Dangerous Game

The next few weeks, Lily and James did not exchange a word, or even looks. Lily felt herself withering away, every time she looked in the mirror, she would turn away from her reflection, her body ghastly to look at. Her skin had lost its glow, and was just pale and ashen, her eyes had black bags under them, and she could see the bones in her wrists. She had a hard time eating, and what she did eat, she could not keep it down. Her nights were restless, and she was lucky if she was able to get four hours of sleep total. The only thing Severus was being relatively nice about was having sex. She had managed to avoid that, but nothing else. She was forced to do every other act with him, and afterwards, she always ran up to her room to take an hour long shower to cry, and scrub her skin raw

James was not as bad off as Lily was. He was able to sleep, but his ability to concentrate had escaped him completely. At Quidditch Sirius had basically taken over, James could not concentrate in classes either, in the one class he had with Lily, and he found himself constantly staring at him, even if he did not want to. Trying to get Lily off his mind, James had found a few girls to mess around with, and it worked to an extent.

Lily had seen, and heard James with his new girlfriends. Most nights she could hear the bed next door creaking, and muffled moans. She would turn on music to drown it out, and bury her head under a pillow, but nothing helped. Lily knew what was happening, and it killed her inside. Girls were beginning to talk about James like they talked about Sirius; James was turning into his best mate in that area.

After about three weeks, Lily was walking with Severus, his arm around her waist holding her close to him; she and James made eye contact. She saw him from down the hall, and he spotted her as well. As if in slow motion, they passed one another not taking their eyes off each other, everyone else seemed to disappear in that moment for Lily as she looked at him with longing, trying to tell him everything that had been happening with that one look.

His grip loosened around a brunette Hufflepuff that was linked to his arm as he watched Lily walk by. He had not noticed before, but she seemed to be wasting away. Her eyes no longer had their sparkle, and her aurora around her that had originally attracted him was gone. When she was past him, he looked back, and saw Severus had noticed the moment they had shared. She was struggling to pull away from him, but he slammed her up against a wall. It took everything James had not to go kill him, but he fought it. In that look, and that action, the truth seemed to come to him.

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“Let go,” Lily muttered pulling away from his grip, she succeeded but was not fast enough, as he grabbed her again slamming her up against a wall, her head connecting hard. White lights popped up in her eyes, and she saw no one was coming to her rescue, no one ever did.

“You are embarrassing me,” Severus hissed at her, the few students that had stopped were looking, but they quickly walked off, not wanting to deal with that Severus had done to James.

She held still in his grasp, defeated she stared at the ground not meeting his dark black eyes. Lily knew her arms were going to bruise up from his grip, but that was nothing new.

Pulling her off the wall, they began to walk down the hall. “Tonight,” Severus said as they walked. “You are going to mine tonight, fully.” Severus said with a smirk. Lily’s window of freedom from that had died. She knew there was no way out of it.

“I-I can’t,” Lily said still trying to get out of it.

“Why not,” Severus said rounding on her, stopping her in her tracks.

“I have—a paper—to write,” Lily stuttered running a hand through her hair. Too late, she had been caught in a lie. She was wrenched into an empty classroom, and Lily did not fight. If she did, the punishment was always worse.

“What did I tell you about lying?!” Severus said his face inches from hers.

“I—I’m sorry,” Lily said looking at him. “I’m just not ready.”

“You were ready with Potter after a damn week,” Severus said glaring at her. He could see the shock in her face, and laughed maniacally. “Oh I knew, they whole damn school knew. What is so different with me?”

“It’s just different,” Lily said still shocked, and more scared than ever. She had never seen him so angry, and she knew it was out of jealousy.

“Too bad,” Severus said raising his wand. “It is going to be tonight, or I promise I will have him killed. I am tired of you still lingering on him.”

“I still love him!” Lily blurted out, then instantly regretted it. His eyes flashed, and sparks flew from his wand, some landing on Lily burning her, but she did not move to wipe them off.

He did not say a word, he just whipped his wand in anger, and Lily’s shirt was ripped to shreds, fresh cuts appearing on her body, some old cuts reopened. Screaming in pain, Lily fell to the floor but was stopped from babying the wounds by Severus. He grabbed her hands, dragging her stand back up.

“You love me Lily,” Severus spat. “And tonight you will see how much. I want you to meet me in the same room, at nine.” With that he disappeared from the room, his cloak billowing behind him.

Lily covered her blood soaked arms and body with her cloak, and rushed up to her room. She pushed open the door, leaving blood finger prints there, but Lily did not bother to clean it up. She was weak, and stumbled using the couch to catch her before slipping into her room. This was the worst one yet; blood soaked her shirt, leaving hardly any white spots. She ripped it off as well as her bra, and cleaned herself up as best as she could, pulling on a fresh shirt, before collapsing into her bed, clinging to a pillow. The cuts were still bleeding, but not as bad, and she did not have the strength to fix them, or close her door that was a bit open. She curled up into a ball, clutching the pillow as she sobbed.

---------------------------------------------------

James and his new girlfriend as of two days ago, Emily were heading up to his room for a mid day romp, though Lily was haunting James mind more than she had been for the past three weeks. He reached the last step before Emily did, and saw the bloody fingertips on the door. His heart stopping for a second, he turned around to Emily as she came up the stairs, blocking the prints.

“I’m sorry love,” James said faking sad. “I just remembered I have a paper to write due tomorrow.” She looked disappointed but he did not care, he was too nervous. “I will come get you when I am done okay?”

She seemed happy with that, and James kissed her goodbye. Once she was halfway down the stairs, James said the password and flung open the door. He saw a few blood droplets on the floor, and a bloody hand print on the back of the couch.

“Lily?” James called out going over to her door, once again there was blood smeared on the handle. “Lils?” He called into the room, he could hear her crying, and she did not respond to him. Not wanting to waste time, James flung open the door, going into the room. Even if he was mad at Lily, he still loved and cared for her, even if she did not him.

Lily heard him, but did not move, she just laid in the fetal position, unable to move really.

James looked around at the floor, a bloody shirt thrown over her desk chair, and a bra on the floor of the bathroom. He rushed to her side, sitting on the bed next to her. From what he could see on her arms, her t-shirt covering the rest of her body, there were cuts lining her arms and hands, some were still bleeding a bit.

“What did he do to you?” James asked her concerned, his fingers running very gently up her arms. Turning around quickly, he grabbed tissues from her nightstand, and began to clean up some of the blood that was running down her arm.

She did not answer, but instead let go of her pillow, flinging herself on him, holding tightly as she sobbed into his shoulder. Glad he did not push her away, Lily gripped his back as if her life depended.

James just held her tightly; glad to feel her against him. It felt different though, and he figured out why, her body was smaller than he remembered, he could feel her ribs against him. He rubbed her back, regretting everything he had said to her within the last month, and everything else he had ever done.

Finally Lily found her voice, “I’m so sorry,” Lily hiccupped, her grip loosening a bit on him. She sat up to look at him, and when he went to talk she cut him off. “I was so stupid, but I had to do it. If I didn’t he…” she stopped to wipe her eyes. “He would have killed you.”

James furrowed his eyebrows as he listened to her talk. As she went one, everything seemed to make sense; she had done all of this to keep him safe. His heart ached for her, and he reached out to hold her when she was done talking.

“You should have told me,” James said holding her tightly. He regretted that last confrontation, everything he had said to her seemed so ignorant, if only he had known.

“I couldn’t, he would know, then he would have come after me. He wanted you to suffer,” Lily said. “I thought that it would be better than him hurting you and killing you.”

“I would have preferred to deal with that, then what I have been going through. And what about you? He has worn you thin, and he could have killed you,” James said looking at the cuts on her arms again, anger emerging from him.

“I couldn’t let him hurt you James,” Lily said pathetically, “I love you.” Without another word, Lily threw herself at James, pulling him into a passionate kiss, holding him tightly to her. She let go in that moment as James kissed her back, all her worries seemingly leaving her mind.

James did not think about Emily the whole time, he did not care. He felt bad, but he was just using her to try and get Lily off his mind, though it did not work. Swatting away the pillow Lily had been clinging to, James laid her down gently on her back, before removing her shirt, dropping it to the floor on the other side of the bed. Sitting up, he removed his shirt before looking down at her body. He could see almost all her ribs against her skin, and she had cuts, bruises and bite marks lining her stomach and chest.

Lily pulled him back down on her, and kissed him, her fingertips running over his back, she could feel raised cuts that were healing on his back, and felt a pang of jealousy, but at the moment it did not matter. James was hers, even if it was only for these few moments.

Feverishly, they removed the rest of their clothing, and James very gently kissed the cuts and bruises on her body. Lily gasped in pleasure for the first time in weeks when he took one of her breasts into his mouth. Her body arched up to him as he gently pushed into her, kissing her as he did so.

Slowly their bodies began to move as James softly made love to Lily. She moaned in pleasure holding him tightly as she did so, and kissed him hungrily when their lips met. After Lily’s body shook with an orgasm, and James came, he pulled out of her lying on the bed next to her. He pulled her frail body closer to him, looking down into her eyes, their sparkle was back and he kissed her again.

Lily held him tightly, until eight thirty came around. She sat up, and James stared at her as she moved over to pick up her clothes and began to get dressed. “What is wrong love?” James asked her, she seemed very upset about something.

“I have to go to him,” Lily said turning away from him as she fished in her dresser for a tank top, not bothering with a bra.

“No you don’t stay here,” James said sitting up to watch her. “I will keep you safe, I promise.”

“I am doing this to keep you safe,” Lily said turning around to him fully dressed.

“I will be fine,” James protested, not wanting her to leave.

“You don’t understand, if I don’t go with him tonight, he threatened to kill you himself. I told him I still loved you,” Lily said collapsing on the end of the bed. “He is mad with jealousy, he wants me to go to him fully tonight,” she said not being able to say the actual word.

“No, Lily, don’t please,” he said grabbing her hand gingerly. “School is out in three months, and we graduate. He cannot kill me in school, and once we are out I will never have to see him again, and neither will you.”

“He threatened my family as well, and yours. I can’t let him, please James, don’t make this harder then it has to be,” Lily said feeling tears behind her eyes as she saw James’ face.

“I will be back later tonight, you should go find Emily,” she said jealousy in her voice for a split second, she could not be angry with him though.

“She means nothing to me Lily, none of those girls did. I was just trying to get you off my mind, you closed me out too fast, I could not stop thinking about it, and it was driving me crazy,” James said trying to defend himself.

“I have to go,” Lily said walking out of the room, knowing if she stayed any longer James would convince her to stay.