Torn - Repost
folder
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
12,521
Reviews:
30
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
Harry Potter › Slash - Male/Male
Rating:
Adult ++
Chapters:
20
Views:
12,521
Reviews:
30
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Harry Potter, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Chapter 11
TITLE: Torn
AUTHOR: Ravenkiss
STATUS/PART: 11/?
EMAIL: Ravenkiss2000@yahoo.com
RATING: NC17
PAIRING: SS/RL, SS/RH
SPOILERS: OOP
WARNINGS: AU, M/M Slash, Rape, Violence
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, no money made.
SUMMARY: Hagrid has some time to think.
AUTHOR\'S NOTES: This is a look into how Hagrid sees the situation.
BETA: The Goblet and Sylvadin
Part 11
The chopping of wood is a very simple activity. First, set up a large piece of wood on a hard surface such as a rock, or an old tree stump. Next, swing the axe in a broad arcing overhand stroke and strike the wood dead center. The result of this is always the same; you end up with two smaller pieces of wood.
It was hard, sweaty work, (though not so hard on the nose as mucking the stables) and for Rubeus Hagrid, the simplicity brought clarity of thought. He often felt that chopping wood allowed him to cut to the heart of his problems. He did some of his best thinking while chopping wood.
But for some reason this day that much needed clarity eluded him.
His mind went invariably back to the reason for his quandary, which was the enigma that was Severus Snape. A pale, usually scowling man whose words could be shaper then a dragon\'s tooth. Snape often seemed cold and heartless to those around him, yet during the war he sacrificed much for people who often treated him little better then a leper.
This was the man that Hagrid now attempted to understand. Snape was such a complex person. Slytherin, Potions Master, avowed cynic, spy, hero, and strangest of all, the man that might be carrying his child.
If things had been just a little different, he would have been able to spend time with Severus and gotten to know him better. Perhaps he could have even persuaded the dour man to trust him. He really wanted to be Snape\'s friend and perhaps one day, his lover.
Hagrid had wanted to be his friend, when the prickly man had been a tiny, painfully thin looking boy. The smallest student of his year, he had always been so melancholy. The half-giant had tried to befriend him that first year, to let the young man know even then that he was not alone. But Lucius Malfoy and the older Slytherins had very quickly let young Severus know that the House of the Snake did not associate with an oversized Gryffindor gamekeeper.
He had begun to believe that Professor Snape would never really be able to open up and talk to him, or anyone else for that matter. The black haired wizard was completely closed off, so much like a turtle pulled tight into its shell that sometimes Dumbledore himself could not reach him.
But just a few days ago, everything had changed. Because of all that had happened since poor Harry\'s illness, there was a ray of hope. Finally, there was an opening in the walls of Severus Snape\'s formidable defenses. This was certainly not the way that he would have chosen to gain entrance into the Potions Master\'s world, yet there was the possibility that just maybe he could persuade the Slytherin to look past his rough exterior and even consider him as a friend. Perhaps one day Severus might even see him as a potential mate.
But there was a pixie in the pudding, Remus Lupin.
There was an equal chance that the Defense teacher might be the father of Snape\'s child. That made things much more complicated. Rubeus Hagrid never pretended to be a genius, but then, it would hardly take one to see that the other Gryffindor wanted the Potions Master as more then a friend.
It was impossible to misinterpret Lupin\'s intentions. The werewolf was extremely excited about the possibility that the child might be his. But that was not all. Those deep brown eyes looked at Snape the way a starving dog would at a steak. Lupin obviously wanted to bed Severus and Hagrid could not deny it, he was jealous.
Hagrid was very aware that Remus Lupin had many advantages over him. After all, he was a fully trained wizard who did not have to hide his wand in a pink parasol. Lupin was about the same age as Severus, where the half-giant was nearly thirty years older.
The only real downside to Remus was the fact that he was a werewolf.
True, it was a big downside. Thing is, it only effected him a couple of days a month. The positive side was that the younger Gryffindor was well educated, soft-spoken, handsome and sophisticated. All the things that Hagrid was not.
He was very aware that, thanks in a large part to the fact that the blood of giants flowed through his veins, he was big, sometimes a little clumsy, and not exactly most people\'s idea of good looking.
But still, the half-giant knew that he had many good qualities also. He was dependable, steady, loyal, strong. And while he would very much like to have a sexual relationship with Severus, his age and experience gave him some control of his passions. He knew how to take things slow, and would not push the Slytherin into anything too quickly.
Perhaps most important, both his age and his experiences with the many dangerous creatures that he cared for gave him one advantage over the werewolf. Hagrid had been blessed with a nearly infinite supply of patience, which anyone that wanted Severus Snape for a friend, let alone lover, would need in abundance even under the best of circumstances.
Though lately, Remus was pushing even his patience to its limits. At times the two Gryffindors had found themselves glaring at one another in the small waiting room in the infirmary like a pair of stags in rutting season. There had even been a few heated discussions on the subject of the sleeping Potions Master. Eventually, Dumbledore had strongly \'suggested\' that they should make a schedule where they would take turns watching over Snape.
They had almost come to blows on several occasions.
But now things were even more complicated. Severus was out of the infirmary and he needed more care then before.
He knew that Remus had not been happy with him a few days ago in the Potions Master\'s room. When Severus had panicked and tried to harm himself it was Hagrid that held him immobile, something that Remus had been unable to do without hurting him.
A small shudder ran through him as he recalled the other time that he had touched the Potions Master just over a fortnight before. The smaller man had been unconscious and dangerously close to bleeding to death.
That was a far cry from the morning when Severus had been whimpering and struggling against him. Hagrid did not like to admit it, but it had felt a little too good to hold that slender body against his.
Hagrid was lucky that neither Severus nor Remus had noticed that having a lap full of writhing whimpering Slytherin clutching at him had started to arouse him. He eventually had to excuse himself early from Breakfast so that he could, take care of the problem before his first class.
Oddly enough, the gamekeeper had never thought of himself as gay. He really had not thought of himself as straight for that matter. Over the years he had usually found himself more attracted to women, but he would certainly not kick an attractive, willing man out of his bed.
Not that he had ever actually had a man in his bed before. So far, all of his experiences of sex with men had happened after a long period of unavoidable celibacy and quite a few potent drinks in one of the seedier pubs of Knockturn Alley.
Those experiences had always been quick dirty shags in an alley. Not because he was particularly ashamed of anything that happened, but because he had learned early that when men wanted to shag men it was always in back alleys.
In his experience up until now, that was just how it was done.
The half-giant had known for many years that he could not only enjoy sex with other men, but that those men had very much enjoyed sex with him. Several had offered to pay for his services.
He sighed as he attempted to put down the arousal he felt as thoughts of those illicit encounters filled his mind. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone, male or female.
Hagrid quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He would not even consider Severus in that way. What he had done before with his male partners had been fun, if kind of, nasty. That was not how he saw the Slytherin. He was very special. What he wanted with Severus would be done in a soft bed, over many hours, so that he could get to know his body, and his heart.
And that was it. Now finally, he had cut to the heart of the matter.
Hagrid considered himself an honorable man. If he did not have any feeling for Severus, even if he felt that all he wanted from the other man was sex, he would have just stepped aside. To be sure he would still have wanted to be involved with the child if it turned out to be his, but he would have just walk away and left Severus to Remus as the werewolf and some of his fellow professors obviously wanted.
The problem was that he did have feelings for him.
He found himself remembering the night he had found the badly wounded wizard on the ground behind his hut. Hagrid felt his heart pound at the thought that if he had been just a few moments later, he would have found only a cold corpse.
Did the Potions Master owe him a life debt for that? While Hagrid was not officially a fully qualified wizard, a life debt was not just arbitrary rule made by men, like the diploma he never received. It was a bond created by magic.
That was something else that they would need to discuss.
Hagrid set down his axe since he had ceased chopping wood some time ago and sat down on a low stone fence behind his hut. He sighed as his eyes were drawn to the castle. He caught a glimpse of movement, a shadow in the ground floor window of Severus Snape\'s office.
Was it Severus? Was Lupin there again? The man always seemed to hover near Severus. Following him, putting himself between Hagrid and the Potions Master. The only person who could get near Snape with Remus around was Dumbledore.
Maybe he could ask the Headmaster to help him? He and possibly Professor Sprout seemed to be about the only people on the staff that remained neutral as to which of them the Potions Master should chose. Dumbledore could arrange for him to be able to talk to Severus alone. Unless the older man believed as McGonagall obviously did, that Lupin was the better match for Severus? Not that she said exactly that, but her meaning was clear enough.
\"We all know that you are a big hearted man, and you feel some obligation to Severus because the baby might be yours. But you really should not. It was just an accident. No one expects you to \'make an honest man\' of Severus,\" she had said with a smile.
\"I am sure that Severus will be just fine Hagrid, and that if the child is yours, you will have visitation rights,\" Professor Flitwick had informed him, also with a smile.
Why did everyone just assume that he would only be concerned about the child? Or that he \'should\' only be concerned about the child? Did they think that he was not good enough to have a family?
They would deny it, but that was exactly what they thought. They saw him as just good old dependable Hagrid. The affable half-giant that was as much a part of the scenery of Hogwarts as the Forbidden Forest and the Quidditch pitch. They did not believe that he could be a real father, or husband.
No, he was just the nice \'uncle\' that would bring unicorns and nifflers for the little one to play with. Or who could give a child a pony ride on his back for hours. But in the eyes of those around him, he could not be a real man and take on such a heavy responsibility.
Hagrid took up the axe and with one hand brought it down so hard that it stuck deep in the center of the old stump. Then he turned and walked back towards his hut as the chill of the morning began to fad into the pleasant warmth of the day. He would find a way to talk to Severus, to make sure that the Slytherin knew all of his intentions towards him.
Suddenly, he stopped short as he noticed a lone figure in black near the lake. It looked as if Merlin were smiling down on Hagrid as he recognized the long lean form of Severus Snape. The man limped heavily as he neared the reeds.
Then as he watched the Slytherin\'s limp became more pronounced and Severus all but collapsed onto a handy rock. Hagrid felt a sense of elation as he scanned the area. Severus was alone, there was no Remus Lupin or anyone else in sight, and it looked like he needed help.
Unable to hide a triumphant smile, Hagrid took a deep breath and strode purposefully towards the lake.
tbc
AUTHOR: Ravenkiss
STATUS/PART: 11/?
EMAIL: Ravenkiss2000@yahoo.com
RATING: NC17
PAIRING: SS/RL, SS/RH
SPOILERS: OOP
WARNINGS: AU, M/M Slash, Rape, Violence
DISCLAIMER: Not mine, no money made.
SUMMARY: Hagrid has some time to think.
AUTHOR\'S NOTES: This is a look into how Hagrid sees the situation.
BETA: The Goblet and Sylvadin
Part 11
The chopping of wood is a very simple activity. First, set up a large piece of wood on a hard surface such as a rock, or an old tree stump. Next, swing the axe in a broad arcing overhand stroke and strike the wood dead center. The result of this is always the same; you end up with two smaller pieces of wood.
It was hard, sweaty work, (though not so hard on the nose as mucking the stables) and for Rubeus Hagrid, the simplicity brought clarity of thought. He often felt that chopping wood allowed him to cut to the heart of his problems. He did some of his best thinking while chopping wood.
But for some reason this day that much needed clarity eluded him.
His mind went invariably back to the reason for his quandary, which was the enigma that was Severus Snape. A pale, usually scowling man whose words could be shaper then a dragon\'s tooth. Snape often seemed cold and heartless to those around him, yet during the war he sacrificed much for people who often treated him little better then a leper.
This was the man that Hagrid now attempted to understand. Snape was such a complex person. Slytherin, Potions Master, avowed cynic, spy, hero, and strangest of all, the man that might be carrying his child.
If things had been just a little different, he would have been able to spend time with Severus and gotten to know him better. Perhaps he could have even persuaded the dour man to trust him. He really wanted to be Snape\'s friend and perhaps one day, his lover.
Hagrid had wanted to be his friend, when the prickly man had been a tiny, painfully thin looking boy. The smallest student of his year, he had always been so melancholy. The half-giant had tried to befriend him that first year, to let the young man know even then that he was not alone. But Lucius Malfoy and the older Slytherins had very quickly let young Severus know that the House of the Snake did not associate with an oversized Gryffindor gamekeeper.
He had begun to believe that Professor Snape would never really be able to open up and talk to him, or anyone else for that matter. The black haired wizard was completely closed off, so much like a turtle pulled tight into its shell that sometimes Dumbledore himself could not reach him.
But just a few days ago, everything had changed. Because of all that had happened since poor Harry\'s illness, there was a ray of hope. Finally, there was an opening in the walls of Severus Snape\'s formidable defenses. This was certainly not the way that he would have chosen to gain entrance into the Potions Master\'s world, yet there was the possibility that just maybe he could persuade the Slytherin to look past his rough exterior and even consider him as a friend. Perhaps one day Severus might even see him as a potential mate.
But there was a pixie in the pudding, Remus Lupin.
There was an equal chance that the Defense teacher might be the father of Snape\'s child. That made things much more complicated. Rubeus Hagrid never pretended to be a genius, but then, it would hardly take one to see that the other Gryffindor wanted the Potions Master as more then a friend.
It was impossible to misinterpret Lupin\'s intentions. The werewolf was extremely excited about the possibility that the child might be his. But that was not all. Those deep brown eyes looked at Snape the way a starving dog would at a steak. Lupin obviously wanted to bed Severus and Hagrid could not deny it, he was jealous.
Hagrid was very aware that Remus Lupin had many advantages over him. After all, he was a fully trained wizard who did not have to hide his wand in a pink parasol. Lupin was about the same age as Severus, where the half-giant was nearly thirty years older.
The only real downside to Remus was the fact that he was a werewolf.
True, it was a big downside. Thing is, it only effected him a couple of days a month. The positive side was that the younger Gryffindor was well educated, soft-spoken, handsome and sophisticated. All the things that Hagrid was not.
He was very aware that, thanks in a large part to the fact that the blood of giants flowed through his veins, he was big, sometimes a little clumsy, and not exactly most people\'s idea of good looking.
But still, the half-giant knew that he had many good qualities also. He was dependable, steady, loyal, strong. And while he would very much like to have a sexual relationship with Severus, his age and experience gave him some control of his passions. He knew how to take things slow, and would not push the Slytherin into anything too quickly.
Perhaps most important, both his age and his experiences with the many dangerous creatures that he cared for gave him one advantage over the werewolf. Hagrid had been blessed with a nearly infinite supply of patience, which anyone that wanted Severus Snape for a friend, let alone lover, would need in abundance even under the best of circumstances.
Though lately, Remus was pushing even his patience to its limits. At times the two Gryffindors had found themselves glaring at one another in the small waiting room in the infirmary like a pair of stags in rutting season. There had even been a few heated discussions on the subject of the sleeping Potions Master. Eventually, Dumbledore had strongly \'suggested\' that they should make a schedule where they would take turns watching over Snape.
They had almost come to blows on several occasions.
But now things were even more complicated. Severus was out of the infirmary and he needed more care then before.
He knew that Remus had not been happy with him a few days ago in the Potions Master\'s room. When Severus had panicked and tried to harm himself it was Hagrid that held him immobile, something that Remus had been unable to do without hurting him.
A small shudder ran through him as he recalled the other time that he had touched the Potions Master just over a fortnight before. The smaller man had been unconscious and dangerously close to bleeding to death.
That was a far cry from the morning when Severus had been whimpering and struggling against him. Hagrid did not like to admit it, but it had felt a little too good to hold that slender body against his.
Hagrid was lucky that neither Severus nor Remus had noticed that having a lap full of writhing whimpering Slytherin clutching at him had started to arouse him. He eventually had to excuse himself early from Breakfast so that he could, take care of the problem before his first class.
Oddly enough, the gamekeeper had never thought of himself as gay. He really had not thought of himself as straight for that matter. Over the years he had usually found himself more attracted to women, but he would certainly not kick an attractive, willing man out of his bed.
Not that he had ever actually had a man in his bed before. So far, all of his experiences of sex with men had happened after a long period of unavoidable celibacy and quite a few potent drinks in one of the seedier pubs of Knockturn Alley.
Those experiences had always been quick dirty shags in an alley. Not because he was particularly ashamed of anything that happened, but because he had learned early that when men wanted to shag men it was always in back alleys.
In his experience up until now, that was just how it was done.
The half-giant had known for many years that he could not only enjoy sex with other men, but that those men had very much enjoyed sex with him. Several had offered to pay for his services.
He sighed as he attempted to put down the arousal he felt as thoughts of those illicit encounters filled his mind. It had been a long time since he had been with anyone, male or female.
Hagrid quickly pushed those thoughts out of his mind. He would not even consider Severus in that way. What he had done before with his male partners had been fun, if kind of, nasty. That was not how he saw the Slytherin. He was very special. What he wanted with Severus would be done in a soft bed, over many hours, so that he could get to know his body, and his heart.
And that was it. Now finally, he had cut to the heart of the matter.
Hagrid considered himself an honorable man. If he did not have any feeling for Severus, even if he felt that all he wanted from the other man was sex, he would have just stepped aside. To be sure he would still have wanted to be involved with the child if it turned out to be his, but he would have just walk away and left Severus to Remus as the werewolf and some of his fellow professors obviously wanted.
The problem was that he did have feelings for him.
He found himself remembering the night he had found the badly wounded wizard on the ground behind his hut. Hagrid felt his heart pound at the thought that if he had been just a few moments later, he would have found only a cold corpse.
Did the Potions Master owe him a life debt for that? While Hagrid was not officially a fully qualified wizard, a life debt was not just arbitrary rule made by men, like the diploma he never received. It was a bond created by magic.
That was something else that they would need to discuss.
Hagrid set down his axe since he had ceased chopping wood some time ago and sat down on a low stone fence behind his hut. He sighed as his eyes were drawn to the castle. He caught a glimpse of movement, a shadow in the ground floor window of Severus Snape\'s office.
Was it Severus? Was Lupin there again? The man always seemed to hover near Severus. Following him, putting himself between Hagrid and the Potions Master. The only person who could get near Snape with Remus around was Dumbledore.
Maybe he could ask the Headmaster to help him? He and possibly Professor Sprout seemed to be about the only people on the staff that remained neutral as to which of them the Potions Master should chose. Dumbledore could arrange for him to be able to talk to Severus alone. Unless the older man believed as McGonagall obviously did, that Lupin was the better match for Severus? Not that she said exactly that, but her meaning was clear enough.
\"We all know that you are a big hearted man, and you feel some obligation to Severus because the baby might be yours. But you really should not. It was just an accident. No one expects you to \'make an honest man\' of Severus,\" she had said with a smile.
\"I am sure that Severus will be just fine Hagrid, and that if the child is yours, you will have visitation rights,\" Professor Flitwick had informed him, also with a smile.
Why did everyone just assume that he would only be concerned about the child? Or that he \'should\' only be concerned about the child? Did they think that he was not good enough to have a family?
They would deny it, but that was exactly what they thought. They saw him as just good old dependable Hagrid. The affable half-giant that was as much a part of the scenery of Hogwarts as the Forbidden Forest and the Quidditch pitch. They did not believe that he could be a real father, or husband.
No, he was just the nice \'uncle\' that would bring unicorns and nifflers for the little one to play with. Or who could give a child a pony ride on his back for hours. But in the eyes of those around him, he could not be a real man and take on such a heavy responsibility.
Hagrid took up the axe and with one hand brought it down so hard that it stuck deep in the center of the old stump. Then he turned and walked back towards his hut as the chill of the morning began to fad into the pleasant warmth of the day. He would find a way to talk to Severus, to make sure that the Slytherin knew all of his intentions towards him.
Suddenly, he stopped short as he noticed a lone figure in black near the lake. It looked as if Merlin were smiling down on Hagrid as he recognized the long lean form of Severus Snape. The man limped heavily as he neared the reeds.
Then as he watched the Slytherin\'s limp became more pronounced and Severus all but collapsed onto a handy rock. Hagrid felt a sense of elation as he scanned the area. Severus was alone, there was no Remus Lupin or anyone else in sight, and it looked like he needed help.
Unable to hide a triumphant smile, Hagrid took a deep breath and strode purposefully towards the lake.
tbc