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Ch. 11: What once was


Sorry it’s been so long. I hope you like this. I have up tp sh 16 written so it’ll be updated more regularly.





“So?” Harry whispered to Severus the next day at breakfast.

“What on earth are you mumbling on about?” Snape complained.

“Keep your voice down!” The younger man hushed frantically. “Sirius and Remus, what where they talking about yesterday during our…disagreement.”

“I’d hardly call all of us crumbling under the pressure of one day in prison a disagreement and…not now.” Snape warned.

“They’re all tucked in to this miserable slop the ministry sanctions as a meal. It’s the perfect time. C’mon Sev, please?” Severus found himself comforted by the normalcy of the sound of Potter whining. The fact that the boy’s eyes glimmered with hope allowed Severus to feel the same. Even though they were locked up in the most feared fortress in the wizarding world, Harry managed to maintain his child like innocence. The thought of solving some mystery or indulging in a bit of gossip brought him joy. Severus loved the man in front of him.

He sighed. “Black what’s the shower policy in this hellhole?”

“Once a week at your request. It’s two at a time but down think for a second that, that is a place where you can ravage my godson.” Sirius attempted to quell any of Snape’s romantic notions of a soapy rendezvous with his newly bonded.

“Sirius!” Lupin chastised. “I think showers are a wonderful idea. They may brighten our spirits a bit.” He looked to his wife for support.

“You’re right. I’ll stick with Hermione so as none of you get any ideas.” Tonks disapproving look fell solely on Ron.

“Oy! What’d I do?” Ron defended indignantly.

“I’ll go with Ol’ Dumbles Ron. You can have George.” Fred comforted his younger brother.

“Thanks mate.” Ron stared at the floor.

“That just leaves us old friend.” Remus grinned sadly at Sirius. Sirius in turn knocked three times in sequence on the cold steal door.

“What is it Black?” A gruff voice yelled from behind the door.

“Showers. Whenever you find yourself with a spare bit of time.” He chirped sarcastically. There was an uneasy moment of silence.

“Pair yourselves up. Two of you stand by the door. The rest of you remain in your bunks!” The unknown man ordered. Harry and Snape begrudgingly did as they were told.

A large, cloaked wizard slammed open the door, wand pointed. “Name’s Rylis.” He stammered.

“Pleasure.” Severus Deadpanned.

“Have to say it’s an honor to meet you Harry Potter.” He shook Harry’s hand eagerly.

“I might share the sentiment if I weren’t pissing in a hole.”

“Alright on with it then, this way.” He led them down several long corridors and halted at a rusted locked door. I was instructed to allow you ten minutes but…well you’re Harry Potter after all. Just knock when you’re done.” Snape grumbled something that could scarcely be considered a reply and entered the cold room. It’s frigid stone floor was coated with years of neglect. The half curtain that separated two stalls was seeped in mildew. Snape’s thoughts were squelched with a thundering kiss. He wrapped his strong arms around the younger man, allowing himself to bask in the warmness of his lovers lips once more. He granted them a single moment before backing slightly away.

“Sev don’t you want…” Harry’s eyes were glazed with confusion.

“More that I dare admit Harry, but not here.” HE ran his hand gently down his bonded’s cheek. “I’ve spent to much of my time in dark cellars during my time as a deatheater. I’ll not taint you in one of them.” He held Harry against his chest. “I love you.” He breathed into a mess of hair.

“Even though I’ve got you locked in Azkaban?” Harry grinned ridiculously.

“With my lifestyle it was only a matter of time. At least this way it’ll prove far from dull.”

Harry drew in breath. “So what of Sirius and Lupin?” He was eager to learn something of his Godfather’s past. The man had proved to be somewhat of an enigma.

“Their story began long ago.” Snape seemed almost bitter as he began the story. He had started removing his clothes, Harry followed suit. “They met their first year at Hogwarts then they were always together for the next seven years. It was annoying really.” Snape grumbled at the memory. “They bonded the day after graduation. They lived as one for three years before Voldemort killed your parents and Black was framed then sent away. Lupin promptly had their bond nullified. He couldn’t stand the thought of being bonded to the man who killed his best friends. It was years before he discovered the truth. He was devastated that he hadn’t trusted Sirius. For a small time those of us in the order had him holed up in the castle, fearing he would hurt himself.”

Harry gasped. “He planned to kill himself?”

“There was a private meeting with Dumbledore that none of us attended. Remus lived in the castle for six months after that. When Black escaped they planned on re-entering their bond but then…you know the end of that tale.” Harry rinsed off his shampoo before opening his eyes.

“So they were like us?”

“No. They had a choice to bond to one another.”

“So did we.” Harry stated this as if he hadn’t an idea of what Snape was intimating. Snape’s heart beamed with pride.

“They loved each other.” Harry wondered aloud.

“I suspect they still do.” Severus pondered.

“How where they able to get out of their bond? I thought they were forever.”

“Don’t get your hopes up.” Snape said, looking away.

“That’s not what I meant and you know it…idiot.” He smiled and squeezed the shoulder of the man who was dressing in front of him.

“Our bond is old magic. We don’t have separate souls anymore, we share the same. The more common bonds bind two souls together. They are permanent unless one partners soul turns dark, which they believed Black’s had.”

“Are Remus and Tonks bonded?”

“No. It’s rare for wizards to enter into a soul bond. It won’t take unless they are soul mates. Rather then know the truth most opt for a simple marriage.”

Harry pushed his body into Snape’s. “Will we marry?” Such an effortless question brought forth emotions Severus was unaware he possessed.

“Is that to say you’ll have me?” The potions master’s voice choked.

“When we leave here…” Harry promised. “…will you be my husband?”

“Forever Harry.” Snape swore an oath.

“Forever.” Harry kissed him quickly before knocking on the door.

*** *** ***

“Do we use the curtain?” Sirius questioned meekly upon entering the shower room. “You are a married man.” Black’s comment stung.

The werewolf hung his head in shame. “Sirius…don’t.” He pleaded. “Please…just don’t.”

“No. Enlighted me Remus. I obviously don’t know how this is supposed to work.” Black bit back.

“Shower.” Remus ordered quietly. A pained silence reigned over the uneasy couple. Both men bathed quickly, neither daring to glance at the other. Remus cursed himself for the direction he had allowed his life to take. “Sirius I…” He owed his past lover an explanation.

“I cant…Moony don’t do this to me.” Sirius finally gave into the heaviness of his sorrow and crumpled to the floor, the weight of it all crushing him. Remus had him before he hit the unforgiving concrete. “You were my bonded!” He screamed. “My husband!”

“I’m sorry…sorry.” Lupin begged though torrents of tears. “Sirius please!” Tired hands grabbed at somnolent flesh.

“You left me!” Sirius accused locking eyes with Lupin. “Things got rough and you left me!”

“You were already gone…” Lupin whispered. “I waited Sirius…I waited a lifetime for you to return.” He slammed his fist into the floor.

“You didn’t! You believed them! You thought I did it! …How could you think I did it?” Sirius stared up at his love though anguished eyes.

“Padfoot it…there was evidence…witnesses. The war had been hard on all of us I just thought…You got lost in it.” Lupin was ashamed to admit it.

“You knew me Remus! You knew my soul! You should have known that I could never…you should have known.” Both men had succumb to their storm of tears.

“Forgive me Padfoot…forgive me.” Lupin implored.

“You married.” Sirius reminded.

“You died. What would you have had me do?”

“I loved you Remus!” Black clung to the other man desperately. “I love you. I could never stop. When I was in here it was thoughts of you that kept me from going mad.” He buried his face in Lupin’s neck. “I love you damn it.”

“I know.” Lupin admitted sadly. “I’ve always loved you Sirius…always.” Remus tentatively lowered his lips to a kiss he feared he’d never feel again. The men wept harder as their mouths merged into one, years of longing channeled into one solitary gesture of acceptance. They were back in the arms that loved them. Nothing else mattered.

“Padfoot I must confess something.” Lupin cried, his hands knotted in the other’s dark hair. It was time.

“What is it?” Sirius feared the worst.

“Our bond…” Remus inhaled sharply. “I didn’t…I tried but I couldn’t…I wouldn’t have survived if I had it nullified. I couldn’t bare it.” Tears fell without mercy.

Sirius’ eyes widened in shock. “You mean to say we’re still…you’re still mine?”

“How could you ever doubt it Sirius?” They remained seated under the drizzling water. “I was always yours. That’ll never change.”

“Tonks.” Sirius abruptly pulled himself away from his beloved. “We have to nullify it…she cant…”

“I wont.” Lupin finished it. “I wouldn’t do it then and I certainly will not do it now that I have you back.

“I can’t share you.” Sirius shook his head.

“I’m not asking you too. When we leave here I’ll explain everything to her. I love her Sirius but nothing compares to you. It was always you…you have my heart.” Remus kissed him again softly. “We need to go, they’ll be worried about us.”

“I can’t believe I have you back.” Sirius smiled broadly.

“Baby I was never gone.”






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