upstairs to pack (the family carriage would come for him and Lily later in the day), he wondered when did he start believing Sirius' easy smiles, because the mirror laid atop Sirius' trunk, forgotten, or even worse, left there on purpose.

----


It had been long since Sirius had last visited Muggle London, that it took him a while to figure out how to go from King's Cross station to Charring Cross Road and the Leaky Cauldron, but he managed. He didn't really make sense of the ridiculous notes that Muggles called money (a wizarding prejudice he couldn't shake off), but he made perfect sense of their clothing, which suited him very well indeed (even if he was the only one to attest to it).

He was dressed in a long moleskin overcoat, leather flared-trousers, a knitted tunic a bit open on the front, duffel bag in one hand, cigarette in the other, and if he was turning heads it wasn't because he had somehow mixed up the clothing items, like many Wizards so often did.

He made his way through the dingy pub, and to the brick wall that led to Diagon Alley, and even though the reason he found himself there was because James had invited Lily (and Sirius didn't want to spent Christmas with bile at the back of his throat - he loved James and tolerated Lily well-enough, and neither of them deserved it), he couldn't help feeling as if he was on an exciting adventure.

It had been a good thing that Andromeda replied that they'd be happy to have him over, when he had hastily sent her a letter that day after Herbology, because otherwise he'd be spending Christmas in the streets.

Andromeda, Ted and Sirius' new cousin, a toddler named Nymphadora, lived in a small, semi-detached house, in a street right off Diagon Alley. It had a front yard, and a garden at the back, and even though Andromeda called it 'shabby' (it was considered her family home), Sirius found it rather comfortable. He'd never met Ted before, but he could now understand why Andromeda turned her back on her family and fortune for him; Ted was a handsome man, but more importantly, he had a very kind and generous nature, and a sharp sense of humour. As an Irishman, he also had a great aptness for drink, as Sirius discovered the first night of his visit, when he was introduced to Ogden's, a particularly strong brand of Firewhisky, which Sirius took to very enthusiastically. Andromeda had to cast two Sobrietus spells, just so that he could stand on his legs the following morning.

Andromeda herself, was looking marvellous. She had never been as beautiful and graceful as Narcissa, or possess the same imperial good looks as Bellatrix did, but maternity suited her very well, and Sirius never recalled seeing her so glowing before. Nymphadora had been a another pleasant surprise; Sirius noted the pink fuzz on her head right away, and Andromeda had explained that when they took her for examination, the first time her hair changed colour, the specialists in St. Mungo's said that she was most likely a Metamorphmagus, meaning she would be able to change her appearance at will. Sirius, who loved anything that had to do with transfiguration and metamorphosis, was immensely intrigued.

Therefore, he was in high spirits, when his headache had subsided later in the day, and he'd taken off for a small stroll in Diagon Alley to look at the Quidditch store. His good mood was abruptly shuttered though, when he was violently hauled to a narrow street between two buildings, and slammed to the wall next to a rubbish bin.

The hit left him disoriented for a moment; he wanted to reach for his wand but his hand wouldn't obey him.

"You don't need that Black" he heard the hooded figure whisper, and recognized the smirk, inwardly breathing a sigh of relief; at least it wasn't a stray wizard from Knockturn Alley, though Lucius Malfoy meant all sorts of trouble as well.

"Following me, Lucius?" he said snidely, because he knew it would annoy him; it was all part of their little game afterall.

"Don't flatter yourself, cousin, I simply happened to receive word of your visit to the other deviant in your family..."

"And you also happened to be in Diagon Alley at this very moment, didn't you?"

Lucius didn't answer but moved closer, pinning Sirius to the wall, and kicked his legs apart. He made to grab Sirius' arms, but Sirius was too quick for him; he caught Lucius' wrists in one hand and brought his hood down with the other.

"You know very well I cannot be seen in a public place like that" Lucius said slowly, but his eyes betrayed his anger. Sirius let his hands free and Lucius pulled the hood over his head once again. His hair was tied back by a ribbon in its customary fashion, but a few strands had escaped, spilling out of the hood.

"What do you want Lucius? I don't socialize with your lot any more." Sirius asked in what he hoped was a bored manner.

Lucius gave him a leering look "I recall you socializing just fine the last time we met..."

"Ah, that..." Sirius smiled, and almost had half a mind shack up with Lucius somewhere, and wipe that smirk off his face with his mouth, but their game had to end; it was something both of them knew from the beginning.

"As pleasant as our... meetings have been, I'm afraid they will have to end here" he said slowly and then dropped the indifferent act and continued in an earnest voice: "Soon I'll be out of school, and hopefully into Auror training, and people like you will be the ones I'll be after..."

"Are you accusing me of something, Black?" Lucius asked dangerously. Sirius didn't need to see his eyes to know they'd be almost glassy in their coldness.

"You know very well what I'm talking about, and don't think for a second that I agree with what you stand for, what you believe in, just because I..." he trailed off and Lucius brought their heads close together, so close, that Sirius could probably count his pale eyelashes.

"Just because you let me put my cock up your arse, is that what you meant to say?"

His eyes flashed with hatred, but Lucius went on: "You don't know the first thing about me, and you know nothing about the world out here; you're just a child who's rebelling against his own self, that's what you are. Tell me Black, do you honestly believe in anything?"

Sirius looked at him straight in the eyes, and for a moment Lucius seemed so foreign, so distant, as if he was the centre of all the things Sirius hated from his past, his environment, his family, that a wave of nausea overtook him. He pushed Lucius wearily off, and staggered towards the main road.

"I do believe in something" he muttered without turning back "the truth within me..."

He wasn't sure if Lucius had hear him, or even if he wanted to Lucius to hear, so he kept on walking. He would never know that Lucius had heard every word, and that he had stayed in that alleyway long after Sirius had left.

TBC

End of part I.


A/N 2: This was the obligatory 'break-up' part, but never fear! There'll be a 'make-up' in the future. Also, this is end of part one, meaning the end of the Hogwarts years. Anyway, let me know your thoughts!