Fire and Water

Just when you think it going to happen.... Reviews would be wonderful





Chapter Eleven



“Thank you for staying with me last night,’ he said the next morning, his face going a little pink. She smiled.

“Your bed’s more comfortable than mine,’ she quipped, and he let out a small laugh, reaching for her hands, and looking at each other for a moment.

“We should talk about…..’ he began, but she shook her head quickly. They were in the nearly deserted Entrance Hall, having finished breakfast quickly.



‘It’s not the time or the place. Let’s just concentrate on our classes for now, ok. We can talk later tonight,’ she said softly. ‘This is a big change we’re talking about…and things got pretty emotional last night. Maybe you’ll decide you don’t want this…’

‘Krys, I’m sure,’ he said, certain he wanted nothing more. ‘I want things to change for us.’

Krystal bit her lip then gave him a tentative smile. ‘So do I,’ she admitted.

He stared at her for a second, then ran his hands up her arms to cup her shoulders, pulling her into an embrace; his arms wrapping around her back as hers slid around his waist. She closed her eyes against the rush of emotion that threatened to knock her to the ground.



“Remus.” They heard his father’s voice from the front doors, and jumped, moving apart.

“Dad!’ Remus said, as his father moved across the hall to them. He saw his father take in his and Krystal’s red faces, and was surprised to see a frown cross his face.

“What are you doing here?’ he asked, feeling slightly defiant as he felt for Krystal’s hand and took it, pulling her closer to his side.



“Professor Dumbledore contacted me and let me know what had happened. You know your mother: she was worried, so I said I‘d check on you,’ he replied, and turned to Krystal. “Hello, Krystal.”

“Hi, Mr Lupin,’ she said, flushing a little, trying to remove her hand from Remus’ but he refused to let go.



‘Have you finished breakfast?’ he asked his son, his frown deepening. When Remus nodded, he said, ‘Come on then. Walk me down to the gate.’ Remus nodded, and squeezed Krystal’s hand.

‘I’ll see you in class,’ she said, with a smile, returning Mr Lupin’s farewell wave.



They walked down the stairs and made their way to the school gates. Once Mr Lupin confirmed that Remus was fine, he cleared his throat and said, ’I need to talk to you Remus - about what I just saw between you and Krystal.’

His fathers voice was serious, and Remus felt slightly concerned.

“Can you tell me how…..far your friendship has gone?’ Mr Lupin said, trying to choose his words carefully. But Remus had no such trouble, deciding there was no point dragging this discussion out.



‘You’re asking if we’ve had sex?’ he said stopping, his cheeks flushing but his eyes remaining fixed on his father who also stood still. A muscle in his father’s jaw jumped as he gritted his teeth and nodded.

“We haven’t,’ Remus said, looking down at the ground. “It’s only just happened. We haven’t spoken about any of this stuff yet; I haven‘t even kissed her yet - although I might have had the chance if you hadn‘t interrupted us.’ He mumbled the last comment under his breath then looked up at his father. He was surprised to see the relieved look on his father’s face.

“I know all the spells, dad, and I’d never hurt Krys…..” he began, thinking that he was about to get ‘the talk.’

His father interrupted, saying, “I know you’d never want to hurt her, Remus, but I don’t think you’ve really thought this relationship through - and I‘m not just talking about sex.”



Remus frowned and opened his mouth, but Mr Lupin continued, turning away and starting to move again, Remus following him.

“This is my fault. I could see the way you felt about her changing, but…‘ He sighed. ‘I know that Krystal doesn’t have a problem with having a lycanthrope as a friend, and I respect her for that. Not many people are as supportive or understanding as she is….and that’s the problem.”



He paused and looked at his son. “You are going to face some tough times, Remus. People will eventually find out about your lycanthropy, and, as much as I wish it weren’t true, they won’t be as kind as Krystal and your friends. And, if you are involved with someone, they will be treated as badly as I fear you will be.”

He had never heard his father speak like this, and Remus knew it was upsetting him to talk about his son this way.

“I wish you could have a normal life, son, but no matter how much I want it, you won’t. And neither will anyone who is in a relationship with you.”

Remus stopped abruptly as they reached the gates, turning away as his father continued talking. He had an awful feeling he knew what he was going to ask him to do.



“I don’t think you’ve considered exactly what Krystal will be taking on, Remus. Before either of you get too serious, you need to know what you are asking of her. You are asking her to take the same treatment you will get; to face being ostracised by her friends and family if they can’t accept you; to perhaps be rejected for any job she might want; to never be able to have children. She’s only sixteen, Remus. She doesn’t know what she’s getting into. But you do.”

He heard his father coming up behind him and felt his hand on his shoulder.

“You need to stop it, Remus, before it goes too far and she ends up getting hurt.”



Remus shook his head, not wanting to hear his father’s words as he continued to speak.

“One day, she’ll be mature enough to weigh everything up and make a decision, but she can’t do that now. Krystal is a wonderful person: she’s warm and funny and she obviously cares for you very much, but it’s best to end this now, son, before it gets too serious.”

Remus felt himself shaking, his eyes and voice full of tears as he said softly, “I…I don‘t want to lose her. I really, really care about her, dad.”

His father’s hand tightened on his shoulder and he was silent for a moment before he said gently, “All the more reason to let her go, Remus.”



The portrait hole leading into the Gryffindor common room opened quietly late that night, Remus ducking a bit as he climbed through. He had insisted he felt ill after his dad left, visiting the hospital wing to think about what his father had said, refusing all visitors.



The more he thought, the sadder he felt. His father was right. His feelings for Krystal were strong and he wanted nothing more than to be with her; but he wanted her to be happy. Being with him wouldn’t make her happy - not once his condition became common knowledge.



He had hoped if he came back so late, Krystal would not be still awake. But it wasn’t to be. He saw Krystal curled up on the couch in front of the fire. She’d been waiting for him; just as he’d known she probably would. He walked over to her and crouched beside her, watching her sleep. All these years he’d wanted her, and now they were so close and he had to push her away. He felt his eyes sting again, but he refused to allow her see how much this was going to hurt him, not when he would be doing his best to make her hate him. Taking a breath, he allowed himself one last touch; stroking her cheek, before he shook her awake.



“Hi!’ she said, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

“Hey,’ he said, trying to sound as if he hadn’t been counting down the seconds until he saw her again. He stood up, moving away from her.

“You should go on up to bed,’ he said, looking away.

She looked confused by the distance he had put between them. “What’s wrong?’ she asked, standing as well. ’Why wouldn’t you let me come and see you in the hospital wing?’

He shook his head, looking back at her.

“I’m tired, I guess. Listen, Krystal….I think we may have made a mistake. I know we thought that we might get together, but I’ve had some time today to think about it and we’re better as friends, don’t you think?’ he said, trying to keep his tone cool and light.



Krystal stared at him for a moment, trembling, hurt all over her face. ’What?’ she asked, standing up to face him.

‘I’m sorry, Krystal,’ he said, his chest aching. ’I just got carried away, I guess. I don’t feel the same way you do. You….you’re hot and you turn me on, and I just don’t want you to think it’s anything more than sex I would want. I’m not interested in anything serious with you.’



He could barely meet her eye, but when he did, he briefly glimpsed the pain there, before suddenly, he saw her eyes change, hardening.

“Well, I guess it‘s for the best that nothing really happened then. It would have been a big mistake. I am going to go up to bed, I didn’t realise how late it was. Night,’ she said, tonelessly.

She walked past him, up the stairs to her room. Remus ran a hand over his eyes, telling himself again that this was for the best; this was for Krystal. He only just managed to get into bed, before his tears started to fall.



Krystal didn’t cry, nor did she sleep. She sat at the breakfast table the next morning, pushing eggs around her plate when Sirius threw himself down next to her.

“Morning,’ he said cheerfully, looking over at her. ‘Jeez, Krys, are you alright?”

She looked at him and saw Remus sit down next to him. She threw down her fork.

“I’m fine, thanks,’ she said, standing up and walking away, Sirius staring at her back in shock.

He’d never hear Krystal sound so cold before. Controlled, polite but frigid. He turned to Remus, who looked pained and stood up himself.

‘I forgot my Potions books.’ Sirius watched him leave the room as well, confused by the tension.



Remus didn’t come back for breakfast, but Sirius pulled him aside after a class with both him and Krystal that had a distinct chill.

“What’s going on? I thought from what we saw the other night, you and Krys would be together now, but you could barely look at each other in there. What happened?’ he asked.

Remus looked at him. He knew Sirius was his friend, but he also cared about Krystal, and he had no doubt their friend would tell Krys everything if he knew.

“I realised the other night that I just don‘t have feelings for her anymore. I guess I mistook my attraction to her for something deeper. I think Krys is mad at me, but it‘s for the best,’ he said, trying to sound blasé.



Sirius stared at him disbelievingly for a moment.

“Are you kidding?’ he said. “Cause if you are, it’s a really bad joke.” Remus shook his head, trying to look as though he couldn’t care less.

Sirius shook his head, angry now. “So, that’s it? All this angst over the past two years about Krystal just forgotten?’ he spat out.

Remus nodded, unable to get any words past the lump in his throat.



Sirius exhaled loudly through his nose as he looked at Remus. All of a sudden, his fist shot out and hit Remus on the jaw, sending him stumbling into the wall. He grabbed his face, and looked over at Sirius, who was now pointing his wand at him.

“I warned you not to hurt her,’ he said, eyes flashing. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You’re the one who just punched me; what the hell is wrong with you?’ Remus yelled at him, his jaw protesting painfully.

Sirius shook his head in disgust, turned and walked away.



He found Krystal sitting beside the lake throwing stones into the still water, watching the ripples as they broke on the bank.

“He told you?’ she said as he sat next to her. He nodded.

“I don’t believe him, Krys. Something’s going on,’ Sirius said.

She laughed - a bitter sound. “Yeah, well maybe he has another personality - an evil twin. I‘m just glad I found out before anything happened,’ she spat out, throwing a stone hard at the water.



She raised her hand to throw another, but he caught it. “Krys, are you alright?’ he asked, concerned by the look on her face, and the lack of any emotion in her eyes.

“Oh I’m just fine, Sirius,’ she said, turning to look at him. “I was mistaken about his feelings. Not the end of the world. Plenty more fish in the sea.”

She turned back towards the water. “Or the lake, as they case may be,’ she said, throwing the stone hard, both of them watching as it soared far out into the lake out of sight.

Sirius frowned. “How did you do that?’ he asked, amazed she’d thrown it so far.

“Magic, I guess,’ she said miserably, looking back at him. “Why did he pretend to feel the same, Sirius?’



He stared at her, seeing the hard look in her eyes crack a little. ‘I don’t think he did, Krys,’ he said softly, putting his arm around her. ‘I don’t know what’s happened, but he is crazy about you.’

She shook her head, laying it on his shoulder. They stayed like that for a minute, then Krystal raised her head and looked at Sirius, a strange look in her eyes.

‘Krys, what….’ he began, but his words were cut off, as her lips met his.



Sirius hesitated for a few seconds, then, as her lips parted, he raised his hands to her head, holding her close to him as he responded. Krystal’s hands moved to his chest, then slid up to his shoulders, as Sirius deepened their kiss, hearing her small moan as his tongue touched hers. The sound sent heat straight to his groin, and he did it again. He felt her tongue flick over his lip, making him groan and completely forget all the reasons they shouldn‘t be doing this.



His hands moved into her hair as they made out for a few minutes, Sirius pushing Krystal back onto the grass, moving so he was lying lightly across her chest. His hand moved to stroke her cheek, then run over her neck, hearing her make a little noise in her throat. Krystal’s hands moved as well, running lightly down his back. He pressed himself closer, her touch sending a shiver through him. Then he felt her fingers graze the bare skin under his shirt, and her touch on his back made him realise just how out of hand the kiss had gotten.



He pushed himself away from her, breathing heavily.

‘Fuck!’ he exclaimed loudly, running his hands through his hair.

‘Sirius…’ she began, sitting up, but he shook his head.

‘I shouldn’t have let it go that far, Krys. I’m sorry. I just….’ he stopped, looking over at her.

Krystal had also seen sense, and scooted towards him.

‘No, it was my fault, Siri. I’m sorry. I was…. using you to feel better. You are such a good friend. You don’t deserve for me to treat you like that.’

Sirius let out a breath of laughter. ‘Yeah. I know all about using other people to forget someone,’ he said, his voice low. ‘I suppose that’s called karma, isn’t it?’

Krystal looked confused, and he took her face in his hands. ‘I wanted to, Krys. I knew better, but I wanted to kiss you, so I didn’t care that you were vulnerable. That makes me a really shitty friend.’



They looked at each other for a second. ‘Any chance we can forget about this one as well?’ he quipped, referring to their first brief kiss. Krystal smiled and reached out for his hand, kissing it quickly.

’Do you want to forget it?’ she asked.

He closed his eyes briefly. No, he didn’t, but what he said was, ’I think it’s best, Krys. It should never have happened. Remus is one of my best friends…’



Krystal interrupted him. ’Remus made his choice, Sirius..’

He shook his head, and smiled at her. ’Krys, he’s spent the last five years waiting for the slightest hint that you felt the same as him. Feelings like that don’t just change. Something’s going on. So, yes. I want you to forget this ever happened.’

She nodded, and he hugged her.

‘How frigging hot would we have been together though?’ he whispered into her ear and they both laughed.

‘You thoroughly deserve your reputation, Siri,’ she said softly with a smile as she stood up and walked away, not seeing Sirius lose his smile and close his eyes, an expression of loss spreading across his face.



Sirius and Krystal’s friendship remained intact, but the relationship between Remus and Krystal was over, the next couple of weeks seeing changes in both of them. Remus withdrew from everyone except the Marauders, concentrating on his school work. Sirius had apologised for hitting him, but surprised him by telling him that he didn’t believe his story; and that when he wanted to talk about what was really going on, he could come to him. Remus nearly blurted out everything, but held his tongue, trying to convince himself that this was the best thing for Krystal.



Krystal, on the other hand, became the life of the party. She joined James and Sirius in several pranks, copping a serve from Lily who was becoming concerned about her friend. She’d become very popular with the Seventh years, particularly the boys, and, to Lily’s concern, showed up one night late reeking of Firewhiskey. She’d tried to talk to her, so had Sirius, but Krystal refused to listen, calling them party poopers.

Despite her upbeat outward appearance, Krystal felt cold all the time. She didn’t feel any emotion, just a dark, pervading chill inside that frightened her when she let herself think about it. So she didn’t think about it: preferring to hide under the shadows that were protecting her from feeling hurt.



Sirius kept at Remus, still not believing him. It was obvious Remus wasn‘t himself: he looked tireder than usual, and his spirits were low.

“Why don’t you go out with other girls then?’ he asked, when Remus insisted he was over Krystal.

“Haven’t thought about it, I suppose,’ he replied, thinking that there wasn’t anything he wanted less.

“Well, I’ve set up a date for you,’ Sirius said, looking a Remus with a challenge in his eye. “April Jarman.”

Remus frowned at him, recognising the name as one Krystal had mentioned over summer break.

“Isn’t she in Hufflepuff?’ he asked, picturing the giggly, blonde girl in their year.

“Yep,’ said Sirius. “And I heard from a very reliable source that she likes you.”



Remus’ frown deepened. “I don’t know Sirius,’ he said. “I don’t know her……“ Sirius shook his head impatiently.

“So, you’ll get to know her.I thought you said you were over Krystal? Well,’ he said when Remus nodded. “Go out with April. Oh come on, Remus. You’re not asking her to marry you, just to go to Hogsmeade with you before Easter. Or, ask her to go for a walk with you around the grounds for a ‘talk’.”

Remus shook his head, blushing a little. “I don’t think so, Sirius…..” he began.

“Why not?’ his friend interrupted, slyly glancing at the brown haired boy. “Worried what Krystal will think?”



He saw Remus pause briefly, then ignore his question.

‘Alright,’ he said. “I’ll go.” Sirius grinned.

“Right, she’ll meet you in the Entrance Hall on Saturday.” Sirius watched as his friend nodded, hoping his plan worked. He wanted Remus to tell him why he had lied (and he was sure he had) and hoped that forcing him into an unwanted date would prompt his mate to confide in him.



Lily approached Krystal warily the next night as she was getting into bed. “Krys,’ she began, as she slipped onto the bed.

“Mmm?’ Krystal said, tired and not really wanting a gossip session. “I’m tired, Lils.”

Lily nodded. “I just thought you’d want to know, I heard some Hufflepuff girls talking today…..”

Krystal looked at her, bewildered. “And I care about this because…?”

Lily sighed. “Because they were talking about how Remus is going with April Jarman to Hogsmeade on Saturday.”

She tried to say the words gently, but knew they had wounded her friend - no matter how much she tried to hide it.



Krystal felt like Lily had punched her, as she frowned and blinked her eyes. “Why would I want to know about that?” she asked, her voice hard.

“I know you still care for him, Krys. And I can see I’ve upset you,’ Lily said, her eyes filling with compassion. Krystal shook her head.

“He can go to Hogsmeade with whoever he likes. Good luck to him!’ she said, in a breezy tone.

She lay down and pulled her sheets up to her chin. “Night, Lily”

Lily said goodnight and got into her own bed, shooting Krystal a worried look before she turned off her lamp.



April smiled at Remus as she approached him in the courtyard that Saturday. He greeted her and they walked out of the Hogwarts grounds, to the village of Hogsmeade.

‘Where do you want to go first?’ Remus asked, feeling nervous as they stopped outside the sweet shop.

They debated for a moment, before opening the door to Honeydukes and going in. As April kept up her chatter, Remus found his thoughts slipping to Krystal, wondering what she was doing today. She hadn’t been in the large group heading for the township; he’d been looking for her, not sure if he wanted to see her or not. What if she was going with someone else? His stomach twisted and he felt nauseous. He couldn’t stand the thought of someone else being able to touch her; kiss her when he couldn’t.



“Remus?” April had turned to him and was asking him if he wanted to buy anything.

“I’m fine, thanks,’ he said, and she moved to the counter to pay for her sweets.

April was a nice enough girl - she didn’t deserve for him to be thinking about someone else all day.

‘It’s not her fault she’s not Krystal,‘ he thought miserably.



For the rest of the day, he made a concerted effort to keep his mind on April, being attentive to the pretty girl. His attention to her seemed to work. Before dinner, he walked her to the top of the stairs that led to the Hufflepuff Common room, stopping to say that he’d had a nice day. She smiled at him, moving closer.

“I had a really good time, Remus. I hope we can do something together again soon,’ she said, now standing very close to him. He looked down at her, suddenly very nervous.



“Sure,’ he said, his voice sounding a little cracked as she put her hand up to his cheek and drew his head towards her. Remus felt her soft lips pressing against his. His hands moved instinctively to her shoulders, as his eyes closed. He felt her lips part a little, and he copied her. She took the lead, pulling him closer and kissing him, deeper now, and he felt her tongue flick his lip. His breath caught and he slid his own tongue over her lip, hearing her moan.



After a minute, they pulled away from each other, their breathing a little more rapid now.

April smiled at him. ‘There’s more to you than meets the eye, isn’t there?‘

He grinned sheepishly, and she winked at him. ‘Bye, Remus.” She turned and walked down the stairs.



Remus felt a mixture of emotions, watching her go. He was a little stunned by the unexpected kiss - his first. But he also felt guilty, knowing he didn’t feel the same about April as she did about him; that his reaction to her had been purely physical. He also felt a twinge of regret - he had imagined his first real kiss with Krystal. He frowned, telling himself to stop it, that it wasn’t to be.



He walked slowly up to the Gryffindor common room, and saw Sirius waiting for him. A quick look around told him that Krystal wasn’t here, before his friend dragged him up the stairs and into their room.

“Well,’ he said, expectantly. Remus sighed.

“It was fine, Sirius. Nice,’ he said, sitting on his bed.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Nice? Just nice? Did you make a move?” Remus shook his head.

“No. She did though,’ he said.

“How was it?’ Sirius asked, watching Remus carefully.

“Nice,’ Remus said again.

“Nice again?’ Sirius said, seeing his friends lack of enthusiasm.

Remus shrugged. “I don’t know, Sirus. It was nice, but…..it just didn’t feel right, you know.”



Sirius looked at him, understanding in his eyes. “Because it wasn’t Krys?’ he said quietly, seeing the answer on his friends’ face. ‘Moony, what’s going on? I know you still want Krys….’

Remus looked up at him, tears burning his eyes.

“Yeah, I do,‘ he admitted. ‘But it’s over, Sirius. Just accept it. I’ve had to.” He walked out of the room before Sirius could say another word.



Krystal was in the bathroom after dinner that night, when she heard the girls come in. She quickly moved to a cubicle and locked herself in, not wanting anyone to see her red eyes. She hadn’t slept properly in ages, and her late nights and drinking with the Seventh Years wasn’t helping her looks. She heard Remus’ name mentioned, and paid attention.



It was April, telling her friends about her date earlier that day with Remus. “So, did he kiss you?’ a girl asked.

“Well, I kissed him, but he kissed me back. He’s a really good kisser. Very nice lips. It‘s always the quiet ones, isn‘t it?”

The girls all giggled and left the bathroom, leaving Krystal sitting in the stall. She felt a burning, stabbing pain, but quickly pushed it down.

‘If he is getting on with things, then so should I,’ she thought, as she pushed away all emotion, feeling only the darkness that had been shielding her since Remus broke her heart.



It was late that night when the Marauders walked through the portrait hole; Sirius, Peter and James complaining about how unfair it was they had to scrub the toilets by hand on their latest detention. Remus laughed as they whinged; he had been studying in the library and had met the others in the hall. James heard a soft moan over near the fireplace as they walked past, and looked over.

“Shit,‘ he cursed under his breath. He turned and tried to stand between Remus and the couch, but it was too late.



Remus froze, his face turning white. He had seen what James had, and his mouth dropped open as he watched the couple making out on the couch. His face hardened when he saw Krystal, straddling the lap of the Seventh year, kiss the older boy hotly as his hands moved to her ass, pulling her hips down against his groin.



“Hey!’ yelled Sirius, his face red with anger at seeing his friend getting groped in public. Krystal and the boy, Mark, broke apart startled; Krystal frowning when she saw Remus standing there.

“Do you mind? We’re busy here,’ said Mark, grinning as he pulled Krystal’s head back towards him.

“Get the hell off him, Krys!’ came Remus’ angry demand.

“Mind your business, Remus,’ came the slightly muffled reply, as Mark kissed her, his hands moving up under her shirt.



James lunged to try and grab Remus as his friend pushed past a stunned looking Sirius, nearly knocking him over. He strode over to the couch, and pulled Krystal roughly off the other boy.

“What the hell are you doing?’ she said, angrily, trying to pull her arms out of his grasp. Sirius and James moved quickly when they saw Mark stand up and face Remus. Peter crept forward, watching them.

“She doesn’t want you touching her, Lupin, so let her go,’ he said, standing very close to Remus.



“You got her drunk? God, you really are an asshole,’ Remus shouted at him, smelling Firewhiskey on Krystal, as Sirius forced himself between Remus and Mark.

“I’m not drunk Remus, and it’s none of your damn business what, or who, I do,’ she spat at him, wrenching one arm out of his grip.

“What do you think you’re doing with this jerk, Krys?’ he said, as James took hold of Mark’s arm as it raised as if to hit Remus.

“What did it look like she was doing, Lupin?’ Mark said, sarcastically, shaking off James‘ hand. “And we were about to go upstairs and do a whole lot more before you interrupted us, so if you don’t mind…”

Remus let go of Krystal and, before Sirius could stop him, he punched Mark hard in the nose, hearing a crack as it broke.



‘Shit!’ came the reply from the boy, a sentiment echoed by James and Sirius, knowing how much trouble Remus could get into for punching another student. James dragged a pissed off Mark to the couch, telling him to stop being such a wimp as he pointed his wand at his nose to repair the break. Sirius kept a hand on Remus’ chest, as his friend showed every sign of wanting to hit Mark again.



Krystal watched, horrified until the older boy’s nose stopped bleeding and healed. Then she glared at Remus, and turned away from him, but he grabbed her arm and spun her around to look at him.

“Get off me,’ she demanded, her voice suddenly very calm, controlled and cold as she glared at him, eyes silver.

“You’re making a mistake, Krys. I won’t let you do it,’ he said determinedly, not letting go of her arm.



“No, Remus,’ she said, steel in her voice now. “My mistake was believing that you felt the same about me as I did about you.” He tried to interrupt, but she cut him off.

“You don’t have the right to butt into my life anymore. You didn’t want me, so I‘ve found someone who does.”

“You know what he wants, Krys,’ he hissed, putting his stricken face right up to hers. “You deserve better than that.”



She frowned at him, her cold mask cracking a little, allowing her anger and hurt to show. “That’s all you wanted as well, remember? I thought it would be you, but maybe he’s the one, Remus. Maybe I want him to touch me, and kiss me until I feel something other than cold all the time.’

Her low voice broke as she spoke, and Remus’ heart ached as he saw the anger and hurt on her face, knowing he’d made her feel this way; and the thought of Mark touching her made him want to punch the Seventh Year again.

Neither of them noticed James, Peter and Sirius pulling Mark up the stairs, telling him they would show the Head Boy where to find his whiskey stash if he didn’t leave.



“Krys, this isn’t what I wanted,’ he said desperately, trying to get through to her.

“This is exactly what you wanted, Remus,’ she retorted. “I can’t believe you’re behaving like a jealous boyfriend - you don’t have the right to be jealous.’

Remus opened his mouth again, but she pulled her arm away from him, trying to walk past him. “Krys,…”

“Piss off, Remus,’ she snapped, walking over to the bottom of the stairs leading to the boys rooms.



He felt heat rush over him as his temper flared and, unthinkingly, he reacted to it; moving fast as he came up behind her, spun her around and pushed her up against the stone wall of the common room. Her hands came up in front of her to cast a hex, but he grabbed her wrists tightly and flattened them on the wall on either side of her head.



“Do you think I want this, that I like this?’ he ground out, his voice harsh and distraught. She saw his anguished face and her own rage began to fade, leaving only hurt.

“This was your choice, Remus. You wanted sex, you didn‘t want me….”



He let out a short, angry bark of ironic laughter, and said, “I didn’t want you? Krys, I have never wanted anything more than I want you. Seeing him with his hands on you…I want to kill him.”

Her lip began to tremble, and her eyes filled with tears, but she was still defiant, still trying to hold onto her anger.

“You want me so much you dumped me before we even managed to get started?,’ she said “You did this, Remus. Don’t blame me for trying to get on with things.”

“I don’t have a choice, don’t you understand? I can’t let you be with me, Krys. I care about you too much to do that to you,’ he cried, his own tears threatening to overflow now.

She looked at him, her anger dying, confusion in it’s place.



“Do what to me?’ she said, puzzled. “Remus?”

He’d let go of her hands, and turned away from her. She stayed leaning against the wall for a moment, then followed him.

“You can’t say that then walk away,’ she said, her voice rising again. “For God’s sake, Remus, I don’t understand what’s going on. You let me think you want something more with me, then take it back? Who does that?”



“I do want more,’ he said, sinking into the couch, his head in his hands. Krystal froze. “What?’ she asked.

“I pretended I didn‘t care, Krys. I told you that so you would stay away from me, move on and find someone better, but I can‘t stand this. I can‘t stand seeing you with someone else.’ His voice was muffled as he spoke, his head down. She moved slowly to the couch and sat next to him, watching him distrustfully.

“Why would you do that?’ she asked. “What did I do, Remus? Why do you want me to stay away from you? ”



“I didn’t,’ he cried in frustration, raising his head. “I don’t, but Krys, you don’t know what it’s going to be like for you if we are together. Other people aren’t like you; they won’t accept me. If we’re together, you won’t be accepted either.’

His voice had risen as he tried to make her see why he’d done this. Krystal was watching him, the hurt slowly draining from her face, to be replaced with anger as she began to understand.

‘We didn’t think about this. We didn’t think about what might happen in the future; how you could be hurt by being with someone like me. What about when your parents find out what I am? What would you do if they told you to choose? Could you stay with me knowing that they might never speak to you again? You might miss out on job opportunities because of me; you’ll never be able to have children - animals like me don’t breed.”



There was a short, sharp crack, and Remus felt a stinging across his cheek as his head snapped to the side. Krystal had slapped him - damn hard, her face furious and white. “Don’t you ever call yourself an animal again!’ she hissed at him in a voice shaking with fury, as she stood up.

“So you did all this for me? To protect me?” She shook her head, her anger returning in full force as she glared down at him.

“Did it not once occur to you to ask me what I wanted? To ask if I hadn’t already thought of all of those things?” Her eyes glowed silver as her breathing became rapid.

“How dare you make decisions about my life without even talking to me about it!’ she ground out, her voice rising again.



He stood up, a red handprint standing out vividly against his pale face. “We thought it would be best. That it was best to end it before we got too serious.”

“We?’ she asked.

“My dad and I talked about it,’ he began, but she interrupted him.

“This was your dad’s idea?’ she asked, eyes narrowing, as her voice became dangerously quiet.

“No. He told me how concerned he was, but this was my idea. I wanted to protect you from that; I don’t want that life for you, Krys.”



His voice cracked and his despair was obvious. His sadness dissolved her anger, and her face began to soften, lip trembling as she tried desperately not to break down.

“But it’s my life, Remus,’ she said quietly, the tears that she’d been holding at bay, now glistening as they pooled in the corners of her eyes, escaping down her cheeks.

“My life, my body, my heart.’ She was whispering now, voice strained as she struggled with herself.

“My choice.”



He knew she was right, but it didn’t mean what he said wasn’t true. He told her that, and she sighed heavily, sitting back down on the couch, wiping at her face roughly.

“I’m not some idiot who’s living in fairy land, Remus,’ she said, looking at him through red rimmed eyes.

“When I first found out about you, I did a lot of reading. I learnt everything I could about lycanthropy; I wanted to be able to help you. Then, when I finally realised that I was attracted to you; that I wanted more than a friendship with you, I thought about all those things and whether I would be able to handle it all.’



She shook her head, eyes pained. ‘I know that we both will be treated badly by most of the wizarding world. I know that discrimination will make it almost impossible for you to get a good job, and that your condition could make it hard for me just by association. I know that some of my family won’t understand. I don’t give a damn about most of them, but I knew if mum and dad couldn’t handle it……’

She looked at him. ‘Which is why I told my parents about you at Christmas.’



Remus looked at her, surprised. She’d never told him her parents knew about him.

‘I’m sorry I didn’t ask you first, but I wanted to see their reaction,’ Krystal said, seeing his surprise. ’I won’t say they weren’t concerned, but they’ve seen who you really are, and they will learn to accept the rest. They are the only ones I care about: the rest can go to hell if they can‘t deal with it. And I know that lycanthropy may be hereditary - that if we stayed together and wanted children, it could be passed on.” She sighed.

‘I do want children, Remus. One day. I won’t pretend this was an easy choice for me, but as much as I want children, I want you more and if that is the way it has to be….’ She shrugged. ‘I’ll be a great godmother to Lily’s kids.’



He sat down. Looking at her, he felt a bit stunned. He’d never know that she’d learnt so much about his condition; that she had considered of all this and still wanted to be with him.

“I know all of it Remus, and I don’t care. I’m not saying that I think it will be easy, but that I’m willing to try. I wanted to try.”

She paused and took a deep breath. “But you didn’t have enough faith in me to talk about this.”



Remus slid along the couch quickly, reaching out for her hand, gripping it tightly. “That’s not true. Krys, I thought I was protecting you. I wanted something better for you. You deserve something better than that; better than me.”

“But I wanted you,’ she said softly, raising her hand to his face.

“More than you wanted me, I guess.”

She dropped her hand from his cheek, turning away but he put both his hands up to cup her face now.



He shook his head, saying, “I want you, Krys. I’ve wanted you from the first day I met you. I’ve had a crush on you for years, but it’s different now.” He had started now, and he had to tell her everything.

“It’s not a crush anymore. It’s so much stronger than that now. When all that stuff happened with Severus, all I wanted to do was be with you; to feel you holding me.’

He saw her trying hard not to cry and continued. ‘I heal quicker each month when you’re with me; I‘m stronger when I‘m with you.’

His lips were shaking now and he clenched his jaw to try and stop the trembling, blinking in an attempt to stop the tears rolling down his face. “I‘ve been miserable without you Krys. I hate that I did this to you, but I did it because I care about you - so much. I want you to be happy.’



Krystal was shaking as much as he was, tears stinging her eyes. “But you make me happy,‘ she said softly, looking up at him.

The look in her eyes nearly broke his heart. ‘You really hurt me,’ she told him, her voice breaking.

“I know.” He slid closer to her, his hands moving around to the back of her head. ‘I’m so sorry, Krys. I really did think I was doing the best thing for you.”

She knew he was telling the truth; he was an awful liar. He was staring at her, waiting for her to say something, anything.



She stook up abruptly. “I can’t do this. Not now. I don’t feel well,’ she said, closing her eyes.

Remus stood more slowly, watching as her face drained of what little colour it had.

‘Krys?’ he said, frowning. She shook her head and pushed past him, running up the stairs to the girls rooms.



Remus sank back down to the couch, unsure whether it was the Firewhiskey or the confrontation that had made Krystal ill, but he knew that she wouldn’t be back down tonight. He leant forward and put his head in his hands, pulling slightly at his hair. “What a mess,’ he muttered to himself.

“What?’ a voice said, and looking up, he saw Sirius, his face concerned.

“Did you hear all that?’ he asked, flopping back onto the cushions.

His friend nodded, admitting, “Most of it.” He sat next to Remus. “Are you alright?’ he asked.

When Remus nodded, he said, ”And is Krystal alright?”



Remus shook his head. “I don’t know. God!” He stood up, beginning to pace. “I am such an idiot. I should have talked to her about this; I should have had more faith in her.” Sirius watched him, ‘I’m not going to argue with you, Remus,’ he said. “You should have asked her what she wanted, but you were thinking about her when you did this. That’s got to count for something.”

Remus looked at him, a tear escaping down his cheek. ‘I hope so, Sirius.’