Better This Way

The Wedding

Hermione splashed the cool water over her face again. Viktor had taken a room at the Leaky Cauldron at Jane’s insistence.


“Hermione needs to get ready tomorrow, and you aren’t meant to see her before the wedding,” she had said.


The wedding wasn’t for several more hours. It wasn’t as if Hermione were a muggle, and needed several hours to get herself ready.


She thought back to the last time she had taken extra care to get herself ready for Viktor. It was the night of the Yule ball, back at Hogwarts when she was fourteen years old. That had been her first date. She remembered the excited butterflies she had in her stomach then. She had a strange feeling in her stomach now, but it certainly wasn’t excited butterflies. If Hermione had to describe it, she would say it felt like a two-ton rock.


She studied her reflection. She couldn’t believe how small she looked. She didn’t know if it was because she was taking such a huge step in life that made her feel this way, or if it were something else. Shrugging, she grabbed a towel off the rack and dabbed her face with it.


She walked down the hall to her childhood bedroom. She flopped onto the bed with a big sigh. Was she really making the right decision? She had asked herself this question about a million times. She rose from her bed and crossed over to the wardrobe. She fingered the material of her wedding robes.


The velvet robes had be gorgeous. These seemed so ugly and plain in comparison. Don’t be ridiculous, Hermione thought to herself. These are perfectly lovely.


She heaved a sigh and trudged downstairs for breakfast. She was sure her mother would be ready and waiting. She really knew her mother was excited for her, and she felt guilty that she couldn’t get as excited herself.


“Oh, there’s my baby!” Jane crooned. “Here, I made you a fruit plate and some toast,” she said cheerily. “After all, we wouldn’t want you to bloat before your wedding.”


“Thanks, Mum,” Hermione said sarcastically before sitting down to the fruit plate.


It was going to be a long day indeed.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Severus stared into the bottom of his water goblet. He wondered if he had made a mistake in letting Rosmerta go. Sure, he didn’t love her, and no, she didn’t compare to Hermione at all, but she was still a warm body. She was still someone to shag, and someone to be with. Perhaps I should call on her he thought to himself, swirling his gravy with a slice of crusty bread. If he hadn’t let Rosmerta go, he wouldn’t have had Hermione one last time, and no one at all was worth trading that for.


He thought for a moment, and then said softly to his goblet “Brandy.” The goblet filled slowly, and he took a leisurely sip. At least he could make the blasted water goblet useful.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Hermione looked at her reflection again. She felt like she was staring into the eyes of a stranger . She had charmed her hair into a sensible bun, allowing wispy curls to frame her face. She wore minimal makeup. She lifted her dress slightly, to view her shoes again. Sensible ivory flats. She couldn’t help but think if she were marrying someone else, she might have gone to further lengths to make herself look beautiful.


You’re a little old to be believing in fairy tales, she told herself, smoothing her dress down again.


“Oh, you look so beautiful, Darling! Like a dream!” Jane Granger squealed, as she came into the bathroom where Hermione was getting ready.


“Thanks, Mum,” Hermione said wistfully.


“What’s the matter, Dear?” Jane asked, the smile fading from her face.


“Noth-nothing, Mum,” Hermione said, turning her attention back to the mirror.


“Are you sure, Dear? You seem to be having second thoughts,” Jane said, giving her daughter’s shoulder a gentle squeeze.


Hermione swallowed.


“No, no of course not. I love Viktor. He will make a great husband,” Hermione said unconvincingly.


“Well, if you’re sure,” Jane trailed off.


“I know you and Dad love him,” Hermione said tucking a curl behind her ear.


“Only because he seems to make you happy dear,” Jane said sincerely. “All we want is for you to be happy.”


“And grandchildren,” Hermione added, face reddening a bit.


“Well, I would be a liar to say I wasn’t ready for some grandchildren, but I would never expect you to marry someone you didn’t love just to have children,” Jane said, looking into Hermione’s eyes.


“But the wink, at Christmas. I sort of got the feeling that you put him up to proposing,” Hermione said.


“No, dear of course not! He came to us for permission before he asked you.,” Jane said, hugging Hermione.


“Oh,” Hermione said, looking at the floor.


“Are you sure this is what you want?” Jane asked her daughter seriously.


Hermione hesitated.


“Yes,” she said, as if to herself. “Yes, of course. Viktor is a good man, and will make a great husband. Perhaps you should go and see if they are ready for me,” Hermione said, gesturing toward the door.


“Well, yes. Of course,” Jane said, looking at her daughter with concern before leaving the bathroom.


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Severus stared at the ceiling again. He wondered how long he would feel like this. He wondered if he would ever want to do anything besides nurse his last bottle of brandy. Sweet, sweet Rosmerta. The woman had thought she was the source of his depression.


Yes, he supposed he could call it that now. Depression. She refused to give him any more brandy for at least a week. He figured he could give Aberforth Dumbledore a visit, but that would require going to the Hog’s Head. He’s wait the week, and get some more bottles from Rosmerta.


He hoped that wherever Hermione was, she was happy. She deserved happiness.


“No, that’s not true,” He said aloud. “I hope she’s fucking miserable.”


He didn’t really want her to be miserable. He just didn’t want to hurt anymore. After all, he had hurt her enough. She didn’t deserve to hurt anymore. She was marrying Krum so that she wouldn’t hurt anymore.


He wondered if she looked at Krum the same way she looked at him. He wondered if her eyes held such desire and such passion when she looked at Krum. The idea that she might sickened him. He took another swig of brandy and rolled over to go to sleep.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


Hermione stared at the double doors. Any second they were about to be opened so that she could walk down the aisle and get married. She took several deep breaths.


“You look like a minx in that dress,” she heard Severus’ voice breathe into her ear.


She willed herself to push the memory away. That is what he had said to her the night of their first “date.” Well, it wasn’t a date so much as both being in the same place at the same time, and having a massive amount of drinks. Those were the first words spoken to turn their innocent drinks into a passionate affair.


Hermione clutched her bouquet of white gardenias closer to her chest as the double doors opened, and she heard the familiar sound of the wedding march being played on an ancient organ.


“I’d love to take you upstairs if you would let me,” he said, nibbling her ear slightly.


Hermione shuddered, and tried to keep her focus on Viktor, who was standing at the end of the aisle.


“You’re so hot I don’t know how I’m going to control myself,” Severus’ voice breathed into her ear.


Hermione’s eyes began to tear as she reached Viktor. She couldn’t even hear the minister’s words, because her head was swimming with images of Severus. Her head was filled with his voice. She locked her eyes on Viktor.


“I could stay like this forever,” she heard Severus breathe.


“Miss,” the minister said softly, bringing Hermione from her reverie.


Hermione looked at him.


“Do you?” he repeated.


Hermione looked at Viktor as a tear spilled down her cheek.


“Viktor, I’m so sorry,” Hermione said, through her tears.


She began to slowly back up down the aisle, eyes streaming, vision blurred. She felt like she might throw up. She picked up the back of her dress and began to run. She ran back down the aisle and through those cursed double doors. She ran down the stairs and out of the church. She ran as fast and as far as she could before she apparated with a loud pop.


A/N: Sorry about the long wait, but that was a difficult chapter to write. I didn’t want to rush it, and I didn’t want to leave anything out. I will be going out of town in a few days, and for the next few I will be getting ready. Once I am settled, I will be writing the final chapter and the epilogue. Thank you all so much for your reviews, and I really hope you enjoyed this chapter.