Close To Crazy

Apologies, Explanation, & Hurt.

Draco sat up and leaned his elbows on his knees, and stared the ginger haired man in the eye.
“You had brothers, and a sister and a father who cared for you. I never had that. Not once. I never had my father care about my scraped knees, or when I caught a ball. While you were playing outside, I was learing manners. While you were being a kid, I was growing up. Granted that does not excuse the way I treated you, Harry, or Ms.Granger but that’s the reason.” Draco got up and walked up to Ron. “I’m sorry Ron. I’m sorry for the way I treated you and you friends. I’m sorry.” Ron just looked at him, and Draco looked at Harry, “I tried.” Draco raised his shoulders and turned around heading towards the kitchen.
“Why now?” Ron blurted out, “Why after eighteen years did you suddenly grow a conscience?” The blonde turned and looked at him again,
“I did not suddenly ‘grow’ a conscience. I have had one my whole life, I just never used it. And I didn’t wait eighteen years Weasley, I left as soon as the War was over. I did not keep in contact with anyone, no a single person from this world. Therefore, I had no way to apologize for what a rotten brat I was,” Draco sniffed “and to be perfectly honest you were not all sunshine and dasies yourself.” Ron floundered, “And futher more,” Draco looked at Harry, now the blonde was on a roll, “I want to know what the hell is up with you?!”
“What? What do you mean?”
“You say 'what' to much, don’t you listen? I asked what the hell is up with you? We had this conversation once before and the answer you gave was 'I don't know'. Well I'm not buying it anymore bub. First you defend me, and I use that term veryloosely, in court.” Draco ticked off his fingers like a list “then you feed me, give me clothes, and food. And then you stand up for me to your best friend. What is up with you Potter? What are you playing at?”
“Merlin! Why is everyone asking me that?! Can’t I just be a nice person?” Harry asked exasparated
“Potter you are one of the nicest people I have ever met, but still you defended me, a Malfoy.”
“Goddamit your not a Malfoy! Your Draco! Your God damn motherfucking DRACO!” Draco pulled back in surprise,
“Ummm…” Ron said, Harry snapped his mouth shut and Draco was certain he was more confused then he had ever been in his whole life.
“I’m not playing at anything,” Harry said calmly after a few minuets “I just, I think that you are innoccent and you should change your name. Your last name.”
“To what?” Draco asked
“Po-arker.” Harry stumbled, Draco raised an eyebrow
“Parker?”
“I don’t know! But your not related to that bastard anymore! You shouldn’t have his last name! That’s all you need to do, just get rid of your last name!” Harry nearly shouted,
“Harry, I don’t understand-”
“I know what happened to you Draco.” Harry said softly,
“What do you mean?”
“When…when you got the Dark-Mark.” Draco’s face darkened considerably,
“Really?” he spat, “And what happened Potter?” Harry flinched. Ron looked immensley confused,
“What are you talking about Harry?” Ron asked,
“Yes Harry, what are you talking about?” Harry looked ay Ron and then back at Draco, who looked as if Draco had possed a wand he would have Aveda Kedavra’d his ass right there.
“Nothing, never mind…I don’t know what Im talking about.” Harry started to move away but Draco grabbed his arm,
“No, no, no Harry. Tell Ron what you meant, tell me what you meant.” Draco said his voice coated with a sickly sweetness. Harry swallowed and mentaly kicked the crap out of himself, he swore to himself that he would not say anything!
“After you got the Dark-Mark…” Harry sturttered
“Yes?” Draco encouraged, what sounded almost like madness in his voice,
“There w-was a ceremony, and your father-”
“Wait,” Draco inturrpted “you have to explain what the Ceremony is about Harry. You can't just say there was one all willy-nilly like that you have to explain why.” Harry gave the smaller man a pleading look.
“Draco, please I-”
“You brought it up Potter,” he narrowed his eyes to tiny slits, “now finish it.” Harry had survived two out of three Unforgiveable curses, defeated the Dark Lord, and stared down the face of death most of his life and yet he never felt more frightened then he did in this moment.
“The Ceremony represents the cutting off of your childhood-”
“Look at me Harry.” Harry’s eyes snapped to cold silver ones,
“and so…” Harry’s eyes drifted momentarily to Ron wh looked as if he was going to be ill,
“And so…” Draco’s voice dripped with distain,
“They take away the last part of your childhood.Your Virginity.”
“And who does that Harry? And why that particular person?” Draco’s voice changed to mock curisioty,
“Your father, because no one is good enough for a Malfoy except anout Malfoy.” Harry whispered his voice broken.
“THAT’S RIGHT!” Draco shrieked “NO ONE IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR A MALFOY! So there you have it Mr.Weasley! That’s why I left! Because daddy just could not get enough taste of his sweet little boy’s ASS!” Draco looked at them his eyes wild, “And I deserved every minuet of it! Right? Right?!” Ron shook his head furiously, “Oh come on! I was such a brat! Such a ponce! Such a dirty discusting little pieceof shit! Did you know that He caught me tounching Blaise when we were ten?! He beat me so badly that night, told me ‘no son of mine is going to be a fag!’ Which des hold some irony doesn't it?! Cause after that 'Ceremony' he just couldn't get enough his poncy little son! But I bet you knew that didn’t you Potter since you seem to know s damn much!”
“Draco please-”
“I bet that’s why you’ve been so fucking nice to me! ‘Poor little Draco! His daddy raped him so we gotta be a little civil!’” Draco started to hyperventilate “I had it coming though right?! Come on Weasley I can always count on you to be honest with me!” Ron just forcefully shook his head again Draco looked back at Harry, “I fucking hate you Harry James Potter! I hate you! Do you hear me?! I hate you!” Harry reached out to grab for Draco, unoticed tears streaming down his face “Don’t touch me! Don’t you fucking come near me! I don’t want to infect you with filth! God I’m so dirty! So damn dirty!” Draco franticly pulled at his clothes trying to get them off, “So dirty! So filthy! Such a nasty little pounce! Welcome to the club Draco! Welcome, Welocome, WELCOME! God! Get it off! Get him OFF OF ME!” the blonde got his shirt off and scurbbed at his skin trying to scratch away the memory. When blood started to seep from the wounds on Draco's, Harry lurched forward and grabbed Draco by the waist, stopping his arms from harming himself any further. Harry pulled Draco down and wrapped his arms around the smaller man,
“Draco…please I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Draco pushed him away weakly, but to no avail. Harry held on and pressed his lips to the white blonde hair, “Please forgive me Draco. I'm so sorry.” Harry kissed Draco’s hair, continuing to mumer softly, and Draco sobbed uncontrolabley into his chest. Eighteen years of pain spilling out and Ron did the only thing he could think of, he wrapped his arms around his best friend and former enemy in hopes that he could some how absorb some of the pain the small blonde had endured. And somehow, Ron knew, things would never be the same.

TBC!!!

this blows...