A Thief to Catch a Thief; a Death Eater to Catch a

In reply to comments posted.



• The votes for a leather-collared Snape are growing, so, I did a bit of fanfic magic and brought him back from the dead for you ladies! He’s currently chained to a spare bed; wearing a pair of black silk boxers, the dark mark and a sneer. There are several bottles of stamina potion on the side – so he can go al night. Form an ORDERLY queue in the hall. *moves out of way of small stampede* Lucius is ready for occasional borrowings, but Draco and Harry are still lonely. *pets Draco’s head and checks his collar isn’t too tight*.



• La Bib – Narcissa didn’t know how she was going to hire the room at the Leaky after Lucius threw her out. (chappie 5)



• Narcissa is too used to getting her own way, and I envision her moaning that Lucius had to work less; something he can’t do thanks to the first chapter – being an auror is preferable to being an Azkaban inmate! She’s an “auror widow”, but, in my opinion its better than being an “Azkaban widow”. I just wanted her out of the way nice and quickly. *sheepish look*



• Lucius doesn’t have a low libido in ANY sense – but as he remained faithful, he is probably more acquainted with “gentleman’s magazines”; madam palm and her five daughters and regular “self checks” for prostate cancer made pleasurable. I imagine him as a sensual person *strokes his long hair and blows kisses*, rather than a Sex-God, he knows a lot about his own body; but wasn’t given the chance to learn Narcissa’s.



• Hermione doesn’t need to ‘rev up’ Lucius; but she’ll be up for more than missionary. She’ll be the outlet for several fantasies (ideas accepted – tell me what you want, and I’ll adapt it for plot!) and an opportunity for him to experiment. He’s not had experimental sex since he was a teen – so he’s got a chance to learn lots of things.



• Spellings: working on it, Honest!



• Ah, the cha-cha slide – a must have (along with the YMCA, Macarena and oops upside your head) at an 18th birthday party, 21st birthday party and at wedding evening receptions (at least where I live)! I assure you, its hard enough to do in 3” heels, so doing it on the grid would take ENORMOUS skill. Its on you-tube as a video (actual dance, not beams), so have a watch if you’re not familiar with it. The bunnies made me write it – notice how they demand occasional mention in the fic?



• I really shouldn’t be so nasty to the accountants, my Mum is one! But my mum doesn’t have her head rammed up her... she’s brilliant, and I love her to bits. I mean no offence to accountants.



• The aurors are the crème-de-la-crème of the Ministry. You need top grades to get in initially; you then have a 4 year training program that pushes you to your limit and then keeps shoving; then you have to unselfishly risk your life for the good of a population of people. I see it as not many of the trainees will make it to graduation – they’ll either drop out because its too much, or be kicked out because they aren’t suitable.



• Calendars are available from the side tables in the bedrooms of your chosen wizard.



• Emails when I update aren’t something I want to do. Another author asked for information for a fic, I sent this person an email with a lot of information in it, I received an email in reply that was incredibly rude. One twit has spoilt it for all, and thus, my email will remain hidden. I in no way want to suggest that you WONDERFUL people would be so crass and horrid, but it has seriously put me off giving my email address to people who I don’t know. I apologise for this.



• Its coursework time of year for universities, and guess what I’m bogged down with? (Other than Lucius, but that’s NO hardship).



• Lucius’s muggle practices are just more noticeable because he was so anti-muggle before. I think the wizarding world could benefit from several muggle things (eg. the biro; lined paper; a communication system that doesn’t involve feathers; cinema; sports equipment; medicines… ect). Some muggle things will play a HUGE part in Lucius’s life in future chapters – and it won’t be Hermione who introduces them either (bet that has you intrigued, doesn’t it?).



• I don’t think Lucius’s personality has gone through forced changes, he’s been forced into a particular action, but nobody said his personality had to change. I think he’s grown as a character in this; he isn’t under the influence of Voldemort; he doesn’t have pureblood peer pressure bearing down on him; he, and his family were in life-risking situations. Plus, he is now given the opportunity to experience new things, and nobody will disown him from society or crucio him for it anymore. He, and his family are safe, and I think that is a major issue.



• Aquarius: I went back and faffed with it, so it should make more sense now.



• La Bib wants a 8x10 pikkie of Lucius’s calendar shot – I was thinking more along the lines of life-sized posters? Anyone agree?



• The “orgy meeting” minutes: they’re probably pinned on various other department’s notice boards, and will be laughed over during tea breaks. I think the junior minute taker will probably re-think her career.



• 5 stars are more than I could hope for! It’ll do for me, skydancer!!



• The I can look, but not touch is my DAD’s philosophy. And Mum says that’s fine, provided he’s not in strip clubs! Lol! (she caught that loophole! Lol! Not that my Daddy would visit a strip club… *shudders in yuckiness*)



• One down side of being a member of the EU, is that you have to put up with the Eurovision Song Contest (aka, the Eurovision throwing up contest)… but Lordi did BRILLIANT and won by a landslide! The UK, put a rubbish entry in, as per usual!



• I don’t think Hermione could become a giant mantis – the largest mantis is about 15cm (6”) long. But bits and pieces would be human-sized. I was wracking my brain about what to make Hermione, and listening to ‘Man Eater’, thus the bunnies had a lightbulb moment.



• Hermione would have made a brilliant Slytherin!! (in my opinion).



• La Bib, I wasn’t referring to the engergizer bunny – I was thinking more of the one you can buy from AnnSummers… lol! The plot bunnies want rabbit references – I give them what they want, it’s less painful for me. *hides from plot bunny*.



• I gave Draco more than a friend to play with…



• Hermione isn’t with Lucius at this point, they’re just really good colleagues, who are being very flirty lately. Lucius is still a bit relationship-shy, and Hermione respects that (but not for long…).



• ALL the couples dancing the bedroom tango?? I may have to decline that request – I don’t know how I’d write half of my original characters in those situations!



• And people like my first chappie disclaimer – me too, and so does Lucius *pets wizard*.

















Friends with benefits.





The planning department cemented their reputation as incompetent when the portkeys they’d organised to take the revellers home were far from perfect. Hermione and Lucius landed in the Malfoy Manor kitchen, to be exact: standing in the kitchen sink; Draco and Jess ended up in the peacock aviary, stood in the metre high compost heap. Harry and Ginny’s portkey set them down on the roof of number 12; Kingsley and Rita were dropped to the tile floor of Kingsley’s bathroom (not that the position they landed in was a hardship in any way, shape or form); the Minister and his wife found themselves in the garden shed.



“I. Need. A. Bath.” Hissed Jess as she and Draco walked to the front door of the house.



“Me too. Shall we share?” Draco said, his scowl turning into a cheeky grin.



“You want to share a bath with a woman wearing three foot of bird shit?”



“Only because its you – I’d much prefer you covered in white chocolate.” Draco shrugged, sending himself a mental note to claim compensation for his red trousers. He could afford to buy a thousand more pairs, but he wanted to show up the twits that had ruined his evening. Standing in three feet of peacock manure was a real turn off.



“You and your sweet tooth.” Jess said, shaking her head.



“Care to indulge my sweet tooth tonight?” he purred in her ear, imagining her drizzled in the creamy confection.



“Hmmm… only if we can indulge mine.” Jess loved bitter dark chocolate, and had a handy stash hidden from Lucius in the Malfoy kitchen cold room.



Draco and Jess finally remembered they were magical, and gave themselves a thorough scourgify before entering the house. Draco grasped her hand firmly before sprinting down to the kitchen with her. Jess had no trouble keeping up with him, thanks to her auror training.



“Here, kitchen. There’s a fondue set in here somewhere, I’d ask the House elves, but they don’t know where you hid your chocolate.” Draco said, opening the heavy wooden door.



“Arrgh!” he cried, covering his eyes and slamming the door. Jess giggled at his reaction. “Nobody should have to see a parent doing that!” he cried, pushing his hair out of his eyes.



“Your House Elves will have a fit – they prepare food on that table.” She almost burst out laughing at Draco’s horrified expression, “I’ll accio the chocolate and two bowls, a warming charm should do the job.”



“Mmmmh, Aaaah, Nuhh, Oh Merlin, so tiiiiiiiiight…” groaned Lucius, Draco closing the door as soon as the chocolate and bowls had passed through the tiny gap he’d opened.



“How about we go have a bath, melt the chocolate and give them a run for their money.” Jess soothed, she’d lost count of the number of times she’d walked in on her very passionate parents – yes it was embarrassing, but Draco’s reaction was rather over the top.



“That’s an excellent…”



“Oh… mmmm… oh, oh… ahhh! Oh Gods, Lucius!” screeched Hermione.



“Can’t two aurors cast a silencing charm?” he whimpered, screwing his eyes shut.



Jess flicked her wand at the door, silencing the cries of completion coming from Hermione. That witch had a set of lungs on her! “Come on, I have a craving for chocolate coated Dragon.” She took his hand and pulled him towards his suite.






A/N: No idea why chapter 11 went up twice! I know the plot bunnies multiply, but that was a little odd. lol! All sorted out now!