The man behind the mask

A/N: HentaiZaru, lol I wasn't dropping this one? Lol where did you get the idea I was? lol *gives here cookies* BEFORE YOU READ!!!! I thought I would share with everyone the videos that made me want to write a H/LV fic in the first place, and gave me insight to a less then spotless james. I watched both of these months ago and man behind the mask began to form in my mind so you have them to thank.

They were both so beautiful and deep that ideas for MBTM kept springing up. I watched them both again and got direct inspiration for this chapter. Please watch these very beautiful beautiful videos. Give the makers some praise if you like it. Tell them Micahx20 sent you. The links for the video are numberd, (1) and (2). The numbers are next to whatever they inspired. *winks*. Now without further adieu, HERE YOU GO Everyone!!! Hope you like

Harry spent the rest of that night and most of the next morning reading in his room. He knew the spell backwards and forwards. Its uses, its effects its many uses. Voldemort had even made him learn to cast it, he had refused to cast it on a person. An animal was bad enough, Harry shiverd remembering the feeling the spell had left in his blood. Like an after taste. It burned in his veins.

Powerful magic, he got the feeling trying to cast such a spell would have killed a lesser wizard. He had so much to think about all at once, Remus, Sirius, Dumbledore, being hier of Gryffendor, the possible extenction of his race. He flinched, it wasn't that he didn't like muggles. He didn't hate all muggles it was just that his experiance with them had not givin them a shining reputation. His childhood had been far from happy, far from anything a childhood should be. The Dursleys had done ever cruelty short of killing him. For days at a time they would see no reason to feed him, no reason to invite him in out of the cold during winter, no reason not to hit him over the head with a frying pan for that matter.

No reason not to overwork him, and no reason to love him it seemd. Aunt Marge had hardly been any better, that nasty dog of hers could have been rabie infested and she would have just laughed as it bit him. His classmates had either teased and ignored him and in some cases beat him up. To the point where he would have to flee for saftey or although he hadn't known it at the time, make himself invisible or magicaly apear on roof tops. His life had been one long miserable hell when he had thought himself a muggle when he had lived with them before he even knew the distinction between the two.

Discovering Wizards had been his salvation. He had discoverd kind wonderful people like the Weasleys. He had made his first friends, he had discoverd Remus and Sirius. To him the world of Wizards was the way the world should be. It was a place of light and happiness becuase it was the only place he had ever been happy. Was it so wrong to not want all of that to dissaper? Was it wrong to balk at the thought of everyone being Muggle of loosing all that he had found? True it wouldn't be in his life time but it would be in his childrens and thier childrens children.

"It is not wrong to feel this way Harry, in fact it is how you should feel. You are a wizard it is only natuarl for you to want the continuance of our people. It is one of the many things I want, putting control on Muggles is a way to do this."

Harry stiffend as Voldemort apeared near his shoulder, he was getting used to him just apearing like that but didn't think he ever get used to his reading his thoughts all the time. He was leaning over him a little having the taller older man so close to him sent a trill of nervouse energy up his spine. He resisted the urge to shy away, instead he faced him down with stuborn boldness.

"Something you needed? You gave me a lot of books to read and I'm not done." He sniped ungrasiously, Voldemort eyed him with those deap sea green eyes a glint of amusment flashing in thier depths.

Those eyes were so deap...deaper then the sea it seemed. Harry shiverd and shyed away dispite his resolve to not be intimidated.

"Harry it will take you months to finish all the books I plan to give you. You can finish learning spells and thier origions later. I want to take you on a little journey for your next lesson. However if reading is so important to you I will give you an hours time. I have business to take care of." Voldemort steped away from him his raven hair catching the sunlight from the open window.

What busniess? Harry wonderd, what creul plans did the man have? He didn't think about it, he just did it. He reached out to touch the mind of the man standing so near him. He didn't expect to be able to breach his defenses after all Voldemort was so much stronger then he. He feel Voldemorts elation and a swell of triumph as he touched the mind of his enemy. Harry realised with shock that Voldemort wanted them to touch minds.

He knew why a moment later.

Feeling...the feeling of touching minds with Voldemort was like sticking his finger into an electric socket and laying in a sauna all at once. He could feel all the stored and uleashed power in the man thruming in his viens and pounding in his heart like a drum beat. He was swamped with a curiouse sensation of eratic heat, something molten and lazy swam in his blood stream.

((Do not loose yourself in him. Touching minds is a form of intamacy the feeling istelf is a form of suduction? Will you allow yourself to be suduced by one so dark? Let us get what we came for and press on.)) Eros warned him.

He instantly broke free of the haze fogging his brain and snatched the information he saught. Then he almost had to physicaly draw himself out of the mind of his adversary. The effort left him a little shakin and oddly there was an aching in his body, one of dissapointment.

Voldemort smirked at him as always knowing his thoughts.

Harry glared at him the information he had pulled from him blasting away any lingering affects from being inside the mans mind. "Thats just beyond cruel! Whats your reason for punishing Malfoy?" Harry demanded.

Voldemorts eyes turned glacial the heat that had been there only moments before disapearing. "Because he questiond me, because he dared to draw his wand on his master. That is reason enough, Having power and keeping it are two diffrent things Harry. To stay in power I must have total devotion from those who serve me, Lucius challenged me, I will answer it."

"He thought you did something to Remus! He was just trying to protect his..." Harry falterd. He didn't know what Remus was to Lucius. A pet? A lover? Harry shiverd in revulsion at this image. Remus would never do that of his own free will so it would have to be force. And that thought made him want to aide Voldemort in his punishment of the man.

Voldemort chuckled. It was the second time Voldemort had done this in his precance and then like before he looked suprised to hear the sound come from him. Last time he had gotten so angry after it had escaped him. He doesn't like laughing. Harry realised. Voldemort didn't like laughter, he'd heard the cold cackling laughter of evil come from him before but not this radiant if rusty sound of simple amusment and joy. It didn't fit with his image of the man and Voldemort didn't seem to think so either.

Voldemort frowned his eyes going cold again. He was watching Harry so intensly that Harry couldn't pull his eyes away from him. He reached out one strong slender finger to lightly touch his scar. There was no pain only a light hazey warmth. "laughter and joy. It is not that I dont like such things, how can you dislike or like something you have never felt. I have never known real joy so therefore it is of little importance to me. You wonder how I can care so little for the happiness of others. I do not know what this joy this feeling of happiness you speak of is. So it is not important to me, so I care not if others have or loose it."

Harry shiverd, what a cold uncaring outlook on life! "You say you want me to be your partner and your consort. You want me to share a bed and a life with you." Harry felt fear and another giddy emotion slam into him at the visions the thought of sleeping with the man before him evoked. "How can you expect me to willingly serve or be with you if you dont care about my happiness? You hope to turn Remus by pointing out that Dumbledore cares nothing for his personal happiness. It's a valid point but you just painted yourself with the same brush!"

Whatever he had said the warm light and gentle touch left Voldemort faster then a split second. Cold blistering fury blazed in his eyes and his touch became hard and cruel. Harry felt pain lance up his arm as Voldemorts hands reached out to grip his wrist in a bone breaking grip.

"Do not compare me to that man! The stealer of innocance the violater of youth! I may be all that you name me, cold uncaring even evil, But I am not the monster lurking in the shadows hiding behing light and words of love. Alow me the honor of being seperate from him. I fight you face to face across the batelfield. He sneaks up from behind like the basest of cowards. Do not ever compare me to one such as he! It is because of him this war has started, you have him to thank for your currant state Harry Potter!"

With utter disgust and blistering anger Voldemort tossed his arm away as if he couldn't bare to be touching him any longer. Harry trembled staring up at him in shock. He knew Voldemort didn't like Dumbledore, nor did he respect him but where had this deep seeded hatred for the man come from?

"You will know soon enough Harry. Be ready in an hours time." With that last Voldemort swept from the room leaving Harry alone.
~~~***~~~~~***~~~***~~~~**~~~~~

Severus watched with growing amusment as Sirius tried to undo the binding of rope tying his two front paws together. The puppy had been struggling for near to an hour now, he took time out ever ten minutes to pant in exaustion and growl at him. Severus smiled, Sirius was so bullheaded when he had given the man the challenge he knew he would attack it with disgrunteld frevor. He wouldn't except his help either, so determind to do it on his own.

"You know Black all you have to do is admit you cant get out of that and let me teach you the secrete." Severus tried to reason with him again. Sirius snarled at him, had he been human Snape had a feeling Sirius would have just told him to Sodd off. He chuckled, "Fine with me then Black you can struggle for a while until your ready to give up that pride of yours."

Severus turned away to concentrate on a letter he was penning pretending not to notice the small puppies struggles and yips of frustraiton. It really was rather pathetic wathcing him flop and wriggle and squirm in an attempt to free himself. Sirius jerked on the binds with his teeth only to fall onto his back. He gave a yelp of suprise and a whine escaped as he tried to right himself only to find without use of his front paws this was impossible. He watched him struggle for a while yipping and barking in frustration.


"oh for christ sake Black it's impossible, theres a binding spell on them. Which means you will never get free, unless you use wandless magic!" Severus snapped taking pitty on what was the most pitiful sight he had seen in years. Sirius lay on his side panting and glaring at him. Severus shrugged, "I do plan on teaching you that but I wanted to teach you to ask me for help first. You failed by the way."

With a flick of his wand the binds dissapered and Sirius clamored to his feet. With angry eyes and a stiff spine he trotted over to Snapes chair. With disdain he lifted on leg and peed on the chair leg.

Severus burst into laughter. Sirius did not need to be human for his message to be clear. Snape reached down scooping the puppy up into his arms and squeezing him a little harder then neccesary.

"Always so crude Sirius. I have decided your not quite ready for learning magic. Your still in the basic stage, you and I have some trust issus to work out."

Sirius gave him a look and nibbled on his finger. Severus patted his head absently as he thought of a way to teach Sirius to depend on him, oddly enough he liked the sound of that. Sirius needing him, depending on him was a thought that sent a wave of pleasure into his being.

"Come with me I have an idea, we'll start with the basics would you like to play a game Sirius?"

Severus knew Sirius would like nothing better then to remain cool and angry towards him. His puppy like nature and own natural curiosity got the better of him. His tail wagged.

Severus smiled.
~~~~~~Change of View~~~~

Sirius wriggled deeper into the embrace of the man holding him. The warmth from his hold seeped into his body in comforting waves. A game? What sort of game, if it was anything like the last one Sirius would do more then pee on his chair! That had been a rather nasty trick, he couldn't believe Snape had just watched him struggle like that while knowing there was no way for him to get free.

You could have made things easy on yourself and just asked him for help. Especially after the first half hour. Yeah he knew that but the thought of asking Snape for anything rubbed him the wrong way. Having to depend on him rubbed him the wrong way. Snapes hands moving on his skin in that slow motion however definitely rubbed him the right way! He was content to let the man carry him as long as he was going to do that. That was one thing he was going to miss once he was human again. He envied real dogs.

He contemplated chewing on Severus face a little to remind him he had neither accepted his fate nor forgiven the git for doing this to him. But the man was smiling, he had never seen him do that before. It was such a rare event and so disarming he didn't want to do anything to break the moment.
It s
Just this once.

~~~****~~~~~~****~~~~~***
(1)

Just yesterday we were four friends, united together. Unbreakable nothing could go wrong. Now? Now what do we have left but the shattered pieces of broken dreams. Remus stared out the window of the room he shared with Lucius not real seeing anything.

His heart was broken. He had always thought that phrase to be a metaphor and a rather corny one at that. Now he knew differently. His heart actually throbbed with the pain of betrayal, each beat actually hurt. His body felt weakened like some one had come up from behind and struck him in the chest.

First Peter, now Dumbledor and James.

All that was left of him was what he pretended, he didn't even have that anymore. The people he had given his trust and his loyalty to had not only lied to him but had tried to kill him. They cared nothing for him or the ideals they claimed to support. Remus shuddered and bit back the sob wanting to tear from his throat. He had been such a blind fool, the signs had always been there.

Late spring sunlight, the laughter of school children and young boys. The sound of splashing water as someone tossed stones in the lake. His cloak slung over his shoulder and white dress shirt unbuttoned as far as decorum would allow. His tie loosened and swinging around his neck. His hair floating in the breeze and a confident stride.

Happy.

"How did you do on your N.E.W.T.S. you think Moony?" Sirius asked him. His cloths in similar lazy disarray. Today was one of those late spring days with the lazy heat of summer. His black hair was a little damp with sweat but his eyes danced with merriment.

"He aced every one! Didn't you Moony!" A voice from behind them spoke. Remus laughed as James slung an arm around his shoulder nearly dragging him to the ground.

"Yeah unlike you Prongs I don't know how you'd pass Potions without Evans feeding you the answers. A miracle her falling for you mate she always despised you." Sirius laughed slinging his own arm around James free one. Peter eyed all of them with something shadowed in his eyes.

"Yeah I always wondered about that, she always hated you? What changed her mind?" Peter asked. James halted like Peter had slapped him nearly dragging Remus to the ground.

"Maybe she just realised that I'm not such a bad guy Worm, what are you inferring?" James asked a thread of danger in his voice. Remus watched them both warily, he supposed Peter had stepped on James pride.

"I'm sure Peter didn't mean..." Remus tried to interject James silenced him with a motion.

"NO! I think he means exactly what he says? You think I cant get a girl without hexing her Wormy? Is that it? You think Lilly only changed her mind cause I did something? I think that's what he meant!" James hissed. Peter paled backing up.

"Prongs come on I don't think he meant that at all, Lilly loves you any idiot can see that. Peters just being slow as always" Sirius interjected putting a calming hand on his friends arm.

Peter shook his head in agreement eyeing James with terror. Remus felt bad for him, and angry James was not something he wanted to face. James was over reacting though, Lilly had always hated James. She thought he was mean and cold and told everyone she'd take snakes and squids over him any day. Then she had suddenly changed her mind and fallen in love with him. Peter was just remarking on that there was no need to get so dangerously defensive.

James sneered at Peter, "Yeah that's you Wormy slow as a troll. Don't even know how you made it to your seventh year. Your too stupid to live sometimes!" Then he laughed slapping Peter hard on the back, it was friendly but still managed to send him sprawling on his face.


"Get up Worm tail you can play with your fellow slugs later, come on Sirius lets go find some fun." James laughed not bothering to help him up. Sirius shot Remus a questioning glance, Remus nodded for him to go and he followed James. Like always. Remus helped his fallen friend up. Peter was staring after their two departed friends.

"I'm always behind." He muttered. Remus helped brush him off.

"Well James just sometimes forgets your smaller and weaker then him he didn't mean to push you." Remus defended his friend. Peter eyed him an unfamiliar light shining in his eyes.

"Yeah whatever Remus! I am not too stupid to live, one day he's going to get his and I wont care." He seethed.

"Don't talk like that, what are you trying to say?" Remus demanded gripping Peters arm tightly. James had his faults but he didn't deserve to be hurt. He wouldn't let anyone hurt his best friend!

Peter paled and shook his head, "Nothing I'm just ranting. James is my friend I know he didn't mean to push me."

Remus watched him for a moment then let his guard down, "come on we better catch up before they get into trouble we can't get them out of."

It had all been there right in front of him. James had always been cold and uncaring of any pleasure but his own. He had treated Peter so callously, treated anyone who displeased him with humiliation and disdain. Lilly had seen it from the first she never would have tied herself to someone like that. Why hadn't he questioned her sudden change of heart more. Why hadn't he questioned anything?

He did now. He was no mans puppet, no mans toy. He had been a fool for far too long, he was not going to let Lucius and Voldemort shape him into a weapon they could use either. He was however going to take advantage of whatever they could teach him. Then he was taking Harry and Sirius and getting out of here, if the entire world fought solely for themselves then they at least would fight for what the believed in.

The trouble was figuring out what he believed.

To be continued.

A/N: When you watch the video yeah I did model Remus younger healthy look after the Remus in the video. I could see he and Lucius together that way and it was amazing!!! lol in the next chapter part 2 Disarm we get an in depth look into Toms past. Well tell me what you think. You only saw what Vid (I) inspired but if you want to go ahead and watch vid (2) to get an idea of the next chapter go ahead.

Videos: (1) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R90UMfmMR3k
(2) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KF54FI6SPJE&mode=related&search=