In Want of a Child
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
26,589
Reviews:
45
Recommended:
3
Currently Reading:
1
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male › Harry/Snape
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
14
Views:
26,589
Reviews:
45
Recommended:
3
Currently Reading:
1
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Secrets in the Chamber
Chapter 12:
Secrets in the Chamber
By Moon of the Sea
Beta: Ari
***
A week later found Harry walking into Severus’ quarters. He was amazed to see Snape in a t-shirt and tight jeans.
“You did say dress casual did you not?” said Severus with a bit of discomfort at Harry’s insistent stare.
“You look brilliant. I don’t think I will be able to leave without giving you a thorough shag.”
“I believe that tradition calls for the date first then the shagging,” Snape smirked.
“Oh, I see. You are going to make me work for it,” he winked with an impish smile.
Trying to ignore Harry’s innuendoes, he decided to change the subject. “So who are we shocking today? I simply can’t imagine who is left.”
“Nope. Not visiting anyone. Today it is only you and I.”
“That will be a first. If this is so, I do not see why we cannot alter the order of events. We may indulge if no one is waiting for us.”
Harry chuckled. “No. No one is waiting for us but we really should be going. I brought my broom with me. It’s outside your door. So we can go now.”
“Broom? You are taking me on a date on your broom. I am sorry Mr. Potter but I do not do brooms. I am quite capable of Apparating.”
“I am sure you are. But, to the best of my knowledge NO ONE can Apparate in Hogwarts. If you wish I can fire call Hermione and she will explain why.”
“Mr. Potter, I know why. Are you telling me that we will not be leaving Hogwart’s grounds?”
“We are not even leaving the castle,” he said as one that has the upper hand.
Snape took a deep breath, “I will play along. Harry, where are we going?”
“Severus, we are going to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom,” he said trying not to laugh at Snape’s expression.
“Why would that surprise me? We are talking about the famous Harry Potter. He never does what is expected of him. Why would I even dream of going to a restaurant or on a nice picnic? No I get to go to a girl’s loo.”
Harry could not hold back his laughter, “Severus I love your sense of humor.”
“That is nice; considering I did not know I had one.”
“I suggest you get that little field bag of yours. The one you use to gather your potion ingredients.”
“Harry, I really do not wish to harvest ingredients found in a loo.”
“Severus, what have I told you about trusting me?”
Snape turned on his heels and went to get the bag.
“Ready?” asked Harry when Severus came back with the leather bag.
“I am as ready as can be expected. Lead the way.”
Harry grabbed his broom on his way out. Soon they reached Myrtle’s bathroom and Harry was relieved that she was not there. He stood in front of the sink and spoke in Parseltongue. Snape looked at him in amazement. He was still staring at Harry when the chamber opened. Harry mounted his broom and motioned to Severus to hop on.
As Severus did so he purred, “Remind me to show you how turned on I get when you speak in Parseltongue.”
“Oh I will,” said Harry, zooming down into the chamber. Once there they dismounted in front of the Basilisk’s corpse. Severus looked at the giant corpse in amazement.
“Harry, is this the Basilisk that you killed in your second year?” he asked, not being able to take his eyes off the corpse. Harry nodded. “Harry, you were a child.” Harry simply smiled. Snape felt the need to embrace Harry; to protect Harry. So he did.
Harry welcomed the embrace. He buried his face in Severus’ neck and began to speak in a very low, soft voice. “Severus, I need to speak but I can’t be interrupted. Will you please just listen?”
“Harry, I am listening.”
“I was afraid. I was very scared when I was running from the basilisk, when I was battling with it. I thought I would never get out of here alive; that I would never see my friends. That I would never grow up,” he took a deep breath and continued. “I was sometimes scared as a child; I would wake up in the middle of the night with bad dreams and I had no one to reassure me that it would be ok. Instead of words of comfort, I would get Uncle Vernon screaming at me and telling me to shut it and go back to sleep. I was scared when they would lock the door to my cupboard because it was so dark and lonely in there. I was scared when I did not know when I would get fed. I would dread dying alone of hunger in Aunt Petunia’s house and smelling up the place. I was scared when I was trying to save the Sorcerer’s Stone from Quirrell; when the dementors entered the train and I heard my mum cry.” Here Snape hugged him a little tighter. “I was so scared when Sirius died leaving me so alone with no family that cared for me.”
Snape lifted Harry’s chin and placed a soft chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. Tenderly he placed Harry’s head back on his shoulders. “I was scared when Dumbledore left Hogwarts leaving us alone with Umbridge. I was afraid when he died on the tower and I’d, yet again, lost someone dear to my heart. Was I to lose everything that was dear to me? I was so lost; so afraid.
Then I had to walk into the forest where Voldemort was waiting to kill me. I knew I had to do it. I was prepared, but Severus I was afraid.” Severus wiped Harry’s tears and kissed him in the forehead. “Yet, do you know what has been the scariest thing I have ever had to do?” he paused. “Bringing you down here and baring my soul to you. Not knowing if you will still want me now that you know all my fears, now that you know who I really am behind the face of the brave Gryffindor.”
Severus tightened his hold on Harry and took a deep breath. He waited to make sure that Harry had finished and said, “Now you will give me the same consideration I have given you. You will allow me to speak without interruptions.”
Harry nodded his consent.
“I was scared when as a child I woke up in the middle of the night to my parents yelling at each other. I walked into the parlor to see what was going on and my mum pushed me back in to my dark and lonely room. I was scared when I came home from school to see my dad pounding my mum. I was useless to her. I could not help her. He was so tall, so strong, and I was just a child. I was so scared when I came to Hogwarts and my only friend was placed in a different house; when no one wanted to be my friend; when I discovered just how ugly I was.
I was scared when I lost my only friend because of my foolish actions. I was scared when I took the Dark Mark and understood almost immediately that I had condemned myself. I was scared when the other death eaters discovered my inclinations and raped me.” Harry took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Severus. He felt that there was not enough air in the Chamber. He kissed Severus’ neck, cheek and forehead and then reluctantly took his place on Severus’ neck.
“I was afraid when my only friend died because of me. I was afraid when her child came to Hogwarts and I thought that I would not be able to protect him. That I would fail him like I had failed Lily. I was afraid when Dumbledore asked me to kill him. When shortly after I had to do as I was told, when I had to flea with Draco not knowing if I could keep him safe, as I had promised. I was afraid of dying in that Shack all alone without ever knowing happiness. I was so scared when I realized I had such strong feelings for you. When I realized that you make me happy. I am so afraid that now that you know who I am you will turn and leave.”
Tears were falling.
Tears were cleansing.
Tears were forgiving.
***
Snape woke up in his bed, not sure how he got there. He felt Harry pressed against his back. Harry had not fled. He now knew all of Severus’ shortcomings and his fears but still stayed. How had life changed so drastically for the Potions Master? When had life changed? He had no idea but was not a fool. He was not going to argue with Life. If Life had decided to shine some happiness in his life, he was going to take it. Take it all.
“A knut for your thoughts?” said Harry snuggling closer.
“I am afraid they are not worth that much.”
“Oh I don’t know about that, everything about you is worth galleons in my book,” Harry said as he caressed Severus’s ear with his cheek.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Potter.”
“Ah, ah, ah! Remember, NO ‘Potter’ in our bedroom.”
“You do realize there are a lot of ‘NO’s in our bedroom,” said the Potions Master with a raised eyebrow.
“Come off it, Severus, only two ‘NO’s: NO Potter and my personal favorite NO begging,” And with that he placed a kiss on Severus’ cheek. Severus moved to lay flat on the bed, giving his lover a better angle just in case he decided to continue kissing in a more passionate manner. Harry took it as a cue and proceeded to devour his lover’s mouth.
“So, I take it we can pick a date?” asked Harry hopefully.
“Mister P… Harry, please, pray tell, what are you talking about?”
“Our wedding date, of course,” Harry replied with a smirk on his face. “Oh wait; I am doing this all wrong. Come on, Severus, get up,” he said as he pulled his lover out of bed.
“Harry, where are we going?”
“Just into the sitting room.” Harry dragged his former professor. Once there he sat Severus in his favorite chair and went down on one knee. “Severus Snape, will you marry me?”
Severus looked into his eyes not answering and Harry grew fearful. What if Severus did not love him as he loved the Potions Master? What if… Severus saw the dread growing in Harry’s eyes and snorted.
“You dense Gryffindor, what else could I say but yes?” he answered looking into Harry’s eyes.
“Yes?”
“Yes, Harry.”
“Severus, Severus, Severus… I love you.” He looked at Severus. Severus smiled at him. But there was no response. Harry decided he needed one.
“I know it is silly but can you… well… um…”
“Harry I am good but even I cannot decipher your mumblings.”
“Well, it’s just that I would like to hear you say… um… you know… um how you feel about me.” Harry looked down not daring to meet Severus’ eyes. Snape raised his lover’s face with a gentle finger to his chin. He gazed into those beautiful eyes and said, “I love you.”
Harry launched himself up and hugged Severus; holding him tightly as if fearful of losing something dear.
Secrets in the Chamber
By Moon of the Sea
Beta: Ari
***
A week later found Harry walking into Severus’ quarters. He was amazed to see Snape in a t-shirt and tight jeans.
“You did say dress casual did you not?” said Severus with a bit of discomfort at Harry’s insistent stare.
“You look brilliant. I don’t think I will be able to leave without giving you a thorough shag.”
“I believe that tradition calls for the date first then the shagging,” Snape smirked.
“Oh, I see. You are going to make me work for it,” he winked with an impish smile.
Trying to ignore Harry’s innuendoes, he decided to change the subject. “So who are we shocking today? I simply can’t imagine who is left.”
“Nope. Not visiting anyone. Today it is only you and I.”
“That will be a first. If this is so, I do not see why we cannot alter the order of events. We may indulge if no one is waiting for us.”
Harry chuckled. “No. No one is waiting for us but we really should be going. I brought my broom with me. It’s outside your door. So we can go now.”
“Broom? You are taking me on a date on your broom. I am sorry Mr. Potter but I do not do brooms. I am quite capable of Apparating.”
“I am sure you are. But, to the best of my knowledge NO ONE can Apparate in Hogwarts. If you wish I can fire call Hermione and she will explain why.”
“Mr. Potter, I know why. Are you telling me that we will not be leaving Hogwart’s grounds?”
“We are not even leaving the castle,” he said as one that has the upper hand.
Snape took a deep breath, “I will play along. Harry, where are we going?”
“Severus, we are going to Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom,” he said trying not to laugh at Snape’s expression.
“Why would that surprise me? We are talking about the famous Harry Potter. He never does what is expected of him. Why would I even dream of going to a restaurant or on a nice picnic? No I get to go to a girl’s loo.”
Harry could not hold back his laughter, “Severus I love your sense of humor.”
“That is nice; considering I did not know I had one.”
“I suggest you get that little field bag of yours. The one you use to gather your potion ingredients.”
“Harry, I really do not wish to harvest ingredients found in a loo.”
“Severus, what have I told you about trusting me?”
Snape turned on his heels and went to get the bag.
“Ready?” asked Harry when Severus came back with the leather bag.
“I am as ready as can be expected. Lead the way.”
Harry grabbed his broom on his way out. Soon they reached Myrtle’s bathroom and Harry was relieved that she was not there. He stood in front of the sink and spoke in Parseltongue. Snape looked at him in amazement. He was still staring at Harry when the chamber opened. Harry mounted his broom and motioned to Severus to hop on.
As Severus did so he purred, “Remind me to show you how turned on I get when you speak in Parseltongue.”
“Oh I will,” said Harry, zooming down into the chamber. Once there they dismounted in front of the Basilisk’s corpse. Severus looked at the giant corpse in amazement.
“Harry, is this the Basilisk that you killed in your second year?” he asked, not being able to take his eyes off the corpse. Harry nodded. “Harry, you were a child.” Harry simply smiled. Snape felt the need to embrace Harry; to protect Harry. So he did.
Harry welcomed the embrace. He buried his face in Severus’ neck and began to speak in a very low, soft voice. “Severus, I need to speak but I can’t be interrupted. Will you please just listen?”
“Harry, I am listening.”
“I was afraid. I was very scared when I was running from the basilisk, when I was battling with it. I thought I would never get out of here alive; that I would never see my friends. That I would never grow up,” he took a deep breath and continued. “I was sometimes scared as a child; I would wake up in the middle of the night with bad dreams and I had no one to reassure me that it would be ok. Instead of words of comfort, I would get Uncle Vernon screaming at me and telling me to shut it and go back to sleep. I was scared when they would lock the door to my cupboard because it was so dark and lonely in there. I was scared when I did not know when I would get fed. I would dread dying alone of hunger in Aunt Petunia’s house and smelling up the place. I was scared when I was trying to save the Sorcerer’s Stone from Quirrell; when the dementors entered the train and I heard my mum cry.” Here Snape hugged him a little tighter. “I was so scared when Sirius died leaving me so alone with no family that cared for me.”
Snape lifted Harry’s chin and placed a soft chaste kiss on Harry’s lips. Tenderly he placed Harry’s head back on his shoulders. “I was scared when Dumbledore left Hogwarts leaving us alone with Umbridge. I was afraid when he died on the tower and I’d, yet again, lost someone dear to my heart. Was I to lose everything that was dear to me? I was so lost; so afraid.
Then I had to walk into the forest where Voldemort was waiting to kill me. I knew I had to do it. I was prepared, but Severus I was afraid.” Severus wiped Harry’s tears and kissed him in the forehead. “Yet, do you know what has been the scariest thing I have ever had to do?” he paused. “Bringing you down here and baring my soul to you. Not knowing if you will still want me now that you know all my fears, now that you know who I really am behind the face of the brave Gryffindor.”
Severus tightened his hold on Harry and took a deep breath. He waited to make sure that Harry had finished and said, “Now you will give me the same consideration I have given you. You will allow me to speak without interruptions.”
Harry nodded his consent.
“I was scared when as a child I woke up in the middle of the night to my parents yelling at each other. I walked into the parlor to see what was going on and my mum pushed me back in to my dark and lonely room. I was scared when I came home from school to see my dad pounding my mum. I was useless to her. I could not help her. He was so tall, so strong, and I was just a child. I was so scared when I came to Hogwarts and my only friend was placed in a different house; when no one wanted to be my friend; when I discovered just how ugly I was.
I was scared when I lost my only friend because of my foolish actions. I was scared when I took the Dark Mark and understood almost immediately that I had condemned myself. I was scared when the other death eaters discovered my inclinations and raped me.” Harry took a deep breath and tightened his grip on Severus. He felt that there was not enough air in the Chamber. He kissed Severus’ neck, cheek and forehead and then reluctantly took his place on Severus’ neck.
“I was afraid when my only friend died because of me. I was afraid when her child came to Hogwarts and I thought that I would not be able to protect him. That I would fail him like I had failed Lily. I was afraid when Dumbledore asked me to kill him. When shortly after I had to do as I was told, when I had to flea with Draco not knowing if I could keep him safe, as I had promised. I was afraid of dying in that Shack all alone without ever knowing happiness. I was so scared when I realized I had such strong feelings for you. When I realized that you make me happy. I am so afraid that now that you know who I am you will turn and leave.”
Tears were falling.
Tears were cleansing.
Tears were forgiving.
***
Snape woke up in his bed, not sure how he got there. He felt Harry pressed against his back. Harry had not fled. He now knew all of Severus’ shortcomings and his fears but still stayed. How had life changed so drastically for the Potions Master? When had life changed? He had no idea but was not a fool. He was not going to argue with Life. If Life had decided to shine some happiness in his life, he was going to take it. Take it all.
“A knut for your thoughts?” said Harry snuggling closer.
“I am afraid they are not worth that much.”
“Oh I don’t know about that, everything about you is worth galleons in my book,” Harry said as he caressed Severus’s ear with his cheek.
“Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Potter.”
“Ah, ah, ah! Remember, NO ‘Potter’ in our bedroom.”
“You do realize there are a lot of ‘NO’s in our bedroom,” said the Potions Master with a raised eyebrow.
“Come off it, Severus, only two ‘NO’s: NO Potter and my personal favorite NO begging,” And with that he placed a kiss on Severus’ cheek. Severus moved to lay flat on the bed, giving his lover a better angle just in case he decided to continue kissing in a more passionate manner. Harry took it as a cue and proceeded to devour his lover’s mouth.
“So, I take it we can pick a date?” asked Harry hopefully.
“Mister P… Harry, please, pray tell, what are you talking about?”
“Our wedding date, of course,” Harry replied with a smirk on his face. “Oh wait; I am doing this all wrong. Come on, Severus, get up,” he said as he pulled his lover out of bed.
“Harry, where are we going?”
“Just into the sitting room.” Harry dragged his former professor. Once there he sat Severus in his favorite chair and went down on one knee. “Severus Snape, will you marry me?”
Severus looked into his eyes not answering and Harry grew fearful. What if Severus did not love him as he loved the Potions Master? What if… Severus saw the dread growing in Harry’s eyes and snorted.
“You dense Gryffindor, what else could I say but yes?” he answered looking into Harry’s eyes.
“Yes?”
“Yes, Harry.”
“Severus, Severus, Severus… I love you.” He looked at Severus. Severus smiled at him. But there was no response. Harry decided he needed one.
“I know it is silly but can you… well… um…”
“Harry I am good but even I cannot decipher your mumblings.”
“Well, it’s just that I would like to hear you say… um… you know… um how you feel about me.” Harry looked down not daring to meet Severus’ eyes. Snape raised his lover’s face with a gentle finger to his chin. He gazed into those beautiful eyes and said, “I love you.”
Harry launched himself up and hugged Severus; holding him tightly as if fearful of losing something dear.