Saving Their Lives

A/N:
Hi everyone...Sorry for the update, but I wasn't sure where to go...Let me know what you think of this...


Harry left the infirmary and headed back towards his dorm room in the Gryffindor tower. Madame Pomfrey, his mother, and Severus had finally agreed that his memories were stable enough for him to resume his normal activities. He was happy to be able to control his thoughts now and not have the memories overwhelm him. He had done what Severus had suggested and wrote down every memory that he could recall. The two of them had spent hours together talking about all that Harry had remembered from his past pertaining to the treatment he had received from Severus. Severus had cried and apologized and Harry, in his usual carefree manner, had forgiven him. He still recalled the final battle in his first life and the pensive that he had viewed. He knew that Severus did what he could in the end to redeem himself.

Harry had spent many happy hours enjoying his mother. He relished their time together and thanked the gods several times a day that she was now, and had always been a part of his life. He was sad about his father not making it, but he could still remember eleven years with him that he did not have the first time around. He now had a beautiful little sister and a wonderful step-father that was there for him whenever he needed him.
Violet was a character. She was even more stubborn than Harry and demanded his attention constantly. She refused to be put off when he was busy or uninterested in her. She had a way of making her presence known, much like her father. For all the years he had spent wishing for a family, and most especially a brother or sister, he was grateful for her. He spent hours reading to her and talking to her about what ever topic she brought up. She was intelligent and quick witted, and already had her father’s biting humor. She had also learned how to bat her pretty green eyes and wrap Harry around her tiny finger.

The best part of his quiet time spent in the infirmary had been the unguarded moments with Hermione. The two of them had been able to snuggle together in the narrow bed after Madame Pomfrey had retired for the night, just holding each other and speaking of all that Harry remembered. He still felt a pang of regret that he had so drastically changed the lives of his closest friends, but he wouldn’t change the fact that Hermione was now his. She was intelligent and loyal to a fault. She was kind, loving and generous, and she owned Harry’s heart and soul. When she touched him Harry felt fire shoot through his veins and he couldn’t imagine being with anyone else but her.

“Oi! Harry!” he heard, interrupting his personal reflections. He turned around and grinned when he saw the tall red headed twins.

“Fred! George!” he laughed. “What are you doing here?”

“Mum told us what you did,” George said, reaching out to pull Harry into a hug.

“And we just wanted to thank you,” Fred continued, also engulfing the young man in his strong embrace.

“Hey! It wasn’t any big deal,” he said blushing.

“Not a big deal?” George asked incredulously. “You saved my brother’s life!” he exclaimed.

“My life is most certainly a big deal, as is George’s ear!” Fred said in mock seriousness. “We owe you a wizard’s debt, Harry,” he said reaching for his wand.

“No!” Harry said reaching for Fred’s wand and snatching it out of his hand. “Don’t do it! I didn’t do what I did to be noble or expect something in return. I did what I did because I OWED YOU!” he said. “You two stood by me whenever everyone else turned against me, including Ron. You two were my friends when the rest of the world thought that I was an insane liar. I owed you, not the other way around!” There was no way he was going to accept anything else from the two of them.

Fred and George both started to argue but Harry stormed, “NO! I won’t have it! You owe me nothing and we won’t speak of this again!” He shoved Fred’s wand back to him and turned and walked down the hall. After a second of thought he turned again and asked, “By the way, who are you two with?”

Looking perplexed at each other for a moment George answered, “I’m with Luna Lovegood, and Fred is in between witches at the moment. Luna and I are going to be married at Christmas time.”

Harry shook his head and walked away. George and Luna, what a strange couple! He never would have guessed that one! As he walked he remembered that the two of them had met at the twin’s store. Luna had gone in there by mistake and bumped into George last summer. Harry had been there with Ron laughing at some of their new products.

“Another Weasley,” she exclaimed. “I’d know you anywhere. You all look like snifferrougues!” she had told him with a grin.

“Gazoontie!” George had said with a laugh.

Luna had smiled serenely at him. “It was a compliment you know,” she said. She reached up and brushed his long red hair out of his eye. “You have such lovely eyes,” she told him.

“All the witches say that,” he joked.

“Do they all tell you that you have the smile of a toothalofagus?”

“What’s a toothalofagus?” he asked, intrigued.

“You’re so silly! Everyone knows what a toothalofagus is!” she laughed in her light tinkled sound.

George had turned to Harry and Ron. “Do you know what a toothalofagus is?” he had asked, knowing that they didn’t.

Harry grinned and said, “Of course I do, mate. Everyone knows what a toothalofagus is!”

Ron snickered. “Duh, George, even I know what a toothalofagus is!”

George knew that they were putting one over on him so he turned back to the still smiling Luna and said, “Perhaps I can treat you to a glass of butterbeer and we can discuss it.”

Luna reached out and took George’s hand. “Of course,” she said pulling him out of the store.

Ron and Harry turned to each other and laughed. “What the hell is a toothalofagus?”

Harry stood in front of the fat lady’s painting and wondered what the password was. He couldn’t remember. Several things floated through his mind and he tried them all but she still refused to open the portal. “Come on, you know who I am!” he cried in defeat.

“No password, no admittance,” she said in her singsong voice.

“My step-father is the headmaster!” he exclaimed.

“My father was the Duke of Ireland!” she laughed. “Can’t open without a password!”

“Come on!” he said. “Can’t you make an exception just this once?”

“Shame on you! You should know your password!” she giggled.

Rolling his eyes in disgust he turned and walked towards the headmaster’s tower. He was sure the Severus would give him the password. As he walked down the corridor he could see the bright sun shining in through the castle windows. He decided that he needed a walk. He had been confined in his hospital bed for several days and fresh air suddenly sounded wonderful. He changed his direction and headed down the stairs and out the front doors, quickly walking towards the lake. He stood on the side of the lake looking out at the murky water.

He remembered the Tri-Wizard tournament where he had to rescue Ron from the Merfolk. He remembered the awful tasting gillyweed that Neville had stolen from Severus for him and then with a stabbing pain he remembered the death of Neville Longbottom. Neville had been collecting blue lake grass that grew in the lake for his herbology assignment when he was grabbed by Grindylows. He had not been able to free himself and he had drowned. This had only happened several weeks ago. Harry felt the tears fall down his face for the dear friend that he had lost. Neville had been strong and brave and had worked alongside him to win the war. He had been instrumental in the death of Voldemort. He felt a moment of reprieve when he also recalled that Neville had grown up happy with his parents and three younger brothers. Alice and Frank Longbottom had never been tortured by Bellatrix in this life.

He turned away from the lake and the painful memory and walked along the grounds. His actions had changed so many things. It seemed like for each good thing that came about another bad followed. He hoped that given the choice, Neville would have chosen almost eighteen years with his parents and an early death versus the pain he felt over their absence. He followed the trail to Hagrids hut and stopped up short when he realized that the hut was no longer there. Harry suddenly doubled over in pain when he recalled Hagrid’s violent death.

His dear friend from his first life had also been a wonderful friend in this one. After the war was over and
Voldemort was defeated and Giants had felt betrayed. Promises had been made to them in order to encourage them to the light side. When the war ended and the dust settled the Ministry had not kept its word. The giants had blamed Hagrid as he was their middleman and they had come in the middle of the night and taken him away, torturing him to death. They had found his body several days later.

“I wondered if you would come here,” Hermione said coming up behind him.

“Gods, Mione! Hagrid’s dead!” he cried wrapping his arms around her. The pain was overwhelming. He remembered so much, but he forgot so much as well. First Neville and now Hagrid. What else had he forgotten?

“I’m sorry, Harry,” she soothed, holding him tight as he sobbed. “I hadn’t realized that you would not know.”

“Neville as well. I forgot that Neville had died,” he sobbed.

Hermione kissed the tears that flooded down his face and tried to sooth him. Another thought came to him. “Harry, do you remember that Remus and Sibyll died on their honeymoon last year?”

Harry pulled back and looked at her blankly. “Who?” He then remembered his first life when Remus married Tonks and they had Teddy and named Harry as his godfather. He remembered that they had died in the final battle. He then saw the memories of Remus and Sibyll Trelawney falling in love and getting married. She had seen a wedding in her tea cup one morning and knew that she was meant to marry Remus. Remus had been terrified, but in the end Sibyll had gotten her wish and married the man she loved. They had gone to Muggle Paris and had died in an explosion in a subway tunnel that had nothing to do with magic.

“Harry, perhaps we should go back to the infirmary,” Hermione said, worried.

“Remus was married to Tonks. They had a little boy named, Teddy, who I was the godfather of,” he said sadly, knowing that they adorable baby would never be born.

“But Tonks is married to Percy, Harry,” she said in confusion.

“Oh yuck!” Harry cried. “How could she marry that git!” he demanded, remembering everything that he had said and done and the pain that he had put his family through.

“But Harry, he’s like your brother!” Hermione exclaimed.

“No!” he hissed and then remembered all the times that they had laughed and joked together when they were young. He remembered all the times he had come to Harry’s house with the rest of the Weasley clan and all the time that Harry had spent at his house. Percy had been his friend. He recalled Percy showing him how to best Ron at wizard’s chest and how Percy had helped him get through the grief of his father dying and how he had also gave him transfiguration lessons. “Gods! Nothing is making any sense to me!” Harry said dropping to the ground and clutching his head.

“I don’t know how to make this better for you, Harry,” Hermione said with tears in her eyes. “I don’t know what you know and what you don’t.”

“I feel like I’ve ruined everyone’s life!”

“But Harry, how could you have ruined everyone’s life? Look at how many people you saved!”

“But so many more are dead who weren’t dead before! I’ve just exchanged one set of lives for another!”

“How can you say that? Nobody knows that they had a different life. They only know what is happening now. You can’t ruin something unless they know that you’ve ruined it, and nobody knows!”

“What if they find out? What if everyone hates me?”

“How can they find out? You were the only one there. Nobody else had the memories that you do.”

“But Hermione, I know! I know that before Sirius lived several more years before he died. I know that Peter Pettigrew lived, Neville, Hagrid, Trelawney, and Teddy. Now they are either dead or never existed. Now my mother, sister, Severus, and Fred are alive, but how many other people have I affected without knowing? I am such a selfish arse!” he shouted. “I didn’t think this through! You always said that I jump right in without thinking things through. This is turning out to be the biggest mistake ever!” he cried in despair. He was wracked with guilt and didn’t know if he could stand it. “Hermione, what about Cedric Diggory? Is he alive?”

Hermione nodded. “He’s the seeker for the Cannons. Ron talks about him all the time. He is doing well,” she said, hoping this would cheer him up.

Harry nodded. He knew in his current life that the two of them never crossed paths. In his past life, he had been the cause of his death. “I killed him before,” Harry admitted.

“No!” Hermione gasped. “Harry!”

He sat on the ground and cried. “What have I done?” he sobbed. How could he have been so irresponsible? He didn’t want to be the person who caused the death of so many people.

Hermione didn’t know what to do. He was inconsolable. “It’s not your fault, Harry,” she said again.

“Yes, it is! I made the choice to go back and save them! I didn’t think about anyone else but my own needs!” he sobbed.

“Yes you did, Harry! You thought about your parents, and their needs. You thought about the Weasley’s and how they felt. You warned them of who they could trust and not. You were the reason that the Malfoy family switched sides and the reason that Voldemort was defeated.”

“He was defeated in my first life. The Malfoy’s also switched sides then. Narcissa saved my life in the final battle.”

“Arguing over which life is better or worse won’t help, Harry! It’s done! You can’t change it again!” Hermione hissed. “I don’t want to be married to Ron!” she joked.

“But what if it’s not done? What if I went back again, only this time to stop myself?” he asked.


A/N: Well, review already!!!!!